Le sigh

I miss the 2000s because there were so many fashion trends and moments when it was encouraged to look like a hot-ass mess. The Instagram age is this weird era of control and perfection and “eyebrows on fleek” blah blah like I miss when everyone walked around with last night’s eyeliner still on while wearing 25 stupid accessories at once dressed like you slept in trash or whatever.

Sometimes I think about what Teen Wolf could have been

Lydia and Allison being badasses together, rolling their eyes at the boys together, having sleepovers and lending each other outfits because “here, you got blood on your last sweater” and “this dress has pockets for extra arrowheads.”

Scott huffing a sigh when Stiles jokes about making out during movie night (finally watching Star Wars), and then Stiles shrieks and spills popcorn everywhere when Isaac comments from the kitchen, “why not, Scott? You’re a pretty good kisser.”

Pack meetings at Derek’s loft that turn into game nights when Erica and Isaac get bored and start cracking jokes in the corner and Stiles suggests that maybe they should break for snacks, Scott mutters something about studying for finals, Lydia rolls her eyes and announces that they should just resume business tomorrow since everyone is distracted and they all end up playing cards against humanity on the floor 20 minutes later. Boyd and Derek stand together by the window, shaking their heads and exchanging deadpans. 

Stiles and Derek slowly warming up to each other, banter accompanied with more and more teasing smirks until they’re clapping each other on the shoulder and staying up late researching harpies together in the loft without second thought, and then that climactic episode where one of them narrowly escapes death and they realize that oh - hey, I really care about you.

Melissa and the Sheriff having coffee at midnight, cell phones in front of them on the table. They’re waiting for their kids to call them back, because neither boys are answering and they just hope to god that Scott and Stiles can battle a pixie army and come back in one piece. Parenting tactics and punishment plans are discussed.

Exploring Derek’s background when he and the Sheriff are working together on the latest supernatural case, and they’ve grown close enough so that Derek actually musters the courage to tell him a story or two about when his family was still alive. The Sheriff tells him that he’s a good kid and that he shouldn’t blame himself for everything.

Chris Argent working with the Sheriff, introducing him to new wolfsbane guns and weapons to have on hand. They swap stories about how much they love/miss their wives.

Lydia learning more with her banshee abilities, Stiles and Erica constantly engaged in sass war, Allison teaching Melissa how to shoot a crossbow (which Scott thinks is both awesome and terrifying), and Danny never disappeared.

Deaton and Stiles working together on magical/herbal defenses. They craft a baseball bat with wolfsbane that becomes Stiles’s new prized possession. Stiles insists on having a second one made for Lydia.

Stiles having flashbacks to his mom in the hospital. Stiles having a panic attack when Scott isn’t there to talk him down, but someone unexpected like Boyd or Derek actually helps him through it. Derek explains that he used to get them too after the fire (and more background on his probable PTSD).

The whole pack is alive, they graduate together and live happily ever after. After the ceremony they’re all standing together on the green. Erica smiles and says, “see you later, bitches!” and jumps on Boyd for a piggyback. He smiles and carries her away. Allison and Lydia link arms and toss over their shoulders, “don’t be so melodramatic, we’ll see you after we get back from Hawaii!” Melissa yells at the boys to hurry up or they’ll miss the movie, Isaac calls shotgun and goes to the car. The Sheriff pulls Stiles in for a hug, tears in his eyes. “I’m proud of you, kiddo.” Scott and Stiles turn to each other, clap out a hug. “We did it, buddy.” 

“Sure you don’t want to join us for the movie?” Scott asks. Stiles shakes his head. “Nah, I’ve got plans. See you later, man.” Scott shrugs and goes to the car with the Sheriff, but before Melissa drives off he looks out the window and catches as Derek steps out from the shadows and smiles - actually smiles - at Stiles, who grins. The two casually lace their fingers together and walk off towards the camaro, and Scott’s jaw drops to the floor. 

“I knew it,” Isaac mutters. The Sheriff sighs. Melissa rolls her eyes and pats his hand, telling him “you’ll get used to it soon enough.”

Sonata in the Key of T(rollando)

Network Executive: We think you’re perfect for this role Orlando. We’re ready to make an offer.

Tro: That’s awesome. I’m sure my team will be in touch with your business affairs guys to work out all the deal points.

Network Executive: Oh yeah. Totally. Just one thing though…

Tro: What’s up?

Network Executive: The whole… social media thing.

Tro: How do you mean?

Network Executive: It’s just… we totally love how you engage with fans. We’d just need you to do… less.

Tro: Less what?

Network Executive: Like, you should absolutely live tweet with the fans and do fun Q&A’s and stuff.

Tro: Um…OK.

Network Executive: But maybe, I don’t know… less direct criticism at the showrunners and writers.

Tro: When have I ever personally criticized a showrunner?

Network Executive: On your last show.

Tro: Can you give me an example?


Network Executive: There’s just some concern that you’re a bit aggressive in calling out the show?

Tro: I see.

Network Executive. We love what you do though. It’s very clever. It’s just that there are a lot of politics involved.

Tro: Let me make sure I’m hearing you. If I’m on the show, and the writers are doing something that’s actively hurting the show, and ignoring the fans, I should just… do nothing?

Network Executive: It’s not the right forum. People take it personally. I mean… do you want to be a media critic or an actor?

Tro: (ignoring the last question) But you want me to live tweet?

Network Executive: If you could that would be amazing.

Tro: Are you paying me for that?

Network Executive: (confused) That’s not really our policy.

Tro: Cool. Totally get it.

Network Executive: Thanks man. We really appreciate your understanding.

Never gets a call back. Reads in Variety that the part was offered to someone else.

*You scramble up a tree but the manic yips and crunching of snow persist until they both fall silent beneath you.

*You glance down at the slavering pup and what must be its owner. The figure stares back from sullen sockets before speaking:

“Kid, we need to talk.”

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