The best days in class are the days I can pull out my obscure Greek and Roman mythology facts and give context to something that only vaguely has to do with anything we were actually talking about. The more messed up the better!
some hipster post on tumblr: “What if instead of intense fight scenes, compelling romance, or nuanced characterization character X and Y just accepted eachother from the start and became platonic friends who cuddled and did quirky things together like knit plaid blankets and sell them to the townspeople??”
You want to know what the biggest nonissue in Star Wars is?
Leia having memories of Padme.
And people make such a big deal about it all the time!
Leia is incredibly force sensitive! The force gives force sensitive people visions all the time! If Leia didn’t know what the force was or that she was force sensitive then she could easily mistake a force vision for a memory!
It’s literally that easy.
There are so many plot holes and in universe arguments to be had and people continue to get so worked up about this one?
Hey!! Where’s my Tonight Show with Adam Birkholtz AU????
So Holster gets his start on SNL and immediately becomes the Musical Impression guy. The running gag is that he impersonates people he looks nothing like but somehow everyone knows EXACTLY who he is
it’s eerie, almost, and people assume that someone else is doing the impersonation and they just dub his voice in so one night for the cold open he has to run through every impersonation he’s done on the show just to prove he can do it
think of him kind of like jimmy fallon mixed with andy samberg because YOU GUESSED IT he does lonely island-esque shorts
Then, one fateful week, Justin Oluransi, grammy award winner and overall beautiful man, performs his newest single (THATS RIGHT, HE’S A NON APPROPRIATIVE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE)
He was 100000% in a pop boyband with Jack, Kent, and Tater when they were teenagers
they all went solo after ~drama~ occurred and jack’s got a singer/songwriter/aka Hozier vibe, kent is pure pop, ransom has a pop/r&b vibe. tater runs the label they’re all signed to.
Musical guests will sometimes do a sketch so Ransom and Holster do a Blues Brothers homage
ransom is belushi (complete with cartwheel)
holster is aykroyd (complete with dancing)
the big difference is that it’s a really top notch musical performance because they’re both great singers so holster does more than just say “soul man” in the background and ransom breaks out some choreo from his boyband days
all in all it’s a huge hit because lbr it would be hilarious
When Ransom releases his next album he comes back to host and that’s when things really pick up
he does sketches with other cast members but it’s clear that he and holster have this incredible chemistry
they sing Dick in a Box and the world is forever changed
Ransom just kind of keeps showing up a la Justin Timberlake? Like he appears throughout the seasons to continue the Motherlover/3-Way: The Golden Rule (with Lardo as lady gaga) trilogy and is consistently in sketches with Holster
Meanwhile, it’s super fucking obvious that Ransom and Holster are friends outside of this. They’re always on each other’s instagrams, TMZ spots them together, they sing Dick in a Box at one of Ransom’s shows
Then Holster leaves SNL to host The Tonight Show and SURPRISE, Ransom is his first guest
sidenote!! Holster does the celebrity games with his guests and music is HUGE so you bet your ass wheel of musical impressions is utilized
he does an AMAZING Ransom impression that only a few people have seen but most people have heard about and it’s the stuff of mysteries
Jack even agrees to come on the show because Ransom is there and they have a little reunion performance of their boiband hitz
then, in the interview with holster jack actually talks about anxiety and how it’s affected his life and it’s an interesting shift because it’s a serious interview in the midst of this fun quirky show
again, Ransom and Holster are still plastered all over each others social media and do Bro Biking
Then, one week, Ransom’s on the show even when he doesn’t have an album coming out. everyone’s interest is piqued because there’s no actual reason for ransom to be there so they assume they’re going to do a funny sketch or something just to fill time. then ransom comes out and he sits down for an actual interview.
H: so what did you do this weekend?
R: oh, I got married.
The crowd: ……………….???
H: holy hell! congrats!!
R: thanks, I’m really happy, I know I hadn’t formally announced that I was even dating anyone, but I’ve been in a relationship for years and I’ve wanted to marry them pretty much since the day we met
H: you know, this is pretty crazy. I also got married this weekend.
The crowd: ?!!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!
R: what??? Wow!!!
H: do you want to see a wedding picture
then a picture of them under the huppah appears
SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS, THEY’VE BEEN IN LOVE THE ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME
after that they don’t perform Motherlover in public anymore because it’s kind of weird but you bet your ASS they do Dick in a Box and The Golden Rule every chance they get