LADY-GODIVA

5

Well behaved women seldom make history

LADY GODIVA DOES SOME NAKED SOCIAL JUSTICE

IT’S THE ENGLISH CITY OF COVENTRY. IT’S THE MIDDLE AGES. THINGS ARE REALLY FUCKING SHITTY, WITH ALL THE DISEASE AND POVERTY. LADY GODIVA, THE EARL’S WIFE, HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THIS FUCKERY, BECAUSE PEASANTS ARE WAY LESS FUN WHEN THEY’RE COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING POOR.

HER HUSBAND IS TAXING THE FUCK OUT OF THE CITIZENS, SO SHE TELLS HIM TO STOP THIS SHIT. HE SAYS “SURE THING, IF YOU RIDE THROUGH THE CITY BUTT-NAKED”. HE THOUGHT SHE WOULDN’T DO THE THING, BECAUSE SHE’S A MODEST HOUSEWIFE. ALSO, CHAFING, 

BUT OF COURSE SHE FUCKING DOES THE THING, BECAUSE SHE’S A SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR. SHE TELLS THE CITIZENS TO STAY INSIDE AND NOT LOOK OUT THEIR WINDOWS. THIS SOUNDS SHADY AS FUCK BUT THEY ALL WENT WITH IT. ALL EXCEPT ONE FUCKER, THE ORIGINAL PEEPING TOM, WHO MADE FUCKING EYE-HOLES IN HIS SHUTTERS AND STARE AT THE SEXY NAKED LADY ON A HORSE. OR THE SEXY NAKED HORSE. WHATEVER.

LADY GODIVA RIDES THROUGH TOWN, FREEZES HER BUTT OFF BECAUSE ENGLAND CAN BE FUCKING NIPPY, AND HER HUSBAND LOWERS THE TAXES. OH AND THE PEEPING TOM GOES FUCKING BLIND. OR DIES. OR HAS HIS EYES POKED OUT BY THE CITIZENS.