so my sister found this old letter she wrote me when we were younger
I don’t really know how to tell you this, but You’re a Leprechaun I think I realized it last year when you wet your pants at the Elton John concert and I saw you sit in the elephant in the corner. I’m sure you’re scarred enough to understand how awful you are. I’m returning your car to you, but I’ll keep your photo with the moustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I told about the moose poaching and I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an eskimo.
I’m not the person that I used to be. None of my exes would be able to identify me. I’ve grown flowers in a garden once filled with tainted soil. I think differently, I love differently, I fuck differently, I express myself differently. And I drink a hell of a lot more. I am more courageous about taking risks with my time and my future. I am softer to strangers and those I hold dearest. I am more optimistic even though I know I will always be a realist at heart.
Despite all of the growth, I am not yet the person I want to be. I will plant many more seeds in my garden of growth. I will embrace compassion. I will strive for empathy. I will take more time to be understanding. I will allow myself moments of reflection on the ways I have grown, but only long enough to grant myself the inspiration to become who I want to be.
Statistically, it’s “rare” to be born with red hair. Less than 2% of the world population have red hair. And still, nobody would seriously look my beautiful wife in the eyes and tell her “Oh, come on, red hair? That sounds fake. Isn’t that like super rare anyway? You’re just trying to be special.”. That would be ridiculous.
Yes, red hair is “rare” - there are only, like, 140 million people with red hair.
It’s statistically just as (un)likely to have red hair as it is to be intersex. The only difference is that “Isn’t that super rare, tho” seems to be a valid way to shoot down any discussion about only one of those two groups of people.
And that old “only 1% of all people are asexual” argument? Well, yeah, that’s over 70 million people.
“Rare”, when it comes to gender or identity, often translates to “actually lots and lots of people but they don’t fit in my world view, so shut up about them”.
Even if some people think of you as rare, you still deserve respect.
You can be a little bit attracted to people of a certain gender.
Attraction is not always a big “Wow, I love girls, all girls are so perfect, I constantly have girl crushes.”
It can be “I like girls but I rarely really have a intense crush on one”.
It can be “I don’t really fall in love at all but when I fantasize about romantic scenarios, I always imagine girls.”
It can even be “Wow, I love boys.. But yeah, sometimes I do like a girl, too”.
That doesn’t mean you’re faking or that you’re just confused - and it certainly doesn’t mean you are “stealing” anyone’s label.
If you could describe your attraction as “a little bit” or “weak” or “rarely”, you can choose a label that reflects this but you don’t need to.
An example for that: A girl who rarely feels a low level of attraction to girls and feels no attraction to boys could say she’s on the aromantic spectrum and choose a word like “grey-homoromantic”. Or she could identify as a lesbian. Neither of those options would be a lie!