anonymous asked:

does anyone else struggle with emotional object permanence? (knowing someone doesn't stop loving you if they stop saying it for a few days) is there a way to handle it?

That’s an extremely common thing with people who have bpd. One way to deal with it is to have things handy that remind you that they love you. There are more ways to express love than just saying (although hearing it is The Most reassuring by far). This can be done by keeping things with you someone has given you out of love - a birthday gift, a get well card, a “this made me think of you” present. If you feel comfortable, you can even ask them to write down how they feel about you. 

I have a box of letters from friends they’ve written in the moment, or because i asked them to, and a little booklet at work my friend gave me for Christmas full of reaffirming things they feel about me. When I’m worried they don’t feel the same, I read those things and it really helps. 

If that doesn’t work, you can always try telling your friends how you feel about them, how much you care about them, how much they mean to you. I find that helps me feel more stable in my relationships and it opens up the opportunity for them to say how they feel too. Obviously you shouldn’t only tell someone you love them to hear them say it back, you should tell them because you love them, but it’s not bad or shameful to be happy when they return your feelings.


Late Night Talks| Anastasia&Kenzie

A couple minutes after 2:00 AM Anastasia flipped over the close sign and locked the door. She walked over to the bar where Kenzie was and took a seat. Resting her head on the bar as Kenzie was cleaning up,”Babe, I need a fucking drink.”