Nico: Aah, an afternoon alone with my favorite book, “Broadway Musicals of the 1940s.” No roommate to bother me. How could it get any better than this?
Jason: Oh,hi Nico!
Nico: Hi Jason
Jason: Hey Nico, you’ll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me
Nico: That’s very interesting.
Jason: He was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to me. I think he might’ve thought I was gay!
Nico: Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don’t care. What did you have for lunch today?
Jason: Oh, you don’t have to get all defensive about it.
Nico: I’m NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I’m trying to read.
Jason: Oh, I didn’t mean anything by it, Nico. I just think it’s something we should be able to talk about.
Nico: I don’t want to talk about it, Jason! This conversation is over!!!
Jason: Yeah, but…
Jason: Well, okay, but just so you know — IF YOU WERE GAY THAT’D BE OKAY. I MEAN ‘CAUSE, HEY, I’D LIKE YOU ANYWAY. BECAUSE YOU SEE, IF IT WERE ME, I WOULD FEEL FREE TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY (BUT I’M NOT GAY.)
Piper: Take me for what I am. Who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn, take me baby or leave me. No way, can I be what I’m not, but hey, don’t you want your girl hot? Oh, don’t fight, don’t loose your head ’cause every night who’s in your bed? Who? Who’s in your bed? Kiss pookie
Annabeth: It won’t work, I look before I leap. I love margins and discipline. I make list in my sleep baby, whats my sin? Never quit. I follow through. I hate mess but I love you. What do with my improptu baby? So be wise ‘cause this girl satisfies. You got a prize but don’t compromise your one lucky baby!
Jason: Agony! Far more painful than yours, When you know she would go with you if there only were doors.
Jason and Percy: Agony! Oh, the torture they teach!
Jason: What’s as intriguing-
Percy: Or half so fatiguing-
Jason and Percy: As what’s out of reach?
Calypso: I used to dream that I would meet a prince. But God Almighty, have you seen what’s happened since? Master of the house? Isn’t worth my spit! Comforter, philosopher’ and lifelong shit! Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire, thinks he’s quite a lover but there’s not much there. What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse. God knows how I’ve lasted living with this bastard in the house!
Leo: Master of the house!
Calypso: Master and a half!
Leo: Comforter, philosopher
Calypso: Don’t make me laugh!
Leo: Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Calypso: Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
Everyone: Everybody bless the landlord! Everybody bless his spouse!
Leo:Everybody raise a glass
Calypso: Raise it up the master’s arse
Everybody: Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!