More than she knows

She is the moon as it rises, her smile shining in each star,
and she is the moon as it falls
slowly through the night sky,
turning ever so slightly yellow.

She is the sun’s rays caressing
the trees at dawn,
marking mountainous silhouettes across whispering fields of grass.
And she is the sun setting over a pink ocean
as day turns calmly to dusk.

Stormy Days

Tyler was not in a good mood as he entered the shared house. As he walked in, Tyler shrugged off his wet jacket and  flung it over his shoulder as he stomped in.

“How was your day, Ty?” Ethan called out from the kitchen as he read the instructions on the DiGiorno’s box. 

“Fine.” He grumbled as he marched toward their shared bedroom. Ethan looked up from his occupation and followed him to greet him fully.

As he shucked his clothes and changed into warmer ones, Ethan slowly trailed behind before he stopped and stared at the mud tracks followed through the door.

“Ty… you tracked mud inside,” Ethan said as he followed.

“Okay, and?” Tyler looked at Ethan as if this meant nothing to him. Ethan in turn blinked and replied with, “and… you should leave your shoes outside next time.”

Tyler didn’t reply with words but with a huff instead. Ethan raised an eyebrow annoyingly before he picked up Tyler’s shoes and took them to leave them outside the front door, safe from the rain that poured.

“What’s got you in a sour mood?” Ethan mumbled.

“Nothing. How was your day.” Tyler replied with a bitter tone. 

Ethan chose to ignore the cloud over his head and returned to the kitchen to attend to the stone-cold pizza. “It was good. Mark wasn’t too harsh on me today and then I got to walk Chica for a couple hours with Kathryn.” Ethan replied cheerily.

Tyler sat himself down on the couch and looked at his phone, keeping himself attentive to whatever was on the small screen. As Ethan slipped in the pizza into the preheated oven, he felt slightly uncomfortable with the silence that dragged on even though the rain did add some noise in the house. 

Swaying to the music as he got paper plates and condiments for the pizza, Ethan was enjoying himself before the music suddenly stopped and Ethan turned to see Tyler walking back to the couch, radio unplugged from the outlet. Ethan was starting to get annoyed by Tyler’s mood.

“What was that?” Ethan asked, walking over to stand next to Tyler as he sat on the couch.

“What was what?” the taller man mumbled, not looking at Ethan. The other man, however, stared at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Why’d you turn off the mus-”

“It gave me a headache,” Tyler replied, “so I turned it off.”

“It wasn’t even on for a full song.” Ethan rebutted.

“Ethan, I had a headache.” Tyler repeated, his voice rising if only slightly.

Ethan scoffed and snatched the device from his hands, causing the other to stand up and tower over the smaller man.

“Ethan… i’m not in a good mood-”

“What’s wrong? Why are you so moody?” Ethan asked, looking up at him, trying to hide his slight fear.

Tyler snatched the phone from Ethan and plopped back down on the couch. 

“Tyler. This is ridiculous. Was it something I did? Something I said? Why aren’t you talking to me?” Ethan begged as he stood in front of the taller man.

“Shut up, Ethan! Just shut up for once in your life!” Tyler shouted as he stood and shoved Ethan slightly.

The blue-haired man stared at Tyler in disbelief, shock etched on his face before he spun and threw open the door, running into the rain. Tyler groaned, angry at Ethan’s actions. Tyler followed Ethan outside to find Ethan standing out on the driveway, looking up at the rain silently. 

“Ethan get out of the rain you’re going to get sick.” Tyler scolded, standing next to him.

Ethan, in turn, didn’t reply. He just stood there, eyes closed as he tilted his head up, feeling the rain fall on him.

“Ethan..” Tyler demanded. Ethan didn’t reply. “Ethan get your ass inside, right now.”


“Ethan, I’m not in the mood-” Tyler began to reply before he felt a sharp sting on his cheek. 

Ethan had slapped him in an unexpected manner, quietly and quickly. Ethan was staring at him with many emotions reflected on his face. Tyler couldn’t tell if he had tears running down his face or if it was just rain.

“I’m sorry, if i’ve ever bothered you. I’m sorry if I’m a pain in the ass. I try so hard to be as good as I can be.” Ethan snapped, “but please just leave me alone.” Ethan whispered.

Tyler was staring at Ethan through this, both of them completely soaked. Tyler quietly turned back around and went into the house leaving Ethan outside standing in the rain in peace. He sunk to the floor, head in his hands and back to the door as he felt the guilt slowly settle through his body.

we picked out certain ill truths
that we could never speak enough of
we looked for better ways
to undo what we are not
we sort of became
the sick, godawful version of ourselves
amidst all other demons that,
more often than not
the same trigger they try to pull from us
made our waking constantly seems a little dead
—  a.

Slightly drunk and more than slightly lonely, I closed my eyes and imagined your head on my chest.

Lately I’ve been falling asleep this way because my heart stubbornly refuses to stop reaching out for yours.

At this point, I’m not sure what to do with the damned hopeful thing anymore.

- Z.M. (Lovely, Torturous Optimism)

Some people you come across will not understand the atoms of your heart. So they will try to solve you. Like a puzzle. But don’t let them create new pieces. Don’t let them stick their flag in the dirt. Don’t let them bend and brake you. It is not your fault you can’t stop crying. And it is not your fault you hang on like an anchor to a boat. Don’t let them love all the self out of you.

They will tell you these familiar things. The ones that look at you with admiring eyes but shaking palms. They won’t know what to do with all this life, all this soul. You can’t let them dim the light out of you. These people, it is not their fault either. It is not their fault that they can’t make sense out of the collage. It is not their job to understand your shades of colors, of moods. How they change so often and how many of them there are.

This is the part where you tell them. But..this is me. This is the light inside of me. Without it I wouldn’t be. And that’s okay.
This is the part where they tell you. I love you and all the many shades and colors you may come in. Even if they are dark, the darkest parts are my favorite. And I never wish to understand them. I wish to be their friend. I wish you loved them too.

we all clearly seem
so good at punishing ourselves,
creating new burdens
and then
adding such odd truths into our vessels
we eventually forget how and wonder 
if it’ll turn out to be a much harder fight or not 
above all else,
where do we even stand over these 
unforgiving ground
in this goddamned society,
what seems to be the urgency of such bitter disputes
between us against the world?
—  a.
“soul mate”. people often hear these two words and automatically think of a significant other.

well, what if I told you that soul mates can be so much more than that?

your soul mate could be your bestfriend that you met in 7th grade, or your sister that’s been there to hold you every time she hears you sobbing and heaving two doors down in the middle of the night. your soul mate could be your mom who carried you for nine months and has devoted her entire life to giving you anything and everything.

your soul mate could be anyone, but our soul mates all serve the same purpose. a soul mate is someone that you connect with in a way that is indescribable and truly extraordinary. from the moment you meet, it will be clear that the two of you belong together as lovers, or friends, or family, or maybe even something entirely different.

your life will be better from the moment you meet them. they will make you feel something beautiful, something new. you’ll know when you meet these people in your life.

don’t ever let these people go. you will regret it every day for the remainder of your existence. these people are made for you, and you for them. don’t take that for granted. give them everything you can and they will always give you the same.

—  alyssa scheuerman // 4.5.15

There is nothing wrong with protecting your heart from people who have not yet proven that they will cherish and nurture it, even if their soul appears to be made of golden light.

You are not wrong to be careful, and you are not pathetic in your hesitation, so please do not blindly offer yourself to those who do not deserve you.

In the end, the right one will be patient and kind and you will feel no fear when you open up your chest for them to peak inside and gaze upon your scars.

Just don’t give yourself away so easily.

- Z.M. (Note To Self #1)


This woman both on screen and off is the most beautiful woman in terms of personality and looks, I’m besotted with her, head over heels. I’m not just talking ‘Man Crush 10/10 would bang’ testorone fueled bullshit, I mean completely and honestly if I ever found a woman like Felicity I would die happy.

To have someone so intelligent, stunningly beautiful, funny, sarcastic, awkward, nerdy, headstrong and determined; someone who can learn from their mistakes and support others so selflessly and give them so much hope and strength to be who they are and what they can be. You better believe I’ll fall in love with you.

She doesn’t need to dolled up everyday and she’ll put her hair back so she can focus but that just makes the effort she puts in to look good on a night out (Or just because she wants to feel pretty) that so much more attractive, i’d feel so lucky.

She’s a role model not just for her gender but for everyone to look after others and understand that your uniqueness is something you should never undermine or compare to others.

I hope this makes sense, Colton Haynes and Stephen Amell are two very lucky men.

A late night musing from Roofy

I was never good at it
in fact,
I hated how it actually exists in a way
we could only ever simply tell
from that last look
when we stood, 
letting these eyes do the talking
and all I could think about was how
that same pair of eyes used to fire up delicately
along to our favorite colors
believing in our demons
so much so  
that they’ll settle so goddamned well
—  a.
the world
can be a little too full of hearts
who sits in peculiarly well
within these black holes 
and every so often,
we find ourselves 
creating a little home in that space
seeing how well
our delicate bones fit
whenever we start opening our wounds
as the moon catches us in its state of wonders
—  a. 

Do me a favor? Don’t fall into my heart halfway.

Do not kiss my left cheek unless you’re going to kiss my right.

Do not cover my chest unless you’re prepared to cover my back.

Do not hold my hand unless you’re ready to hold my heart.

Do me a favor and don’t fall in love with me unless it is with all of me.

- Z.M. (If You Fall, Fall Hard)

somebody, anybody

I want to be the first thing
someone thinks about each morning
and the last thing
they think about each night

I want to be the hand
someone reaches for
the eyes they search for
in a crowded room

I want to be the person
someone longs to kiss
the person someone
longs to hold close

I want to be someone’s somebody
but I am nobody’s anybody


I am thinking about marriage already. I may be young but I truly and deeply love this girl.

This is not a proposal but Trisha Marie Sapla. I really want to marry you.. I need  you in my life. I need you to be a part of my life. Without you I feel lonely, not my self. Sounds corny righhh’? but I say this whole heartedly. I love you, and if we do get married soon. I “promise” even “pinky promise” that I will treat you with so much respect and love you more than any man could. I will not cheat, I will not hurt you, and most of all love you so much that you get irritated lol.