Bleach Newlywed Game...with captains/espada and their subordinates
As requested by anon. :)
In the Newlywed Game, newly married couples answer questions about each other to see how well they know each other. In this version, some of the Bleach captains will try to answer questions about their lieutenants, and some of the espada will try to answer questions about their fracciones. Let’s see how that goes!
1. Byakuya (about Renji)
Byakuya: Renji’s favorite color? It must be red, like his hair.
Byakuya: His favorite fruit? Pineapple, like his hair.
Byakuya: The sexiest part of his body? His hair, I would say.
Renji: Captain, are you obsessed with my hair or something?
Byakuya: What gives you that idea?
2. Nnoitra (about Tesla)
Nnoitra: What small business Tesla wants to open? How the hell should I know?
Nnoitra: I didn’t even know that Tesla HAD a favorite dessert.
Nnoitra: Well, if Tesla’s favorite hobby ISN’T doing whatever the fuck I say, then he and I have a problem.
Tesla: At least you got the one, Captain.
Nnoitra: Why are we even here?
3. Unohana (about Isane)
Unohana: Isane’s favorite food? She may say that it is porridge, but she only eats porridge because she thinks it will keep her from growing. She actually prefers sweet things, like chocolate.
Unohana: Isane’s favorite way to sleep is curled into a ball around a stuffed platypus named Lloyd, although she lost him years ago and can no longer sleep that way.
Unohana: She thinks the most romantic gesture is breakfast in bed.
Isane: Y-you know me so well, Captain!
Unohana: I pay attention.
4. Soi Fon (about Omaeda)
Soi Fon: Omaeda’s favorite food is probably those crumbly chips he is always eating.
Soi Fon: His favorite hobby is annoying me.
Soi Fon: His best quality is probably that he is pretty sweet with his little sister, I guess.
Omaeda: Captain…you don’t even know what my favorite food is?
Soi Fon: I save my brain space for important things.
5. Barragan (about Ggio)
Barragan: Ggio’s favorite activity is serving me.
Barragan: His favorite color is white, like the bones of my body
Barragan: His dream is for me to rule in my rightful place.
Ggio: Y-you got them all exactly right, Your Majesty!!!
Barragan: Of course I did,
6. Ukitake (about Rukia)
Ukitake: Rukia’s favorite animal is a bunny, of course! What an easy one!
Ukitake: Her worst fear? She has no fear. We established that.
Ukitake: Her….favorite place for “whoopie”? Uh…..I’m guessing a closet, from what I’ve heard.
Rukia: C-Captain! You were supposed to help me shut down the whole “closet fetish” thing!
Ukitake: You should have warned me that you wanted me to lie!
Rukia: IT’S NOT A LIE
7. Gin (about Kira)
Gin: Izuru’s secret kink? Bondage.
Gin: His favorite scent is lemon.
Gin: His favorite sexy texture are nails being run down his back, juuuust hard enough to scratch.
Kira: I don’t know what I expected.
8. Grimmjow (about Shawlong)
Grimmjow: All of my fracciones say that blue is their favorite color. They’re embarrassing that way.
Grimmjow: What Shawlong likes to do in bed? Uh, I heard he eats banana cream pie in there. Does that count?
Grimmjow: How the HELL would I know where he likes to be kissed? What the fuck?!
Shawlong: So you really don’t listen when I talk, huh?
9. Hitsugaya (about Matsumoto)
Hitsugaya: Matsumoto’s favorite designer is Tadashi.
Hitsugaya: Her favorite stripping game is when boys strip for her while she watches.
Hitsugaya: She likes to be kissed on the nose. She thinks it’s cute.
Matsumoto: Captain! You pay attention to me when I talk!
Hitsugaya: WELL YES BECAUSE YOU’RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT EVERYTHING
Starrk: Lilinette’s favorite number is 8.
Starrk: Her dream home is zombie-proof and has weapons mounted on the roof.
Starrk: She only has one recurring dream. It’s about her being in a swing dancing competition with a bunch of frogs, for some reason.
Lilinette: This game is easy for people who are the same person.