Kylie-Broflovski

4

Kylie: 

“God damn it Kenny, if you needed me to spot you for the ice cream I would have done it!”

Kenny:

“Yeah, but you know I don’t like owing people…”

Kylie:

“Dude, you know I don’t expect you to owe me, but I don’t want you pulling shit like that, What were you even going to do with him?”

Kenny:

“Nothing too bad…”

Kylie:

“Jesus, Ken.”

Boobs and Bras
  • When Kenny’s boobs finally decide to go through puberty she has to dip into her tips to buy a new bra. She really wants to get a Victoria’s Secret bra because that’s where all her friends go to shop, but she’s scared to go alone so she makes Kevin go with her. He’s really against buying a bra at Victoria’s Secret at first because he doesn’t see the allure of buying a brand name bra. When they get there he checks out the bras and says, “I can see why you would want one.” He checks out the price tag, drops the bra, and pulls Kenny out of the store and yells, “We’re going to Walmart!”
  • Kenny sleeps over at Sam’s house, and as she’s changing into her pajamas Sam notices Kenny’s sad, ill fitting, Walmart package bra. She gasps at the horribleness because Sam’s very passionate about people wearing properly fitting bras. The next time Sam gets a get gift-card from Victoria Secret she remembers Kenny’s sad bra and decides to give it to her because she needs it more. 
  • Sam goes with Kenny to get properly fitted and pick out the proper bra, and because the woman fitting Kenny is doing a horrible job Sam does it herself.
  • Sometimes there’s someone who knows how to properly fit people at Victoria’s Secret, and sometimes there isn’t. Sam  always accompanies her friends when they need new bras to make sure it’s done right. It’s gotten to the point where she no longer asks for help being fitted, but instead asks to borrow the measuring tape.
  • The first time Kylie went to Victoria’s Secret with Sam she was very surprised when Sam told her she was going to refit her. She asked to borrow the measuring tape and went to the changing room with Kylie. She told her to take off her shirt so she could get a true fit, and Kylie was startled. Sam just responded, “I’m not a lesbian, I swear!”
  • Since Sam was able to help her friends, she’s taken to just hanging out in Victoria’s Secret and helping random woman. Everyone thinks she works there because she comes in with her own measuring tape.
  • It gets to the point where all the woman at Victoria’s Secret know Sam by name, and don’t even mind her helping. They decide to offer her a job because she practically works there any way. Now, Sam is able to get discounts on all her bras and even buys bras for her friends.
  • Sam’s very good at remembering people’s sizes. 
  • Erica is the only other girl that knows how to properly fit someone, but decides not to help others. She believes that anyone with access to the internet should be able to Google “how to find your proper bra size.” The only person Erica helps is Marjorine, because her dad is a big butt about letting her use the computer for things other than school, and it’s in a family space, so Marjorine’s too embarrassed to Google things about her changing body with her dad around. Sam informs Erica that not everyone has access to the internet, like Marjorine, and Erica responds, “then you’d just be helping one other person.” 

- The OTHER Mod

8

Marjorine: 

“We had a blast this fourth! Well, Sam’s family had this great cook out in their backyard, and let me tell you something about her dad. That man can cook real swell. I had to get one of everything, and honest to God, I saw Kenny put away ten hot dogs, and three burgers. Then we hopped on next door once it got dark to mess around with some sparklers. Kenny’s big brother even managed to get us some of the bigger fireworks! All in all it was a great day.”

5

Sam:

“Of course we’re team TP for life!”

Kylie:

“Wait TP? I thought we were done with that shit?”

Cartman:

“Ugh, Not TP, TP, as in Terrance and Phillip.”

Kylie:

“Oh right, yeah team TP all the way, we gave the Queef Sisters a shot, but I guess we’re a lot more into farts than queefs.”

Sam:

“Terrance and Phillip don’t really come out with new episodes anymore, but they have this comedy act they perform live, and we got tickets to see them a while back.”

Kenny:

“Definitely worth the bruised knees.”

Kylie:

“Yea- wait bruised knees? What are you tal- EW! Fucking gross Kenny!”

2

Kylie:

“You forget the sunblock once and suddenly you’ve become a lobster. The problem with sunburns is you don’t really notice how bad they are until your skin is falling off the next day. My mom says making a paste out of cucumbers and applying it to the skin helps, but I think it’s bs. Really I’d just cover myself in lotion and exfoliate extra to remove the damaged skin, although I’m sure that will hurt like bitch. Fuck the sun.”