Leelah Alcorn's Suicide Note

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A few hours before 17-year-old Leelah Alcorn killed herself on 28 December 2014, she posted a suicide note on Tumblr. In it she described how since the age of 4 she felt “like a girl trapped in a boy’s body,” but didn’t tell anyone for almost 10 years.

“When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.

“My mom started taking me to a therapist, but would only take me to christian therapists, (who were all very biased) so I never actually got the therapy I needed to cure me of my depression. I only got more christians telling me that I was selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help.”

Alcorn was removed from school by her parents, who also tried to prevent her from “any sort of social media, completely isolating me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself. I was completely alone for 5 months. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.“

“There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.

“That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s good enough for me.”

Alcorn ended her note with a plea to make her death meaningful, to treat transgender people with respect who are like everyone else, “with valid feelings and human rights.”

The kind of conversion therapy Alcorn was submitted to is now illegal for minors in 9 states and 27 cities.

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Today i am angry for multiple reasons. I decided to be a stupid little shit and read some of the comments on a link to Leelah Alcorns suicide note. I wish I hadn’t. I had to eventually stop scrolling down to stop myself full on screaming. None of this is ok. I don’t care if they think it’s a joke, if they don’t mean anything by it, just some ‘harmless fun’, NONE OF THIS IS OK. A 17 YEAR OLD GIRL IS FUCKING DEAD BECAUSE OF SHITTERS LIKE YOU. People say stuff like ‘one less faggit’ ‘more air for for us’ ‘the gay sinner won’t be missed’ NO. NONONONONO. THAT IS NOT OK IN ANY WAY. This girl is dead and you think it’s ok to say shit like that? I find all these people so infuriating, and even worse is the fact that these were the majority of comments on the link. I’m not blurring out any names. If I could I’d march up to every one of these fuckers houses and sit them down and talk some sense into them, but I can’t so I just want to let at least my followers know who they are. The next thing thats infuriating me is Leelah Alcorns fucking mother. I don’t know how many people saw the status she put up but it basically said ‘today, my 16 year old son was out for a walk and was hit by a car’. ok. Hold the fuck up. I have a few corrections. Your 17 (that’s right, she forget leelahs age. Her own child. She took 1-2 days to realise she had made a mistake and change it) year old DAUGHTER called LEELAH committed SUICIDE TODAY BECAUSE YOU FUCKING DROVE HER TO IT AND THE WORST PART IS YOU WONT EVEN SEE WHAT YOU DID WRONG AND OWN UP TO WHAT YOU DID I know you are experiencing a tragic loss but I DONT CARE WHAT YOU DID WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE LADY AND LEELAH DESERVED SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT SHE GOT FROM YOU. SHE DESERVED TO BE LOVED AND TREATED LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS AND I’m so so sorry that you never saw that. Please. I’m begging you, if you can’t accept a child for who they are then don’t have children. They deserve so much better than you. Everyone always warns children about keeping away from bullies in school but no one ever teaches them how to keep away from bullies when they are the people who are meant to love you the most in this world.

anonymous asked:

Who's zander? What happened?

Zander was a transmale individual who committed suicide last Sunday, and like Leelah Alcorn, is being misgendered. His suicide note requested that he be remembered by his correct name and pronouns, so his friends are attempting to spread awareness with the Tumblr blog ripzander.

Suicide note from Leelah Alcorn

If you are reading this, it means that I have committed suicide and obviously failed to delete this post from my queue.

Please don’t be sad, it’s for the better. The life I would’ve lived isn’t worth living in… because I’m transgender. I could go into detail explaining why I feel that way, but this note is probably going to be lengthy enough as it is. To put it simply, I feel like a girl trapped in a boy’s body, and I’ve felt that way ever since I was 4. I never knew there was a word for that feeling, nor was it possible for a boy to become a girl, so I never told anyone and I just continued to do traditionally ‘boyish’ things to try to fit in.

When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.

My mom started taking me to a therapist, but would only take me to christian therapists, (who were all very biased) so I never actually got the therapy I needed to cure me of my depression. I only got more Christians telling me that I was selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help.

When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn’t receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.

I formed a sort of a 'f*** you’ attitude towards my parents and came out as gay at school, thinking that maybe if I eased into coming out as trans it would be less of a shock. Although the reaction from my friends was positive, my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight christian boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted.

So they took me out of public school, took away my laptop and phone, and forbid me of getting on any sort of social media, completely isolating me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself. I was completely alone for 5 months. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.

At the end of the school year, my parents finally came around and gave me my phone and let me back on social media. I was excited, I finally had my friends back. They were extremely excited to see me and talk to me, but only at first. Eventually they realized they didn’t actually give a s**t about me, and I felt even lonelier than I did before. The only friends I thought I had only liked me because they saw me five times a week.

After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like s**t because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say 'it gets better’ but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.

That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s good enough for me. As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a s**t which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say 'that’s f***ed up’ and fix it. Fix society. Please.

Goodbye,

(Leelah) Josh Alcorn

If her parents try to take this off my blog, I will sue for first amendment rights.

R.I..P. Leelah

jorjor08  asked:

(1/2) I don't have a question so much as a thank you. A thank you to the one president who was willing to be a voice for LGBT+ individuals. I have spent the better part of the past 6 years that President Obama has been in office doing exactly what the quote posted on Tumblr described. In the past 2 years however, I have come to an acceptance of myself and come out to my family and friends. While some reacted to the news better than others, every day it gets better.

Thank YOU for your comment and for your courage in learning to accept yourself. You know, in her suicide note, Leelah Alcorn wrote, “People say ‘it gets better’ but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.” Here’s the thing you and I know: It DOES get better… but only if we all work together to MAKE it better. That takes families and community leaders. It takes elected officials and health professionals. And it takes people like you. By coming out to your family and friends, you are changing America for the better. So, seriously. Thank you. -Dr. Murthy