there ain’t enough hartwin android aus, surprisingly?

so here’s one. harry finds android!eggsy near a dumpster, clever fucking chobits shout-out there, was able to reboot him and eggsy wakes up with no memory of what happened to him or what was his original function was suppose to be. but he remembers he rather be called “eggsy”.

harry and eggsy pay merlin a visit bc he’s way better at mechanical and technology anyway. merlin notices that eggsy’s barcode was scratched off and gets to work c he’s p sure he’s seen eggsy’s model before.

harry lets eggsy stay with him, they get close and friendly with each other, and harry then comes to terms that he’s falling for eggsy. a month goes by and merlin calls up harry, saying he’s found out what type of android eggsy is.

turns out eggsy was a sex-android (aka a robo rentboy), that went against his programing. that’s why he ended up busted up and dumped in a dumpster. his original owners didn’t like that eggsy wasn’t doing what he was built to do.

harry is unsure if he should tell eggsy about this, but merlin says it’s better if harry tells them then eggsy finding out himself. this news doesn’t change harry’s feelings for eggsy though, because within the month of living with the android, eggsy has shown curiosity, sincerity, compassion, humor, anger and sadness. he’s like a person and harry admires that.

so harry does tell eggsy this. eggsy is actually worried this will affect his relationship with harry. harry reassures him that it doesn’t, that he loves eggsy for who he is. not whatever his original function was. eggsy admits that he’s been feeling something between them too, and they kiss.

the end, yay lol

winsky1989  asked:

For the horror prompts could you possibly do one with F and Z? Like possibly them seeing ahead the kidnapping and trying to stop it? If not I would like to see what you could do with F

F - Clairvoyant predicting disaster AU

Z - Kidnapped and held hostage AU

read it on ao3

Eggsy was in the middle of bringing Roxy her mug of hot chocolate when it happened to him. 

At the sound made by broken ceramic on the floor, Roxy perked up from her seat on the sofa and gave Eggsy a questioning look. One swift glance at his face and she already knew what was going on, phone forgotten, she dashed to his trembling form in the kitchen and kneeled down.

“What is it this time, Eggsy?” asked Roxy, her hands steadying a breathless Eggsy.

But her friend wasn’t back with her just yet, he was already lost in the mist.

In it, he saw a struggling man tied to a chair, nearly everything about him was shrouded in a dark cloud. Apart from his shoes, nothing else appeared quite as clear.

“Harry!” he exclaimed. “Harry’s in danger and he needs me.” 

“Harry?” repeated Roxy. “Where is he? Can you tell?”

“I- I can’t see much,” Eggsy said, shaking his head, eyes turning back to a normal mix of green and grey instead of a dusk-like yellow. “There were his shoes. And he was trying to get out of some sort of ties.”

Standing up shakily with the help of Roxy, Eggsy continued to recount in a rush, “He was on a chair and the room was empty. Dark.” Eggsy felt a sense of urgency overtook him and fished out his Kingsman-issued phone in his pocket, dialing Merlin’s number.

“Eggsy? Are you sure that it’s Harry? How could you tell from just his shoes?” Roxy asked as she picked up her umbrella and glasses.

“It’s a couple thing!” Eggsy shouted back and ran for the door.

Startled to silent, Roxy stared at his slowly disappearing form and said, voice filled with incredulity, “What the fuck is a couple thing?”

Eggsy almost fell to the floor the moment he woke up.

Was it a long sleep? Did he pass out? He couldn’t tell.

The last thing he remembered was being pulled apart from Roxy when they arrived at the manor. Someone covered his mouth with a cloth and the right side of his neck smarted like crazy.

Like being pricked by a tiny little needle. Or a dart.

Was he incapacitated by a tranquiliser?

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

He was supposed to be on his way to Merlin’s office and tell him of Harry’s kidnapping. And some random asshole just decided to take him hostage as well.

Was it the same fucker who took his Harry? Were they put in separate rooms?

He tried to listen for any type of movements but heard nothing. Calling out at this moment could alert the guards, if there was any, and in this type of situation, there always was.

Eggsy attempted to wiggle his upper body, there were ties around his chest and one on his hands. They weren’t made of sturdy materials. Not the kind that would hurt him if he struggled too much. Eggsy could even feel the soft, silky texture of the ribbon with the tip of his fingers. The very same kind that was used to blindfold him.

I could get myself out of this, he thought. They aren’t as tough as the ones we use at home. Thanks Harry and his obsession for intricate knots.

Eggsy was well on his way of freeing his hands, the knot loosened enough for him to ease his knuckles out if he just tried hard enough, when the door in front of him opened.

Then, nothing came.

A light breeze caressed Eggsy’s right arm, signalling him that someone just walked past.

The floor was carpeted, of course.

Someone was behind him, breathing softly and quietly, someone careful and gentle, for their fingers worked to untie first his hands then his blindfold without even straining the cloth. Not even once.

Calmer now than ever, and having smelt the familiar scent seconds ago, Eggsy exhaled dramatically, eyes still close, and asked:

“Explain, Harry.”

“Just a moment,” said his boyfriend, who had moved to play with the ties around Eggsy’s body. The man could use one of the many sharp weapons hidden in his suit but no, he had to have fun with the knots first.

“Now. If you don’t want me to put chili pepper in all of your mustard.”

“You’re not being fair. This is not my doing, by the way,” Harry said, looping the ties around his hand before carefully putting them on a hard surface.

“I thought you were on a mission.”

“I was, and I just got back. That was when Merlin told me of his grand plan.”

“Scheme,” corrected Eggsy.

“Scheme,” agreed Harry.

“So, what is this then? A funny prank of his on us?” Eggsy’s teeth would cease to exist if he didn’t stop grinding right about now.

Harry hummed, his voice came from somewhere near Eggsy’s face now, he was probably standing if Eggsy’s estimation was in any way accurate.

“I saw it, you know, you being tied to chair, helpless. I was worried,” Eggsy said.

“Through your vision?”


“What did you see?”

“Your shoes. I could see someone wearing your shoes, the ones I bought for you last month, on Valentine’s day. You were wearing it before you left for the mission yesterday.”

“My dear,” Harry whispered, “you are wearing the same ones.”

Fuck, Eggsy thought.

“Fuck,” he said aloud, earning a chuckle from Harry.

The shoes were their couple thing. Matching couple items that Eggsy had loved so much, to be using the same things Harry used, to share a special design of a mug, a pair of gloves, that his Harry also drank from or wore every day.

“It didn’t even cross my mind,” Eggsy admitted. Internally, he knew that there was rarely anything not-Harry could occupy his head for more than a span of two minutes. 

Harry’s hand came to touch his beloved cheek, his thumb brushed the smooth skin, the touch undoubtedly had a soothing effect on Eggsy who sighed minutely.

Fingers lingered on Eggsy’s jaw before sliding back to cup his nape, pulling him ever so lightly forward, a soft kiss fell on his forehead, his nose was filled with the warm scent of Harry.

Then, Harry backed away and said, “Open your eyes, Eggsy.”

Eggsy complied.

At Harry’s smile, he said, “Oh God.”

“That’s not what I was expecting.”

“Nor us!” Came Merlin voice from somewhere outside the room.

“You mean-?”

“I bought this ring on the 10th of February. I was, in all sense of the word, terrified that you would say no. So when you told me we should buy those pairs of shoes, I said yes,” smiled Harry, the corners of his eyes betraying his calm mask.

“Oh, Harry,” Eggsy said, sliding down to be on the same eye level as the man he love.

“I know you like us using matching-”

“Couple,” Eggsy said immediately.

“Couple things,” Harry laughed, an adoring look overwhelmed his entire expression, “Would you maybe consider marrying me, so that we can have the same set of rings now?”

“That’s not what I was expecting.”


“Would you like to marry me? It’s what-”

“I do,” Harry said in a heartbeat.

“Harry!” Eggsy giggled and grabbed Harry’s shoulders, their lips meeting in soft whispers and fluid grace, the kind of practised ease that only people who had been together for a long time could perfect.

Couple shoes, couple mugs, couple gloves and now couple rings. Or engagement rings, as people would normally call it.

Eggsy and Harry would soon share yet another matching thing after this day.

The one-of-a-kind last name of Unwin-Hart.

horror/sci-fi aus


The film set or the theatre rehearsal is a wonderfully, sobering, and refreshing practical place to be, where you’re just back to doing what you set out to do. The reason you went to drama school, the reason you did school plays is just because you like it. You like the collaboration, you like telling stories, you like trying to nail a role. Even the research that goes with it. Having never been to university, that scratches that itch. I’m reading stuff, I’m finding out about things, even dipping my toe in learning skills that I’ve never would’ve tried. That’s the thrill of it. There’s an eagerness to get back to that place, it feels like my natural habitat.

Happy Birthday, Colin Firth (September 10, 1960) 


Because my mum went mental, banging on about losing me as well as my dad. Didn’t want me being cannon fodder for snobs like you, judging people like me from your ivory towers with no thought about why we do what we do. We ain’t got much choice. You get me? And if we was born with same silver spoon up our arses we’d do just as well as you, if not better.