1. Eating Humpback whale mucus. We were on a small boat in the Pacific ocean, downwind from a mother humpback whale (nursing her week-old calf) and she exhaled, and it landed on my cheesies. I made the conscious decision to eat it. (Off the coast of Costa Rica, Aug 2011)
2. Riding 7km across the icy bay in a Qamatiq, crammed in with 5 other people, and having the cool icy water splashed in my face (Nunavut, June 2014).
3. Zip lining across a 10,000 ft gorge from Italy to France, with my skis strapped to my back (Les Trois Vallee, Feb 2014).
4. TATINOF and meeting Dan and Phil (Atlanta, April 2016).
5. The Saturday night of the 15 year celebration of Harry Potter in Harry Potter Orlando - my sister, her partner at the time, and I had special VIP passes, which included a private party with an attendance of 1000 people, with food and drinks included, and the entire park opened only to us. We rode the two rollercoasters there, with only us three on the ride. The weather was perfect - 25 celcius and the clear sky lit with stars. It really was a magical evening (January 2011).
I asked a favor from my friend and from my sister.
My sister sent me a email detailing everything that is wrong with my life, why I am a mess and telling me I should solve my own problems.
I wish she had just sent a “No, I can’t help you.”
My friend send me an email saying: “Yes, I will help you. Tell me what you need.”
Sometimes friends and even strangers can be kinder to you than your own family and for this I am grateful.
It truly saddens me though that the people who should always be there to love and support you do not always do it.
I will never understand this thing that happens with me where I will really not like or just not be able to get into a song or artist or book etc for years.
And then out of nowhere I hear/experience/try reading the song/artist/book again and it’s the exact thing I need in my life at that moment and it’s like seeing god or infinity or something/experiencing a peace and wholeness and connection to the everything.
Right now it’s Sufjan Stevens/Illinoise.
I feel like a chump for not getting into this earlier but after years of this happening I’ve learned not to beat myself up about it because I realize now that you cannot force a revelation.
I don’t know if it’s a little bit early to reminisce on my high school experiences because I’m always thinking.
Even though, to be quiet honest I did not have the best high school experiences (which explains why I rlly dont feel like celebrating it w my high school peers) I might as well share with you all life lessons I have learned/gained from my high experiences.
1. You learn a lot about yourself when you’re in a relationship.
2. Your mental disorder/s is not an excuse to be toxic and manipulative.
3. Sometimes you just have to let things go.
4. Also, let go of people who prove that they no longer deserve a place in your life. They may still occupy a place in your heart, but don’t ever let that loneliness be the reason why you let that person back in.
5. People show love differently.
6. If the person doesn’t reciprocate the feelings, move on. Don’t waste your time trying to convince that person you’re worthy of their love.
7. It’s okay to lose friends. Friends come and go.
8. Senior year is the year you start to realize who your true friends are.
9. You’ll start to realize that maybe you’re a bit more mature than most of your high school peers. That’s okay.
10. Sometimes you need a break from social media.
11. Taking the time to recharge after an exhausting day of social interactions is okay.
12. Not everyone is going to give the advice you’re looking for/need. That’s okay, it doesn’t mean their advice is horrible it just means people have different ways of dealing with situations.
13. Not everyone needs to know your business.
14. You will meet better people in your life.
15. You’re not wrong for asserting yourself every once and a while.
16. It’s okay to not have everything planned out.
17. You probably didn’t have a lot of social status in high school but at least you knew who really fuck you and who didn’t.
18. It’s okay if you feel comfortable conversing with adults rather than your high school peers.
19. Grades do not define intelligence.
20. Being alone/doing things alone is okay sometimes.
21. Relationships and sex can be great. However, they should not be the sole focus of your life.
22. Sometimes its best to do things in modesty rather than shout what you’re planning to do and end up not doing it at all.
Sometimes once you’ve crossed certain roads in your life……. it can be a gamble to revisit them whether it be in regular discussion or as inspiration. The reason i say gamble is because you could be at peace with whatever it may be and not get triggered to go down that emotional lane again or you just might end up reliving it all over again.
The term ‘friendzone’ wasn’t around when I was in college, but I would have recognized it in an instant. I spent my first two years of college as good friends with two young women that I desperately wanted a romantic relationship with, and got to watch other friends dealing with similar situations. (Occasionally, with the same women that I was chasing.)
I learned some things from those relationships:
Just because she’s your type, doesn’t mean you’re her type.
Just because you want a romantic relationship doesn’t mean she does.
“I’m not ready for a relationship right now” means “I don’t want the relationship you’re looking for, with you, right now.”
Sometimes, the reason she’s single is that she’s waiting for someone who isn’t you.
Your interest in her is not sufficient reason for her to have a relationship with you, just like your interest in a particular company is not sufficient reason for them to give you a job.
It has nothing to do with nice guys vs. jerks. It sometimes has everything to do with soi-disant nice guys being jerks.
It’s okay to want a relationship with someone. It’s okay to want a relationship with someone you’re friends with. It’s not okay to pretend not to want a relationship in order to stay friends with them. If you can’t handle just being friends with her, wish her the best and move on.
There is no ‘friend zone’. There’s just times when you aren’t paying attention to the above list.
Sometimes I feel like there are parts of my work that the audience doesn’t quite understand the purpose for. Like, that my experiences were so different from the common experience that I’m just coming from a different place.
People say I break into tears unexpectedly, but that’s not true. It’s always expected. Every time people talk about him kindly. As if he were the one to be broken down and torn apart. As if he were the one to be reduced to less than nothingness, as if he knew what it was like for someone to break his mobile on his mother’s birthday so he couldn’t call. As if that were the last birthday he was able to celebrate with her. It’s always expected. At the mention of his name or at 4.17 pm on Fridays, I cry. Because sometimes it was easier to cry in the beginning than to hold out until the end. It’s expected. Yet I wish I could live in the unexpectedness that they live in. I would love to take my mobile off military time and see the numbers flashing 3.12 when the sun is out. I would love to ride the underground again. I would love to live in the ‘before’ of my life instead of the ‘after’ of you. I wasn’t unstable and expectedly unexpected then.
a year ago today i made one of the best decisions in my life yet: moving out.
living on your own is amazing -yeah, at first is tough, and you feel weird and you might feel a bit homesick too- but nothing compares to the feeling of knowing that you are the true owner of your life: you choose what to eat, how to decorate the rooms, you can organise dinner parties, you don’t need to stay at somebody else’s place if you go out at night, etc
during this year that went by extremely fast i learnt a lot about myself and running your own place (which is not easy, but not impossible) so now i can’t really imagine myself going back to the family life routine or living with someone else. i feel i must enjoy the solitude i have to learn even more
so if you’re planning to move out or you have the means but you’re in doubt, DO IT. it’s a fantastic feeling and a way to face life from a different perspective: your own