For this college play I’m writing I’m doing research by going back through all my GMail chats with my college best friends and I ran across this little gem.
4:25 PM Brian: excuse me, im gonna take the browns to the superbowl real quick
jake is already pooping
4:26 PM it’s very urgent
me: oh nooooo
Brian: this is the kind of moment where i miss living under C7
me: my office has ONE women’s bathroom
and it’s always like a quest
to see if I can go in at a time when no one else is there
cuz it’s like five stalls
so that I can get my pooping on in peace
it’s very nerve-wracking pooping at the office
Brian: oh i bet
4:27 PM oh man
reeeeeally need to let this possum out right now
but jake clogged the toilet
4:28 PM this is what hell must be like
hell is real
hell is … other people pooping
4:29 PM Brian: that’s actually pretty poetic.
there’s a lot there.
4:30 PM me: ever read no exit?
4:31 PM Brian: i just want you to know
that im pooping as i type this
it is a great poop
I have never loved a man the way I love this man.