<b>Himchan and Jin, in unison:</b> I'm the most handsome of my group<p/><b></b> [Looks at each others for two seconds]<p/><b>HimJin looking at the camera embracing each others:</b> We're the most handsomes of our groups.<p/><b>Yongguk:</b> Oh lord TEDDY<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> For Tinashe's sake<p/></p>
Genre/warnings: fluff (involves a lot of sadness, tears and comforting though, so if you’re searching for something happier, this is not it).
Summary: Late in the evening you heard quiet sobs cutting through the otherwise completely silent apartment. You went to investigate, just to find a crying Himchan sitting on the edge of the bed and trying not to let you know how he felt. With just a mere idea in mind about what had happened, you didn’t hesitate to go and comfort him, helping him forget all the mean remarks and comments that had flooded him earlier that day.
He turned his head, and even though you were standing in the doorway and he, sitting on the edge of his king sized bed, was on the other side of the room, you were still able to make all of his sharp features out perfectly. The dim moonlight that creeped it’s way through the wide open windows and the lightly flowing curtains gently shone on his face, highlighting not only his amazing bone structure, but also his silent tears that he’s been trying to battle with for a while now. He was silent, his hands clenching the corners of the mattress and his lips pressed tightly together, making his sobs and gasps for air as silent as possible.
For anyone who didn’t know him, he would’ve looked like he was straight out of a movie scene, crying about his long-lost love or things of such kind, but you knew him better. And you had a brief idea of what was the cause for such emotions.
A few minutes of simple staring had apparently given you enough courage to go and do something about the situation. The floor lightly creaked after you’d taken exactly three steps from the doorway, and he noticed the sound, jumping at it a little and turning his face away real quick.
“Please leave,” is all he said. His tone wasn’t really harsh or demanding, it sounded more like a cry for help, although the phrase didn’t match that at all. And you could hear the amount of time he’s been feeling this way in his words, and, judging by the shakiness of his tone, it’s been a while already.
Part of you told you to obey your man, because, although you weren’t one of those “man tells, woman obeys” couples (instead just listening to each other equally), you still considered obeying him in some kinds of situations the right thing to do, simply because you thought he knew better. This time around though, you felt like doing as you pleased, which lead to you taking a few more steps until you had finally reached the end of the bed.
The second you got on it, he felt the bed sink in slightly, and sighed at the fact. His heart raced as he was conflicted between wanting to be in your arms and not wanting you to see him this way, but he didn’t have nearly enough time to think about it or debate with himself, as two familiar arms wrapped around his waist and he felt your body softly press against his from behind. You let your legs fall on either side of him, so they were gently hanging down the bed, too short to reach the floor.
“Himchan,” you said softly, stretching out the “a” a little, your face pressing against his upper back, your lips brushing against his thin white t-shirt. He tried to look away and he tried not to squirm every time he took a sharp breath in between his silent cries, but somewhere along the way he had already figured out that you knew. And if not all of this, then his hectic heartbeat would give him away, he knew exactly you could feel it.
Your hands had started moving without any command of your brain, gently playing around with his shirt and stroking the soft skin on his sides. You’d noticed how he tried to adjust his all-over-the-place breathing to your much calmer one, so you just held him close, your face and whole body pressed against his, covering him like a vulnerable child.
“Himchan,” you repeated after a while, pulling your legs back from either side of him so you could sit on your knees and reach a little higher than just his upper back with your face. Your arms unwrapped and traced his whole upper body lightly in the process of you moving them to hang loosely around his neck, resting on his broad shoulders. Your head was now next to his, your upper bodies still pressed tightly together, as your slowly started kissing him.
Leaving a trace of “it’s okays” and “I’m theres” in the form of soft gentle kisses, you started somewhere at his jawline, and decided to slowly make your way to his collarbone. He desperately tried not to cry, not to move from the sharp breaths and not to shake from the sobbing, until you started speaking.
“Baby, let it all out. Don’t hold back,” is all he needed to let a waterfall of tears and an earthquake of shaky sobs take control of his body. He was aware he was making ugly faces, and he was aware he not only felt, but also looked at his worst. His crying slightly increased in volume, although not that much, and your kisses increased as well, becoming deeper, but still staying as gentle as possible. One of your hands was now cupping the side of his face and stroking his wet cheek, wiping away tons of tears with your thumb.
You stopped kissing him for a bit and buried your face in his shoulder, quietly listening to his symphony of tears.
“Just a little…
It’s nothing… I’ll get it together.. I..”
“Shh,” you whispered into his skin, feeling that he had calmed down just enough to do what had to be done next.
Your bit your lip and lifted up your head. Your hand that was still somewhere close to his face turned his head so he would face you. Your eyes met, and you saw his red puffy ones, eyes that gave away all of his inner feelings.
You wanted to slap yourself for having these type of thoughts at a moment like this, but you couldn’t help but stare at his face. Even with red eyes and tear stained cheeks he looked so flawless, his gaze so sharp, his cheekbones, jawline and nose a true masterpiece made by good genetics and mother nature, and his lips being the thing you were about to lay your own on.
You kissed him gently, making sure he got your message clearly. You made it slightly sloppy, slow and passionate, just the way he liked it. He soon understood that this was helping tons, and tried to kiss you back as good as he could in his current state. Soon enough, his still relatively rapid breathing started slowing down, getting in sync with yours.
You would make it a few separate kisses instead of one very long one. When you pulled back but he leaned in to get some more is when you knew things were going the right way. Your right hand was holding his head firmly in place, your fingers tangled in his soft hair, trying not to pull it, instead just twisting some of it’s strands in between your fingers. In between the kisses you held your face close to his, not letting him slip or look away by still holding his head in your hand, noses touching and breaths hot against each other’s skin. His eyes didn’t open once, he kept them shut, some last lonely tears rolling down his cheeks and falling somewhere in between you two. Soon enough he’d calmed down just enough to be able to breathe properly again, and you gently moved your hand from the back of his head to his cheek, cupping it and tugging his face closer again for another round of healing.
“Come here,” you gently whispered as you pulled away, your hands sliding to perfectly land on his shoulders. He felt you slightly tugging him back, indicating that you wanted him to lie down on the bed. He didn’t argue, obeying immediately and letting you pull his bigger and heavier body down with ease.
He landed right in your arms, his head somewhere on your chest, being gently caressed by your loving hands. His hands wrapped around your body as he turned from his back to his right side, and this is when you were 100% sure that he had accepted the fact that he had just showed his weak side to you, which he tended to keep to himself, not wanting to come off as very emotional. His head tilted upwards, and soon enough you felt him burying his face in the crook of your neck.
You stayed tangled up like this for a longer amount of time. He stayed silent, and simply layed there, breathing deeply, letting himself sink into your embrace. You knew his mind was still racing, but from previous experiences you also knew that the best thing to do would be to just hold him and let him think all the negativity out before putting some other things into his head.
“Himchan,” you said in a similar fashion like the first time you called him, stretching out the “a” a little longer. He didn’t respond, but you were more than sure that he had heard you.
“Himchan, you know that I love you, right?” you softly cooed at him, not really hoping but kind of wanting any kind of response from him. You’d already given up when he shook his head, making so little movement you almost did not notice.
“And you know that I love you a lot, like, more than I ever thought I could love anybody, hmm?” another nod followed, sooner than the last one, and more noticeable as well. Of course he knew, you never hesitated to tell him.
“And you know as well that, even though no human really could reach complete perfection at any point in their existence, I think you’re the closest I’ve seen so far,” he stayed still, not reacting to your statement in any way or form.
“This is when you have to nod, babe, in case you forgot” you told him and pressed a quick kiss on the top if his head, letting your lips rest on that same exact spot for a longer time. His arms tugged on you slightly, still showing disagreement, but you ignored it, drawing circle patterns on his side with your fingers as you continued.
“I’ve never seen anyone so genuinely… Special. Really, I don’t know how to explain it. I remember feeling intimidated when I first saw you up close, and I hope you remember how I managed to screw up one sentence. Twice. The first sentence I ever said to you. Simply because I was caught off guard by how stunning you were, everything about you, starting from the model-like facial features and the messy hair you had that day, and ending with your perfect body shape. Is it too much to say that I thought you rather belonged in a museum?” you said, trying to please his crushed self-esteem and confidence. Not that any of the things you had just told him were lies, because even if it all sounded cheesy, you couldn’t deny that you really felt that way about him.
“I got to know you and couldn’t match your face with your personality at first, really. You were such a dork ,and so sweet. Being all critical of everything, but rather in a loving than a mean fashion. Acting like a kid whenever you had the opportunity, and keeping you confidence high up after being called on by people you could care less about. I admired you before I loved you, but now I’m proud to say I’ve learned to combine both,” he sighed at your statement. It was hard to talk some sense into him at moments like these, because he despised himself to the maximum, but you were nowhere near giving up.
“Babe, you’ve always been so good to me, helping me up whenever I was down, and I think you remember just as well as I do how bad it used to be,” you thought about the issues you’ve had some time ago, and, looking at Himchan’s body language, he remembered about it too.
“You were the only reason I left the house back then, because you gave me no choice. When you send me a text saying “You’ve got 30 minutes, dress cute and be in a good mood, I’m taking you out for coffee,”, how do I decline, knowing there’s a stubborn child on the other end of the line who won’t take a “no” from me? All I had left was to obey, and you never let me go straight back home after coffee. You made sure I spent some time out the house, knowing how much my four-wall environment and your absence in it brought me down, and you made me stay over at your place when I didn’t want to go back to my own, cooking dinner for me and letting me walk around in your biggest, warmest hoodies. Babe, it literally happened today as well,” you told him softly as you remembered him picking you up and inviting you to his place because he wanted to try out a new recipe. You paused for a while, stopping your fingers from drawing circles.
"And after all of this, you don’t want to accept the title I’d just given you? Or should I repeat all I just said again?” he still hadn’t moved, he was still processing everything.
“So I’ll ask again, babe, but just slightly differently. Do you know that different people are entitled in different opinions, and a big part of modern society consists of people who judge before they get to know? Do you know that believing someone who’s been with you for years, communicating with you everyday, is more trustworthy than listening to other people carelessly throw out remarks about something they have no clue about? Basically, are you aware that you shouldn’t listen to anyone who’s got bad things to say about you without getting to know you at least a little? And even the people that you know and trust, do you know that they can sometimes go too far in their remarks as well, saying things that are intentionally or unintentionally harsh and harmful, but nowhere near true?”
“Why do you sound like Yongguk trying to scold me?" he said in a pouty tone, and you knew he was slowly coming back to his regular self again.
"Simply because I used words like "modern society” and “judging without knowing” in one sentence doesn’t mean I sound like Yongguk,” you felt a smile creeping up your face.
"True. Your voice is cuter. But still, your tone was pretty similar to his, and that was weird and scary, don’t do that again please,” you were grinning full force now because he was talking the same way he always did again.
“Glad to see you’re back on earth from planet Mato, Chan," he laughed at that, and so did you. Unbelievable how a tiny speech and a funny comment could turn around the mood for a whole 180° in just seconds. You felt him shift, taking his head off your chest and resting it on the bed, pulling you down so that you would face him.
"Guess what I have in mind?” he asked, smiling a broken smile, dried up tear stains visible and eyes still red, but his tone as sweet as always.
“None of those comments anymore, I hope.”
“Nah,” he answered so casually that it almost made you crack up.
“Yes, and it’s your fault,” he smiled at you, with every passing second his smile becoming less and less broken.
“Usually I wouldn’t let you drink coffee this late, but today wish granted, let’s go get some,” you told him as you were already getting up from the bed, when you suddenly felt him pulling you back, making your body crash into his. You were caught slightly off guard when you fell on top of him, but he seemed to know exactly what he was doing, as his mouth reached for yours and captured it perfectly, his arms holding you as close as possible. You couldn’t help but smile through the kiss, as you thought how childish and immature both of you were acting, but you were glad it was this way. The way he moved, so freely and calmly, showed he was over the wave of sadness that had come over him not long ago, and the intensity of his kisses showed how grateful he was that he had you by his side, always bringing some sense back into his tired brain and his often aching heart. He stopped soon, and you laid there, faces close together and noses touching, as you smiled at each other, just enjoying one another’s presence.
He bit his lip slightly, and, still holding you by the waist with one arm, made both of you sit up. You squeaked slightly as he got up from bed, pulling you along and lifting you up in the process while turning around to go to the kitchen. You squealed and laughed, telling him to put you down and lightly hitting his chest in the process. He refused to do any of your requests though, as he carried you out of the door, his heart beating fast with happiness and his worries and problems (at least for now) completely forgotten.