Bleach Newlywed Game...with captains/espada and their subordinates

As requested by anon. :)

In the Newlywed Game, newly married couples answer questions about each other to see how well they know each other. In this version, some of the Bleach captains will try to answer questions about their lieutenants, and some of the espada will try to answer questions about their fracciones. Let’s see how that goes! 

1. Byakuya (about Renji)

Byakuya: Renji’s favorite color? It must be red, like his hair.

Byakuya: His favorite fruit? Pineapple, like his hair.

Byakuya: The sexiest part of his body? His hair, I would say.

Renji: …

Renji: Captain, are you obsessed with my hair or something?

Byakuya: What gives you that idea?

2. Nnoitra (about Tesla)

Nnoitra: What small business Tesla wants to open? How the hell should I know?

Nnoitra: I didn’t even know that Tesla HAD a favorite dessert.

Nnoitra: Well, if Tesla’s favorite hobby ISN’T doing whatever the fuck I say, then he and I have a problem.

Tesla: At least you got the one, Captain.

Nnoitra: Why are we even here?

3. Unohana (about Isane)

Unohana: Isane’s favorite food? She may say that it is porridge, but she only eats porridge because she thinks it will keep her from growing. She actually prefers sweet things, like chocolate.

Unohana: Isane’s favorite way to sleep is curled into a ball around a stuffed platypus named Lloyd, although she lost him years ago and can no longer sleep that way.

Unohana: She thinks the most romantic gesture is breakfast in bed.

Isane: Y-you know me so well, Captain!

Unohana: I pay attention.

4. Soi Fon (about Omaeda)

Soi Fon: Omaeda’s favorite food is probably those crumbly chips he is always eating. 

Soi Fon: His favorite hobby is annoying me.

Soi Fon: His best quality is probably that he is pretty sweet with his little sister, I guess.

Omaeda: Captain…you don’t even know what my favorite food is?

Soi Fon: I save my brain space for important things.

5. Barragan (about Ggio)

Barragan: Ggio’s favorite activity is serving me.

Barragan: His favorite color is white, like the bones of my body

Barragan: His dream is for me to rule in my rightful place.

Ggio: Y-you got them all exactly right, Your Majesty!!!

Barragan: Of course I did,

6. Ukitake (about Rukia)

Ukitake: Rukia’s favorite animal is a bunny, of course! What an easy one!

Ukitake: Her worst fear? She has no fear. We established that.

Ukitake: Her….favorite place for “whoopie”? Uh…..I’m guessing a closet, from what I’ve heard.

Rukia: C-Captain! You were supposed to help me shut down the whole “closet fetish” thing!

Ukitake: You should have warned me that you wanted me to lie!


7. Gin (about Kira)

Gin: Izuru’s secret kink? Bondage.

Gin: His favorite scent is lemon.

Gin: His favorite sexy texture are nails being run down his back, juuuust hard enough to scratch.

Kira: ….

Kira: I don’t know what I expected.

8. Grimmjow (about Shawlong)

Grimmjow: All of my fracciones say that blue is their favorite color. They’re embarrassing that way.

Grimmjow: What Shawlong likes to do in bed? Uh, I heard he eats banana cream pie in there. Does that count?

Grimmjow: How the HELL would I know where he likes to be kissed? What the fuck?!

Shawlong: So you really don’t listen when I talk, huh?

9. Hitsugaya (about Matsumoto)

Hitsugaya: Matsumoto’s favorite designer is Tadashi.

Hitsugaya: Her favorite stripping game is when boys strip for her while she watches.

Hitsugaya: She likes to be kissed on the nose. She thinks it’s cute.

Matsumoto: Captain! You pay attention to me when I talk! 


10. Starrk

Starrk: Lilinette’s favorite number is 8.

Starrk: Her dream home is zombie-proof and has weapons mounted on the roof.

Starrk: She only has one recurring dream. It’s about her being in a swing dancing competition with a bunch of frogs, for some reason.

Lilinette: This game is easy for people who are the same person.

Starrk: Right?


When the dark fell you listened to Scott and went to Stiles’ house.You touched the bell and in couple seconds Stiles opened the door.

Stiles:’’Hey,Y/N,come in.’’

You followed Stiles insructions and stepped in.From the place where you stood you could see Scott,Lydia,Malia,Kira and Liam,everybody standing in the living room.You followed Stiles to them.Suddenly all eyes in the room darted to you,making you feel uncomfortable.

Scott:’’Y/N,as I said earlier today you are good friend to all of us,so we think that you should know the truth.

Y/N:’’What truth?Is this some kind of prank?It’s not funny,guys.’’

Stiles:’’No,it’s not a prank.’’

Lydia:’’Okay,Y/N,What I’m going to say now might seem strange but I want you to keep your mind open for everything.Can you do that?’’

Y/N:’’I think so.’’

Lydia:’’Okay,here it goes.We,except Stiles,are all some kind of supernatural creatures.’’


Stiles:’’Yeah,it’s kind of complicated.Scott and Liam are werewolves,Scott is true alpha and Liam is his beta,he bit him to save his life.’’

Malia:’’Yeah,and I am werecoyote,half of my life I’ve spend in coyote form until Scott came and helped me to change.’’

Stiles:’’Kira is kitsune,that’s something like fox,and she can control electricity.’’

Scott:’’Lydia is a banshee,she can hear voices in her head.’’

Stiles:’’And she often ends up finding dead bodies.’’

Y/N:’’And what are you,Stiles?’’

Stiles:’’Me?I’m human,just like you.’’

Y/N:’’So you guys were all born with it?’’

Liam:’’Girls are,but Scott and I didn’t.As you heard Scott bit me to save my life and he was bitten by Malia’s father.’’

Y/N:’’Wow,this is so much new informations.’’

Kira:’’Do you trust us?’’

Y/N:’’Strangely  but yes.Yes I do.’’

Scott:’’I’m glad to hear that.’’

He looked at you and his eyes went red,Malia’s following,but only in blue colour.


I had to test this just in case but I never thought it would actually happen. Kira, it seems you can kill people without having to be there in person. I wouldn’t have believed if I hadn’t just witnessed it. Listen to me Kira: if you did indeed kill Lind. L Tailor, the man who you just saw die on television, I should tell you that he was an inmate whose execution was scheduled for today. 

That was not me.

The police arrested him in absolute secrecy so you wouldn’t have heard about him on TV or through the internet. It appears that not even you have access to information about these types of criminals.

But I assure you L is real. I do exist. 

Now, try to kill me. What’s wrong? Hurry up! Come on, right now - kill me. You gonna do it? Come on! Try to kill me. 

What’s the matter? Can’t you do it?

Well Kira, it seems that you can’t kill me after all. So there are some people you can’t kill… you’ve given me a useful hint. Let me return the favour, I’ll tell you something that I think you’ll find interesting. Although this was announced as a worldwide broadcast, the truth is we are only broadcasting in the Kanto region of Japan.

I had planned to broadcast this message around the world until we found you, but it looks like that won’t be necessary. I now know where you are.

The police treated your first killing as an unrelated incident, but in actuality the first of your victims was a suspect in Shinjuku. Of all the criminals that have recently died of heart attacks, this one’s crime was by far the least serious. Furthermore, this crime was only ever reported inside Japan.

I used that information to deduce this much: you are in Japan, and your first victim was little more than an experiment which means that you haven’t been killing for very long. We decided to broadcast in Kanto first because of its large population, and luckily we’ve found you.

To be completely honest with you, I never expected things would go this well. But it won’t be too long before I am able to sentence you, to death.

Naturally, I’m very interested to know how you are able to commit these murders without being present, but I don’t mind waiting a little bit longer. You can answer all of my questions when I catch you.

Let’s meet again soon, Kira.


MTV Teen Wolf Official Opening of Season 5

Bleach characters, Ichigo has been transformed into an orange kitten! Your reactions?

As requested by anon. :)

Renji: Ichigo’s final form….is a small, fat, orange kitten?

Rukia: That’s….that’s….


Rukia: Now he’s way too cute to fight! His enemies will be rendered helpless!

As Nodt: Incorrect, Kuchiki Rukia.

As Nodt: Haschwalth killed me. He was impervious to how adorable I am.

Rukia: Uh…


Grimmjow: I can’t believe you turned into a freakin’ cat, Kurosaki! You’re such a loser!

Ulquiorra: Grimmjow there is something you should know about yourself.


Yoruichi (in cat form): Ichigo, come pose with me!

Yoruichi: This picture will be so adorable we will be able to rule the world!

Urahara: Awww, I don’t even WANT to send Kurosaki to his probable death for the sake of the universe anymore!

Orihime: K-Kurosaki-Kun?

Orihime: [cautiously scratches kitten Ichigo’s head]

Kitten Ichigo: [immediate and loud purring]


Chad: Ichigo, plus tell me that snuggling is part of our friendship.

Ishida: For Quincy’s sake, Kurosaki, I am TRYING not to kill you while still maintaining my cover, but you sure are making it difficult!

 His little paws are so fuzzy!

Matsumoto: Look at how fuzzy his paws are, Kira!

Kira: They are certainly fuzzy.

Matsumoto: SO FUZZY

T-that kitten…


Kurosaki Ichigo, ever since I came face to face with your inner hollow, I knew you were steeped in evil.

Byakuya: But I never imagined you were THIS evil.

Rukia: N-Nii-sama, how can you say that about this fat little kitten?

Byakuya: Do not be fooled by its fluffy and chubby exterior, Rukia.

Byakuya: All cats…..are evil.

Kitten Ichigo: [yawns and blinks sleepily]

Byakuya: …

Byakuya: I will be strong.