the fall

Sirius Black knew what stunning felt like. He had been stunned several times by the likes of Lily Evans, Remus Lupin and even James Potter when he didn’t behave as he should. He knew what it felt like ever since he was 9 years old because sometimes he just didn’t know when to shut up. So when Bellatrix’ spell hit him, he felt that familiar tingle all over his body, soon he’d fall to the marble floors of the Department of Mysteries, he would feel the cold of the marble all over his skin and Harry would continue duelling for him, he was as good as James was, he could handle that git Malfoy himself.

When he lost his balance, he heard familiar voices that didn’t belong to anyone in the room with him, calling his name, telling him to be careful. They sounded like.. James? 

Sirius felt his body become weightless as he fell backwards, the last thing he heard was Harry’s piercing scream and Bellatrix’ chanting.

I killed Sirius Black. I killed Sirius Black. I killed Sirius Black.

He was falling like you would fall in your nightmares and wake up suddenly from the pull but this time he didn’t wake up. He kept falling like he threw himself from a tall building, it was like the time stood still but he kept falling. When he finally reached the ground he didn’t crash as he should have but he landed gracefully, which didn’t sound very much like him. Sirius felt hard ground behind his back but it wasn’t cold like the marble would have been. He couldn’t really be dead, could he? Bella liked to exaggerate things and Harry could have screamed about something else. Sirius was almost completely sure Bella hit him with a stunning curse, was he weak enough to die from a stunning curse?

Sirius didn’t dare open his eyes as the reality settled in, he didn’t hear Harry or the others in the room, not Moody’s orders nor Tonks’ rapid duelling, he didn’t hear Remus’ strong curses either. For the first time in his life, or his existence was a better choice of words now, he wanted to hear Bella’s screeching voice.


Sirius felt like he was shot in the head. His eyes flew open as he heard the familiar voice of his little brother. Regulus was extending a hand for Sirius to take but Sirius ignored it and pushed himself up. Second shot, this time through his heart. James Potter was standing right there, in flesh and blood. Was this his heaven? As he was thinking about what was going on, Sirius saw the taller boy running to him as his wife slowly walked behind him.

James looked the same as Sirius had left him on the floor that October night, his hair perfectly messy and glasses still crooked. Lily glowed the way she did before the war, the beauty of her heart somehow always reached the surface. They were as Sirius had left them and they were not real. How could they be? When had Sirius been that lucky?

James threw himself at Sirius and Sirius felt himself melt because the way James hugged him hadn’t changed in all those years either and Sirius could feel the warmth radiating from him. If this was a dream, how did he feel that? James kept mumbling “I’m sorry” quietly as he held Sirius tighter. He had replayed James’ hugs millions of times in his head when he was locked up, they always made him feel safe and of all the things that could have happened to him, he never expected this. When James finally pulled back, Sirius could see the warm honey eyes of his brother looking back at him glistening with the tears he was trying to hold back.

“I’m sorry,” whispered James once more. “I’m so sorry you had to live like that and it’s all because of us.”

Sirius didn’t know what to say, did it even matter if he was a part of his imagination? He then stared at Lily who had his hand on her mouth as she always did when she was about to cry, he could see her chin trembling as she tried to keep it in.

“You should see this,” she murmured and pulled Sirius by the hand and now Sirius was looking at Harry who was running after an ecstatic Bellatrix for revenge leaving Remus behind. “I don’t know how he will heal after this.”

“He will Lils, he has so much of you in him.”

Sirius had no idea what was going on, if this was real or not but seeing Harry like that was the second most hardest thing he had to endure. He was so broken, almost as broken as his Moony was, Sirius could feel it from wherever he was. He could hear the way is heart shattered into sand sized pieces but he knew, he knew Harry would get better. He knew his godson. In the two short years he got to share with him, he had seen him grow more and more like James with a heart of gold and he was sure, Harry was strong enough to get over him, too. 

Sirius finally looked away from his godson, seeing that Dumbledore was there and he would be alright, he fixed his gaze on James who was standing right next to him.

“Are you real?” asked Sirius, he couldn’t help but touch James’ face and shoulders and all of them a proof that his brother was standing right in front of him after all these years.


It was Sirius’ time to hold on tight, it could be a lie but he didn’t care, he might be dead but he didn’t give a shit because he had his Prongs back. As stupid as it may sound, Sirius didn’t feel like he was dead, he even felt alive because he had already died on 31st of October fifteen years ago when he had seen James lying on the floor life drained from his eyes. 

“I tried so hard to take him, Lils,” said Sirius as he was staring at Lily Evans’ green eyes and smiling at the thought of how they were the exact same of the boy downstairs. “I never wanted him to be taken to Petunia’s and I’m so–”

Lily hugged Sirius so genuinely, Sirius knew it was her way of telling him that it wasn’t his fault. 

“We should be the ones apologising to you,” said Lily in between her hiccups.

“For what exactly?” challenged Sirius because he really couldn’t see any reason for them to be sorry for. It was all his fault.

“You had to live in Azkaban for twelve years because of us Pads, you lived with those creatures and I watched you, how you lost your senses and your soul–” James began but Sirius raised his hand to shut him up.

“What are you on about?” asked Sirius angrily. “I am the reason you two are– are- are here.” He wouldn’t say the other word, it had been almost fifteen years and Sirius never used that word when it came to James.

“But you were-”

“Nothing makes up for the fact that I was a coward for backing out of being the Secret Keeper,” confessed Sirius as he took a deep breath, he had never said that out loud before. He was a coward and he got his brother and his wife killed because he couldn’t just step up for once. “It should have been me and I should have died for you after all the things you had done for me.”

“I didn’t do those things for you to die for me Pads, I did them because you deserved them. Just like you deserved a happy life, with or without us,” argued James as he pushed his glasses up to rub his eyes softly. James Potter didn’t like crying, Sirius remembered clearly.

“We can play the blame game forever Jamie, just for once in your life, let me take the fall for you because this time, I need to,” begged Sirius. “Also we forget who the real culprit is because we are like that, we never let another take the fall.”

James smiled warmly at him and Sirius tipped his head to the right to look at Regulus who was now hiding behind Lily, there was no point in avoiding him anymore.

“And may I ask what the hell you are doing here, Reggie?” demanded Sirius angrily. Regulus didn’t belong where James and Lily were, he didn’t deserve to be in the same place as them.

All three of them went silent, Lily and James were most possibly communicating telepathically and Regulus was just staring at his pale hands.

“He died so maybe someday someone might defeat Voldemort,” said Lily quietly and Sirius felt his world come crashing down around him, Lily wouldn’t have lied to make him better but how was that possible? The last time he checked Regulus was a Death Eater. He walked straight to Regulus to look into the identical grey eyes as his, it was almost like looking in a mirror.

“You did what?”

“I never planned it to be a suicide mission Siri but it was. He had-– I still can’t say his fucking name.” Regulus steadied his breathing and picked up from where he left off. “Voldemort had tortured Kreacher and left him to die. I just– I couldn’t find you anywhere so I took the matter in my own hands and ended up here.”

Sirius just gaped at his little brother. The boy he had blamed for being a pawn to his mother had died because of the small possibility that someday someone might defeat Voldemort and Sirius just assumed he died miserably.

“I am so proud of you, Reggie.”

Sirius saw the smile on Regulus’ face widen as he smiled back at him but he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“I am sorry because I wasn’t there for you and because I didn’t protect you from them,” apologised Sirius. “I wasn’t a good brother to you because I was busy being a good brother to Jamie. It never occurred to me that I could do both and I am sorry for that.”

“You were what kept me here Siri, you were the reason I never moved on because I wanted you to know that I didn’t disappoint you,” babbled Regulus as he played with the loose strings of his clothes. “I did that to make you proud and to make up for all the things I did.”

“You are not leaving, are you?”

“No, I won’t leave before I see that man defeated,” replied Regulus with disgust in his voice.

Sirius pulled his brother in to bone crushing hug like he did when they were around 10 years old Walburga was having a particularly cruel day, Sirius hadn’t hugged Regulus like that since he was 12 and Merlin, it felt good.


Sirius could hear the panic in Lily’s voice, not a lot of people knew that but Sirius knew Lily like the back of his hand, okay maybe his left hand but he did nevertheless. Sirius walked with James and Regulus to where Lily was standing rigidly and he saw Harry was now in the Headmaster’s room. Sirius and James had spent considerable time in that place.

Sirius looked down at his godson, he was wreaking havoc in Dumbledore’s room and yelling at the Headmaster with so much anger that Sirius felt like Harry got his temper from him, Sirius had never been subtle about showing his anger however this was different. Harry was yelling because of him and how he had had enough because apparently Sirius’ absence was the last drop for him and Sirius felt his heart drop to his stomach, he still had his heart after all, albeit not beating.

“Can I, um, see Moony from here?”

One question was all it took and before others could reply, Sirius could see Remus, Merlin knows where, with a good supply of Firewhiskey by his side as he stared into oblivion. Sirius slowly realised he was in the room where he kept Buckbeak, why would he shut himself up in that miserable place? Remus was rocking back and forth, Sirius hadn’t seen him do that since he was thirteen, he did that when he couldn’t handle everything going on around him.

He’s gone, he’s gone again. He’s gone.

It felt like all Sirius did was disappoint. The black sheep of the family, the coward that got James and Lily killed, the useless brother and constantly absent lover. Sirius hadn’t realised up until now that being with James meant that he would be without Remus. He had disappointed the man who loved him yet again, he never could do right by Remus and he had left him alone, again

i am all for james f potter trying to spoil the fuck out of his wonderful friend and then girlfriend lily evans and she always hated it because people already thought she was just with him for his money and also there is NO REASON TO SPEND MORE THAN 7 POUND ON LITERALLY ANTHING. so here is an incomplete list of shit james did/ got for lily that resulted in at least 30 minutes of arguing 

  • everyone knows lyra and the puffskiens are lilys favorite band so james pulled a few strings and surprised her with a personal meet and greet with the whole band before their show that he also got fRONT ROW TICKETS TO
  • during the summer lily wrote james a letter and briefly mentioned that she missed being around other wizards so he picked her up and tried to take her to the fucking quidditch world cup but she fought him for 2 hours before he finally said, “For merlins sake lils, I already bought the tickets and paid for everything and sirius is waiting for us so take my hand so we can already fucking go” and she finally relented
  • bought lily an OBSCENE about of candy like more than “we’ll take the lot” because she was bummed out about something
  • tried to bribe 4th years to give lily a piggy back home after she got shwasted at a party
  • giving lily 25 large gifts everyday leading up to christmas such as: actual diamonds, A CAT, super good tickets to the ballet, a new violin, hired an orchestra to play to her during their hogsmeade date, ect JAMES THATS NOW HOW ADVENT CALENDERS WORK DUDE
  • literally just buying anything lily looked at for more than 30 seconds
Jily HC 5

Jily in Class

  • it’s early sixth year where James and Lily are friends but aren’t official yet (even though everyone and their mother ships the two of them.)
  • The two of them being partners in potions.
  • Probably because Slughorn lowkey ships them. Even though he thinks Lily could do so much better. 
  • The two of them working on a potion one day and Lily noticing that James often gets off topic when they are talking. 
  • Like she’ll ask him to cut up one of the ingredients and he’ll start talking about how he has to decide who he wants to cut from the quidditch team after tryouts. 
  • “James? Could we maybe get back to making the potion?”
  • James turning a light shade of red and he glances down at the table.
  • “Yeah. Sorry, I have trouble staying focused. My mom says I should talk to someone about it.”
  • Lily smiling. “Yeah, sometimes I talk to this lady back home over the summer.”
  • “I don’t need to talk to them about my feelings, I’m very secure in who I am.”
  • Lily laughing, “Well it’s good that you are.”
  • The two of them working in silence for a while. 
  • The potion is almost done when James looks up again. 
  • “Do you think it will rain on Wednesday? We are supposed to have a game but I hate flying in the rain. Last time we had a game in the rain I swear I didn’t dry off for days.”
  • Lily gently tapping James’s hand as he rambles in an attempt to get his attention. “James, we are almost done.”
  • “Sure.”
  • Lily turning the potion books towards him and saying, “I changed the measurement because I think the one in the book is too weak.”
  • James double checking, smiling, and poking Lily’s nose while saying, “Well aren’t you smart.” 
  • “Did you just tap my nose?”
  • James smirking, “You bet I did.” 
  • “What the fuck man?”
  • “Now, now Lily. Fuck is a bad word.”
  • Then the two of them lose it and start laughing so hard that Lily is worried that she’s going to wet herself and James can’t breathe. 
  • In the end, they ace the potion and James gives Lily a fist bump when Slughorn turns his back on them. 
  • That day Lily leaves potions with a strange feeling towards James Potter. 
Caught: Part 3(Sirius Black)


then… PART 3!!!!!! SERIOUSLY I LOVED PART 2 (i send you the ideia) i love you


Part 3 please!!

A/N: I’M SO EXCITED FOR PART 3!!!! WILL THIS STORY EVER END? I DON’T KNOW! PROBABLY NOT!!! *Takes deep breath* *Weird voice* This is what I was sent here for. This is my entire life’s purpose. *Normal voice* Well, this and to completely embarrass myself and my friends for all of eternity. Sorry in advance for any and all typos. 
Also, this is a No Voldy AU and “James’ Parents Don’t Die” AU. 

Part 1
Part 2

I walk into the Common Room and fall into a couch. Sirius scoots over to sit next to me. I curl up on his lap and hide my face in his shoulder. I just finished taking the exams for Seventh Year. I hope I passed. Remus helped me study to prepare and a couple Ravenclaw Seventh Years let me study their notes. It was very stressful to say the least. But I guess it was worth it. 
“Hey, babe,” Sirius whispers in my ear. “You tired?” 
“Mm-hmm,” I mumble. 
“You gonna go to bed?” He asks with a soft chuckle. 
“You’re bed now,” I tell him. 
“Oh, I am?” He laughs, his breath hot on my face. I wrap my arms around him and breath in his scent, after-shave and leather. He rests his arm on my back and plays with my hair. It’s probably the most comforting thing in the world. 
Comfort doesn’t last long as the baby decides to kick me right then. I groan into Sirius’ shoulder before moving to look up at him. Worry crosses his face as he silently asks what’s wrong. 
“Baby kicked me,” I explain. His face softens as he pushes my hair out of my face. Then he presses a soft kiss to my forehead. I reach up and play with a strand of his long hair. With a smile he kisses my hand. A grin makes its way across my face. “You’re pretty amazing, you know?” I tell him, my voice barely above a whisper. 
“Yeah, I’ve heard,” he replies, softly, looking me right in the eye. It’s nothing new, Sirius looking me in the eye. Something about it was different this time, though. Something passed between us. 
Sirius leans down slightly, his face only centimeters away from mine. I tilt my head up and press my lips to his. It was a soft and sweet kiss. I start to break away, but Sirius quickly stops me by placing his hand on my cheek. We continue to kiss for a minute. 
“Ahem,” someone interrupts. We don’t break away immediately, we already know who it is. 
James is glaring at us with his arms crossed. “You know, I just might make you two follow the rules from break. No being in each others’ dorms, not allowed alone, arms distance away,” he threatens. 
“If only he knew how many times we broke all those rules,” I mumble under my breath. 
“What?” James asks, leaning forward. 
“You can’t do that,” I say, loudly. James frowns and glares at me. 
“I can get Remus to give you both detention for PDA,” he suggests. I roll my eyes. 
“Then how ‘bout Sirius and I just head up to my dorm?” I ask, getting up and grabbing Sirius’ wrist to pull him up with me. 
“No, I didn’t mean─” James starts to say, but I’m already dragging Sirius up to my dorm. Well, not exactly dragging, but you get the idea. 
I click the door shut as Sirius settles onto my bed. I curl up against him and sit in the peaceful silence. Sirius strokes my hair like he had been before. After a while something occurs to me. 
“What’s the name?” I ask. 
“What?” Sirius asks, confused at first. 
“The baby. What’re we going to choose for a name?” I ask, again. 
“I… I dunno,” he shrugs. “What’re you thinking for a name?” 
“Obviously I don’t know. That’s why I asked you,” I say. 
“Why would you ask me?” He questions, confused. 
“Well, you are the Dad, you know. Your opinion does matter,” I tell him. He looks me in the eye to see if I’m being completely honest. 
“Spencer,” he says after a minute. 
“Spencer?” I repeat. 
“Spencer,” he clarifies. 
“I like it,” I say, softly. “Spencer.” Sirius smiles at me and pecks me on the lips. I pull his face towards mine and kiss him. He kisses me back while pushing hair out of my face. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling me closer to him. 
Of course, we’re interrupted when Lily opens the door. She looks at us before apologizing and turning to leave.
“Oh, my gosh! I’m so sorry!” 
“It’s fine,” I call after her before she’s gone. “You can come in.” She slowly turns back around to face us. She seems relaxed to see Sirius and I have separated from each other. 
I notice that she seems upset about something. “What’s wrong?” I ask. 
“Huh? Oh, nothing,” she says, eyeing Sirius. 
Thankfully, he picks up that it’s his cue to leave. “I should go find James and Remus,” he says. 
When he’s gone Lily plops down on my bed. “So what’s wrong?” I ask, again. She looks at me with a weird look on her face. 
“There’s something incredibly wrong,” she whispers. 
“Yeah. I’ve noticed,” I say slowly and quietly. “What is it?” I repeat in the same tone. 
“There’s a guy!” She whisper-yells like it’s totally crazy. 
“Yeah, you’re in love with James. So what?” I say with a normal voice. 
HUSH!” She hisses. “Don’t be so loud. I don’t want anyone to hear,” she whispers. 
“Um, Lily? There’s no one else around. We’re the only two in here,” I point out. 
“There might be someone outside the door, though,” she suggests. I roll my eyes. 
“Really? Someone outside? Are you hearing yourself? You’re crazy! And so what if someone hears? Everyone pretty much knows already,” I say with a shrug. 
“What?! How?!” She asks, nervous. 
“You make it so obvious. Even Peter’s noticed,” I tell her. 
“He has?” She looks really nervous now. 
“Yup. He noticed ages ago,” I say. 
She whines. “Oh, that means that James also must’ve noticed!” 
“Oh, no. No, no, no. He’s completely oblivious…. Just like you!” I say. 
“What?” She asks. 
“Well, obviously you’re mad in love with James and he’s mad in love with you, and everybody can see it, but you’re both too in love to notice that the other loves you back. And I know you don’t think he loves you back because you’re stressing out about him knowing,” I explain. “My only question is, how do you not notice how in love he is? How does he not notice? I mean, Peter noticed, for God’s sake! Peter! Peter doesn’t notice anything!” 
Lily looks at me unbelievingly. I sigh and roll my eyes before falling back against my pillow. “Did I break you?” Lily asks. 
“Yes, I’m broken. The only thing that can fix me is Sirius!” I say, as dramatically as possible. I imagine Lily rolls her eyes. Then the door opens and closes. I look up to see that Lily has left. I sit on my bed, thinking about the homework I need to get done. Then I remember that we don’t have any homework because of exams. 
The door opens and Sirius walks in. I lay back down to pretend to be broken. Sirius takes one look at me and burst out laughing. 
“You’re an idiot, Y/N,” Sirius says, chuckling. Then he grabs me by the shoulders and gently pulls me up. I fall back down when he lets go. He tries again and still I fall back. “You’re really making this complicated, you know?” I stay completely still. “Don’t make me tickle you,” he threatens after a minute. I twitch to shield my sides and my eyes go wide with fear. 
“Please, Sirius, I’m begging you, don’t,” I say as serious as I can. He grins at me, leaning forward slightly. I sit up and back up against the wall. He continues to lean forward. I prepare for the attack, but it never comes. When I finally relax Sirius is just inches away from me, still leaning forward. I smile at him and his grin grows a little bit. I’m not really sure what he’s doing, to be honest. 
Then, lightening fast, he tickles my sides. I squirm under him and squeal for him to stop. Thankfully, he releases me after a minute. I lay on my bed to catch my breath before grabbing my pillow from underneath me and attacking Sirius with it. 
“Ah! Hey! I wasn’t this hard on you!” Sirius says, shielding his head with his arms. I whack him in the stomach. He swiftly puts his arms down to stop me from pulling the pillow back. I glare at him. He chuckles before pecking me on the lips. Then the baby─Spencer kicks me. 
“Ow!” I say rather loud. 
“I didn’t do anything!” Sirius defends. 
“Not you, idiot! The baby kicked me,” I snap. 
“Again?” He asks, shocked. 
“Well, yeah. Babies usually don’t just kick once to let us know they’re alive,” I explain. 
“Yes, of course. I’m sorry. This is just weird for me,” he apologizes. 
“It’s weird for all of us,” I assure him. He gives me a slight nod before rubbing my back. 

Sirius and I walk into the Great Hall for dinner with our hands intertwined, like always. We take our usual seats, Peter next to Sirius, Marlene next to me, James, Lily, and Remus across from all of us. A casual conversation starts about our usual topics of discussion. Everything is exactly like it always is. Until Remus starts to look at me weird, like he’s contemplating something. 
I, of course, notice and try to ignore him, but he keeps watching me. Sirius also notices after a minute─probably a result from my sudden stiffness. He turns to Remus and cocks an eyebrow at him. 
“Got a problem with my girlfriend, mate?” He asks, becoming very protective very fast. James turns to Remus and also looks protective. 
“No, no, not at all. I was just thinking about something,” Remus explains. 
“What exactly?” James asks, butting into the conversation. Lily, Marlene, and Peter all turn to stare at Remus. 
“Nothing important, really. Just something I was wondering about,” he answers.  
“What were you wondering about exactly?” Sirius questions, crossing his arms. James does the same. Remus looks around, probably trying to think of something to say that won’t get him killed. 
“Okay, well, I know it’s none of my business, which is why I didn’t just ask, but I was wondering when Y/N’s baby is due. That’s all. I swear,” he promises, quietly to avoid anyone overhearing, although most people probably know by now. I’m not the skinniest anymore and…well…the baby-bump is getting more and more obvious everyday. 
“Oh,” Sirius and James say at the same time. They both seem to relax a little. 
“Why didn’t you just say so?” James asks. 
“It’s just that it’s kind of a weird subject to bring up at dinner,” Remus shrugs. James gives a slight nod in understanding. Dinner seems to go back to normal after a minute. Something bothers me though. Something that’s been hanging around in the back of my mind for a while, I just can’t seem to think of it. 

As we’re walking together up to the Common Room it finally hits me. When am I due? I knew it was going to be around mid-summer… but when? It would be kind of good to know a more precise date-estimate. 
“Hey, Lily?” I ask as we make our way up one of the last few staircases. 
“Yeah, Y/N?” She answers, turning to face me. 
“Could you talk with me in the dorm when we get there?” I question. 
“Um, sure. About anything in particular?” 
“Not really, just need some help with some… stuff,” I try to explain. I don’t really want to talk about this with everyone else around. Especially James. 
“Okay,” Lily says, with a nod. I think she got what I meant. 
We continue to Gryffindor Tower and when we arrive everyone plops down on a couch or armchair, but Lily and I continue upstairs to our dorm. 

“Is this about what Remus said at dinner?” Lily immediately questions. I sigh, sitting down on my bed and leaning against my pillows. 
“Yeah…” I say. 
“You wanna know your due date?” She guesses. 
“Yeah…” I repeat. 
“Well… Let’s see, do you know when you… uh… when… it happened?” Lily asks. 
“Not really,” I answer, honestly. 
“Well, that’s great,” she says, sarcastically. “It wasn’t like it just happened once and…?”
“No, not really,” I answer, quietly, my cheeks burning red. 
“Okay… Well… You found out on Wednesday, how’d you know before you took the test?” She starts. 
“My period was three days late and it’s never late, so I recounted when my period should’ve started and it still looked late,” I explain. 
“Okay… So…let’s see…” Lily thinks to herself. “Um… When was the last time you two…uh…you know…had sex before Sunday?” 
“Uhmmm… The Sunday before… I think…” I say, thinking as hard as I could. 
“You only think?” She asks, unsure. 
“I’m sorry, it was a while ago, it’s hard to remember,” I tell her. 
“Yeah, I get it. It’s not really that common to remember every single time you’ve…you know… had sex,” she says. Then she gets out a paper and pulls the calendar off the wall. After a few minutes she looks up at me. 
“Okay. So. If I’ve done my math correctly you should be due June nineteenth,” she informs. 
“June…That’s not long after school,” I point out. 
“Yeah…” She says with a sigh. 
“Okay, then. Thanks for your help…” I say, slowly. My hands start to shake a little. 
“Want to talk about it, Y/N?” Lily asks, softly. 
I take in a deep breath. “I’m so scared, Lily. This living human being is growing inside of me. And I have to take care of it. She or he is going to be my responsibility for seventeen years. But then, even after he or she is grown up, I’ll still be a mom. A mom that will only be early-thirties when my kid is of age… Oh, Lily… This is…scary. Really, really scary.” 
Lily sits quietly and listens. When I’m done she says, “But you don’t regret it, do you?” 
“You don’t regret having sex with Sirius and getting pregnant, right?” She rephrases. 
“Oh… No. I’m not overjoyed or anything, but I’m not upset. It happened for a reason, you know? And one day it’ll be the best thing to happen to me,” I tell her. 
“Yeah. That’s a good way of thinking about it,” she agrees. 
“Oh, um, did I tell you we picked a name?” I ask after a minute of silence. 
“No! You guys picked a name? What is it?” Lily demands. I was thankful for the change in conversation. 
“Spencer. Sirius thought of it,” I tell her. 
“Spencer. That’s a pretty name. I wonder where he thought of that,” Lily thinks aloud. “So, will Spencer be Potter or Black?” 
“I dunno. His parents kicked him out over the holidays and he stayed with us, so I doubt Black is a good name for Spencer, but I would also feel like I was excluding him as a parent if we did Spencer Potter. And I don’t know how I’m supposed to ask Sirius about this, I had enough trouble bringing up the first name dilemma,” I explain. 
“Yeah… I don’t know how to help you there… I’ve never been in this situation before.” 
I sigh and fall onto my side. “Why does everyone say that?” I mumble to myself. 
“Probably because it’s true,” Lily answers, getting up and sitting next to me. 
“It was a rhetorical question,” I tell her. 
“Oh.” I chuckle. “Anyway, let’s go downstairs with the others. I’m sure they’re wondering what we’ve got up to,” Lily says. I nod and sit up. Then we make our way downstairs to the Common Room. 
Lily sits on the couch in between James and Remus, but closer to James. I smile at her and she rolls her eyes. Everyone looks up at me when I don’t sit down right away. 
“I have something to say. To all of you,” I announce. 
“Oh, boy. Last time you had something to tell us you were pregnant,” James points out, nervously. 
“Whatever,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Sirius and I… Well, we picked out a name for the baby…” I start, slowly. 
When I stop everyone waits, on edge for a minute before James asks, “Are you going to tell us what the name is? Or do you plan to keep us on the edge of our seats for the rest of the day?” Everyone laughs. 
“On June nineteenth, we shall all be blessed with Spencer,” I say. Everyone thinks about the name for a minute. 
“That’s nice. How’d you come up with it?” Remus asks. 
“Ask Sirius. He’s the one who thought of it,” I answer. Sirius shrugs. 
“Oh, well. I’m just glad he didn’t say Vidalia.” Everyone burst into laughter at Remus’ comment. I walk over to where Sirius is sitting in an armchair, and he pulls me onto his lap. Sirius wraps his arms around my stomach, lightly. In response, Spencer kicks the side of my stomach where Sirius’ hand rests. Sirius smiles at this. 
James continues telling his story about one of his detentions with Filch. We all know he’s exaggerating some things, but we laugh anyway. Then Sirius tells his story about an even worse detention. The rest of the night is spent with hilarious stories. I notice at one point that Lily is quite a bit closer to James than she had been when she originally sat down. 
It’s about 11 o’clock when Remus goes up to the boys’ dorm for the night. Peter had left about an hour before. 
“Oh, wow. It is getting pretty late,” Lily says, but doesn’t move to get up. 
“Wait, how late, again?” James asks. 
“Eleven,” Sirius answers. 
“Crap! I have a game tomorrow,” James says, shooting up and running up to the dorm. He has this ridiculous routine he has to do the night before every game, and then he also liked to go to sleep early, to be well-rested. Lily stays on the couch for a minute, in her own thoughts. 
“Lils?” I ask. She looks up. 
“You look a little sad,” I point out. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not sad,” she says, getting up and storming to our dorm. I chuckle. 
“What’s up with her?” Sirius asks. 
“Isn’t it obvious?” I ask, back. 
“It’s about James, isn’t it?” He guesses. 
“Bingo!” I say, tapping his nose. He laughs. 
“You’re adorable,” he tells me. 
“I know.” He laughs again. 
“C’mon.” He nudges me. I get up and stretch. When I’m done, Sirius grabs my wrist and pulls me with him. 
“Sirius? What’re you doing?” I ask. 
“I need cuddles,” he says with eyes as big as saucers. 
“But we’ll get in trouble,” I tell him. 
“No, we won’t,” he lies. 
“Yes, we will. James will kill you.” 
“But what if I’m already dead because you don’t love me anymore?” Sirius asks, being totally overdramatic. I roll my eyes, but let him lead me to his dorm. 
He gives me one of his old t-shirts to sleep in. 
We lay in his bed, facing each other. I trace lines along his face. 
“I love you,” he whispers, with a stupid smile on his face. I smile, stupidly, back at him. 
“I love you, too,” I whisper back, pulling my hand away. Sirius grabs my hand and gently strokes it. My eyes slowly close until I’m completely asleep, safe in Sirius’ arms. 

(On the Hogwarts Train to King’s Cross)

Sirius looked out the window at the rain pouring on the window. It kind of damped the mood. I sat across Sirius’ lap, leaning against the wall next to the window. Peter sat on the other end of the bench; Remus sat across from Peter; James sat next to Remus; and Lily sat next to James, across from Sirius and I. 
“So I know I won’t be coming back to school next year, but you all still have to talk to me, at least every now and then,” I say, trying to joke around. James makes a weak smile. 
“Only if we have to,” he jokes back. Sirius chuckles. 
“I’m really gonna miss you all,” I say after a few minutes. 
“Trust me, Y/N, we’re all gonna really miss you,” Lily says. 
“Who’s gonna tie our ties for us now?” Peter asks. We all laugh. 
“You can always learn to do it yourselves,” I suggest. 
Peter makes a face. “That sounds like so much work… Why do we even have to wear ties in the first place, anyway?” We all laugh some more. 
“Surely, it’s not that hard, right?” James asks. 
“Oh, yeah, you just loop the one around the other one and then you do some other stuff and tuck one in and pull it tight, simple, right?” I explain. 
“Can I get that in writing?” James asks. 
“There’s no rule that specifically says you have to wear the tie,” Remus adds. “At least as far as I know.” 
“Of course you know. You know every single rule there is, you’re a prefect and a Marauder,” I joke. Everyone except Sirius laughs. I look over at him. “You okay?” I ask, softly. “You haven’t said hardly anything all day.” 
He gives me a sad smile. “I’m just really sad you’re not coming back next year,” he whispers, leaning his head on my shoulder. I lean my head on his. 
“Me, too,” I whisper back. 
The rest of the train ride is pretty quiet. When we get to Platform 9 ¾ we all exchange hugs. For me they’re more like awkward side pats, seeing as my baby bump was full on. 
Mum and Dad are waiting together when we get off the train, smiling at us as we walk over. While we walk towards the exit I feel several stares, but none are quite as unnerving as the one that Walburga and Orion Black give me. I never cared what others thought of my pregnancy except for my friends and family, and all of them have been really supportive. But when I saw the glares of those two, I honestly felt ashamed. 
Sirius noticed and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, blocking the couple out of my view at the same time. 
“I love you,” he said, staring me in the eye. “I don’t care what those slimy idiots think about you or me, because I love you and that’s all that matters.”
I smile at him. “I love you, too.”

OK!! I feel like this is really short now, but it was taking forever and I need to get it done sometime! Please forgive the wait, I hardly get any time to sit at the computer and just write. If you’ve ever tried to use the Tumblr phone app for making a post you’d see why I need my computer. 

anonymous asked:

Jily for the ship thing :)

Thanks anon! I loved this :)

  • who starts putting up decorations in october? James!
  • who buys the advent calendars? Lily but only because James is beside her in the supermarket looking at her with wide puppy eyes and his signature pout so Lily just rolls her eyes and buys five, one for James, one for Sirius, two for Remus and one for Peter. 
  • who places mistletoes all around the house? James because he’s a dork but Lily secretly loves it. Sirius also takes full advantage of this with Remus whenever they’re over. 
  • who wraps the presents for other people? Lily, James is a nightmare wrapping presents the muggle way, sellotape gets everywhere, the wrapping paper gets crumpled, it’s not pretty. 
  • who puts the final star/angel on the top of the christmas tree? James lifts Lily up to do it. And then in later years, he lifts Harry up to do it. 
  • who’s the one that hates eggnog? James. Lily loves it for some reason. Whenever she drinks it, James makes a horrid, disgusted face and scrunches up his nose. 
  • who’s the one that bakes christmas cookies for guests? James because yes, he’s so happy that people are visiting and it’s christmas!! The time of love and giving and he just wants to show his friends how much he cares. Lily always sneaks into the kitchen and swipes a few cookies along the way which James always pretends to be annoyed by but he’s never convincing because of that stupid smile on his face. 
  • who sends out the christmas cards? James! He actually has really fancy handwriting. He’d be amazing at calligraphy if he had the patience for it. 
  • who knows all the words to twelve days of christmas? Lily, she hums it under her breath weeks before christmas and gently hits anyone (Sirius) who says “but lily it’s not actually twelve days until christmas yet”
  • who’s the better snowman builder? They’re both awful but Lily’s big ball of mush looks better than James’s smaller ball of mush with a million accessories on top. 
  • who starts snowball fights? Lily! But the fight doesn’t really begin until she puts snow in his hair. THEN it turns into a snowball battle. 
  • who’s the one that wakes the other on christmas morning by playing christmas songs really loudly? Neither. They wake each other up with slow kisses and mumbles of ‘good morning’, ‘merry christmas love’ and ‘i love you’. They cuddle each other in the comfort and warmth of their blankets, content to spend the christmas morning in bed when suddenly christmas music blasts from downstairs. Lily closes her eyes and groans in annoyance while James yells, “PADFOOT!”. 

send me a ship

“We’ll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes,” said Professor Lupin. “Are you all right, Harry?“ 
Harry didn’t ask how Professor Lupin knew his name.

Okay Harry dear let me tell you how he knew your name:

  • He bought you your first knit sweater, it was red because he knew red brought out your mother’s eyes.
  • He was there when you got sick for the first time. He comforted your parents because he was the first person they called. “Moony come here right this second, Lily’s freaking out” 
  • During your first winter you liked being in his arms the best because he was warmer than the other Marauders
  • He took care of you so many times when mama and dada were having a date night
  • You were the only thing that made him as happy as chocolate after a particularly rough full moon
  • You liked to ran your little hands over his big scars, you were the second person he didn’t mind doing that. Sirius was the first
  • You made him smile even though there was a war going on and there wasn’t much to be happy about
  • All he wanted was you after he lost it all, he was denied that right.
  • He thought about you and all his friends on full moons, how all of them sat on the living room floor of the Potters and played with you, no one had died or betrayed each other
  • He knew your name Harry, because the moment he opened his eyes in that compartment, he thought James was sitting across him and they were back in their 3rd year.
  • He knew who you were because when he looked into your eyes to say “sit still” he saw Lily Evans’ eyes.
  • He knew your name, Harry, because you were all he had left as a reminder that everything they went through with Marauders were real.
  • And the worst part is you knew him,too. You loved him at one point and now you didn’t even recognise him. 
If you haven’t read the books
  • You won’t know that the Elder Wand was also called the Deathstick
  • Ron was actually a Prefect
  • Harry, Fred and George got a “life-long ban” from Umbridge after they attacked Malfoy on the pitch
  • Dumbledore hired a centaur named Firenze to teach Divination
  • Neville Longbotton could’ve been “The Chosen One” but Voldemort chose Harry
  • Fenrir Greyback was the werewolf who bit Remus Lupin as a child
  • Harry attended Bill and Fleur’s wedding disguised as Barny Weasley, a red-headed Weasley cousin
  • Lily was actually a few months older than James
  • While still alive, the Bloody Baron, who became the ghost of Slytherin House, was sent by Rowena Ravenclaw to retrieve her daughter, Helena, whom he was in love with. When Helena, who became the ghost of Ravenclaw House, refused to go with him, he became angry and stabbed her. Then, distraught with having killed her, he killed himself
  • Harry mended his own wand with the Elder Wand before he got rid of it
  • Harry, Ron and Hermione met Neville in St Mungos, who was visiting his parents and his Gran told them what happened to Alice and Frank 
  • The Potters’ had a cat
  • Harry got  miniature broom from Sirius for his first Birthday
  • Bathilda Bagshot was a friend of the Potters’

Listen. Harry James Potter was an accident. 

You cannot convince me otherwise. Lily and James were 19 when they got pregnant. There’s no way that was on purpose. 

Please picture it. 

Lily tells James they’re pregnant. James panics, leaves, finds the other Marauders and demands a lads night, you know, no reason, just some drunken shenanigans for no reason at all with friends! Remus notices something seems a bit off and keeps an eye on his friend, but no one says anything. It’s only several hours later, when James is drunkenly crying and wailing on the floor, “He’s going to be so small! How can I protect him? SO SMALL!” that they realize what’s going on. They ask him if he is going to be alright. He sobs, tears and snot running down his face, and nods furiously. “This is the happiest I have ever been!” The others look at each other, shake their heads, and pull him to his feet. Sirius marches him back home to Lily, who has been waiting, scared, alone, and more than a little pissed off at her boyfriend for the better part of the night. She softens when she sees James drunkenly leaning on Sirius, Sirius shrugging in apology, because James is a mess but at least he’s home now. James falls to his knees in front of her and says, “I’m so sorry I ran off. I got scared. I’m still scared. But I’m happy too.” Lily can’t help but smile. “It’s alright, James, we’ll figure–” But James loudly shushes her and points at her stomach. “Wait. I’m talking to my son.” Lily glares at him and reminds him that it could be a daughter. Sirius adds, “Could be twins! Or quintuplets!” Lily glares more and tries not to laugh while James murmurs into her belly, “’M gonna ask your mum to marry me, but keep it secret ‘cause I have to buy a ring first. And a broom. Not for the wedding. For you. Do you like quidditch? You probably don’t know what that is yet. Don’t worry. I’ll teach you. I’ll teach you everything.”

You requested Jily, so Jily it is!! This took freaking forever, im not good at drawing people in profile and decided to add a background too so I was literally drawing for hours and hours. They’re having a fancy little autumn picnic 🍂

Anyway, enjoy :)

sirius black (age 16-21)
  • wears eyeliner
  • always has a rubber band for his hair on his right wrist
  • got a muggle tattoo gun secondhand and enchanted it so he could make his tattoos move (see: a moon that changes shape according to the current phase)
  • loves boys
  • especially remus
  • people thought he was dating james for years - so much so that they were surprised when he was actually confirmed to be dating remus
  • likes stealing his boyfriend’s sweaters
  • braids lily’s hair and lets lily braid his
  • didn’t cut his hair at all over his first year at hogwarts; when he came back home over the summer (to get clothes before going to stay with the potters) his mom told him to cut it and his response was to never cut it again
  • can sing
  • wanted to start a band called ‘the marauders’
  • gives kisses to everyone when leaving a room, especially peter, because it makes him slightly uncomfortable
  • gives everyone matching marauders tattoos on their left shoulders
  • has asked both dumbledore and mcgonagall on dates
  • mcgonagall: get out of here and stop being ridiculous black
  • dumbledore: ah sirius i’ve already promised my heart to one james potter
  • paints his nails and got detention for flipping someone off after they told him it was ‘a girl thing’
  • has a reputation as a heartbreaker for some reason, when he’s never dated anyone
  • they seem to think he ‘leads them on’ when he’s been hung up on remus since their third year
  • used to scare frank longbottom, still doesn’t know why
  • hung a poster of a muggle girl for the following reasons
    • the fact that she was a muggle would piss off his parents
    • he knew they’d get even more pissed if he hung a poster of a muggle boy, but he wasn’t ready to tell them he was gay
  • has convinced his friends to go to muggle music festivals during the summer more then once, during which has gotten both flowers braided into his hair and into several fights
  • wants to kiss remus so badly sometimes his hands shake and his heart aches
  • nothing happens until remus has a particularly bad transformation and they’re sitting in the shrieking shack after he’s back to his human form and peter and james have gone to the kitchens to get food to bring back and he has his arm around remus’ shoulders and remus is leaning into him wrapped in a blanket and suddenly he looks up and sees sirius looking at him with an expression that looks like it belongs on the face of someone in a fucking nicholas sparks movie and he grabs sirius by the chin and kisses him hard and sirius is so shocked he doesn’t respond at all for half a second then he sighs into remus’ mouth and they make out for a solid fifteen minutes until james and peter come back with the food and they just hear from the door ‘jesus christ, i was worried they wouldn’t do it this year’ ‘shit, wormy, i owe you ten galleons’
  • obsesses over his best man duties when james asks him
  • feels both proud and slightly guilty that the other boys aren’t in the same position as him so he tries not to gloat
  • tries to get james to use sleekeazy’s hair potion at his wedding, fails
  • does lily’s hair and calm’s james’ nerves and ties remus’ tie and gets the dirt stain out of peter’s pants from where he fell thirty minutes before the ceremony
  • makes a killer fuckin speech with absolutely no editing or censorship and gets scandalized looks from family members but cheers from their hogwarts friends
  • loves his friends so so much and is willing to die for them
  • knows things are probably about to go to shit because they could all die any day now but for now relishes in the best day they’ve had and probably will have for a while
Lily Evans Potter.

Lily is nine.

It made her happy that she managed to revive a dying flower.

It made her unhappy that Tuney snatched it away and crushed it.

Lily is ten.

It made her happy that she’s made a new friend, his name is Severus.

It made her unhappy that Tuney said he was “a freak, just like her.”

Lily is eleven.

It made her happy that she was going off to Hogwarts, with Sev.

It made her unhappy that Petunia didn’t come to drop her off to King’s Cross.

Lily is twelve.

It made her happy that she’s rooming with Marlene, Mary, Alice and Dorcas, her best friends, besides Sev, of course.

It made her unhappy that Sev had started hanging out with Mulciber, Nott and Malfoy, he had been talking to her much less now.

Lily is thirteen.

It made her happy that she was top of almost all of her classes.

It made her unhappy that Potter and his friends bullied Severus, and that he’d called her a mudblood.

Lily is fourteen.

It made her happy that had formed a friendship with Remus, she couldn’t understand how someone that nice was always with Potter and Black.

It made her unhappy that Potter would not stop asking her out.

Lily is fifteen.

It made her happy that she had managed to finally forgive Po—James and Black, forming a tentative friendship with the both of them.

It made her unhappy that Severus wouldn’t even look at her anymore.

Lily is sixteen.

It made her happy that James had finally plucked up the courage to kiss her,

It made her unhappy that there was a war looming.

Lily is seventeen.

It made her happy that she could cuddle with James by the Gryffindor fireplace, making fun of Sirius and Marlene for being caught in the broom cupboard, while Remus, Peter, Dorcas and Alice laughed openly.

It made her unhappy that there always was an empty spot for Mary, who’s Muggle parents didn’t let her come back for their last year because it was too dangerous.

Lily is eighteen.

It made her happy that she married James, at the Order headquarters. Marlene was her maid of honour, Sirius was James’ best man, Dumbledore officiated the wedding and Remus walked her down the aisle.

It made her unhappy that her family couldn’t make it due to safety reason, and Petunia had sent back the letter telling her about the wedding, back unopened.

Lily is nineteen.

It made her happy that she was pregnant and James wanted to make Sirius and Marlene the godparents.

It made her unhappy that four days after their announcement, Mar was found dead in her apartment. Sirius had hugged her, tight, and they’d cried the whole night.

Lily is twenty.

It made her happy that she had James and her four kids, Harry, Sirius, Remus and Peter. Alice and Frank had a baby boy too.

It made her unhappy that a prophecy had marked her baby for death, and they had to go into hiding.

Lily is twenty-one.

It made her happy that, even as she saw the green light, she knew her baby boy would survive.

It made her unhappy that she would never see him grow up.