Lite-beer

10 responses to the Phrase “Man up”

1: F*ck you
2: If you want to question my masculinity like a schoolyard circle of curses, like a swordfight with lightsabers save your breath. Because contrary to what you may believe, not every problem can be fixed by “growing a pair”. You cannot arm-wrestle you way out of chemical depression. The CEO off the company that just laid you off does not care how much you bench.
And I promise, there is no Lite Beer in the universe full-bodied enough to make you love yourself.
3: Man up? Oh, that’s that new superhero right? Mild-mannered supplement salesman Mark Manstrong says the words “MAN UP” and then transforms into THE FIVE O'CLOCK SHADOW; the massively-muscled, deep-voiced, leather-duster-wearing super-man who defends the world from… I don’t know, feelings.
4: Of course, why fight to remove our chains when we can simply compare their lengths? Why step outside the box when the box has badass flames decals on it?
We men are cigarettes: dangerous, and …poisonous, and stupid
5: You ever notice how nobody ever says “woman up”? They just imply it.
Because woman, and the women’s movement, figured out a long time ago that being explicitly ordered around by commercials, magazines and music is dehumanizing. When will men figure that out?
6: The phrase “man up” suggests that competence and perseverance are uniquely masculine traits. That woman - Not to mention any man that doesn’t eat steak, drive a big pick-up truck and have lots of sex with women - are nothing more than background characters, comic relief, props. More than anything, though, it suggests that to be yourself, whether you wear skinny jeans, rock a bit of eyeliner, drink another brand of beer, or write poetry - will cost you
7: How many boys have to kill themselves before this country acknowledges the problem? How many women have to be assaulted? How many trans people have to be murdered? We teach boys how to wear the skin of a man, but we also teach them how to raise that skin like a flag and draw blood for it.
8: Boy babies get blue socks. Girl babies get pink socks. What about purple? What about green? What about orange, yellow, chartreuse, cerulean, black, tie-dyed, buffalo plaid, rainbow?
9: I want to be free to express myself. Man up. I want to have a meaningful, emotional relationship with my brother. Man up.
I want to be weak sometimes. Man up.
I want to be strong in a way that isn’t about physical power or dominance. Man up.
I want to talk to my dad about something else than sports or economics. Man up
I want to be who I am. Man up
10: no

—  poetic-pianist, Guante
Pro Ana Weight Loss Tips and Tricks

1. Drink one glass of water every hour. It will make you feel full.
2. Drink ice cold water. Your body will burn calories just getting the water to a normal temperature to digest. Also it is great for your complexion.
3. Drink 3 cups of green tea daily. It will help boost your metabolism, plus its anti-oxidants make your skin look great.
4. Take vitamins daily. Do not take vitamins on an empty stomache, otherwise they have nothing to catalyze with.
5. Eat ice or gum when hungry. This will make your body think it had food without the calories.
6. Do aerobics until you want to faint.
7. Eat spicy foods. They raise your metabolism.
8. Take cold showers because your body will burn calories to heat you back up.
9. DON’T take laxatives. They don’t help you to lose weight.
10. DON’T use diruretics. They only dehydrate you.
11. Brush your teeth constantly so you won’t be tempted to eat afterwards.
12. Weat a rubberband around your wrist. Snap it when you want to eat.
13. Clean something gross (toilet, litter box, boyfriend’s closet) when you want to eat. You will not want to eat after cleaning a litter box.
14. Keep your hair in good condition so no one will suspect anything.
15. Get a job so you’ll have to work through meal times.
16. Exercise twice the amount of calories eaten.
17. Use smaller plates and utensils so it seems like you ate more.
18. Chew eat bite of food thoroughly and then take a sip of water between bites. You will feel full quicker and will not eat as much.
19. Say you are going to eat at a friend’s house and instead go for a walk. You will be burning calories instead of taking them in.
20. Buy clothes that you can’t fit into and hang them wear you can see them. This will motivate you to lose weight to fit into them.
21. Sleep at least six hours a day. If you get less than six this can lower your metabolism by 15%.
22. If you start to feel hungry do situps or punch yourself in the stomach. You will not feel hungry anymore.
23. Pamper yourself! Give yourself a facial, paint your nails, anything to make you feel pretty.
24. Make yourself a snack, but instead of eating it throw it away. Leave the dirty dishes whereyour parents can find them. They will think you ate.
25. Prepare a list of excuses as to why you can’t eat - You’re sick, you’re a vegetarian, allergic, etc. You’d be amazed at how many good excuses there are.
26. Get out of your house! If you’re not sitting around then people can’t start shit with you about not eating.
27. Join a pro-ana group or start your own website. Anything that will keep you motivated.
28. Make an ANA scrapbook with pics of skinny models. Right down all the reasons you want to lose weight. Keep track of everything you eat. Look at it daily for thinsperation.
29. Keep good posture, burns 10% more calories when you sit up straight.
30. Instead of food, buy something else, a new shirt, flowers, jewelrey etc.
31. Make a list of all the “bad” foods that you crave and tend to binge on. Each day, pick one to take out of your diet that you absolutely, no matter what, cannot eat again. Take one off the list each day until there are no more bad foods you can have.
32. Avoid alcohol! A shot of liquor has 100-120 calories, a glass of wine has 80 calories, a lite beer has 110-120 calories, and a regular beer has 140-170 calories.
33. Never eat anything bigger than about a cup, your stomach will expand and then you’ll get hungry more.
34. Eat in front of a mirror naked. See how much you can eat then!
35. The smell of coffee is suppose to supress appetite.
36. Wear perfectly applied lip gloss. It makes you more aware of what’s going in your mouth. Also, flavored ones help with cravings.
37. Have 6 small meals a day. Take 2 apples, and split them so you can make 6 meals out of them. That way your body will be tricked into thinking it’s eating more.
38. Low calorie hot chocolate curbs chocolate cravings, and makes you feel full.
39. Take anti-heartburn pills if you’re really hungry. They nuetralize the acid that builds and makes you hungry.
40. Take a picture of yourself wearing a bathing suit or something equally revealing, look at it when you want to eat.
41. It takes 20 minutes for the brain to realize the stomach is full.
42. When you get hunger pains curl into a ball, it makes them go away.
43. If you’re a smoker and hungry, light up a cigarette. It curbs your appetite.
44. Eat lots of fiber. It makes you feel full and takes fat with it out of your body. The natural cleansing helps improve both your energy level and overall feeling of wellness.
45. Before you dig into that cake, bag of chips, candy, or whatever, take a deep breath and count to 100. Usually by the time you get to 100 you will have convinced yourself that you don’t really want it.
46. When you’re hungry chug 2 glasses (or how many you need) of straight water. It’ll make you so full and nauseous you will have completely lost your appetite.
47. Celery actually burns calories. Every hour eat a stalk of it. Not only will it fill you up, but it will also get your metabolism kickin’.
48. Weigh yourslef before and after every time you eat. Not only will it eliminate unnecessary eating, but it will make you want to eat less when you see the numbers creep up.
49. Read the nutritional information. Remember, fat-free does not mean calorie-free. Also keep an eye on fiber content. Get as much fiber into your diet as you can, while cutting fat and calories.
50. Don’t eat a lot at once. Spread your food throughout the day. This will help to avoid binging and keep your metabolism going.
51. If you like to drink alcohol, you’ll like this. Make a rule: You can only drink every time you lose 2lbs. So, if you lose 4lbs a week, you can drink Friday and Saturday night. However, if you only lose 2lbs a week, you only get to drink one night.
52. Do not eat in front of the computer or TV. This distracts you from recognizing you’re full.
53. Save the money you would have spent on that meal in a jar. Save it in a bottle instead and watch it grow.
54. Stay away from Slim-fast and other so-called “healthy” candy bars and shakes… one look at the nutition facts will tell you why. With all the carbs and excess calories you may as well go eat a freakin pie or something. Not to mention the rediculous prices… save yourself the money, and the calories.
55. Instead of buying food, buy yourself flowers. Food is depressing, but flowers make you happy.
56. When having cravings drink a couple glasses of water with slices of lemons and count to 100 and it should go away.
57. Eating 100 cals 4 times a day is better than eating a 400 cal meal.
58. An occasional binge doesn’t hurt, in fact it’s quite beneficial if you have reached a plateau (stopped losing weight). Your body will think you have stopped starving yourself, and you will drop at least a pound overnight! Just don’t binge too regularly!
59. Someone told me that if you take a pure cold bath for 15-30 min and lower your body temp, your body burns around 200 cals for every degree it has to raise itself to reach a normal body temperture. This person tried it, a 30 min bath lowered their temp about 3-4 degrees

MOVIE SENTENCE STARTERS: 80S EDITION

below are a collection of quotes from some of my favorite 80s movies.

ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING

“I’ll make it very clear: you slip me the cash, and I’ll slip you the weiner.”
“Don’t fuck with the babysitter.”
“Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.”
“Get out of my house!”
“I can only dream about having somebody like her as a girlfriend, but you’ve got her, and you treat her like this?”
“Don’t waste your time, half pint. Her legs are locked together at the knee.”
“I’d love to hit you. I’d love to pound on your face!”
“You’re so slimy, I won’t sink to your level.”
“If you give me any grief I swear to God I’ll kill you. Dead, murdered, stabbed.”
“Get in the car and run him over.”
“How could a righteous babe like you be lonely?”
“That’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever said to me.”
“My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch?”
“Tonight is going to be the greatest night of your life.”
“I am not losing anything, I am still in control here! Got it?”
“I’m trying to get a date, you’re cramping my style!”
“Girls like you come along once in a lifetime.”
“And you’re just a girl in love with an asshole.”
“I got a little banged up.”

BACK TO THE FUTURE

“Great Scott!”
“Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
“This is heavy.”
“Why do you keep calling me Calvin?”
“It’s written all over your underwear.”
“Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!”
“I finally invent something that works!”
“Maybe you were adopted.”
“I guess you aren’t ready for that yet.”
“You look so familiar to me. Do I know your mother?”
“Are you sure about this storm?”
“Since when can weathermen predict the weather, let alone the future?”
“You’ve really made a difference in my life. You’ve given me something to shoot for.”
“I’m really gonna miss you.”
“Even if your intentions are good, it can backfire drastically!”
“If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.”
“What the hell is a gigawatt?”
“It’s not like I’ve never parked before.”
“You seem so nervous. Is something wrong?”
“I swiped it from the old lady’s liquor cabinet.”
“If you let people walk over you now, they’ll be walking over you for the rest of your life.”
“I figured, what the hell?”
“Since you’re new here, I’m gonna cut you a break, today.”
“Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here?”
“I thought I told you never to come in here.”
“I’m your density.”
“I’ve never picked a fight in my entire life.”
“I can’t keep up of all of your boyfriends!”
“History is gonna change.”
“One rejection isn’t the end of the world.”
“What are you looking at, butthead?”
“I’m gonna get that son of a bitch.”
“Say hi to your mom for me.”
“Where are my pants?”
“I’ve never seen purple underwear before!”
“I have your car towed all the way to your house and all you got for me is lite beer?”
“You really think I ought to swear?”

PRETTY IN PINK

“We don’t have a candy machine in the boy’s room!”
“I’m not particularly concerned with whether or not you like me.”
“I can’t believe you’re saying this.”
“She thinks you’re shit. And deep down, you know she’s right.”
“It’s called a sense of humor - you should get one - they’re nice.”
“C'mon, I’m talking about more than just sex here.”
“You know, I’ve been out with a lot of girls at this school. I don’t see what makes you so different.”
“I have taste.”
“You’re a bitch”
“I’m off like a dirty shirt.”
“I just want them to know that they didn’t break me.”
“You don’t have the guts to tell me the truth.”
“That’s a major appliance, that’s not a name!”
“You know what an older women does for me?”
“May I admire you?”
“Drinking and driving don’t mix – that’s why I ride a bike.”
“Why don’t you just… nail her, and get it over with?”
“Why are you getting involved?”
“I’m getting really bored with this conversation, all right?”
“If you want your piece of low-grade ass, fine.”
“Does he have… strong lips?”
“This is a really volcanic ensemble you’re wearing, it’s really marvelous!”
“I believed in you. I just didn’t believe in me.”
“Good Morning! Welcome to another day of higher education!”
“This is an incredibly romantic moment, and you’re ruining it for me!”
“Love’s a bitch.”
“Do you hear yourself? Do you hear the same asshole shit I hear?”
“What, do I have to spell it out for you?”
“Nobody appreciates your sense of humor.”
“Why don’t you go to take a shower, you look like shit.”

THE BREAKFAST CLUB

“We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.”
“I’ll do anything sexual. I don’t need a million dollars to do it either.”
“I’m a nymphomaniac.”
“I’m not going to discuss my private life with total strangers.”
“If you say you haven’t, you’re a prude. If you say you have you’re a slut. It’s a trap.”
“You’re a tease and you know it.”
“Why don’t you just answer the question?”
“What do you need a fake I.D. for?”
“You wanna come over sometime?”
“Eat my shorts.”
“I’m doing society a favor.”
“You really think I give a shit?”
“Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?”
“Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Chicks cannot hold their smoke, dat’s what it is.”
“When you grow up, your heart dies.”
“I have a really low tolerance for dehydration.”
“I could disappear forever and it wouldn’t make any difference.”
“I might as well not even exist at this school, remember?”
“You’re so pathetic.”
“Don’t you ever compare yourself to me.”
“Do you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.”
“You won’t accept a guy’s tongue in your mouth, and you’re going to eat that?”
“I’m telling the truth, that makes me a bitch?”
“You have problems.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“You’re kind of sexy when you’re angry.”
“Would you mind telling me how you know all this about me?”
“I don’t think either one of them gives a shit about me. It’s like they use me just to get back at each other.”
“Being bad feels pretty good, huh?”
“You ask me one more question and I’m beating the shit out of you.”
“Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off… “

THE GOONIES

“It’s our time down here.”
“Just throw everything into cardboard boxes.”
“Always separate the drugs.”
“I want you to spill your guts, tell us everything!”
“I’m not all alone in the dark. I like the dark. I love the dark.”
“That was so nice of you.”
“If you do a bad job you’ll be locked in here with the cockroaches for two weeks without food or water.”
“You know, your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn’t screwing it up.”
“Your looks are kind of pretty when your face isn’t screwing it up.”
“C'mon, give me a lickery kiss!”
“Hey, are you hungry? I got a Baby Ruth.”
“You’re even hungrier than I am.”
“Is this supposed to be water?”
“I’m setting booty traps.”
“Looks fine to me.”
“Okay, this is the little boys’ room, and that cave over there is the little girls’ room.”
“Next time you kiss him, do it with your eyes open. It’s a whole different experience.”
“Senior Jerk Alert!”
“I’m gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!”
“What happened to your braces?”
“You know, I just want to say thank you. For offering to save my life.”
“Man! You smell like Phys Ed!”
“Watch your hair! Watch your hair! They’re goin’ for the hair!”
“My God, I’m in a crazy house!”
“This is ridiculous. It’s crazy. I feel like I’m babysitting, except I’m not getting paid.”
“I just saw the most amazing thing in my entire life!”
“First, you gotta do the truffle shuffle.”
“I’m pretty much ODing on all your bullshit stories!”
“You’ve got a great body.”

FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
“You’re my hero.”
“A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself.”
“I could be the walrus. I’d still have to bum rides off people.”
“You can’t respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.”
“Pardon my French, but you’re an asshole!”
“Look, don’t make me participate in your stupid crap if you don’t like the way I do it.”
“It is his fault he didn’t lock the garage.”
“I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life.”
“You’re still here? It’s over!”
“The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands.”
“It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.”
“Your ass is mine.”
“You realize if we played by the rules right now we’d be in gym?”
“The city looks so peaceful from up here.” 
“Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet.”
“I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body.”
“Gummi bear? It’s been in my pocket; they’re real warm and soft.”
“You killed the car.”
“You have nothing to worry about. I’m a professional.”
“I think we should shoot her.”
“What are you interested in?”
“Get off of the float!”
“In a nutshell: I hate my brother.”
“Are you suggesting that I’m not who I say I am?”
“You’re a beautiful man. I want to thank you for your warmth and compassion.”
“I asked for a car, I got a computer. How’s that for being born under a bad sign?”
“Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to.”
“Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.”
“Go piss up a flagpole.”
“You heartless wench!”
“I weep for the future.”
“If you’re not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend.”
“You’re not dying, you just can’t think of anything good to do.”
“Do you have a kiss for daddy?”
“What a little asshole.”
“You sounded like Dirty Harry just then.”
“You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she’s a whore.”
“I can’t drive when you’re yelling at me!”
“Smile, babe. Just smile…”

FOOTLOOSE

“Do you wanna kiss me?”
“I get the feeling you’ve been kissed a lot, and I’m afraid I’d suffer by comparison.”
“I thought only pansies wore neckties.”
“I thought only assholes used the word ‘pansy’.”
“Son of a bitch is gonna pay for that!”
“Hey, hey! What’s this I see? I thought this was a party.”
“I’m no saint you know. I’m not even a virgin.”
“Don’t you talk like that here!”
“How come you don’t like me?” 
“What makes you think that I don’t like you?” 
“You never talk to me at school. You never look at me!”
“I see you chasing after her and I see her running from you.”
“I was almost jealous.”
“Sometimes people run out of things to say.”
“Hey, I like that hat, man. They sell men’s clothes where you got that?”
“I thought I was alone.”
“You want out of here so bad you probably memorize bus schedules.”
“Who were you with?”
“I don’t want you to see him anymore.”
“I’ve heard he’s a troublemaker.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”
“You like it or not, this is it. It doesn’t get much better.”
“I just don’t know that I believe in everything you believe in. But I believe in you.”
“If you ask me, he’s a total fox.”
“It seems that a lot of people are pointing the finger in your direction lately.”
“You figured where there’s smoke there’s fire, right?”
“You’ve got an attitude problem.”
“Is that what I get, huh? I treated you decent!”
“I was about through with you anyway!”
“No fights, you don’t even know this guy.”

Ana tips and tricks

Pro Ana Weight Loss Tips and Tricks
1. Drink one glass of water every hour. It will make you feel full.
2. Drink ice cold water. Your body will burn calories just getting the water to a normal temperature to digest. Also it is great for your complexion.
3. Drink 3 cups of green tea daily. It will help boost your metabolism, plus its anti-oxidants make your skin look great.
4. Take vitamins daily. Do not take vitamins on an empty stomache, otherwise they have nothing to catalyze with.
5. Eat ice or gum when hungry. This will make your body think it had food without the calories.
6. Do aerobics until you want to faint.
7. Eat spicy foods. They raise your metabolism.
8. Take cold showers because your body will burn calories to heat you back up.
9. DON’T take laxatives. They don’t help you to lose weight.
10. DON’T use diruretics. They only dehydrate you.
11. Brush your teeth constantly so you won’t be tempted to eat afterwards.
12. Weat a rubberband around your wrist. Snap it when you want to eat.
13. Clean something gross (toilet, litter box, boyfriend’s closet) when you want to eat. You will not want to eat after cleaning a litter box.
14. Keep your hair in good condition so no one will suspect anything.
15. Get a job so you’ll have to work through meal times.
16. Exercise twice the amount of calories eaten.
17. Use smaller plates and utensils so it seems like you ate more.
18. Chew eat bite of food thoroughly and then take a sip of water between bites. You will feel full quicker and will not eat as much.
19. Say you are going to eat at a friend’s house and instead go for a walk. You will be burning calories instead of taking them in.
20. Buy clothes that you can’t fit into and hang them wear you can see them. This will motivate you to lose weight to fit into them.
21. Sleep at least six hours a day. If you get less than six this can lower your metabolism by 15%.
22. If you start to feel hungry do situps or punch yourself in the stomach. You will not feel hungry anymore.
23. Pamper yourself! Give yourself a facial, paint your nails, anything to make you feel pretty.
24. Make yourself a snack, but instead of eating it throw it away. Leave the dirty dishes whereyour parents can find them. They will think you ate.
25. Prepare a list of excuses as to why you can’t eat - You’re sick, you’re a vegetarian, allergic, etc. You’d be amazed at how many good excuses there are.
26. Get out of your house! If you’re not sitting around then people can’t start shit with you about not eating.
27. Join a pro-ana group or start your own website. Anything that will keep you motivated.
28. Make an ANA scrapbook with pics of skinny models. Right down all the reasons you want to lose weight. Keep track of everything you eat. Look at it daily for thinsperation.
29. Keep good posture, burns 10% more calories when you sit up straight.
30. Instead of food, buy something else, a new shirt, flowers, jewelrey etc.
31. Make a list of all the “bad” foods that you crave and tend to binge on. Each day, pick one to take out of your diet that you absolutely, no matter what, cannot eat again. Take one off the list each day until there are no more bad foods you can have.
32. Avoid alcohol! A shot of liquor has 100-120 calories, a glass of wine has 80 calories, a lite beer has 110-120 calories, and a regular beer has 140-170 calories.
33. Never eat anything bigger than about a cup, your stomach will expand and then you’ll get hungry more.
34. Eat in front of a mirror naked. See how much you can eat then!
35. The smell of coffee is suppose to supress appetite.
36. Wear perfectly applied lip gloss. It makes you more aware of what’s going in your mouth. Also, flavored ones help with cravings.
37. Have 6 small meals a day. Take 2 apples, and split them so you can make 6 meals out of them. That way your body will be tricked into thinking it’s eating more.
38. Low calorie hot chocolate curbs chocolate cravings, and makes you feel full.
39. Take anti-heartburn pills if you’re really hungry. They nuetralize the acid that builds and makes you hungry.
40. Take a picture of yourself wearing a bathing suit or something equally revealing, look at it when you want to eat.
41. It takes 20 minutes for the brain to realize the stomach is full.
42. When you get hunger pains curl into a ball, it makes them go away.
43. If you’re a smoker and hungry, light up a cigarette. It curbs your appetite.
44. Eat lots of fiber. It makes you feel full and takes fat with it out of your body. The natural cleansing helps improve both your energy level and overall feeling of wellness.
45. Before you dig into that cake, bag of chips, candy, or whatever, take a deep breath and count to 100. Usually by the time you get to 100 you will have convinced yourself that you don’t really want it.
46. When you’re hungry chug 2 glasses (or how many you need) of straight water. It’ll make you so full and nauseous you will have completely lost your appetite.
47. Celery actually burns calories. Every hour eat a stalk of it. Not only will it fill you up, but it will also get your metabolism kickin’.
48. Weigh yourslef before and after every time you eat. Not only will it eliminate unnecessary eating, but it will make you want to eat less when you see the numbers creep up.
49. Read the nutritional information. Remember, fat-free does not mean calorie-free. Also keep an eye on fiber content. Get as much fiber into your diet as you can, while cutting fat and calories.
50. Don’t eat a lot at once. Spread your food throughout the day. This will help to avoid binging and keep your metabolism going.
51. If you like to drink alcohol, you’ll like this. Make a rule: You can only drink every time you lose 2lbs. So, if you lose 4lbs a week, you can drink Friday and Saturday night. However, if you only lose 2lbs a week, you only get to drink one night.
52. Do not eat in front of the computer or TV. This distracts you from recognizing you’re full.
53. Save the money you would have spent on that meal in a jar. Save it in a bottle instead and watch it grow.
54. Stay away from Slim-fast and other so-called “healthy” candy bars and shakes… one look at the nutition facts will tell you why. With all the carbs and excess calories you may as well go eat a freakin pie or something. Not to mention the rediculous prices… save yourself the money, and the calories.
55. Instead of buying food, buy yourself flowers. Food is depressing, but flowers make you happy.
56. When having cravings drink a couple glasses of water with slices of lemons and count to 100 and it should go away.
57. Eating 100 cals 4 times a day is better than eating a 400 cal meal.
58. An occasional binge doesn’t hurt, in fact it’s quite beneficial if you have reached a plateau (stopped losing weight). Your body will think you have stopped starving yourself, and you will drop at least a pound overnight! Just don’t binge too regularly!
59. Someone told me that if you take a pure cold bath for 15-30 min and lower your body temp, your body burns around 200 cals for every degree it has to raise itself to reach a normal body temperture. This person tried it, a 30 min bath lowered their temp about 3-4 degrees

She’s Not There

This is for @wayward-mirage ‘s British Men Of Letters Challenge 

Summary:  You decide to visit London for a week after college graduation.  My Prompt was “She’s Not There” by the Zombies (Which is an awesome song and on my playlist!) 

Warnings:  Smut, a bit of fluff (for me, it’s a little fluffy, probably not for most), oral 

Characters:  Ketch x Reader,  background Mick Davies 

Tags (people I think might like it, ignore if not interested)  @kellyn1604 @marauderice @miiraal @alyisdead @mac5323 @2-fast-2-curious @negan–is–god

            The light was on inside the establishment. You took that has a good sign and the gnawing in your stomach was replaced with hope in your heart.  The door pushed open and showed a nearly empty pub. One guy sat at the far end, swirling a drink and a bored looking bartender watched the television.   He didn’t acknowledge the dinging of the bell as you walked inside, but you rolled right up to him anyway.

Originally posted by sleepypanda27

               “Do you serve food?”  You leaned over the bar.  

               “Na.” He didn’t glance away from the screen.

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Carry You There

Have y’all seen this fan art by @fizzmouth that I reblogged a few days ago? Where Jack is carrying a drunk Bitty up the stairs? Well that’s been stuck in my head and now I wrote a ficlet about it. Hope you enjoy.

Getting wasted in the backyard of the Haus seemed like a good idea at the time, and after six beers, Bitty agreed that it was definitely still a good idea. It was March and the boys were celebrating the end of the regular season and the beginning of playoffs – their first game wasn’t until Friday, but it was Tuesday and getting Tuesday drunk made absolute sense. Truthfully, they had been celebrating the end of regular season and the beginning of playoffs for several days now, but this particular celebration included only the occupants of the Haus.

Well, not all the occupants of the Haus. Jack Zimmermann had an eight a.m. class and refused to participate in the Haus Backyard Bonfire Miller Lite Chug-A-Thon To Celebrate Making the Playoffs and Kicking Some NCAA Ass.

The celebration began before sundown while the weather was still tolerable. It’d been one of the warmer days in spring and Bitty had no qualms about shorts and a tank top while attending class and making dinner, but after beer number three the fire was roaring and the sun was sinking. Now after beer number six the sun was completely set and Bitty was cold. Not just chilly – he was shivering, quivering, and complaining cold.

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The Love You Gave Up, or alternatively, "Fuck You": A Prose Poem

You wake up an hour before work
You eat breakfast before you shower, and you take your coffee with cream, no sugar
You let your dog out while you cut your strawberries and slather your bagel in cream cheese
You check your twitter feed as you watch tv and drink your coffee

Your left arm is shorter than the other because you injured it playing basketball while you were still growing
Basketball is your favorite sport

You have freckles on your eyelids,
And in your ears
You have tiny pimples on the back of your neck, Acne scars on your cheeks
A crooked nose bridge from breaking it too many times

You love your little brothers more than anything or anyone in the world
You want a big family
You want to live in New York

Your dad left for the Navy when you were a baby

Blue American Spirits are your favorite cigarettes
And you only smoke when we aren’t together

Miller Lite is your favorite beer
And you have a drinking problem

When you laugh – I mean, REALLY laugh – you throw your head back, squint your eyes, and cross your hands on your chest

That’s the one that really gets me

And this, this is the love you gave up

The Zodiac Signs as Alcohol
  • Aries: Moonshine
  • Taurus: Lite Beer
  • Gemini: Gin
  • Cancer: White Wine
  • Leo: Craft Beer
  • Virgo: Red Wine
  • Libra: Rum
  • Scorpio: Whiskey
  • Sagittarius: 4loco
  • Capricorn: Vodka
  • Aquarius: Tequila
  • Pisces: Absinthe

anonymous asked:

I wish you would write a fanfic about Gabriel Reyes getting way too worked up about sports.

There was a moment that he’d never forgotten, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, a tightening of his heart, as he’d dropped into a hot zone ten years ago and realized that the grey beneath him was not, in fact, a paved street, but a churning mass of armed and furious omnic droids.  The feeling that a problem already too big to handle just was actually a thousand times worse all along and you were far, far too late in realizing it.

“What…the hell are you wearing?  Did you join the mariachi club of the damned or something?” he asked slowly.

“Haven’t you ever been to a ball game before?” Reyes replied.  He was grinning.  The death-mask that covered the better part of his face made the expression ghoulish.

“You look like something outta one of those old Day of the Dead flicks,” Morrison said with a shake of his head.  “What’s this gotta do with a ball game?”  But Reyes just stepped past him.

“C’mon, Morrison.  We gotta get going or we’re gonna get shit parking.”

“You’re kidding.  How are you gonna drive with-”

“And turn that thing inside out.”

“-that hat…what’s wrong with a Sox jersey?  You told me to wear black and white!  This is the only thing I’ve got!”

“I know.  Turn it inside out.”

————————–

The last time the ground had shook like this, he’d been under aerial bombardment.

Eighty thousand people were on their feet and roaring.  Most wore team colors - well, yeah - but he hadn’t been prepared for the gear.  Men wore helmets, pauldrons, gauntlets and chains and freaking sabotons.  It was all fake; plastic or styrofoam, but sabotons.  Freaking sabotons.  People wore skull-masks and skull-paint and horned helmets and tricorn hats and eyepatches.  Three rows up was a man wearing the headdress of an ancient pharaoh, wielding a snake-headed staff.  Amari would love that guy. Two rows back a guy in a gorilla mask was directing wave after wave of cheers from the people further up by throwing up a pair of hands hidden by ape-like mitts.  The massed hordes of the undead mingled with pirates, viking raiders, mongol warriors, and Darth Vader.

And beside him, the head of Blackwatch was on his feet and furiously twanging a guitar he’d assured security was entirely fake but sounded pretty damn real in a heart-pounding beat that was made all the worse as people nearby stomped their feet in time with the music.

It was like the archway had been a gate to another time - stepping from the 2060s where vendors sold cheap soy-dogs and sausages and lite beer beneath neon lighting to a colosseum of stone and stand - except for the gigantic jumbotron that currently showed an old, scratchy recording of a man, speakers transmitting his voice through the air with more decibels than a jet plane - “when you have great coaches - then after you have great coaches you get great players…you have a great organization, you tell them one thing!”

Every single voice in the place, it seemed, roared along with the last three words- “JUST WIN, BABY!”

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,” a voice boomed out from the stadium speakers.  “FORTY YEARS AGO, A GREAT FOOTBALL TEAM WAS PURCHASED BY THE BEAUTIFUL CITY OF LAS VEGAS.”

Even in the midst of violent revolution, Jack Morrison had never seen a crowd turn so fast.  The cheers turned to ferocious booing mid-breath.  Weapons were brandished.  The few people that had started to sit back down had leapt back up, howling in outrage.  He almost dove for cover, half-expecting people to charge the field.  Beside him, Reyes was snarling something that Morrison lost in the tumult, but the single-digit salute was unmistakable.

“Jesus, Gabe, calm down,” he murmured as he leaned over, already silently apologizing for the blasphemy.

The wide-brimmed hat swung about and Jack Morrison was suddenly being stared down by a silver-plated skull.  “We never forgive, Morrison.  We never forget,” growled something that was less like Gabriel Reyes and more like some atavistic spirit of vengeance.

“AND NOW, CELEBRATING THE THIRTY-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THEIR RETURN HOME, YOUR! OAKLAND! RAIDEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRSSS!”

The air shook.  The stands shook.  The beer in the plastic cups shook. And Jack Morrison wished he’d had the foresight to bring a medic.  At the very least he was never betting on a pool game again.

It was a decent game, he said later.  Good guys won.