Lord Sandwich

NHL!Bitty, Pt. IV - RPF

@missweber requested NHL!Bitty dealing with Hockey RPF. This got a little longer than expected, with a side pairing of Jack/philly-cheesesteak. Takes place a few months into Bitty’s second season with the Schooners. 

Origin: From Samwell to SeattlePart I - Hug Check | Part II - Chirping | Part III - Post-Season

The most annoying thing is that for all of the ‘Jack/Parse’, ‘Jack/Tater’, ‘Jack/Sid’‘Jack/fucking-every-player-on-the-east-coast’ fic, there are a whopping SIX  ‘Jack/Eric’ fics on Ao3. Six.

On one hand, Eric’s proud they’ve hidden their relationship so well, on the other, Eric is insulted. But really, with their disappointing portmanteau of ‘Jeric’ or ‘Zittle’, it’s not surprising they’re horribly under-appreciated.

“I just wish my fans were more creative.”

Over Skype, Eric watches Jack plow through a Philly cheesesteak with no small measure of jealousy. He’s lonely and hungry, and his asshole boyfriend is doing this on purpose.

“You know,” Jack says, talking out of the side of his half-full mouth, “if you let the Schoons call you ‘Bitty’ our name could have been ‘Zimbits’. That’s kinda on you.”

Keep reading


(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MT010gcU-4c)
i rise from my own ashes to give you dank memes

I’m growing weaker and weaker to weird ass crackships-
Let me list some bc I’m really dizzy and maybe this settles my head

Last one has mild sex references

~Cheese Sandwich x Twilight: Cute, goofy, weird pony being socially awkward around the almighty Princess of Friendship~ He makes cheesy (crackles) romantic songs to her, cheesy poems of love and stuff like that~ She just loves him back so much.
When they get together they’re very snuggly and affectionate. Damn does Twi love that fluffy mess of a mane-

Ember x Rarity: “d-dragons don’t DO fashion!!!” Super awkward and silly ‘I’m trying my best’ Ember who can’t get her Shit together around fashion horse~ Rarity was also incredibly attracted to the dragon lord ever since gauntlet of fire, she’s just so pretty and those m u s c l e s……. Their relationship is a long distance, only supported by letters one but when they meet they’re total trashy girlfriends. Rarity likes to make her wear stuff she pretends to hate but damn does she love those frilly silly dresses…


Applejack x King Sombra: mostly because of a clopfic but that’s another story alright
Just… love to think about Sombra trying to be spoopy and dark and flirty but he genuinely can’t bc AJ cuts his bullshit by the roots. She just pulls him down and says something to the likes of “Dumb old king, if ya wanna bang just say it gosh~”. Extremely sexual, do I have to mention that.

The end, not any less dizzy but this was fun

I a m n o t w e l l

Results of the poll are in! Thanks so much to everyone who participated! <3

The next sandwich I’ll be drawing is the “Sadist sandwich,” alternatively “Demon Lord sandwich,” consisting Victor x Yuuri x Phichit ;D It’ll be in the same style as the Russian sandwich because I’m aiming to create a sandwich set ^v^)b

I’ll likely hold another poll once I’ve started that one! I had a lot of fun and felt it was pretty successful, and it was nice being able to promote one of my less visible social medias ^ ^ If you so feel like it, check it out and participate in the next one!

I wanted to cheer myself up after the Paris incident by drawing Ghirahim (the original reason why I started this blog, I do ship Ghiradorf…don’t hate), unfortunately, my melancholic mood transferred onto his expression =/ I really don’t like it…sorry  he doesn’t look like his normal , flamboyant self…

Personally, I like to think he is looking at Link’s carcass like: Is that it? Really? Get up fool, you’re supposed to be a challenge.

(Because, Ghiraheeham on heroic mode  is a bitch and a half. He fucked me up twice before I could get him )

So season 3

Not that I’m not shook about everything else including the Klance, Kieth being a terrible leader for a good half a season, but getting better later on. Shiro’s cloning or fucked up shiro, either way, not my child. Lotor’s very much datable fem guards I’m in love with.

But I’m here for my ship.

I’m kinda upset that we didn’t get a Shiro return reunion. I mean this might be because he’s possibly fake and they’re saving it for later (or Shiro dies and I cry) but I really wanted that. In fact, besides Kieth we don’t really see ANYBODY thoroughly upset that Shiro’s gone. I know that they did and they just skipped over the heavy emotional turmoil but I live for that man!! Maybe I’m just salty because Kieth has been getting solid development since like halfway through season 1 while the rest of my babies are just itching for a turn in the limelight.

Adding on to this for the specifics of my ship, Shidge, I’m very, very upset that Pidge isn’t more shook about this. I know people are going to say if only Kieth was meant to be shaken about Shiro leaving then why would Pidge? Or why wouldn’t they all be completely shaken by this? I hear you, but hear this. While they all got close in this time, Pidge had already lost a father and a brother and has been searching for them. Its literally what defines her character and what connects her so strongly to shiro, not just as a fellow paladin but as a person in grief. Now she’s lost Shiro too who has been confirmed to be like a father figure of sorts to Pidge. So yes, I’m upset they didn’t give me some more of this.

And now with the return of Matt I’m almost positive that the staff will sprint away from Shidge faster than a jimmy johns guy delivering your sandwich because lord knows that Shidge was always the most problematic ship in terms of the act of actually shipping it. Some might argue it’s Klance but to most (clearly) age difference beats out gay. And DONT YOU TRY AND TELL ME THAT SCENE WHERE PIDGE STARED AT SHIRO WITH THE UTMOST ADMIRATION AND LOVE IN SEASON 2 WAS A FLUKE BECAUSE NOBODY SEEMS TO NOTICE THAT BUT THEY SURE NOTICE WHEN KIETH LOOKED VAGUELY DISGRUNTLED ABOUT LANCE BEING IN A POD LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE WAS ALSO LOOKING THE SAME. Sorry I’m salty.

But anyway, in scared for the future of my ship, which is already super duper low key because of the age difference. And the scene in season 3 where Pidge was saying I’ll find you Matt, it hurt me. It was like she wasn’t effected at all by her leader father figure disappearing. And don’t try and tell me otherwise because Pidge is very much the favorite other than Kieth. Kieth is there for obvious plot, but Pidge? Pidge is there by Shiro’s choice. (Okay in pushing this but she is a favorite)

Doggy Park (Hanzo x Reader)

Request: Hello, I was wondering, if requests were still open, if you could do something with s/o being sick and not able to walk their dog and thus asking Hanzo to do it for them? How do you think he’d handle it or would he interact much outside with other dog owners? Thank you!

Dude, I had so much fine writing this! Btw im sorry because I kind of tweaked it, youll see what i mean later lmao. Hope you enjoy it nonetheless

Words: 1055! Dang

TW; None! Please tell me if I need to tag something

Hanzo stared down at your dog, Beau. Beau was wagging his fluffy white tail while cocking his head, as if trying to ask him ‘Where is my other parent?’. Just a day ago you were fine, now you were too tired to get out of bed and you could barely breathe out of your nose due to snot. Hanzo had to sleep on the couch due to you not wanting to be near him too much incase he got sick too. He had to do some of your normal chores that you always insisted to take upon yourself. One was walking your dog. You had adopted Beau from a rescue shelter just a year after you started dating Hanzo. Beau wasn’t quite used to Hanzo, as he had just moved into your house only a few months ago.

Hanzo sighed as Beau left him to go to his doggy bowl and lap at the water. Hanzo grabbed the dark blue leash from the dinner table and walked to the white dog. He hooked the leash onto Beau’s matching blue collar, and they were out the door in less than five minutes. Beau seemed to have memorized the route that you would usually take him on, seeing as he was leading Hanzo instead of the other way around. They passed multiple other people with dogs, some waving or saying hello to him. After about seven minutes of walking, they walked by a man with his cat on a leash. People were crazy nowadays, Hanzo thought.

After a few more minutes Hanzo could feel his heart drop in his chest. Beau had led them to a doggy park. Dogs of different shapes and sizes were running around, playing fetch or just playing around with other dogs. Hanzo sighed as he took them to a small empty bench. He sat down and bent down to Beau’s level to take the leash off of his collar. Beau had yipped happily and immediately ran in the direction of the nearest dog his size.

Hanzo scanned the park, some dog owners were staring at tablets or books while others talked to each other. Multiple dog toys were strewn around. Did people bring their own or was it provided by the city? He didn’t know. His thoughts were interrupted by a loud belch, and a body dropping right next to him on the bench. “Howdy, there.” The man said, taking a sip of what Hanzo assumed was beer. Did he sneak it in?

Hanzo didn’t know what to do. Does he say howdy? Does he tip his imaginary hat? Not knowing what to do, Hanzo stared at the man. The man scratched his rough beard and held out his hand. “Haven’t seen you ‘round the dog park before, you new?” He asked. Hanzo shook his head as they shook hands. “No, my-” “Wait, are you Hanzo?’ Asked the man. Hanzo slowly nodded. “Yes, actually. How did-” He was cut off, again, as the man began laughing loudly. The man seemed to wipe a tear as he took another gulp of beer. “Oh, man! All the regulars here know about ya! Y/N never stops talking about you.” He said, somewhat endearingly.

Hanzo could feel his cheeks flush slightly, it was nice to hear that you talked about him to others. “Didn’t reckon you’d ever come here though.” The man grinned, slapping Hanzo on the back. “So tell me, Y/N somewhere ‘round here?” He asked, looking around the park. “No, they’re sick,” Hanzo informed. The man sighed. “Hate to hear that, they’re a good person.” He pointed to a large golden retriever that was playing with a small ball. “Now that’s my girl, Jelly.”  Hanzo eyed him warily. Was he serious? “You…You named your dog Jelly?” “Yessir.” The man said fondly. “Girl can’t get enough of PB&J sandwiches.’ Dear lord, Hanzo thought. Dog owners were weird.

“How has Beau been? Last I saw that boy was up to my thigh.” The man said with a laugh. “He’s been good, the vet said that he’s finally stopped growing,” Hanzo answered. As if on cue, Beau had dashed to where Hanzo and the man were sitting. “Beau!” The man shouted, immediately getting onto his knees to play with the big white dog. “How ya been, boy. They treatin you right?” He asked, scratching the pooch’s stomach. Beau barked happily. They were like that for awhile, till the man’s own dog came back to him. “I reckon me and Jelly start heading back.” The man stood up and stretched, grabbing his beer and patting Beau’s head.

“Is that beer?” Hanzo asked, hooking the leash to Beau’s collar. The man seemed to be shocked. “Beer? This is an alcohol free zone, this is apple cider.”

 The two men and their dogs wished each other farewell before heading out in the opposite direction. While Hanzo was leaving multiple people stopped to ask him if he was Hanzo, seeing as the recognized the dog but there was no Y/N with it. After one conversation too many, Hanzo made a dash for the exit, with Beau running happily by his side. He did not want to converse with anyone else. Hanzo didn’t stop running till he was home, and wiped his feet off on the rug. He got the leash off of Beau, who ran for his water bowl. Hanzo slipped on his indoor house shoes.

He didn’t hear anything from your room, and he assumed you were asleep. He filled up a small glass with water, and grabbed a few pills that he had picked up from the pharmacy to help with your sickness. He knocked gently on your door, still no noise. He opened the door slowly to see you sprawled over the bed and comforter. Hair sticking up in unusual places and drool coming out of your mouth.

Even at the odd sight, Hanzo could feel his heart swell with love and adoration. Hanzo placed the water and medicine on the bedside, then leaning over to kiss the top of your head. He heard you mumbled something incoherent, before turning on your side to hug a pillow. He smiled, and heard the scamper of excited dog feet. He made sure to close the door properly after him, leaving you alone in your room.