Foodfight! is quite possibly the worst movie ever animated. You should check it out.

Charlie Sheen is Dex Dogtective, and his horrifying cat/human hybrid girlfriend, Sunshine (Hillary Duff), has been taken away. Hey, “Don’t take my sunshine away.” It’s like that song. That’s pretty funny, right? Apparently somebody thought so, because that same hilarious reference is made about eight more times.

You remember in Toy Story how the toys would come to life when the humans weren’t around? Okay, now imagine that, except it’s nothing like that, and it’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen. I guess the movie takes place in a grocery store, except when people aren’t around, the store looks like a city. Not a city where the buildings are made of cereal boxes or something, just a city where they same boxy CG buildings and billboards are copied and pasted 50 times each. Some of the characters are famous mascots like Mr. Clean, Vlasic the Stock, and that Hawaiian Punch guy, but mostly they’re just three or four dead-eyed CG people, copied and pasted 50 times, all running the same 1/2 second animation loop in unison with one another.

A flailing Christopher Lloyd-thing comes into the store in the real world to stomp on a bag of Pirate’s Booty or something and shout at the manager that he’s going to start carrying Brand X laundry detergent. In the fantasy world, this means that Lady X (Eva Longoria) is a Nazi and her Brand X Nazi troops goosestep through the streets capturing all the Jewish mascots,* and the only way to stop her is for the flailing Wayne Brady squirrel** to do a loop-da-loop in his plane for some reason, I think?

Did I say worst? I meant best. This is the best movie. Watch out, Pixar.

*Not kidding.

**How to make a Foodfight! character: Flailing + Celebrity voice + species. Here are real examples from the movie that I promise I’m not making up:
Flailing Harvey Fierstein weasal
Flailing Chris Kattan Kid Cuisine penguin
Flailing Jerry Stiller Nazi
Flailing Cloris Leachman Nazi

muggle music ;; a mix for dancing atop four poster beds past curfew, smoking cigarettes in the boys dormitory, and a group of boys with a taste for trouble and a love of rock ‘n roll {listen}

i. hello, i love you - the doors ii. i wanna be sedated - ramones iii. run like hell - pink floyd iv. killer queen - queen v. happy - rolling stones vi. strange ways - kiss vii. rebel rebel - david bowie viii. black dog - led zeppelin ix. anarchy in the uk - the sex pistols x. baba o’riley - the who

“Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80’s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.”


cougar town brings scurbs cast back together for one short hilarious clip

  • Electricone
  • Lloyd Miller & The Heliocentrics

Thursday: magical instruments 

Eastern music that’s where, Lloyd Miller, ethno-musicologist, multi-instrumentist enigma, cook his ancient and temperamental jazz music. Digging into experimental warm sounds, the band The Heliocentrics are following their quest. Today’s pick is a chunk of the common path of the man and the band.

Lloyd Miller preserves and plays many eastern music, those with magic instruments, that humanity has blown, beat with sticks, strumed with the fingers or with a bow for centuries.

This track, Electricone, from LP entitled Lloyd Miller & the Heliocentrics, is an trip, a walk starting by a cinematic committed double-bass, a flute screams out, a bow scars a mystic atmosphere close to Alice Coltrane's mood… Slight contributions from metal strips, strings, drums complete to overload the smoky room…



Jeudi : instruments magiques

C’est dans les musiques orientales que Lloyd Miller, ethno-musicologist, enigme multi-instrumentiste, fait mariner son jazz ancien et caractériel. C’est dans la soif d’expériences sonores que le groupe The Heliocentrics poursuivent leur quête. Le titre d’aujourd’hui est un bout du chemin commun de ces deux imaginaires.

Lloyd Miller, vit et fait vivre des musiques traditionnelles d’orient, aux instruments magiques qu’on souflle, gratte de la main ou de l’archet depuis des millénaires.

Ce titre, Electricone, extrait de l’album simplement intitulé Lloyd Miller & the Heliocentrics, est une incursion, une marche qui commence par une contre-basse cinematique déterminée, une flûte vient hurler, un archet cisaille l’ambiance d’une mystique proche d’Alice Coltrane…  Par touches les interventions de lamelles, cordes, tambours finissent d’enfumer la pièce.