I like to think that Gotham villains accidentally bump into each other on scores like its 2:33 am and riddler and croc make awkward eye contact across the walgreens before pretending they didn’t see each other
I think one thing I would love to fucking see is all of the Batman ‘villains’ getting treatment for their mental illnesses and their physical disabilities (Harvey Dent and Ventriloquist’s split-personality disorders, Ed’s Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and just see Arkham GENUINELY make attempts to help the people there.
I want to see the Batman’s Rogue Gallery actually rehabilitated into society. I don’t know if the Joker would be able to get help at this point since he refuses to truly accept help, but I want people like Victor, Ed, like Harley, like Harvey, Waylon, Crane, I want all of them to be able to lead relatively normal lives. I’d love if people treated Waylon as an actual fucking person, if they treated him with some decency.
Just… Batman criminals getting the help they need. Please. And it working.
Request: What if the
reader is upset over something so Digger decides to take it upon himself to
make them smile. So he takes them on a tour of the “wild life” aka
Suicide Squad. All the while making commentary like Steve Irwin.
Harkness/Captain Boomerang x Reader
This was really hard to write, it’s been YEARS
since I watched anything like the late Steve Irwin – hope it’s okay!
“What is going on with your face?” Digger asked you again.
“Would you piss off?” You snapped and leaned back against the alley wall.
“I’m being nothing but nice.” Digger’s voice was high pitched and offended.
“Yeah well I don’t buy it,” You snapped and jabbed your
thumb in Harley’s direction, “Go bother psycho Barbie and leave me alone.”
He shoved his hands into the pockets of his ratty coat, “Why are you being such
You shook your head angrily, “Why am I being a bitch? Because I’m a hacker and
on occasion, a hit woman, I’m not equipped to deal with this shit.” You pointed
at your neck where the micro-bomb hid and then jabbed your finger in the
direction of Slipknot’s headless body dangling in the air like a morbid piñata.
Digger scrunched in face in consideration before saying, “Well,
what can you do?”
“Just shut up Boomerang.” You snapped.
Ten minutes later you were still in the alleyway when Digger
came to lean next to you and you both watched as two of the soldiers escorting
you were enraptured watching Harley.
Digger nudged you with his elbow, “Here we have a very exciting breed, not seen
often in these parts, psychopathic blondie.”
“What are you doing?” You asked.
He put his finger up to his lips to quiet you and continued, “See the bright
colours and excess flesh, now to prey it can be seen by as a mating ritual and
lesser males will be taken in by the display. However, Blondie knows exactly
what’s she’s doing and when they get too close.” Almost on cue, one of the
soldiers went to slap Harley’s backside but didn’t get far as she swung her bat
around right into the side of his head sending him crumpling to the ground.
“Crikey!” Digger exclaimed in your ear, “An impressive
display of the strength of this species, you don’t want to find yourself on the
end of that bat!”
You covered your mouth with your hand so that you rest of
the squad couldn’t see your laughter and you half-heartedly swatted at Digger’s
arm with your hand, “What are you doing?”
“You’re being a moody bitch so I’m taking you on a wild life tour,” He
explained, “You know, we are kinda known for them back home.”
“You’re an idiot.” You told him.
“That was in never in question.” He smirked and you both followed the soldiers
out of the alley and into the streets.
After a while of the monotony of walking, Digger drifted over to you again and
nudged you with his elbow and nodded his head over to where Killer Croc was
walking slightly ahead of you.
Digger winked at you, “Now see this poor bugger, well out of
its natural environment, a beaut of a salt water croc.”
“How do you know he’s a salt water?” You interrupted with a whisper.
“He’s large and dangerous, now ssh and listen.” Digger hissed back before
continuing, “Now you don’t wanna get within half of its body length when they’re
near the water’s edge because that’s when they’re going to use those thick arms
to launch themselves straight at your neck.”
Digger glanced around at your grin and then continued again,
“Now, after we’re done here, we’re going to have to begin the careful process
of transporting the croc back to its natural habitat. It’s going to take tremendous
concentration, first we need to wrap a rope around the top jaw, then when we’re
dragging him and he goes into death roll it’s all hands on deck to jump on the
beast. It’s all about man power, one false move and you’re a goner, so that’s
why you’re gonna want to let our guy Flag go first – just in case.”
You laughed and nudged Digger playfully, all of your worries pushed to the back
of your mind.
Digger smirked at you, “If there’s one piece of advice I can
give you when dealing with a salty Croc its-”
You pulled at Digger’s coat sleeve to get his attention and gestured
for him to shut up, he looked at you in confusion until he heard Killer Croc
speak up, “No, carry on.
Against yourself, you couldn’t stop your grin as the colour drained from Digger’s
face and he turned to Killer Croc and squeaked, “Never grab a croc by the tail.”
Damien often wishes to challenge the largest Rogues with the biggest technically being Croc. To his annoyance, they seem to find his pride hilarious and won’t hurt him but rather playfully tease him. Batman is aware of what they do and won’t admit it is funny to him as well.
When you can’t find Waylon in his sewers, chances are he’s in Arkham’s library. It once took Batman over a week to locate Croc when the latter was the newest Rogue in Gotham because he mistakenly thought a library was the last place Waylon would go considering the animal-like tendencies. Now he knows better than to judge on appearances.