<b><p></b> <b>Draco:</b> *finally manages to get the baby to actually keep the food in his mouth and eat it*<p/><b>Draco:</b> Well done, little lad! Daddy's so proud of you! *feeds him another spoon*<p/><b>You:</b> *comes in* Hey you two!<p/><b>Draco:</b> *turns around* Hey my love! Look at this, I'm the BEST FEEDER in the world!<p/><b>Baby:</b> *spits out food*<p/><b>Draco:</b> HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS! I TRUSTED YOU! BUT AS SOON AS I TURN MY BACK ON YOU YOU ABANDON EVERYTHING I TAUGHT YOU<p/><b>You:</b> Draco<p/><b>You:</b> Draco that is a BABY<p/><b>Draco:</b> ...UNTRUSTWORTHY LITTLE TRAITOR<p/></p><p/></p>
My mother tells me
that when I meet someone I like,
I have to ask them three questions:
1. what are you afraid of?
2. do you like dogs?
3. what do you do when it rains?
Of those three, she says the first one is the most important.
“They gotta be scared of something, baby. Everybody is. If they aren’t afraid of anything, then they don’t believe in anything, either.”I asked you what you were afraid of.
“spiders, mostly. being alone. little children, like, the ones who just learned how to push a kid over on the playground. oh and space. holy shit, space.”
I asked you if you liked dogs.
“I have three.”
I asked you what you do when it rains.
“sleep, mostly. sometimes I sit at the window and watch the rain droplets race. I make a shelter out of plastic in my backyard for all the stray animals; leave them food and a place to sleep.”
he smiled like he knew.
like his mom told him the same
“how about you?”
I’m scared of everything.
of the hole in the o-zone layer,
of the lady next door who never
smiles at her dog,
and especially of all the secrets
the government must be breaking
it’s back trying to keep from us.
I love dogs so much, you have no idea.
I sleep when it rains.
I want to tell everyone I love them.
I want to find every stray animal and bring them home.
I want to wake up in your hair
and make you shitty coffee
and kiss your neck
and draw silly stick figures of us.
I never want to ask anyone else
So my little sister. She’s 2. But she’s kind of freaking me out because she is actually way ahead intellectually? Like, I know people say their kids are so super smart, but this child is 2 and speaks in 5-9 word sentences, uses contractions and gerunds properly, has incredible spatial awareness, amazing memory recall, counts up to 30, AND knows her ABC’s. (That’s really, really advanced. She’s intellectually on about a 4 or 5 year old level.)
So I’m freaking out. In a good way, of course, but it’s a little weird. They’re in town for graduation, so we got to hang out a lot today, and let me tell ya, it was a blast, if freaky. Here are some conversations and moments we had today. Keep in mind that this child is 2 years old, barely past my knee, and is all of about 27 lbs, but acts like a tiny grown up.
“I like cream cheese, too.” She didn’t. I gave her some, she went “OH NO” and wiped out her entire mouth with a napkin going “oh. oh. oh.”
“I’m going to get another pillow, okay?” She then proceeded to get said pillow out of the cabinet where we’d put them hours earlier while she wasn’t paying attention. Like, HOW?
(about some toys) “I get the bunnies, and the moose, too. They go to bed now. Night night! Sweet dreams!” She put those toys to bed and woke them up again at least 35 times today.
Me: “I’m back!” Her: “I’m so glad!”
*heater kicks on* Her: *stops mid-sentence* “What is that sound?”
“Where is that flower gone?”
*of her baby brother* “That’s my baby. His name is ‘Bashin.” (his name is Sebastian)
“Oooh, spaghetti and meatballs! My favorite! So delicious!” She then refused to eat it and instead said “Ew! That’s disgusting.” I asked her if she wanted to take just a few more bites and she said. “Oh, no thanks.”
*went to the art museum* “What’s that picture? And same with that picture?”
*leaving tonight* “Good night, friends! Good night, kids! Good night, people!!”
She flopped down on the floor and said “I’m sleeping!”, pulled a blanket over her head and loudly pretended to snore. It was a really good fake snore, too.
“I need a beverage.” I kid you not. My father accidentally taught her the word beverage and she uses it appropriately whenever she doesn’t care what kind of drink it is.
She was coloring with markers and stopped dead in her tracks the moment it got on her hands and asked for a napkin. This kid loves being clean. Also she’d never used a marker before, but after watching my husband do it ONCE, she figured out how to take the caps off, put them on the other end, and re-cap it later.
She was helping me crack eggs for breakfast, but squeezed one too hard and crushed it like the Hulk, and it splooshed in her hair.
She recounted a recent phone call in startlingly clear detail. And yet she cannot keep my name straight. She’s called me by both my sister’s names and my husband’s name, but cannot remember which one I am. Yet she told me all about the phone call she made to our sister in VA (which was apparently several weeks ago?). I’m not upset, just confused as well as impressed.
She sat on my husband’s face just cuz she liked hearing his muffled screams.
Insists we do This Little Piggy in English on the left foot, and Spanish on the right.
Wanted us to sing head-shoulders-knees-toes with her, and the second we started doing it, she refused to move and just stared at us like we were idiots.
Played hide and seek by standing in the middle of the room counting even when it was her turn to hide.
Played hide and seek by finding us and going, “I SCARED YOU!!”
Stared blankly into my eyes and did a forward-facing trust fall into my arms. I barely caught her before she smacked face-first into my sternum, and then she giggled and shouted “I GOT YOU!!” She did this at least 3 times, and my heart stopped each time. She really did get me.
I still can’t get over the phrase “I need a beverage” coming out of a tiny tiny person.
I’ll see if I can get some pictures or videos up tomorrow. But man, I’m having a blast with this girl, even if she hated my spaghetti.
So I started teaching little 1 year-olds at my parents’ church bc they were understaffed and there’s a lil boy who loved to play in the cars on the playground and I jokingly said the mbmbam “car-boy boy-car” line and he just kept running around the playground yelling “CHILLADELPHIA !!!!” and I’m ??? so proud rn