I truly hope
that we always
the courage that
will help us choose
love and peace
over anything else.
That no matter
how hard to us
the world can be,
our hearts will
still be able
Yesterday, you hold my hands mainly wrapped my body at your arms. It was cold, freezing I guess but fortunately you were so warm. You whispered me something unclear but something I can recognize so well. Something I’m badly dying to hear. Something my eardrums delight to hear. Something I will tell to my sister. Something nags me even at dreams.
Today, I asked you to say it again. Much to my dismay, it changed. It wasn’t something I’m expecting. It wasn’t something that can butters me in. Instead, it’s the words I fear to hear. It’s the nightmare that scares me out from slumber. Tears fall as it resonates to my soul, “I have loved you yesterday, but not until now and I’m sorry”. It shakens my breath and my heart died because of you, the human-cage this innocent-moving-stuff-in-my-chest picked.
PS. Will there be someone who can sew my heart and fixed it back? Or will it still him?
I love you, more then you know.“ he said as she was walking away.
“It took me leaving for you to admit it? It took me begging you to not forget about me, for you to finally love me? It took me crying every night because I hadn’t heard from you in months, for you to realize I was worthy of love? You don’t love me, you just want me to stay.
“Do you miss me?” she asked with tears threatening to spill.
“I miss your laugh, I miss how no matter what you’d always pay. I miss the way you hug me like you’re scared to let go. I miss your smell. I miss your constant cheering me on. I miss all our inside jokes. I miss how no matter how much I messed up, you always stayed.” he said with a sad smile.
With the tears running down her face she said, “ You know, I didn’t want to go. I wanted forever and longer with you. I love you so much, but there was no point in me staying for someone who didn’t really love me. You know this, right?”
“I know, darling.
(just because you miss me, doesnt mean you love me)
I asked you, “what was it that made you love me?”
You scratched the back of your head, “Well, you were… uh, you were nice. You’re pretty and, well, you’re smart and the way you laughed, it was contagious,” you smiled.
“Have I said that you were pretty? ‘Cause you’re beautiful especially when you smile, the way you looked at me was intoxicating, it was enough to make my knees weak,” and you looked up at me smiling, and so I felt I had to smile too but I couldn’t see if you were still smiling then ‘cause the tears made everything blurry.
So I asked “and what was it that made you love me, still?”
You opened your mouth but no words came out, and in your silence, I found my answer.
Me (JNH). If I’d known that you would hurt me I still would’ve chosen to love you. That’s love, dear.
Date someone who compliments the small things like a freckle or the turn of your nose.
Date someone who you can have great conversations with but also can have comfortable, happy silences with.
Dates someone who you can argue with but can still cuddle with afterwards.
Date someone who does small simple gestures just to make you smile.
Date someone can tease you about something but also love you completely for it.
Date someone who is with you on the best of days and the worst.
“There will come a time when you’ll feel so alone and you’ll wish for someone, anyone at all, to just come and pull you into a gentle embrace, caress your hair and tell you you are loved. Well, no one will come. You have to face the fact that no one will break into your house, rush to your bedroom and randomly hug you. And even if that does happen, let’s be honest, you’d probably call the cops on them.”