Honestly, there are so many personal insecurities that can be remedied by a good old-fashioned existential crisis. For example, the reason that “just be yourself” has never worked for you isn’t because you’re fundamentally awful, but because there’s no “yourself” for you to be. All identities are constructed and unitary selfhood is an illusion - whee!
One of those unfortunate “givens” in life is that not everyone makes it from the beginning to end of your journey. Those who once rooted for you from day one don’t always make it to the finish line with you. It’s pretty shitty, but it’s just shit that happens to everyone. When I started college I thought I had solidified my friend group, but by the end of it, I realized I was wrong. The truth is everyone is gonna change and not everyone’s going to be on the same page in life. Some people you learn to let go because that separation is necessary in order for each of you to grow independently. Maybe y’all will cross paths again in the future, but you never truly know. That’s the part that makes it all scary. It’s also hard to keep in touch with everyone when you’re practically in a long distance relationship with everyone you once knew. Some people I just drifted away from, some I actively had to end a relationship with, and some passed away. It’s difficult to be thousands of miles away from those you give a shit about when things like this happen. Although losing people is an unfortunate life event, you ultimately make room for others who will come in later in life. I’m not exactly religious or anything, but in a way I do believe that everyone serves the time they had in your life for a reason.
I haven’t written a post like this in forever so I’m a little bit rusty. However, I took some time to brainstorm things I think are important when it comes to being a total boss and taking your life in a positive direction. I tried to explain why a little bit but the most important parts are bolded.
take care of yourself (self care/love) - this is important in general because if you don’t take care of yourself by just doing the basics, how can you fully achieve your goals? I mean of course you could… But I would like to imagine it won’t feel as good as it possibly could if you’re in bad health mentally/physically/emotionally.
fight back against negative thoughts - this is one of the hardest things for me to do especially. It’s so easy when you’re depressed or something doesn’t go as planned to start feeding yourself negatives things about yourself. So whenever you notice your negative thoughts wiggling their way in stop them and tell them to shut up and leave you alone. Everyone is allowed to make mistakes, and there will be times in life where you’re on a downward spiral, but that doesn’t give you the right to put yourself down.
hustle/set goals and take steps to achieve them - make a list of all your major goals in life or for a time span (5 years etc). Research the steps to achieve them and write down how you want to go about those steps. And most importantly start now. Because if not now when? Don’t assume you’re too young (or even too old) to go after your dreams.
work to get the appearance you want - seriously start a workout plan and edit your daily diet if you feel you need to drop a few pounds, tone your body etc. If you’ve got extra money (or save up) go shopping to buy some clothes that will give you the look you want (‘baddie’, professional, edgy etc). Get a new haircut… hopefully, you get the idea.
know when to quit (not give up) - in my opinion, there’s a difference between quitting and giving up. Part of you being on your A-game means knowing what battles to fight and what battles to leave alone.