Knute-Berger

“Writer Wallace Stegner talked of the West as having "boomers” and “stickers,” people who exploited a place and those who nested. Add to these today’s new high-rent locust–the “hoppers”–affluent global transients who swarm through on their career paths. The effect of this is a class of people who regard our locality as a temporary roost. Hoppers live a “lifestyle,” rather than a life in an actual physical place that makes demands on them. They don’t have to adjust to the land and climate, know the local history, or be touched by any of it. They can live in a generic high-rise with concierge service and enjoy a view that might as well be a hologram.“
–Knute Berger, Pugetopolis

Crazy ass guesses about what Bertha ran into

After yesterday’s big news that Bertha had hit an unidentified underground object, readers (and eds) started speculating about what the boring machine had encountered.

You guys/us guys are funny as fuck so we thought we’d compile them for everyone to laugh at/speculate/develop elaborate conspiracy theories around.

  • Knute Berger. We’ve tweeted at Crosscut to confirm/deny these allegations. So far their silence speaks volumes.
  • The Ghost of Mayor McGinn’s Second Term. Ouch.
  • The secret tomb of Chief Sealth. If that’s true, hold onto your butts because that tunnel doesn’t stand an icebergs chance in hell of just digging through an ancient burial ground.
  • Susan Hutchison’s lost-lost haircare products. Hair so healthy, it derails major civic infrastructure projects.
  • A Shawn Kemp-sized cockroach. Yeah, or a Shawn Kemp-sized drug stash. OHNOWEDIDN’T.
  • The Seattle Freeze, which is actually a thing and it’s a giant iceberg. Go cry about it.
  • Joni Balter (she lives there). She should also maybe just do us a favor and stay there.
  • The carcass of the monorail extension. Hey let’s spend a zillion dollars and vote a million times to decide if we think that’s what it is.
  • The outer walls of the real Seattle Commons. So underground, you haven’t even heard about it.
  • A bunker filled with octocopters. Can we call it the drone zone?
  • The frozen heart of the Seattle Times editorial staff. Dude, how bad do you want to see a X-Files about this exact plot line I just invented? I want to believe.
  • The bones and buried treasure of D.B. Cooper. He’s been under our noses the whole time!
  • Alien ship. I’m not saying it’s aliens….but it’s aliens.