Lang-Leav

sometimes i feel like i can be toxic to the people around me. i harbor so many ill, shitty feelings inside, and eventually i just pour them all onto everyone and everything surrounding me. of course i don’t mean to.. but sometimes i have no control over it. or.. over myself i guess i should say. i try to be - and stay - as positive as humanly possible, but fuck. i’m so tired. i’m tired of never having an outlet. i’m tired of being everyone else’s outlet and not being thought of in return. i don’t mean to be sad all the time but i genuinely can’t even help it. i could probably get better at attacking problems and situations as they present themselves so that i don’t always do these massive blow up things. but.. i haven’t reached that point of detachment just yet. i’m still working on me. still a work in progress. hopefully, i get better. at being a better person. soon. or someday, atleast.
—  Reyna Biddy

What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude.
It was like being exhumed, I answered, and brought to life in a flash of brilliance.

What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy.
It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence.

What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow. There was a long pause before I responded:

It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me—said all at once.

—  Lang Leav, Love & Misadventure
2

December 24 2016

Merry Christmas! Even if you or those around you do not celebrate Christmas, I still wish everyone a happy, healthy, and prosperous end of the year. May 2017 have high hopes (and high scores yep)

Ellee.

you ask 
is the reason
you're so sad nowadays 
because of me

i say
of course not

but i can feel the lie
licking at the back of my teeth

you ask
then why do you look
like you’re about to cry
whenever you glance my way

i say
i don’t know what
you’re talking about

and i try to hide
that the tears are there
even now 

you say
i may be pathetic
but i’ve never been blind

i look away and i confess
i don’t think
we were ever meant
to fall in love

you stop speaking
and for a few minutes
we just sit
you smoke a cigarette
and i bite my nails

then you say
if we were never
meant to fall in love
then why did we

i don’t have 
an answer for this
but you take my silence
as one and let the smoke
float around us before you 
speak again

i think we were meant 
to fall in love but maybe
we weren’t mean to fall
in love for forever

i say
this is heartbreaking

you say
well at least now
we know why it is

—  conclusive -c.h. (instagram: @evanescent.love (via @poeticaffinity)