“At some point in the mid-‘80s, I heard a song of mine on the radio and for the first time, I felt that something really important had happened. Still, from time to time I listen to songs that I composed and recorded in the '80s on the radio, and I to say myself "Wow, incredible, there I am” but I was still just a teenager who just wanted to play the guitar.“
Since Tumblr decided today is Asexual Pride day, I thought I’d talk for a bit about my ace identity.
I knew there was something about me that made me different from other people in my life. I never really “got” our society’s obsession with sex. Other guys in my class would talk about watching porn and wanting to see girls naked, and movies and TV shows make sex look like the most fulfilling thing in a man’s life. But I just didn’t understand what the big deal was about. I thought it was because I was being a good little Catholic boy. Look at me, saving myself for marriage, God must be so proud of me. I’m still against having extramarital and premarital sex, but I think that’s only part of what was going on here.
Fast forward to when I have a smart phone and Internet access. I’m scrolling around the ruiner of lives ™, TV Tropes, when I stumble across a page titled “Asexuality”. I learn that there are people who just don’t feel sexual attraction to others. I keep reading, and it just kinda resonates with me. I talked about it with my friends, and it turns out they noticed how I never showed an interest in sex and very rarely had crushes on anyone, guys or girls. I did some more research on asexuality, and again, a lot of what people said about it really resonated with me. So one day, it just kinda hit me like, “oh shit, I’m ace”.
I only started identifying as ace a few months ago, and I’m still figuring things out. I know that I fall somewhere on the ace spectrum, and I still think there’s a possibility that I’m gray asexual or demisexual. But for now, I identify as ace. I am not, however, aromantic. I identify as panromantic. Despite my disinterest in sex, I am a complete sucker for sappy romantic stuff. I’d live to find someone to fall in love with, get married, and have children, either my own biological children or adopted children.
I firmly believe that aspecs should be considered LGBTQ+. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, and acephobia is real and harmful. Even cisgender heteroromantic asexuals have to deal with discrimination and erasure. I want more positive asexual representation in media. That way, young people will start to realize that they are ace sooner, and society will stop seeing asexuality as either a myth or a mental disorder.
Because I started identifying as ace recently, I haven’t had to deal with acephobia on a personal level. Even before I found out what asexuality was, I never thought that I was “broken”. The people who know I am ace have been nothing but supportive and accepting so far. That could change in the future however. Heck, I’m posting this on Tumblr. I could very well experience acephobia firsthand within the next hour. Even so, I’m glad that I identify as ace now. I know who I am and I’m proud of that.
so let’s all just take a moment to think about robert wrapping one of those giant paws of his around aaron’s dick. jacking it in quick twists of his wrist, thumb rubbing up the underside on every upstroke, bit of friction just under the head because he knows aaron, knows that’ll make his eyes roll, back arching, chest heaving.
he can’t take his eyes off him. his beautiful car crash of a husband, taken completely to pieces, melted across the sheets and whimpering, desperate to come.
halffizzbin: listen somehow and I’m not saying this is an objectively correct opinion but I find Geno to be actually handsome and I DON’T WANT TO BE CRUDE but there are not adjectives in our language for how hard I would hit that
notenoughgatorade: hahahahha, what we find attractive is up to us right?? he’s not my type but you go and you hit like you’re a boxer and it’s your last fight and you want to go out in style and preserve your dignity and remember the golden days
that’s how you hit malkin
halffizzbin: I wanna hit it like…. like I’m playing blackjack and I already have 19 but I’m high and reckless on adrenaline and I’ve got nothing to lose so I hit it anyway, for the hell of it, because I WANT TO LIVE
that’s another way I’d hit it
notenoughgatorade: you want to hit it like you’ve been in jail, planning your perfect escape, and somehow he’s between you and the exit, that’s how hard you want to hit it
halffizzbin: I wanna hit it like there’s only a tiny bit of ketchup left in the bottle, and I have a plate of hot fries and I need that ketchup more than I’ve ever needed anything. I wanna hit it as hard as I’d hit the bottom of that bottle
Just curious. What are good books to read off of for the Arthurian Legends?
It depends on what you want to read. I personally dislike the kind of “historical versions” that strip the magic out of what has always been a story with magical and supernatural elements. To that end, I despise Marion Zimmer Bradley’s Avalon novels. (They’re also pretty badly written, but I could overlook that if literally everything in the story didn’t aggravate me.)
Another question is whether you want the Welsh/British King Arthur or the French/Continental King Arthur. Lancelot and all his attendant drama is a French addition, so if that whole love triangle annoys you, avoid basically everything from Chretien de Troyes onward. The Mabinogion is basically the go-to for the Welsh stories, which are the oldest versions really accessible anyway. The Welsh Triads reference Arthur and his knights, but they aren’t really a coherent narrative. I’m of the opinion that everyone should read either Malory’s Le Morte d'Arthur or TH White’s Once and Future King (which is based on Le Morte, so they’re basically the same story). They’re good versions to be familiar with as a sort of basis of comparison for other versions, even though they feature Lancelot-Incapable-of-Keeping-Promises and Guinevere-the-Ruiner-of-Lives.
As for fictional representations … I read a book called (I think) I, Mordred when I was in middle school, and I remember enjoying it. I really, really love Susan Cooper's Dark is Rising series.
If you want scholarly sources to read about the legends, I’d advise ignoring John and Caitlin Matthews’ writings. I’ve only read one of their books – Ladies of the Lake – but it was so badly researched and poorly written that I have yet to force myself through a second. I can’t support anyone reading their books without first having at least a solid grounding in the legends and the Welsh and British cultures in which they developed. On the other hand, Jessie Weston's From Ritual to Romance is a worthwhile read. It’s a little dated in places, especially because it was such a seminal work that a lot of its ideas have become commonplace in literary criticism and discussions of archetypes. Keep its copyright date in mind, but otherwise, it’s very valuable. It was also one of the major influences on Eliot’s Waste Land, which is pretty awesome.
That’s what I’ve got off the top of my head. There are more that I’ve read, but for an overview, this is what my advice would be.
Tis I, Destroyer of Dreams, Killer of Grades, Ruiner of Lives. Instigator of Many Groundings and Friend of Angry Parents.
Yes Child. Yes, storm out of the room after demanding your grades and getting the response that grades will be in when I put them in because I’ve been busting my ass catching up from being sick last week.
Yes, huff and storm out. The grades I have to put in the grade book will not save you. Tell me, oh Angsty Teen, how this ONE, SHINY, SAVIOR GRADE will make up for your pathetic effort this unit? After weeks of you pissing time away in class paling around with your bros? You, entitled, rude brat, have sent your Shitty Paper to o the lowest circle of the endless Grading Hell. Sit and stew all weekend until I update your grade at the last moment.
Tis I, Destroyer of Dreams, Killer of Grades, Ruiner of Lives. Instigator of Many Groundings and Friend of Angry Parents. And I shall revel in your disenrollment from the Pre-AP class. Tis I, and today Ms. B stands for Ms. Bitch.