No Cookie For You (Lafayette x Reader)

Words: 1500+ I believe

Warnings: blood, abuse, mentions of sexual abuse, innuendos? 

Request:  Hi! I know you’re starting up a new series and it’s already awesome, but if you still have time for requests could you do one where reader is together with Tjeffs but he’s been fukin up lately and he’s on the last straw and does something stupid to snap it and LaffyTaffy is there to comfort her cause he low-key has a huge crush on her and they get together. If you don’t have time or I’m too late I understand tho! Keep up the good work and don’t work yourself too hard 😄 

A/N: hey yall, remember when i said i will take a few days off?Yup, I lied, I took maybe 12 hours off and I am back at it again. bold and italicized is text, just italicized is memories.

You were sitting at the dinner table, waiting until Thomas finally came home. You were slightly frustrated, since he promised to make it home to eat with you. You stared at the clock, watching the seconds pass by. This was not the first time he did this.

In the beginning of your relationship, Thomas always made sure that he had dinner with you. It was cute, and you appreciated the effort he put into you two. But after a few months of dating, his work days became longer and longer, sometimes leaving you waiting until one in the morning for him to walk through the door. He used to kiss you when he walked in, but now, he just ignored you, walking straight to bed. You thought back to an argument the two of you had a few days ago.

Thomas walked through the door, carrying a suitcase in his hands. Your arms were crossed against your chest, glaring at him. He barely gave you a second glance, grabbing his plate and putting the food in the microwave to heat up. He didn’t kiss your cheek, just like every day for weeks prior.

“Thomas.” You said, and he grunted in response, his back to you. “What happened? You said you’d be home at five. It’s two in the morning.” He shrugged his shoulders, sitting at the table with the food in front of him.

“You know how it is, Y/N. Hamilton never shuts up, and we end up debating for hours. I can’t let him win.” He ate his food slowly. You sighed, putting your hand to your head.

“Could you just tell me when you’re getting home? Maybe a call, or a text message? You promised me that you’d do that, to make sure that I know your safe.” He scoffed at your small speech, looking at you through droopy eyes.

“I can handle myself. I don’t think I need to check-in with you.” You stared at him, your eyes widening. Is he really acting like this, with you?

“Seriously? Why are you talking to me like this? Like I’m Hamilton?” You whispered, tears in your eyes. He stopped eating, slamming the fork down. You jumped, shocked at his actions. His eyes met yours, flames pouring out.

“I am an adult, Y/N. I don’t need to hear this from you, not now. You’re always starting fights, and I’m sick of it. Why don’t we just end this here? Madison can take better care of me than you.” He spat, glaring at you. Your hands were shaking, tears appearing in your eyes. You turned around, marching to the room that you two shared.

You looked for your luggage, and began packing your stuff, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. You heard footsteps behind you, but you ignored him, your sniffles making you cough. You heard him sigh, and felt arms wrap around your waist. You froze, closing your eyes.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean that, you know it.” You shook your head, trying to pull his arms from you. He held you tighter, unwilling to let go. No, you couldn’t let him do this to you again, you had enough of his crap.

“How do I know that, Jeff? How do I know that you aren’t tired of me, how do I know that your not with someone else, that you hate seeing my face?” He turned you around, pushing your hair out of your eyes. He smiled, and kissed your lips softly.

“I love you, Y/N. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like that. I don’t want anyone else in my life but you. Please understand that.” His kiss lingered on the corner of your lip, tracing your jaw line and down your neck. He pulled your shirt over your head, and smiled at you.

You closed your eyes, groaning.

It was a constant thing between you two. He would insult you in every way possible, and you would start to pack up your things. It felt like a routine. After that night, he promised to make it home every day. You made him sign a piece of paper to make sure he followed the rule. His consequence?

“What if I don’t make it home?” He chuckled through your kisses on his face. You grinned at him, wiggling your eyebrows.

“No cookie for you.” You replied, and he widened his eyes, pushing you back against the bed. His lips caressed your stomach, and you giggled.

“I’m never going to be late again.” He whispered.

You put your head on the table, the tears coming again. Is this what love was like? Why did it feel like you were climbing over obstacles just to see the one you loved? Why didn’t he just send you a text message?

You looked down at your phone, making sure you didn’t miss any text messages.

Nope, no notifications.

“Why do you ignore me, Thomas, why do you do this to me?” You mumbled, staring at the food on your table that’s been cold for hours. “You’re such an ass…” You played with the lukewarm water next to you, watching the condensation drip.

Your phone vibrated, and you quickly looked at it, your smile coming back on your face. Instead, you say Lafayette, your friend, sent you a message.

Laf: How are you, Y/N? Did Thomas get home yet?  

You: no, should i b scared? wat if somthin bad happend? wat should I do?

Laf: It’ll be fine. Text me 911 if you need me to come by.

You questioned why he sent you that, but a noise interrupted your thought process. The lock to your apartment jiggled, and you sat up straight, a small bit of hope jumping in your chest. You turn towards the door, watching him walk in.

His hair was a mess, and his clothes were disheveled. You smiled at him, and he looked at you, a big grin on his face. “Guess what, Y/N?” He asked you, running over to you. You jumped out of your seat.

“What’s up, Tom?” You asked, a small smile appearing on your face. He laughed loudly, picking you up. You giggled, twirling around in his arms. After a moment of your protesting and his arms tiring out, he put you down, the smile never leaving his face.

“I finally beat Hamilton! My plan was finally passed!” You held up your hand for a high five. He turned away from you, not noticing your hand in the air.

“That’s great, hon. Want to celebrate? I have wine in the fridge.” He shook his head, taking off his vest.

“It’s fine, Madison and I already went out for drinks. Sorry about the dinner.” He kissed your forehead, and you noticed a strange mark on his neck.

“Hey, what’s that?” You asked, moving his shirt out of the way. It was swelled and red, and there was at least three on his neck. Your heart dropped, and you backed away from him. The smile on his face wavered, and he tried touching your arm. You pushed him away, stumbling back. “Please tell me that’s not what I think it is, Thomas. Please.” You gasped desperately, tears staining your cheeks.

“Y/N, we were just having some fun. It’s not like I had sex with them or anything. It’s fine.” He said, his lopsided grin still there. You pushed past him, grabbing your coat off the hanger next to the door.

You didn’t look back at him this time, grabbing your phone off the table and taking your hat and scarf.

“Hey, where are you going?” He said, watching you move back and forth.

“Anywhere but here. I don’t need this from you anymore.” You growled, the tears still falling out of your eyes. You tried to mend this relationship, you really did. But Thomas seemed to care less about you and your feelings, ignoring your pleas and your desperate attempts at fixing this.

Finally, the stupid grin on his face dropped. He stood in front of the door, blocking your way. You frowned, sighing. “I can’t, I can’t do this, Tommy. I can’t stand here and pretend I’m okay with you cheating on me. I’m not okay.” He tried again to reach for you, but you backed up. “No, kissing me and making me forget about it won’t change anything. I need some space.”

“I can’t just let you leave, Y/N. You know that.” You looked into his eyes, and there was anything but sorrow in them. Your heart started beating faster, now terrified of what he was going to do. He stepped towards you again, a warning in his eyes. “Just stay here, okay? We’ll work this out.” It seemed more like a demand than a request.

“Thomas, you’re scaring me.” You whispered, your hands shaking. You heard your phone vibrate in the kitchen, and you glanced behind you. Thomas’s gaze flicked off of you, looking back to the noise as well.

You made a run for it.

You stumbled a little, your feet still having your fuzzy socks on. You dashed around the bend in the living room, trying to get to the kitchen before he caught you. His shoes boomed behind you, and you never felt more afraid in your life. You spotted the phone lying there, and with the last boost of adrenaline that you had, you grabbed the phone, quickly typing in 911.

A hand grabbed you by your shirt, pulling you back. You gasped, falling onto the floor. Your device escaped your hand, hitting the floor with a loud cracking noise. Thomas was furious, his eyes bloodshot red. He pulled you up, dragging you to the room. You yelped, tugging on his hands as much as possible.

“Stop flailing around, Y/N! Why are you acting like this?” He grumbled, throwing you onto their bed. You scrambled to the edge, but he pushed you down, straddling you. His face leaned down, and he rubbed his lips on your ear, and you whimpered. He sighed and bit down, hard, on your cheek. You cried out, tasting your salty tears.

“Please, Thomas, just let me go.” You whispered. He laughed.


You woke up the next day, leaning forward out of your bed quickly. You looked to the side of you, noticing that Thomas was gone. You ignored the pain in your lower abdomen and You scrambled, pulling your already filled luggage out of the closet and walked to your bedroom door. You tried opening it, hearing a click when you turned the knob. You did it again, and it stayed shut.

Thomas locked you in the room.

You fell onto the floor, your mouth slightly open.

“Y/N? Are you in there?” You heard a voice yell, immediately recognizing it as Lafayette’s. You banged your fist on the door, calling back to him. You heard your front door click open, and footsteps walking around your home. “Where are you?”

“In the room.” You replied, hearing his steps come closer to the door.

“Back away, mon amour.” He said, and you moved back. After a few seconds, you watched the door crack, slamming open. Lafayette stood on the other side, his hair pulled back into his signature bun. You looked at his chest moving up and down.

“Laf, how’d you know?” You mumbled. He pulled you against him, holding you tight. You hugged him back, letting out a deep breath. After standing there for what felt like hours, you let him go.

“You sent me 911, love. I did not receive the text message until this morning. Are you okay? Why were you locked in this room?” He asked, glancing around. His eyes focused on the bed, their gaze narrowing. You turned to what he was looking at, shocked at the sight. On the bed, there was dried blood, probably from what happened late last night. Lafayette examined your body, seeing if there was any more damage. He touched a dark spot on your arm, and you hissed.

“Thomas did this to you? He…” Lafayette’s eyes glistened, his hands shaking. You touched his cheek, wiping away the tears.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. He was drunk last night, he didn’t mean it. I know that he loves me, Laf. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.” Lafayette opened his eyes, and kissed your fingers. You blushed, moving your hand back to your side.

“This is not love, mom amour. Love does not hurt, love does not draw blood. Love listens to the word no.” He whispered. “I need to get you out of here. Pack up all your things, you’re coming back with me.” You hesitated, looking back at your room. Thomas and you bought this apartment, together. He wouldn’t just want you to leave without telling him.

“I, I can’t leave him.” You said, opening your luggage. Lafayette touched your arm again, and you flinched. He pulled back quickly. “Thomas is going to hate you being in here, you should go.”

“I’m not going to leave you here with that monster.”


“No, Y/N. Stop. Stop saying that man loves you. If he loved you, he would have never prevented you from taking a break. He would that never forgave himself if he saw you cry. He would work so hard to fix what relationship you have. He would give you flowers and chocolates occasionally, just because. He would love you with his whole being, and even more than that. He would not lock you in a room, he would not hit you, he would not lay a finger on you. He would not cheat on you. He would not force you to have sex with him.”

You bit your lip, looking back to the blood on the bed. A small part of you wanted to talk it out with Thomas, but you knew Lafayette was right. He was always right. “Okay. Okay, I’ll go with you.”

It’s been months since you last seen Thomas. In the first few weeks, he constantly called and texted you, begging you to come home. You cried every time, Lafayette there to comfort you through it. He offered to change your phone number for you, but you didn’t want to. After ignoring him for so long, he occasionally sent you a message, saying how better his life was without you in in.

This time, you blocked his phone number.

Now, you still love lived with Lafayette, his kindness making you ecstatic. You two were close before, but now, your relationship as friends grew into best friends. You knew where he hid all of his goodies, you knew his underwear size, you even knew which brand of toothpaste he liked the most.

There were a few things you noticed changed between you two as well. He would walk next to you on the side walk (the street side, of course) and make sure that your hands were entwined in one another. You always asked him why, but he would just shrug, a small smile on his face.

Some of your friends noticed how Lafayette treated you, especially one of his good friends, Herc. “I’m just saying, the way he looks at you, that’s not friendly love.” He joked once, causing you to hit him lightly on the arm. That was only the first, Hamilton and Laurens teased you as well.

You couldn’t help but wonder if it was true. The blush on his cheeks whenever you gave him a hug or a wink, the protective stance he took when someone stared at you for a little too long. He even let the waiter say that you two were dating, you had to tell them that it wasn’t true. Of course you noticed Lafayette’s face drop for a second.

“Laf, what are you doing?” You asked, walking over to him in the kitchen. He turned on the stove, smiling back at you.

“Just making us some food, mon amour. Why, are you hungry?” You nodded, sitting on a stool a few feet from him. You watched him move around the room, admiring how graceful his movements were. After a few minutes of silence, Lafayette sighed, his brown eyes meeting yours.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. You looked down at your fingers, your chest tightening.

“Um… do you like me?” You whispered, and he walked over to you, pulling you into his arms.

“I do, mon amour. Why do you think I do not?” You moved out of his arms, and he looked at you strangely.

“No, no. I didn’t meant it like that,” you put your face in your hands, “I suck at words. I really do.” Lafayette stayed silent. “Lafayette, you saved me. You saved me from Thomas.” Your voice wavered when you spoke his name. “I am forever grateful to you. I really am. It’s just, I noticed that you act differently around me than your friends. You, you pay special attention to me, you hold my hand when we’re walking, you never correct people when they say we’re together. You smile about it. And, I don’t mind. I don’t think I’ll mind being your girlfriend. You taught me how I am supposed to be treated, you taught me how to love. I just need to know, do you like me? Like, like me, I mean.”

Lafayette turned off the stove, a serious look on his face. You gulped, realizing this was a mistake. Great, you just lost your best friend because you didn’t know how to shut up. He’s probably going to hate you now. You jumped off the stool. “Forget it, forget I ever said anything. I’m sorry.”

“There is no need, mon amour.” He touched your arm softly, completely different from the way your ex touched you. You felt safe in his touch. “I did not want to make you feel like you owe me because I helped you. But you chose to leave him, you chose on your own, and I am happy that you did so. You see,” he led you back to the stool, and he sat directly in front of you, your legs between his, “I have had, how you say, a crush on you. I met you when you were together with him, and I knew that I liked you. You’re funny, your nice, and you’re beautiful. How could I not fall in love with you? And when I found out that he was hurting you…” His hands tightened into fists, and you touched his hands. He took a deep breath, and put his hands in yours instead. “I want to make sure you are okay. I do not want anything bad to happen to you.” He whispered, small droplets falling out of the corner of his eyes. You touched his cheek, trying to wipe them away.

“Don’t cry, Gilbert. I don’t like to see you cry.” You smiled at him, and he laughed, pulling your face to his. You two were inches apart, your lips almost touching. “Stop teasing me, Laf, just kiss me already.” He rolled his eyes.

“You do not need to ask me twice.” He pulled you closer, yours lips pressing against each others.



- TELL @mini-laffytaffy YOUR BIRTHDAY.

Violators of this law will receive nothing but a “happy belated birthday” in their inbox and a look of disapproval from their peers.


Violators of this law will be kindly corrected and requested to use the correct pronouns.


This is more like a suggestion than a law like “dry clean only”. But ya know. Don’t don’t do that.


It isn’t a perfect system but let’s see how this goes. Please spread the word so all Brandom members know the law of this land and can add their voices as well if they choose.

Prompt thingy #2
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Person C:</b> I'm trying to draw Large Baguette from memory<p/><b>Person A:</b> What?<p/><b>Person C:</b> Laffytaffy<p/><b>Person A:</b> ???<p/><b>Person C:</b> You know, everyone's favorite fighting Frenchman<p/><b>Person A:</b> Lafayette?<p/><b>Person C:</b> Yeah<p/><b>Person C:</b> Laffytit<p/></p><p/></p>



Hey, this is Draco Rex, also known as Hoodie Fox, Kiiro, Foxy Mun, and Fox Mun. I run @fox-features-syndicate-official.

So anyway, I had a little conversation with @i-should-clean-my-room, also know as Light and Bluebird Mun. They run @kmart-totallyofficial-service and many others.

The conversation continues under the cut:

Keep reading

trou du cul

Note: Phew. Managed to finish this just in time. I hope you enjoy! Also, this is a present day AU

Request:  Can you do a super angsty #2 with LaffyTaffy?? 💕

Word count: 2573

Pairing: Marquis de Lafayette x Reader

Warnings: A bit of swearing, I guess

Originally posted by diggstrash

You and your boyfriend, Gilbert had not been spending much time together for a while. He had spent a lot of time with his friends and never really spent time with you anymore. Yesterday, he had told you that he had to go back to France and that he would not be coming back for a while. You had been so angry at him, even when you had no right to be so. You had just gotten fed up with him cancelling your dates and never spending time with you, just to be able to go out for a drink with his friends. At first, you had accepted that he would like to see his friends more, since the two of you had spent a lot of time together during the last couple of months and you were sort of okay with it. At least you felt like you had not right to tell him, that he could not see his friends.

After the first couple of weeks of not seeing him much, you began to grow impatient and a bit annoyed. But, you still decided to put of talking to him about it, because he honestly seemed a lot happier being able to spend some time with his friends for once.

When it passed the one month mark and you had only seen him once a week or so, you had decided to distance yourself from him. Not because you were mad, because even though you kept telling yourself that you had every right to be so, he seemed so happy and you wanted nothing more than that. You were just truly disappointed. But, you decided to distance yourself from him because you thought that perhaps that would make him notice how much you were actually hurting. You had hoped that it would get to a point where the two of you would start seeing each other more. But, instead it went in the opposite direction. You rarely ever spoke and when you did, it usually ended in some kind of argument. He shouted at you a lot and you tried your best to keep calm. Though, it had really not been as bad as last night before.

“Earth to Y/N.” Alexander said as he waved a hand in front of your eyes, which made you snap out of your thoughts suddenly.

“What, Hamilton?” You asked. You were not too sure how long you had stared of like that, but it had probably been a while, since your friend had obviously grown quite impatient.

“I said, I am not picking sides here. But, I do think that Lafayette has been an asshole.” He sighed softly. You loved that he tried to help you out, but it did not help all that much. In fact, talking about Gilbert just made everything worse. He had honestly broken your heart.

“Okay.” You simply said, wanting to talk about something else.

However, your friend did not seem to pick up on that, as he went on. “When will he be leaving for France though?” He asked in concern. He obviously worried about you and while you really wanted to appreciate that, it actually annoyed you a lot more than anything.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged honestly. You never actually got to the part of asking him when he would be leaving, before you let your emotions spill.

You had told Gilbert how much you missed him and how you just wanted to see him happy, but it hurt when he obviously took every chance that he could get to get as far away from you as fucking possible. You had bottled up all the anger and sadness inside and let it all spill yesterday and even if you had tried to shut up about it, you definitely would not have been able to.

At some point, you ended up crying and you could see that even this did not seem to touch him much. He had changed a lot during the month of not seeing him much and it worried you. It had gotten to a point where you thought something was going on. You just had no idea as to what the hell it could be. The thought of him cheating on you had obviously crossed your mind. But, that you definitely did not want to believe.

“Y/N. Seriously. You need to talk to someone about this.” Alex sighed softly. He of anyone had been so close to Gilbert during the last month and he definitely agreed on your boyfriend having changed a lot.

“Why does it even matter? It’s not like that is going to get him back.” You blurted. You had not exactly broken up the previous night, but he had stormed out without even saying goodbye and you had asked him not to come back. Ever. So, yeah. That perhaps meant that you did  break up. Even if that is not something you are going to admit to yourself.

“Because it does, Y/N!” He half shouted, clearly growing a bit frustrated with you.

You sighed softly in defeat. “What do you want me to say, Alex? Things went to shit and there is not a fucking thing that I can actually do about.”

You could not help the small, sad smile that found its way to your lips when Alexander’s phone rang, showing Gilbert’s name on the display. “Just go.” You sighed. You knew that you meant a lot to Alexander, but Gilbert, Hercules and John always came before anyone else and you had accepted that a while ago.

He pressed a soft kiss into your hair. “We’ll talk later.” He said, before he left your apartment and accepted the phone call once outside again. Once again you were left alone in your apartment, feeling really sad about not being able to figure things out with your boyfriend.

You feel face first onto your couch, a small sigh leaving your lips. You just finished cleaning your apartment to take your mind of things. Of course, it did not make much of a difference at all. But, at least you got to distract yourself for about an hour.  But, now that you finally gotten to think about things and in an already exhausted state, you could not help the tears that started to spill over, clouding your vision. You really just wanted your boyfriend back. He meant the world to you, but you definitely realised that you did not have the same exact space in his heart and that broke your heart even more.

You must have cried yourself to sleep or something, because once you were woken up by your ringing phone, it was way past evening. Gilbert’s face was shown on the display, along with his nickname ‘Gilbert the Frenchman’.  You did not get to pick up, however, but once the call ended, you noticed just how many times he had tried to call you.

You had no idea why, but you decided to call him back. Not because you really wanted to talk to him, because even though you were sad, you were still pissed at him. He had acted like he did not care about you at all during your argument and he had ignored everything you had said about missing him and him avoiding you. So, you were honestly quite surprised to see his name on the caller id. But, you knew that he would keep calling if you decided not to pick up.

You called him back and once he accepted the call, you drew in a quick breath. “What?” You blurted, a bit harsher than it probably should have been. But, you were more than mildly pissed with him.

“Y/N? We need to talk.” He said. You could almost hear how broken he was in his voice and you felt sort of bad for him, but soon remembered that he was the one who was an asshole, not you.

“About what, Gilbert? There is nothing to talk about.” You stated harshly. You had no intention of forgiving him right away. He needed to see how much he hurt you.

“What the hell, Y/N? What is even wrong with you? I am trying to fix things here!” He shouted at you through the phone.

“You are the one who something is wrong with, asshole. You ruined this!” You shouted back. He was honestly blaming you for this?

“What the hell are you even talking about. You are the one whining. You are the one who should be sorry.” He answered harshly.

At that point, you had gotten pretty fed up with all his blaming. “After all you did, you’re asking ME to apologize for snapping at you ONCE?” You asked. You hung up before allowing him to answer though, quickly dissolving into a sobbing mess. Why could he not just be fair and treat you right instead of this? What had you ever done to deserve this?

You wanted badly to call him back and apologize, but you had done nothing wrong what so ever. The one to blame for all this, was him. He was the one who wanted to spend time with his friends all the time and nothing with you. Yet, you still felt guilty for calling him out. You wanted nothing more than his happiness, but you obviously were not able to give him that anymore and you could not stand to be in a relationship where you never saw your partner.
You were very much aware that you might never see him again and that hurt like hell, but there really was not anything you could do about it. He had obviously decided that he wanted nothing more to do with you and you did not want to be the one to come running after him.

You fell asleep on the couch again at some point. You were not sure how much time actually passed by, before you to fell asleep, but you cried yourself to sleep for the second time that night. You hated that this affected you so much, but it obviously did. You loved your boyfriend…. Ex-boyfriend a lot and it hurt that he did not seem to care about it at all.

When you awoke the next morning, your whole body hurt and your cheeks were cover in the salty residue from your tears. You had a terrible headache from crying so much without getting any liquid down.
You got up from your couch after a couple of moments of letting yourself become fully awake. With a small yawn, you loafed to the kitchen to retrieve a glass from your cabinet to get some water down.

You had barely managed to empty your glass before you heard a knock on your apartment door. You wondered who it might be that early, but you managed to get to the entrance without your head bothering you too much and you opened the door slightly to peek outside.

“Alex… Laurens?” You asked, a tiny bit confused. You had a bit of trouble figuring out what they were doing here. Laurens, at least. He had mostly just interacted with you because of your former boyfriend.

“Good morning, Y/N. We just wanted to come by and see how you were doing.” Alex admitted, concern on his face. So, the tear stains were definitely noticeable and you probably looked really tired.

“Stop worrying about me, Alex. I can take care of myself just fine without Gilbert.” You snorted. You had no intention of breaking down in front of your ex-boyfriend’s friends, even though you could feel the tears starting to sting your eyes.

“Can we come in, please? We brought breakfast.” Laurens asked with a soft smile.

With a sigh and without saying much, you stepped aside to open the door and let the two young men into your apartment. You walked to your kitchen in silence, shoving your dishes into your sink. The two others followed you shortly after, John setting the bag of food down on the kitchen table.

“So. Y/N. What is happening with you and your boyfriend?” John asked carefully.

You could definitely tell that you were not going to get out of this one. They would keep asking until you finally gave them an answer. “Ex-boyfriend.” You correct, before adding. “He wanted to spend more time with you guys and how could I deny him that? It was fine for the first couple of months, but it came to a point where I rarely saw him. Like, once a week maybe. Then, the day before yesterday he told me that he was going back to France and I just… snapped.” You rambled, as you felt the tears starting to run down your cheeks again. Damn it.

“Ex? What?” Alexander asked, clearly surprised. Both of them lowered their gaze at the second part. “He hasn’t really been himself lately.” He admitted. It definitely would not take rocket science to figure out, that Gilbert was not acting like himself.

“Yes, Ex. Alex. We broke it off. At least that is what it seemed like. I don’t want a relationship that doesn’t make me happy.” You inhaled shakily as you poured yourself another glass of water in an attempt to get yourself hydrated again, steady your trembling hands, and hopefully get rid of your terrible headache.

“Why don’t you talk to him?” John asked you.

You shrugged. “I just gave up. I don’t want to keep trying when he obviously doesn’t love me anymore.” You sighed.

“Wow, wait. That is not true.” Alexander protested.

Though, you knew it was, so you simply lifted a hand in defeat. “Don’t.” You simply said, as you sat down in one of your chairs. “It’s fine, really. Gilbert deserves better anyway.” You murmured softly. You definitely thought so, at least.

“He fucking loves you, Y/N. He is just so fucking scared of getting on your nerves all the time. That is why your relationship is going to shit” John spat, obviously becoming a bit pissed.

“Don’t you fucking dare shout at me, Laurens! You have no right to comment on my relationship.” You grimaced. You really did not have the energy to listen to listen to them commenting on your relationship.

“Can you just please leave? Both of you.” You interrupted before any of them could say anything else, feeling the tears starting to run down your cheeks just after finally stopping.

None of them said much, but obliged and left your apartment in silence. The rest of your day was a complete blur. Your hours were spent on crying and taking painkillers to soothe your terrible headache. You had no idea what to do about everything that was happening in your life. You just knew that you were not going to apologize to Gilbert again and if that meant never seeing him again, then perhaps that was just what needed to happen.

The following week, Gilbert returned to France without even sending you a text to say goodbye. After a month of hearing nothing from him, you received a letter from some place in your ex-boyfriend’s home country. He wrote to you to apologize, to tell you how terribly sorry he was about the last things that had happened between you. You did not reply. You were just starting to get over him and you did not want to rip open a still unhealed wound.

Alright, so im thinking of becoming an assassin for hire. Just tell me who u want dead in the brandom and ill take care of it.

There are like 4 people immune to this, because we have an evil friendship: @sunny-d-official , @beefjerkynon-official and a couple more, i forget your exact usernames, sorry

And @lindortruffles is immune, as much as I hate their goodness, can’t kill a fellow truffle. Ill fite u tho, lindor goodor

So this is known, tagging:

@mini-laffytaffy , @unofficialchipsahoy , @unofficiallyairheads , @unofficialgobstoppers , @unofficial-hichew , @unofficial-dr-pepper , @official-hersheys , @officialcrunchbar , @offical-cheeseballs , @official-tide-pods , @official-smarties , @official-mounds , @official-butterfinger , @official-cocacolazero , @official-nik-l-nips , @reesescups , @krackelunofficial , @kitkatofficial , @achey–breaky , @clorox-bleach-unofficial , @official-honest-tea , @official-nasa , @official-pringle , @whatchamacallit-official , @neccowafersunofficial , @neccounofficial , @clorox-bleach-unofficial , @candy-corn-world-domination , @candycorn-unofficial , @candy-buttons-official , @candy-hearts-official , @tootsie-pop-unofficial , @tootsiepopunofficial , @york-patties-official , @swedishfishoffishal , @skittles-officially-unofficial , @subwayofficial , @snickering-smiles , @supernatural-official , @swedishfish-official , @mountain-dew-offical , @milk-official , @m-and-ms-candy-unofficial , @minutemaid-unofficial , @milky-wayunofficial , @milkduds-unofficial , @mikeandikeofficial , @mike-and-ike-official-blog , @haribosugarfreegummybearsoficial , @humanfleshofficial , @hersheys-almond , @hotdogs-unofficial , @holywater-official , @marshmallow-unofficial , @ghirardelli-chocolate-official , @ghirardelliofficial , @layspotatochipsofficial , @life-savers-official , @lilcrittersvitamins-official , @lemonheads-official , @wispa-official , @whoppersofficial , @whopper-official , @welchs-fruit-snacks , @whoops-just-mattie , @windex-brand , @brisk-tea , @iced-brisk-official , @the-waffle-house-official , @thefantaunofficial , @mello-yello-official , @blacklicoriceunofficial , @homemade-brownies-official , @nesquik-chocolate , @nestlemilkchocolate , @nestle-crunch-official , @nerdsofficialblog , @not-official-bazooka-gum , @bandages-official , @salt-water-taffy-unofficial , @unicornpops-unofficial , @3-musketeers , @pixystixunofficial , @poprocksthecandy , @pink-starbursts-official , @peeses-rieces-official , @paydaycandybarunofficial , @pepsi1 , @red-vines-unofficial , @rolos-candy-unofficial , @redvines-not-official , @redswedishfish-unofficial , @twizzlers-blog , @toxicwaste-official , @york-patties-official , @airheads-unofficial , @aandw–official , @almondjoy-official , @aerounofficial , @dennys , @diet-coca-cola , @dum-dums-unofficial , @dotsofficial , @french-fries-official , @fruitsandvegetablofficial , @fandoms-unofficial , @gerber-unofficial , @gobstopper-official , @hersheys-kiss-unofficial , @jolly-rancher-unofficial , @johnnykitkats , @kraftmacncheese , @kindersuprise-official , @kindersbrudder , @laffytaffy-lives , @zero-bar-official , @zagnut-unofficial , @clorox-bleach-unofficial , @babyruthofficial , @butterfingersunofficial , @sherlockholmes-official @blacklicoriceunofficial , @bagel-official , @bagelbites-unofficial , @minutemaid-unofficial , @reesescups-x-kitkatofficial

I think that’s enough tags. Spread the word.

Sans: “Okay okay, listen to this one. Which candy can’t get anywhere on time?”

Tori: “I don’t know. Which candy?”

Sans: “Choco-late” 

Sans and Toriel spend Valentine’s Day at home in their pjs and read each other jokes from Laffy Taffy wrappers. Greatest Valentine gift they’ve ever gotten for each other.  ❤

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! 


@m-and-ms-candy-unofficial @oceansprayunofficial @jolly-rancher-unofficial @mars-bars @coffee-crisp-candy @siimplyroche @kelloggsfrostedflakes-unofficial @onehundredgrandofficial @barbecue-lays @beefjerkynon-official @york-patties-unofficial @clorox-bleach-unofficial @sweet-hearts-unofficial @cremesavers-unofficial @3-musketeers @cherrycoke-official @snocapsunofficial @ringpopsunoficial @twiningsunoffical @humanfleshofficial @temflakeofficial @ghirardelli-unofficial @snickers-unofficial @official-butterfinger @unofficial-oreo @yorkie-unofficial @sourpatch-candy @pixystixunofficial @beefjerkynon-official @candycorn-unofficial @hotdogs-unofficial @babyruth-unofficial @strawberrybonbon-unofficial @taytocrisps @pepsimax-tothemax @nerdscandyunofficial @airheadsunofficial @peachringsofficial @hersheys-kiss-unofficial @charlestonchew-unofficial @unofficialchipsahoy @fried-chicken-official @mini-laffytaffy @official-mounds @peanutm-and-mofficial @rock-candy-un-official @unofficial-cotton-candy @nesquik-chocolate @jolly-rancher-unofficial @salt-water-taffy-unofficial @mamba-official @red-vines-unofficial @nestlemilkchocolate @laffy-taffy-official @nestlecrunchveryunofficial @redswedishfish-unofficial @candy-hearts-official @unofficiallyairheads @candycorn-unofficial @blacklicoriceunofficial @poprocksthecandy @100grandunofficial @its-your-sugardaddy @fun-dip-unofficial @seltzerunofficial @faygo-unofficial-blog @bagel-official @kraftmacncheese @candy-buttons-official @dum-dums-unofficial @strongbow-unofficial @bitohoney-unofficial @7-up-official @captainmonopoly @fundip-official @unofficial-raisinete and @johnnykitkats because I had an extra baby and I wanted to piss them off :)

French (Laf x reader)

Maybe a fic where Lafayette has a crush on reader and is always saying cute stuff in french knowing reader can’t understand, but reader gets tutored by Alexander and starts to understand and maybe doesn’t tell at first.

“(y/n) vous éclipser le soleil du matin, mon amour.” You sighed as your dear friend Lafayette spoke in french, again. “Laf, you know she can’t understand you.” Alexander responded to him. “Oui.” You rolled your eyes and went back to the conversation you and hercules were having about the lack of coverage on womans clothes. You heard Lafayette and Alex going at it in french and you heard Lafayette sigh. “Alright, I have to go work. Goodbye mes amis et l'amour de ma vie.” You all waved and bid him farewell as he left.

You finished your talk with Herc and walked over to alex. “Hey Alex~” you said in a sing song voice. “What’s up (Y/n)?” He didn’t even look away from his laptop when he spoke to you. “So… I was thinking, what if you taught me french?” His eyes shot up from his laptop. “You want to learn french?” You nodded and he shook his head. “If you’re doing this because of your school girl crush on Laf you should be asking him.” You shoved him lightly. Everyone in your squad knew you liked Laf, except Laf. “Alex c’mon. I want to know what he says when he’s around me…” You saw a twinkle in Alexs eye and he nodded eagerly.

It had been a few months and you were starting to catch on. You hadn’t seen Laf in awhile and were excited to show him what you knew. “bonjour mes amis et ah, la plus belle fille de la planète.”(hello my friends and ah, the most beautiful girl on the planet.) You froze in your place looking at Alex as he smirked. Laf had been flirting with you, this whole time. You glared at Alex your back to Lafayette. “Hey Laf.” You didn’t say anything to shocked that he had been saying these things to you for so long. “(Y/n)? Are you okay.” His hand was suddenly on your forehead. “You haven’t asked me to speak only in english.” You brushed his hand off your head rolling your eyes. “Well at this point i’d just expect you to know.” He chuckled and sat next to you.

When you got home you sat in bed trying to process the fact that Lafayette called you beautiful when your phone buzzed.

Smolham: You. Didn’t. Say. Anything. In. French.

(y/n): KInda freaking out because laf called me BEAUTIFUL! Why didn’t you tell me he said that kinda stuff.

Smolham: He made me promise not to. Just use your french next time. Please?

You groaned putting your phone down when it buzzed again “I swear to fuck Alex.”

Laffytaffy: Goodnight (y/n) have only the sweetest of dreams.

You were blushing like crazy. You fell asleep with a smile on your face.

You woke up the next morning with more texts from Alex

Smolham: Heeey

Smolham: Don’t hate me

Smolham: But I kind of told laf i’ve been teaching you french and now he’s pissed that you didn’t ask him because as you know he’s totally into you then he realized you knew what he said yesterday and now he’s sad so can you like… go confess so he stops being mad at me?

Laffytaffy: I’m sorry.

You didn’t know what to do. Your first instinct was to kill Alex, but Laf was upset. You tried calling him, but he sent you to voicemail each time. You finally called Alex. “Why isn’t he picking up his phone.” “You think I know? Look I’m on my way to his house want me to get you.” You nodded the  realized he couldn’t see you. “Did you just nod at the phone?” “Shut up and pick me up.” You threw on whatever clothes you could find and Alex texted you he was here. He pulled into Lafs house and you bolted for the door knocking too many times. A very annoyed Lafayette opened the door.

“(Y/n)? What are you,” He didn’t finish his sentence due to you pressing your lips to his. He froze but then wrapped his arms around your waist holding you closer to him. You pulled back looking at him. “Laf , je suis désolé de ne pas venir à vous je voulais juste vous surprendre.” (Laf, i’m sorry i didn’t come to you i just wanted to surprise you) He shook his head kissing you again. “Don’t apologize. I thought you were uncomfortable and,” You laughed cutting him off. “Lafayette… I was in shock. That’s why I didn’t say anything.” He smiled widley kissing you again. Then you heard a sigh from behind you. “So, i’m just gonna go assuming you’re fine.” You pulled back and looked at Alex when you heard Laf laugh and he nodded and kissed you again.

“I’ve liked you for ages (Y/n).” You giggled. “You wouldn’t have had to wait this long if you just spoke in english.” He rolled his eyes kissing you again.

Rank Update

Military ranks
Me (Field Manager/General of the army)
@lindortruffles-official (General)
@officialcinnamonbears (Lieutenant-General)
@windex-official (Major General)
@york-patties-unofficial (Brigadier)
@mamba-official (Colonel)
@fried-chicken-official (Major)
@official-butterfinger (Captain)
@milkduds-unofficial (Lieutenant)
@sourpatch-candy (Second Lieutenant)
@pixystixunofficial (Private)

Medic Ranks
@hello-panda-unoffical (main medic)
@mini-laffytaffy (second medic)