Today’s aesthetic: making up inspirational stories of self-discovery because you don’t want to admit that you first realised you weren’t straight because of a crush on a weird shouty cartoon character who looks like a sentient potato.
I only ever see posts about compulsory heterosexuality that talk about wlw, and it’s great to see that there’s help out there for wlw who just don’t realize they like girls yet. But how does compulsory heterosexuality affect gay men?
I never once, in the 17 years I’d been on this goddamned planet, thought that I liked men, until One (1) year ago. I’ve barely even acknowledged the fact that I’m gay, and I still struggle with it. As a young teen, I would crush on my guy classmates really bad, and yet still somehow believe that I was 100% heterosexual. But, if I’d known about compulsory heterosexuality, I may have been able to deal with it then, instead of still having to struggle with it now. I’m still uncomfortable in my identity because I was never told about it. I never saw anything saying that what I experienced was normal, or even acceptable. I wasn’t told jack shit, except that what I felt was wrong, and unacceptable. Being surrounded by christians, I sometimes wonder if any of this is okay, even now. I was always told that I’m supposed to have a girlfriend, or that one day I’ll have a wife, or any number of things that involved me and some girl. It never once, occurred to me, that I was never attracted to them. Compulsory heterosexuality affects boys too.
Yes, it’s awesome that there’s help out there for lesbians/wlw who grapple with their identity. But I’d like to also see help for gay boys/mlm who need it. Compulsory heterosexuality doesn’t just deal with wlw. It affects gay boys/mlm too.
As a bisexual dude I’m chronically conflicted over the conspicuous tendency in popular media for textually bisexual male characters to be depicted as literal demons, because on the one hand, as a trend that sort of thing has all kinds of gross subtext – but on the other hand, horns and fangs are, like, super hot.
Hey y’all, with national coming out day arriving tomorrow I just wanted to post a few quick reminders!
- You don’t have to come out if you don’t want to or if you’re not ready. Coming out can be difficult and scary, and you can take all the time you need!
- If you do want to come out, go for it! I’m proud of you guys whether you do or don’t!
- AsexualandAromanticare very real orientations and it can be just as tough to come out as either one (or both) as any other orientation.
- Orientation can be tricky! If you identified as something last year, but identify differently this year, you’re still valid either way. Sometimes it takes time to figure things like that out, and there’s nothing wrong with no longer fitting certain labels!
- If you came out as an orientation last year and identify that way still, you can definitely come out again if you choose to! Some people may find labels that fit them immediately where as others may take time to discover their identity.
- Gender can be tricky! It’s okay to be confused.
- You have every right to identify as queer if you feel like that’s the label that fits you best.
- You don’t have to be comfortable with the word queer, but remember not to shame those who wish to reclaim the word!
- If you use multiple labels, your orientation is just as real and valid as those who don’t.
- You can come out as trans, nonbinary, agender, genderfluid, bigender, intersex, aro, ace, aroace, nonbinary (orientation), (orientation & gender) etc.
Because a lot of people haven’t heard of it: amatonormativity describes the way society expects everyone to want a relationship and prioritise romance/starting a family and having kids over other things in their life. Aro or not, you have likely come across this sentiment in your life.
Examples of amatonormativity include: parents who think you owe them grandchildren, co-workers and friends asking why you’re single/not believing it’s by choice, the idea that you’ll “change your mind” about having kids when you “find the one”.
so… if i was to collect a bunch of nonbinary writers/poets/bloggers together and pay them to write essays on being nonbinary to put in an anthology would anyone be interested in that? Either reading it or writing it.
Just got some ideas and trying to feel out whether it’s a thing people want in the world.
It’s okay to be insecure about your orientation and/or gender. It’s okay to be unsure of yourself. Everyone has waves of self-doubt. Even if you were loud and proud yesterday it’s okay to be quiet today. You’re still valid and you’re still a good person. It’s okay to wave between proud and ashamed. Just please don’t take it out on yourself or others. You’ll make it through this.