Life-101

An Escort’s Favorite Products and Their Hoe Uses

For those that have asked about my self-care regimen, here are my favorite products and their uses! I’ll definitely update this as I get more escorting experience and my product selection grows. 

Body

I have sensitive, weird skin. I’m allergic to almost all BBW products. Here are the things I love! 

  • Aloe Vera Baby Oil - Shaving the cooch
  • Tend Skin - Prevents razor burn after shaving the cooch
  • Neutrogena Body Clear Scrub - Exfoliates and gets rid of random bumps
  • Aveeno Therapeutic Shave Gel - For a soft, super close shave on your legs
  • Lollia Perfumed Shower Gel - All of their scents smell amazing and they leave behind a muted scent. Plus, it’s very thick so a little bit goes a long way. Seriously, a quarter sized dollop is enough to get foamy suds over your entire body!
  • Lollia Hand Creme - Will give you the smoothest, softest hands ever. Especially important for touching wieners. 
  • Intimore Intimate Wash - My favorite wash for cleaning the vag. ALL of their varieties are safe for sensitive skin and they have great uses. The Therapeutic wash is great if you’ve been fucked raw. Very soothing!
  • Lush Sugar Scrub - Great for exfoliating, it leaves your skin very bright and radiant and it is supposed to reduce the appearance of cellulite!
  • Nip + Fab Glycolic Fix Extreme Pads - I use these to get rid of weird bumps or razor burn on my legs after shaving. Will literally clear up those weird clear bumps that aren’t quite whiteheads or pimples. 
  • Kiehl’s Soy Milk & Honey Whipped Body Butter - Will leave your entire body smoother than a baby’s butt and the scent is very light. Super hydrating. I use this every night after a hot bath. I also use this to moisturize my cooch. YES, YOU CAN AND SHOULD MOISTURIZE YOUR COOCH. It’s okay! Try it!
  • Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs - It’s like foundation for your legs! It comes in either a squeeze bottle or mist. I use the squeeze bottle more because the mist WILL STAIN your bathroom tile or toilet, if you prop your leg on it to spray. 
  • St. Tropez Express Bronzing Mousse with Mitt - I used this for the first time last night because my spray tan was wearing off. It gives a really natural tan and you only have to leave it on 1-3 hours, depending on how dark you want to go, before rinsing! I left mine on for a little less than two hours and I have a nice, NATURAL looking tan glow! 

Hair

I’m a light ashy blonde with frizzy, unmanageable hair. Here are my top picks for products. 

  • Batiste Dry Shampoo - Absolute BEST dry shampoo and it’s super affordable. Very fine powder. It comes in a bunch of varities, I like the sleek and shine the most. 
  • AG Hair Cosmetics Sterling Silver Shampoo - Great purple shampoo for blondes. 
  • Davines Alchemic Conditioner - They have different formulas for different hair colors. I use the purple conditioner for blondes and it’s a great purple mask that tones and deep conditions. 
  • Kerastase Shampoo & Conditioner - Comes in a ton of varities. I use the ones for damaged hair and frizzy hair. BEST shampoo and conditioners I have ever used. It doesn’t take much product and every product does what it says it will. 
  • Kerastase Fluidissime Blow Dry Spray - For frizzy or curly hair. It gives heat protection, shine and smoothness. I use this when I want my hair to be super straight or I want to style it after blow drying. 
  • Kerastase L’ncroyable Blow Dry - Most amazing blow dry lotion ever. Seriously. Now my most used product. 
  • Kerastase Ciment Thermique - Protecting blow dry lotion for damaged/colored hair. 
  • Davines Melu Serum - For disguising split ends. Also adds shine. 
  • Davines Minu Mask - Illuminating hair mask used to add back shine and dimension
  • Carol’s Daughter Monoi Mask - Great for softness and hydration. Smells amazing. Probably my favorite mask. 
  • Kerastase Masqueintense - Second favorite hair mask. It’s ultra smoothing and revitalizes your hair. 
  • Kerastase Elixir Ultime - Great hair oil! Lighter than Morrocanoil with the same benefits, though the smell isn’t as nice. 
  • Shu Uemura Straight Forward - Great blowdry spray oil. It really does cut down the amount of time it takes to blow out your hair. I use this with the Kerastase Incredible Blowdy. 

Skin Care

I have sensitive, combination skin. I used to get random hormonal acne. 

  • Glamglow ThirstyMud - Great for hydration and smells amazing. You can use it as rinse off or a sleeping mask.
  • Glamglow Flashmud - Brightening, revitalizing mask. I use this on my butt to help get rid of a few blemish scars. No, I am not joking. Yes, it is actually working. 
  • Glamglow Thirstycleanse - Amazing mud cleanser for whenever my skin is feeling a little dry or needs some nourishment. 
  • Glamglow Supercleanse - My favorite cleanser ever. It’s a mud-oil dual pump and it takes off every BIT of make up and keeps your skin super clear! Plus, it’s not drying!
  • Peter Thomas Roth BHA 2% Acne Wash - For if I feel a breakout coming on. One bottle will likely last you over a year. 
  • Peter Thomas Roth Blemish Buffing Beads - Great for body acne.
  • Glamglow Fizzy Lip - Great exfoliating lip scrub, plus you get twice as much product as most other lip scrubs. 
  • Glamglow Wet Lip - Intense softening lip treatment. You should definitely be using both of these to get seductive, soft, kissable lips! 
  • Sunday Riley Luna Sleeping Oil - I use this at night before bed. It’s anti-aging, moisturizing, clarifying, fights wrinkles and reduces pore size. 
  • Sunday Riley Good Genes Serum - I use this in the morning and it makes my skin look superb. Best skin product I’ve ever had. It brightens, exfoliates, gives radiance and evens out hyperpigmentation. 
  • Clarins HydraQuench Intensive Serum Bi-Phase - I use this serum as my moisturizer and it keeps my skin super nourished! It doesn’t clog up your pores and hydrates your dry areas. Definitely the best moisturizer I’ve ever used.
Adulting 101

I’m going to start posting a weekly blurb called “Adulting 101″. Basically a list of 10 things that I have learned since I started living on my own, the list changing every week. I’m also going to @ two of you lovely followers each week because I see ya’ll reblogging everything I post and ya’ll make me feel special.

Today big shout out to @lifehacksthatwork and @b1polar-thoughts. Please go love them! And without further ado…

1. Important documents. One of the first things you should do before you move out is get all your important documents from your parents/guardians. I’m talking your Social Security Card, Birth Certificate, high school or college transcripts, banking information, etc. Trust me.

2. Get a store discount card. I save an average of $20 per $100 shop at Stop & Shop and as of today I’ve saved $125 at CVS.

3. Buy herbs. Herbs like basil, rosemary, and thyme are very easy to maintain and yield a big bang for their buck. They are cheap, hardy and easy to cook with!

4. Wash those sheets. Wash your sheets once a week (if you can afford it), it will really make a difference in your skin care.

5. Help your bathroom. Always, always, always leave your door or window open after you shower. Black mold is no joke and is easily preventable but not easy to eliminate. I leave my bathroom window open in the summer and my door open in the winter.

6. Freeze everything. I buy in bulk, separate into meal portions, and then defrost as needed. Waste not, want not! I do this with loaves of bread, cookies, meat, etc.

7. Buy xmas lights. I have xmas lights strung up year round, they’re cheap and really brighten my apartment up. 

8. Have pet, will lint roller. If you have a pet, get a lint roller. Seriously. There’s nothing worse than going to an important interview or event and realizing that you look like your cat’s mutated half-human sister.

9. Posters are cheap, frames are expensive. Frames are sometimes three times the price of the poster! And what’s worse is that the cheaper frames fall apart almost instantly and look terrible. 

10. Late night worries. If you’re out late at night worried about your safety use an app to share your location with a friend. Those with Iphones can actually just “share my location” on a friend’s contact page or use “Find My Friends”. It This is something I do all the time

When you truely love someone that means you are all in 100%. You arent just in it for the pretty parts and fun times. You are there when things get dark and scary and dismal. You stay
—  PhoenixRysin
Adulting 103

I apologize for being MIA, I’m on vacation with the future father of my children. I hope ya’ll had a safe and happy holiday season and are looking forward to the new year as much as I am.

This week please send love to: @laurenashley96 and @thedarklordpanda

1. Automatic payments. Don’t enroll in automatic bill payments unless you’re extremely comfortable with the company. This will prevent companies from charing your bank account or credit card extra without your consent. For example, I’m confident that Birchbox won’t overcharge me, but have less faith in Verizon. 

2. First aid kit. Purchasing a first aid kit should be one of the first things you do when moving out. They generally cost around $25 and include items such as cold compresses, burn cream, and more bandaids then you will ever need. I purchased one when I first moved out and it lasted me 2 and ½ years before I needed to replenish it. 

3. Dishwasher wanted. Real talk- having a dishwasher has changed my life. I used to spend forty-five minutes to an hour doing dishes every day, sometimes twice a day. Now I spend fifteen minutes.

4. Pee after sex! Ladies, UTIs are no joke. Get in the habit of peeing or showering after sex to minimize your risk. 50% of women will get them in their lifetime, and the medication will fuck with your birth control. Guys can get UTIs too!

5. Milk. More expensive doesn’t always mean higher quality, but in the case of milk it makes a huge difference. Organic milk lasts significantly longer than any milk you can purchase for under $2. Like, over a week longer.

6. Winter-proof. Is your apartment freezing? Winter-proof your windows! You can buy sheets of “window plastic” to seal off gaps, cracks, etc. These will make a huge difference in your apartment’s temperature.

7. Scented trash bags. Are literally the same price as regular trash bags, but help keep your trash smelling manageable. 

8. Chalkboard paint. This is a wonderful invention that turns your boring walls into one continuous canvas. Get your landlord’s permission and know that you will be required to repaint before moving out.

9. Shopping list. Keep a piece of scrap paper in your kitchen and jot down any items/produce you may run out of during the week. When it’s time to go shopping, you’ll already have most of your list completed.

10. Food hygiene. Rewrap/repackage your deli meats and cheeses a few days after purchasing them. Wrapping paper has a shorter shelf life than the products themselves and will cause them to spoil early.

Adulting 105

This week I’m giving a shoutout to my fav person ever @poorpersonsgiude. You go girl! Also @stormfallss for lighting up my phone for over two hours the other night. Thanks for the love.

1. Keep paper bills. Bills such as internet, rent, and utility for up to five months. These help prove residency, which will be useful when applying for Medicaid, in-state tuition, and for some jobs. If you’re not receiving any sort of paper bills, keep pay stubs with your address on them instead.

2. Cheap salt. Never spend more than a dollar on salt. Seriously. Chain supermarkets and dollar stores will sell large quantities of it to you for 99 cents. You’re not the Queen of Sheba- you don’t need $5 salt.

3. Wooden floors. If any part of you apartment/dorm room has a wooden floor, consider buying Bona Hardwood Cleaner. It’s a little pricey, but my last squeeze bottle lasted me just short of a year. It’s the best wood cleaner around.

4. Postage stamps. You don’t have to go to your local post office to buy stamps (which is great because sometimes it’s not “local” at all). You can purchase them at pharmacy centers like CVS or Rite Aid, as well as large chain supermarkets such as Stop & Shop and Walmart. 

5. Moisturizers. Pick up at least one moisturizer to save your hands during these long winter months. If you’re a newbie just buy Gold Bond, it’s cheap and good for everything except your face. 

6. Shower heads. If you have a terrible apartment shower head with no water pressure buy yourself a better one. There a color changing shower heads on Amazon that I personally swear by. Just be sure to keep the original shower head and to replace it when you move out.

7. Keep your student ID card. Even after you stop attending school. You’ll still be able to receive student discounts at places like museums and cinemas. They have no way of knowing if you’re still a student. What are they gonna do- call your school? I do this all the time! 

8. Yankee Candle. Is so expensive, but it’s the only candle really worth buying. I’ve tried all sorts of discount candles from dollar stores and even from Target, but none of them smell even half as good as Yankee Candle.

9. Reminders. Forgetting important things such as bill payments, birthdays, or contraceptives? Set alarms and reminders on your Iphone to help you stay on top. I personally hate the Iphone calendar app so I downloaded Cozi (it’s free) and I use that instead.

10. Clean that fridge. Try to purge your fridge out at least once a month. There’s nothing more disgusting than food so decomposed that you can’t discern what it once was. The general rule of thumb about leftovers is if you don’t eat it within the next two days you won’t ever eat it. Try to give your fridge a sponge bath every three months, the shelves are easy to remove and I just wash them in my sink.

You teach people how to treat you by what you continue to allow & reinforce and what you decide not to take and either put a stop to or simply walk away.
—  Life 101 (PhoenixRysin - blogger)
Adulting 102

Welcome ya’ll to this weeks Adulting Masterpost! This week has been a mixed bag for me. As in, I have laryngitis but also a new job opportunity, and how I got either is beyond me. 

Shout out this week goes to @marshmallowdoritos and @quyenforthewin! Please go love them. 

1. Cactus decor. Cacti are super easy to maintain (most only need to be watered once a week) and look great anywhere you put them. Buy them from a supermarket that also sells plants as opposed to a nursery because they will be cheaper. 

2. Buy Febreze. Unexpected visitors are lovely, but not when your apartment smells like a baboon’s armpit. Febreze is affordable and lasts a long time, I use it on a weekly basis because I have two cats that love pooping when I have guests.

3. Baking Soda and vinegar are your one-stop cleaning solution for everything. Clogged drains, shower heads, cat pee stains, etc. 

4. Ladies. Have sex while on you’re period. I can’t explain why, but it will be the best sex you ever had. Science side of Tumblr please explain.

5. First floor apartments suck. I lived in a first floor apartment for a year and a half and literally will never live in one again. They’re freezing in the winter and damp in the summer. Don’t waste your time!

6. Can’t pay your electric? I was in serious to debt to my local apartment (after living in a first floor apartment) and told them that I was unable to pay my $850 debt because it was more than my month’s rent. They worked with me and put me on a special program called POP where they paid off my debt for me, so long as I continued my regular monthly payments. There are options, you just need to ask and be persistent

7. Don’t by olive oil. It’s sometimes three times as expensive as other oils like canola or vegetable oil. High quality olive oil can run you up to $25, if you’re buying olive oil for $4 then chances are it’s heavily diluted. 

8. Swiffer. Swiffer mops take up very little space in your closet, and you can buy store brand mop pads for a fraction of the Swiffer brand price. I’m especially partial to Shoprites pads, they smell so damn good.

9. Beaded curtain. Small apartment? Throw a beaded curtain in the hallway to make your apartment seem larger.

10. File your taxes as an Independent. Your parents are receiving a tax break if you’re filing as a dependent under them, but that tax break hurts you. You will end up paying more taxes in the long run, because the government thinks that your parents still support you. File as an independent if you are no longer living with them and supporting yourself, they loose the tax break but you (the starving college student) will not be charged as much by the state.