MAMA-BONES

Spock was walking down the corridor when howling laughter interrupted his thoughts on his latest experiments in the lab. A quick examination revealed it was coming from doctor McCoy’s quarters with the door left open. ‘Curiosity is a valuable tool for a scientist’ Spock reasoned.

“Your mama so fat her high school yearbook picture is an aerial shot!”

“Yo mama so stupid she got hit by a parked car!”

“Your mama so ugly people were asking her why she was wearing a Halloween mask in July!”

“Yo mama so fat people think she’s a part of the landscape!”

Another bought of laughter choked off any response. Jim fell out of the chair he was sitting in and Leonard, did Leonard have tears in his eyes?

“Pardon me, gentlemen. I fail to see how insulting one another’s maternal parent is amusing.”

It was Leonard who spoke first, “It’s more about creating a creative response than actually insulting. We just use mamas ‘cuz that’s how the game is played.”

“Yeah, Spock,” Jim said, “Didn’t you play yo mama when you were growing up?”

After a short pause he said, “My human heritage, and in turn my mother were regularly insulted, however it was hardly in good humor you are suggesting.”

Silence.

“Well, I’ll teach you how to play. It’s practically human tradition for pre-adolescents.” Leonard stated.

Needless to say it was a disaster. However when a few weeks later a mission between two parties required the Enterprise crew to insult each side per custom, Spock saved the day with a matter of fact, “Your mother.”

@septimore this IS TOO MUCH I LOVE IT TO BITS!!! Thank you so much for submitting!

I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL THEY FUCKING “DOMINATE THEIR OPPONENTS W DANCE” YOU JUST KNOW HOW PUMPED UP AND HYPED UP BTS IS FOR THIS COMEBACK STAGE THEY ARE GOING TO PULL OUT ALL THE STOPS AND SHOW MNET WHAT A STUPID DECISION THEY MADE BY SNUBBING THEM IN THE DANCE CATEGORY I AM SO HERE FOR THIS I AM SO HERE FOR MY BOYS SHOWING THE WORLD WHAT THEY’RE MADE OF.. THEY’RE GOING TO STEP SO FUCKING HARD MAN I CAN’T WAIT I DON’T EVEN CARE WHAT THEY DO ON THE STAGE ANYMORE I’M ALREADY SO PROUD OF THEM I’LL CHEER FOR THEM TIL THE DAY I DIE 

anonymous asked:

WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING YOU MAMA MILK ????

it started when people were asking for trash-god and I to adopt them and while I got the lactacting-tiddy-from-hell name of Mama Milk, trash was called Papa Trash and that is much cooler like that is the name of a grungy southern rock band or the nickname of a hilarious but crazy and mildly dangerous uncle who always gets wasted and punches someone in the face at family BBQ’s.  

Tell mama about the missing bones. The ache of the haunted doors. All those missing Sundays we buried in the wrong place. Can we laugh about it yet? Is Someday here? Your hands are melting wax and the smoke in your mouth looks like a ghost. Come here and haunt me one more time.
—  Y.Z, you’re in the wrong abandoned house

If Oliver had said it was Laurel who he got pregnant in that flashback I bet Moira woulda been like