How the captains would comfort their lieutenants after a nightmare
As requested by anon. :)
The lieutenants have had a bad dream, and they are going to their captains for comfort! How will each of the captains respond?
1. Squad 1
Sasakibe: Captain….I just had a nightmare.
Yamamoto: It is all right, Chojiro.
Yamamoto: You can stroke my softly comforting beard just as long as you need to.
Sasakibe: Thank you, Captain!!
2. Squad 2
Omaeda: I had a nightmare, Captain!
Soi Fon: Was it me bashing in your head with a metal rod for disturbing my sleep?
Soi Fon: Huh. So you aren’t prescient after all.
Omaeda: Maybe I’ll go back to bed.
3. Squad 3 (past)
Kira: Captain Ichimaru…I just had a nightmare.
Gin: Tell me about it, Izuru. I will help you understand it.
[much time later]
Gin: And that, Izuru, is how every aspect of your nightmare relates directly to your own psyche.
Gin: But don’t worry, Izuru. Just because you symbolically dreamed that all of your friends turned on you and you were forced to murder them in cold blood, that doesn’t mean that it will happen.
Gin: It simply means that your heart believes that it will happen.
Gin: I’m sure you will sleep much better now!
4. Squad 3 (current)
Kira: Captain, I had a nightmare.
Rose: Tell me about it!
Kira: …why are you getting out a notepad?
Rose: Because dreams are excellent song-writing material!
Kira: Never mind I am fine.
5. Squad 4
Isane: Captain Unohana?
Unohana: Come sit with me, Isane.
Isane: How do you always know when I’ve had a nightmare?
Unohana: A captain senses these things.
Unohana: When that captain is me.
6. Squad 5 (old)
Hinamori: A-Aizen-taicho, I’ve had a terrible dream!
Aizen: I know, Hinamori.
Aizen: That is why I showed up at your door in the middle of the night with your favorite cookies and some warm milk.
Hinamori: That is so sweet and not at all creepy!
Aizen: I am so glad.
7. Squad 5 (current)
Hinamori: I had a bad dream, Captain.
Shinji: Oh dear. So no more monster movie nights, then?
Hinamori: I don’t think it was the movies, Captain.
Hinamori: I think it was the snacks.
Shinji: But spicy fish oreos are the snack of the future!
Hinamori: Captain no
8. Squad 6
Renji: Captain, sorry to bother you, but I’ve had a nightmare and now I can’t sleep.
Byakuya: I am more than familiar with terrible dreams, Renji.
Byakuya: Sometimes I dream about how I could not save Hisana. Sometimes I dream that she is disappointed in me. Sometimes I dream that I never found her sister.
Renji: I dreamed that I was being chased by pudding!
Byakuya: Goodnight, Renji.
9. Squad 7
Iba: T-terrible dream!
Komamura: What is wrong, Tetsuzaemon?
Iba: I dreamed that all of the sunglasses in the world disappeared!
Iba: I-I know that sounds ridiculous, but…
Komamura: I will sit with you.
10. Squad 8
Nanao: I’m sorry to bother you, Captain, but….I had a nightmare.
Kyoraku: I’m so glad you came to me, Nanao-chan!
Kyoraku: Do you want to tell me about it?
Nanao: …..maybe? But I should not disturb your sleep. I’m sorry.
Kyoraku: Nanao-chan I nap all day.
Nanao: Oh right.
11. Squad 9 (past)
Hisagi: Captain Tosen, I had a nightmare and now I am too afraid to sleep.
Tosen: Nightmares are your mind’s way of processing your fear.
Tosen: You are allowed to fear them, but you must still sleep.
Hisagi: B-but what if I go right back into the nightmare??
Tosen: Then your fear will be well and truly processed. Like cheese.
Tosen: Eat your fear cheese, Shuhei.
Hisagi: Um captain, are you talking to me in your sleep?
Tosen: Yes I think I am.
12. Squad 9 (current)
Hisagi: Captain Muguruma, I had a nightmare and now I am too afraid to sleep.
Kensei: Nightmares can’t hurt you, Shuhei.
Hisagi: I know but
Kensei: Me being tired and grumpy, though. That can hurt you.
Hisagi: Can I sleep on your floor at least?
Kensei: ……..sure whatever.
13. Squad 9 (current again)
Mashiro: KENSEI KENSEI KENSEI
Kensei: W-what’s going on? Why are you here? Why are you yelling at me?
Mashiro: I HAD A NIGHTMARE
Kensei: THEN WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME?
Mashiro: BECAUSE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO COMFORT ME
Kensei: GO BACK TO SLEEP
Hisagi: I hate it when my parents fight in the middle of the night.
14. Squad 10
Matsumoto: [wakes up gasping]
Matsumoto: C-Captain! I just had a terrible nightmare!
Matsumoto: Don’t you want to hear about it, Captain?
Hitsugaya: Not really.
Matsumoto: So cold! Shouldn’t you be helping me out here, Captain??
Hitsugaya: Matsumoto, you had a nightmare while NAPPING in my OFFICE!
Matsumoto: What’s your point?
15. Squad 11
Yachiru: Ken-chan, wake up! I had a nightmare!
Kenpachi: Your nightmare candy stash is over there.
Yachiru: Thanks, Ken-chan!
Kenpachi: Sometimes I wonder if you’re really having nightmares.
16. Squad 12
Nemu: Captain, I had a nightmare.
Kurotsuchi: Does it affect me in any way?
Kurotsuchi: Then go away.
Nemu: Thanks, Captain.
17. Squad 13
Rukia: Captain, I had a nightmare!
Ukitake: And now you can’t sleep?
Ukitake: I know that feeling. I have trouble sleeping a lot. My favorite solution is WARM MILK AND HONEY!
Rukia: Why are you shouting…?
Sentaro: I’ll get it for you, Captain!
Kiyone: SHUT UP I’M GOING TO GET IT
Ukitake: I find that if I shout they’re always within hearing-distance?
Rukia: So….they watch you sleep?
Ukitake: Maybe? I’ve never inquired too closely.
Rukia: Are we the most functional or the most dysfunctional squad?