Long Post

Advice

(To the person who requested this: I am so sorry this took such a long time. I don’t know why I struggled with this so much. It’s been over a month—and like an idiot, I lost track on your username—but I hope you’re still following me and I hope you like it!)

While the Inquisitor is away to visit some Orlesian nobles, Cullen asks around Skyhold for romantic advice. (1507 words)


Solas

"And this ‘friend’ you’re asking for…" Solas arched an eyebrow as he glanced up from the artifact he’d been studying. "He has no idea to romance the woman on his own?" 
"I wouldn’t put it quite like that," Cullen said. "He has some ideas but he’s inexperienced in these matters and I, uh…" He cleared his throat. "I have no time for such things." 
"And you believe that I do?” 
Cullen bit his tongue, barely holding in the retort that Solas must have ample free time with all the sleeping he did. “You’re right. I’m sorry for disturbing your studies.” 
"Wait," Solas said with a sigh. "I would tell your friend that he should treat her respect and put her needs before his own—even if it costs him dearly to do so." 

Dorian

"Oh, my dear Commander, why can’t you just admit that you’ve fallen for our beloved Inquisitor?" 
"I-I never said this was about her." 
"Of course you didn’t. You didn’t have to say anything. Exchanging kisses in plain view of all your soldiers and every passerby—very subtle. And the way you reacted when she walked in on our game?” Dorian tutted softly. “Those lingering eyes, that pleased smile, the way you kept brushing your hand against hers.”
“You stayed to watch?”
“And why not? You two were the most entertaining thing around.” He smirked when Cullen’s blush hardened. “Something for the Inquisitor, let’s see… music and wine have always done wonders for me in the past.” His eyes lit up with his smirk. “Of course, it wasn’t always their hearts I was going after.”
Cullen stuttered, his face almost unbearably hot. “Yes. Well. I’ll take that under consideration.” Tugging at the neck of his armor, he hurried up the stairs with Dorian’s laugh trailing behind him. 

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CHARACTER MEMEHaruno Sakura (asked by nonpareilempire​)

HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER

Sakura is my ride-or-die girl.  She is my bias, my daughter, my favourite character, and were it not for her, I would never have stuck with Naruto in the first place.  Where do I even begin with her?  Sakura was a bright and beautiful girl coming into her genin team.  Too precocious for her own good.  Her mind was a vast ocean of knowledge in whose depths she was only too eager to drown.  And, as might anyone with a brain like hers, she thought that being intelligent was enough.  She was wrong.  The bloody truth of her profession hit her like a slap to the face.  Her head was full of theory but her hands were empty of praxis.  She watched as her teammates bled their knuckles raw, watched as their backs loomed taller and taller in the distance.  Unable to join them, unable to lift her own hands to decide her fate.  And she rejected it.  Rejected it with a desperation so fierce she would carry the weight of it for years to come.  She would not stand idly by and let her teammates disappear into the distance.  This was not a girl built for the footnotes of the story.  Sakura shed her girlhood with her long hair, a butterfly at last breaking free of her cocoon and unfurling its brilliant wings, entering the Forest of Death a child and coming out a warrior.  She worked herself to the bone, until at last she could level mountains, could make life flourish under her hands like a field of flowers.  Until she had poison in her blades and bones so light that, when she moved, you could barely graze her skin.  Until on the forehead that had once been her greatest insecurity bloomed a seal that, once fully released, rendered her something close to indestructible.  No divine blood thrums in her veins; no special powers have been gifted to her from birth.  And yet she is able to hold a beating heart in the palm of her hand and decide its fate, to crack open the earth until the echoes of her destruction ripple on and on into the forefront of legend.  Sakura is a titan of her own making.   

ALL THE PEOPLE I SHIP ROMANTICALLY WITH THIS CHARACTER

Sasuke, whom she loved enough to coat her hands with his blood if it meant he had a shot at salvation.  Ino, who saw her when no one else did and who loved her when she chose to walk away.  Kakashi, who never really did see her until those final, aching moments.

MY NON-ROMANTIC OTP FOR THIS CHARACTER

Also Ino, because they are the best friends you wish you had.  And Naruto, with whom she shared and fought for her dreams.   

MY UNPOPULAR OPINION ABOUT THIS CHARACTER

I’m not here for the rampant erasure of Sakura’s contributions to the manga.  It seems people are willing to pull fallacious argument after fallacious argument out of thin air to devalue what she has achieved.  Listen.  They’re full of shit.  That she went into battle against Sasori accompanied by Chiyo in no way lessens the show of raw strength, evasive ability, and tactical brilliance she personally made.  That her teammates were fucking deified in no way diminishes her own harrowing journey as a kunoichi.  That she can cry and be soft and love with her whole heart in no way makes her any less of a warrior nor any less of a woman.  Don’t ignore what she’s accomplished to further your infantile agenda.  You’re convincing nobody but yourself.

ONE THING I WISH HAD HAPPENED WITH THIS CHARACTER IN CANON

Frankly, Sakura deserved so much more just in general.  She was sidelined and neglected when she could have very well had more of her own arcs or have been given more time in the spotlight.  Instead, we had flimsy, redundant storylines and overwrought angst that was trying and failing desperately to be interesting.  She was just as much a member of Team 7 as Sasuke or Naruto or even Kakashi, and yet her author did not seek to afford her the same treatment he so lovingly lavished upon them.  I’m really not sure what it was about their penises that made them so much more compelling characters, but #okay.  Sakura, along with so many of the women in this franchise, was way too good for the text she was in.  

wow wait (FNAF THEORY) FNAF3 SPOILERS

wow

wow 

wow

LET’S BACK UP A SECOND

so so so so I just realized something

The phone guy died in FNAF 1 right?

From where was he calling?

Ok this is probably so wrong cause I don’t know what the boxes in the background are (probably change rooms idk) and I can’t find something that looks like a phone 

BUT ALSO analysing the map when you walk around its seems to be the map from FNAF 1 

SO WAS THE PHONE GUY CALLING US FROM THE SAME PLACE THE FOURTH NIGHT?

Hello, hello? Hey! Hey, wow, day 4. I knew you could do it.
Uh, hey, listen, I may not be around to send you a message tomorrow.
*banging sound* It’s-It’s been a bad night here for me. Um, I-I’m kinda glad that I recorded my messages for you *clears throat* uh, when I did.
Uh, hey, do me a favor. *bang bang* Maybe sometime, uh, you could check inside those suits in the back room? *bang bang* I’m gonna to try to hold out until someone checks. Maybe it won’t be so bad. *bang bang* Uh, I-I-I-I always wondered what was in all those empty heads back there. *chime plays*.
You know…*moan* oh, no - *noises followed by an animatronic screech and static*

BAD NIGHT HERE? I’m starting to believe he was with us, AND HE DISMANTLE THE ANIMATRONICS RIGHT BEFORE WE WENT TO WORK. HE TELLS US TO CHECK ON THE BACK ROOMS BECAUSE HE HAD THE DEAD CHILDREN OUTSIDE HIS DOOR (because of the banging sounds). He is glad he can talk to us because WE CAN FIND HIM AND HELP HIM.

Maybe it won’t be so bad.” HE MIGHT BE TALKING ABOUT FACING THE CHILDREN

"Uh, I-I-I-I always wondered what was in all those empty heads back there" HE WAS TRYING TO MAKE US CURIOUS. So we could investigate the restaurant and find the save rooms. HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DIE. 

AND MAYBE THE FIFTH NIGHT PHONE CALL WAS NOT FREDDY BUT THE PURPLE GUY INSIDE SPRINGTRAP STILL ASKING FOR HELP. 

WE COULDN’T CHECK THE BACK ROOM BECAUSE THE ANIMATRONICS WHERE TRYING TO KILL US AND IT COULD ALSO BE (well this is just a little detail) WHY THE GAME GETS HARDER BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT US TO FIND HIM  (<—- well this thought is just stupid but ok)  

(why didn’t we go on daylight? Well our work was at night and the room with all the heads where just not for everyone so Mike might have not be able to just say "hi just came for checking on that creppy back room!". Also If he did I believe he would have found nothing because we know the save rooms exists and only 5 children were murdered.)

And if the purple guy did got Mike curious he would have found nothing either because 

1)Night shift = animatronics 

2)No-one was suppossed to talk about the save rooms. The save rooms where not in the security camera. Only employees that worked with costumes knew they existed but where prohibited to talk about them.

I believe he did got curious and thats why he got fired 

So basic hauntingly theory is that~

MAYBE IN THE SECOND GAME (prequel) THE GHOST CHILDREN WERE LOOKING FOR THE PURPLE MAN. IN THE FIRST THEY ALREADY FOUND HIM (but he put those doors). THEN HE CHANGED SHIFT AND THEN HE DECIDED IT WAS ENOUGH. HE KILLED THOSE CHILDREN. YES. BUT ITS IMPLIED THAT PREVIOUS GUARDS HAVE DIED IN THAT JOB.(also he was probably haunted by all those animatronics since he has been the previous guard and of course kilelr) SO HE WENT AND TRIED TO DISMANTLE THE ANIMATRONICS. WRONG. HE DISMANTLE THE ANIMATRONICS AND FREE THEIR SOULS. AND THAT’S WHEN HE CALL US THE FOURTH NIGHT. THE GHOST WHERE OUTSIDE THAT ROOM (wich I believe the purple guy by working there found a flaw to the wall so he could hide there probably to stay after the restaurant closed that night?) 

AND FINALLY THE FIRST KID CAME FOR REVENGE (wich I don’t know. Who is this kid anymore? puppet? Golden Freddy? this minigame got me confused https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1hILG31whQ ) 

SO THIS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5y79CZeBxo (the minigame)  happend the purple guy got trapped inside Springtrap and the dead children went back to their animatronics haunting us so we couldn’t find the purple guy’s body. Why? So he could suffer like them. Trapped. Forgotten. Never found. And thanks to the FNAF3 minigames I can prove that no animatronic was able to cross that wall where purple Freddy lead them. (again purple man probably knew a flaw in that fake wall)

So the third game? Well the owners of the new haunted Freddy’s found Springtrap. And he woke up on another night but he was no longer trapped in a room. He could walk freely and he did. Why does he attack us? Simple. Mike never came for him. Yes he didn’t explicitly ask for help but he hoped that Mike was going to at least find his body. Not wonder on a room by him self 30 years, he went nuts. Also it would be because he blames that job. Because of that job he develop pedophilia and willing to kill maybe? Because of that job he ended up killing one, then 4 children. Because of that job he ended up in this horrible situation. So he might have develope hate for guards as well. And hate for the children that’s why he follows the audio’s in FNAF3. 

Well I guess that’s it.

I KNOW there is like a 10000 flaws in this theory like shadowy bonnie in FNAF2 that is probably Springtrap. But hey I’m going to say that is a cameo for FNAF3.

Also trailer that says he has always been there?

FNAF1 (phone guy)

FNAF2 (phone guy)

FNAF3 (phone guy as Springtrap)

Well that is really it xD

Sorry for bad spelling and mayor flaws in this theory.

which amis should you fight

amis you can and should fight:

combeferre: !!! okay, first of all - the guy’s a living arsenal. Like, seriously. he says he’s a pacifist, but why would he have so many guns. he’s totally ready to fight, so fight him. if you dare. go for it! I mean, guy can be pretty cold when it comes to verbal blows, so you can try punching him in return. but he’ll punch back, and then help you up afterwards. then you’ll feel bad. so yeah. go for it, but prepared to cry about it afterwards.

bahorel: it’s been said before, and it’s true: bahorel would fight himself if he could. bahorel flirts with his fists, and you want him to flirt with you, because he’s a great guy. and he’s also super hot, it’s a fact. he knows what he’s doing, he has experience, you’ll both enjoy it. go ahead, fight bahorel. it’ll be a hoot, I promise.

grantaire: he knows so many techniques, but he’s probably too drunk to use them. in fact he’s probably sleeping right at this moment. but he’s also an ass - a loveable ass, but still an ass. he’s definitely looking for a fight, so give it to him. kick his ass. then buy him a drink. repeat as many times as you want, he won’t mind.

amis you can theoretically fight but it would be a terrible idea:

feuilly: guy doesn’t look like much, but he’s had to fight to survive his entire life. he won’t be afraid to punch you back. or more like kick you, because he wouldn’t want to hurt his hands, it’s his livelyhood after all. and kicks hurt more. ow. ow. ow. then afterwards he’d probably lecture you about international politics, because that’s what he does, you can’t escape it. so yeah, you can fight him, but neither of you would like it very much. just ask him about poland or italy instead, it’ll save precious time and it’ll make him happy and you want feuilly to be happy. everyone does.

bossuet: bossuet’s also had a tough time surviving it all, but he just. doesn’t fight. that’s not what bossuet does. I mean if you hurt his friends he might fight you, but he won’t go far. he’s like the most cheerfully unfortunate guy around, he’s so used to getting his ass kicked that no matter what you do to him it won’t bother him. it’s no use. don’t fight bossuet.

joly: you could probably take him down, but do not fight joly. just don’t. first of all, there’s no use in fighting joly. like, what has joly done to you? coughed on you? come on, man. joly just wants to talk about cats and laugh and drink and be merry. seriously, he’s hilarious. you don’t want to fight him. nobody does. just hang out with him instead. it’s much more rewarding.

amis you just shouldn’t fight. don’t do it: 

enjolras: not a good idea. like, not at all. first of all - why would you want to fight a flower? the national guard sure didn’t, and he had to. also, enjolras fought on a barricade for like, an entire night and all of his friends died like super violent ways and he was still unharmed? woa. clearly there’s some kind of magic there. I think you might be blinded by his hair. like, there’s probably a secret trick to fighting him, but I suggest you don’t attempt until you’re absolutely sure you can do it. either way, prepare to cry, even if you’re about to deliver the final blow. happens every time. so what’s the use? you know what, just don’t fight enjolras. even hanging upside down from a window he’ll have better hair than you.

courfeyrac: WHY WOULD YOU FIGHT COURFEYRAC. Courfeyrac is sunshine and rainbows and puppies. no one wants to fight him, and you don’t either. trust me. he brings a sword-cane to the barricade, he’s so not ready to fight. he might set you on fire though? woa. plus, if you harm a hair on his head the rest of the amis will be on your ass in a sec and it will not end well. don’t fight courfeyrac. you don’t really want to and you will just hurt a lot.

jean prouvaire: okay, like, theorically, you can probably fight him. or you think you can. but he’s just so confusing? he loves flowers and music and poetry and song but he honestly could probably kick your ass in two moves.  and then smile about it afterwards. JEAN PROUVAIRE IS NOT AFRAID OFANYTHING, and that includes you. stone. cold. and he’s so young, so like. he’s still in training. he’ll just get stronger. don’t fight him. don’t bother him - just. let him be.