ellen with anybody who comes on on her show: yes your project / movie / album / etc. is cool and all but who are you dating ? spill the beans to your old pal Ellen™ ! tell me is it her *pulls out power point of celeb next to random old lady* or maybe her *another picture of girl and celeb from like 5 yeas ago* okay no ? let’s play a game then who would you marry ? no ? okay well you could always date my daughters Taylor Swift™ or Kendall Jenner™ or my son Harry Styles™ they are very straight and single you should think about it and then text me about it and then you can come back on the show and talk about it, this was a good interview thank you for coming ! here’s some more of my Ellen™ underwear *puts underwear over celebs head*

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.

So canon it hurts :”D


I hope BSB is performing at the debate tomorrow