Insecure

You look at your reflection in the mirror as your hands ghost over your skin, pinching every bit of repulsive flab you obtain.  Turning to show yourself a side-view, you suck in your stomach in an attempt to find your ribs through your skin, huffing out in annoyance when you exhale.  Disgusting, you think to yourself, my body is disgusting and I hate it.You’d been standing in front of the mirror for God only knows how long, with your hair still damp from your shower and only your bra and underwear clad to your unsatisfying figure.  You were supposed to be getting ready for your date with Justin tonight, but somehow you had managed to find yourself judging every inch of who you were (and sadly, you’d been agreeing with the negatives your mind was telling you about yourself over every other thought given).  

Now, you didn’t even want to leave your house, let alone go out with your boyfriend.  The world couldn’t be bothered with someone as hideous as you, you thought.Stepping away from your reflection, you reached for your phone sitting on your bed and thumbed away a text message to cancel your date with Justin.  You really weren’t up for seeing him or anyone else right now, and you had agreed on the idea that no one else was up for seeing you either. Too ugly to be in public, you decided, thinking you were saving everyone from the sight of you.Eventually, you found your way to your bathroom where you stood in front of your own reflection once again.  Everything you saw was flawed.  Your arms jiggled too much when you waved, your cheeks were too chubby for your face, your stomach wasn’t flat enough to wear tight clothing, your thighs were big enough to cringe at — fat, that’s what it all added up to.  You were fat.

“I hate myself,” You muttered, crossing one of your arms over your chest as tears welled up in your eyes.The words had a vile taste to them and as you squeezed your eyes shut, you could feel the tears burning through your eyes; those three words repeatedly banging against your brain like a self-destructive migraine.  You dug your nails into your shoulder, trying to find solid ground in your own thoughts, but it was useless. I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself.Your eyes shot open, making you suck in a gasp as you tried to calm yourself down and just fucking breathe for a minute.  You could feel the walls closing in on you and you could swear someone was calling your name from down the hall, but all you could pay attention to was the sight of your reflection and now fuck, you wanted to puke because all you could see was fat,fat, fat and your ears were filled with an increasingly loud ringing noise as the call of your name started to die down.

You could see your hand reaching for the nearest object – a hairbrush – and you watched as you threw it at the mirror, half-heartedly satisfied as you saw your reflection shatter in front of you.  As if on impulse, you fell to the ground in sobs, hugging your knees and burying your head between your legs.“(Y/N)?” A familiar voice called from your bedroom doorway before footsteps travelled to your bathroom, “Jesus Christ, what the hell happened he–– Oh, babe…"Your head snapped up as you looked over at a very terrified and confused Justin standing in the doorway of your bathroom.  You didn’t even bother opening your mouth to speak, knowing it was too late for explanations and there was too much to get him to understand (your lip was trembling far too much for you to make out words anyway).

You took in a staggered breath as your boyfriend stepped towards you silently, tucking one arm under your knees and hooking the other around your back before picking you up without difficulty.  He brought you to your bed, not letting go of you as he took a seat on your mattress and pulled you into his chest. You tried stifling in your sobs, not wanting him to see you in a state like this.Although your boyfriend knew about your insecurity issues, he’d never seen you cry before. You haven’t been dating that long (a little over two months), and the fact that this situation had to be brought on to him so early into your relationship made you worry he would sprint out the door and out of your life as soon as the time came. God, the thought of him leaving you only brought more anxiety into your heart. You were barely making it by with Justin these days, you didn’t know how you’d manage to even leave your bed without him.

"Babe…” Justin cooed, stroking your hair as you softly sobbed into the shoulder of his shirt.You hummed a little in response and sniffled as your boyfriend ran his hand down your thigh lovingly.“Talk to me.” He whispered, kissing the crown of your head in an attempt to calm you down.You shook your head slowly, too afraid to open up to him. It terrified you, thinking about how he would react if he found out how much you disliked yourself.  He thought so highly of you and cared about you so much —to tell this boy that you hated your body and everything about you would be like stamping “PSYCHO” on your forehead. Honestly, what idiot would want to date a girl who can’t even learn to like herself? Justin took your chin between his thumb and index, lifting your head so that you could meet his eyes.  

He had nothing but sincerity and love swimming in his irises as he looked at you, giving you a little sense of reassurance when he quietly said, “Please.”And with that, you let out an exhausted sigh and spoke up.  You told him everything, spilled your broken heart out to him and he listened. He didn’t laugh, didn’t try rejecting you, didn’t interrupt you for a single moment.  He just sat there, your hand in his, and listened while rubbing loving circles with his thumb on the back of your hand.You couldn’t bear to meet his eyes even once while you spoke, but once you were finished, you finally caught his gaze…  Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, the sight of tears in your boyfriend’s eyes cracked your heart a fraction more.“Please don’t…” You muttered, a crack in your voice.

You shut your eyes for a moment, squeezing his hand before starting to speak up again, “Please don’t hate me… Or think I’m crazy. I-I know I’m messed up, but I just can’t get myself to stop thinking this way and it scares the hell out of me and I just don’t want my insecurities to scare you away.  If it makes you feel better, we can just forget any of this ever happened, just don’t leave m––"You were cut off by the touch of Justin’s kiss, soft and sensual against your lips.  Your heart rate lowered immediately with his lips pressed against yours and you hadn’t even realized your heart was racing in the first place."I love you.” He whispered, only a breath away from your lips.His words didn’t only take you by surprise, it more so put you into shock. Your whole body went numb at the sound of those three words and your eyes shot wide.

You didn’t know how to react and your thoughts were a mess.  It seemed to worry your boyfriend slightly, a sudden look of concern and fear written in his eyes until you flashed a shy smile.“And I’m not just saying that because of all this. Honestly, (Y/N), holy shit, I am in love with you.  And I need you to know that so that you never have to doubt me again. All those things you were saying about me hating you or leaving you, that’s all bullshit. I fucking love you, and now that you know you literally own my heart, you know that there is nothing you can do or say or think about yourself or anything that’ll make me walk away. I’m gonna’ help you through this, we’re gonna’ get help for you, okay, babygirl?  I can’t fucking stand to see you cry and it tears me apart to see you hurting like this.  I love you, (Y/N), and you’re gonna’ get through this. We both will.” He told you.

~~~~~

Aye surprise! ANOTHER ONE. I hope you guys liked this one! Bye lovelies. (ALSO UNEDITED)

4

“It’s hard when all you want to do is go get some ice cream like a normal kid and instead I have to be shoved into the trunk of my car so we can get through without a million people surrounding the car. I’m very thankful for where I’ve gotten and I wouldn’t trade it for anything but I am jealous of people my age who can live a normal life sometimes”

Teasing Pleasures

~Your P.O.V~

Turning to the side, you slowly opening your eyes. The room was still dark, no light besides the moons lit up the bedroom. Glancing at the bright green numbers in the clock on the bedside table, you read 3 am. You sighed, pouting slightly as memories from last night events come.Justin had teased you badly during your love-making. His luscious lips kissed every single inch of your body, making your heart beat faster than ever before. They would make their way down south, getting close to your heated core. Smirking, he had moved away when he was only inches away. You were able to forget that tease easily as things become steamy between you two. Sitting up, bringing your legs toward you chest, you glanced at Justin, who was sleeping peacefully beside you. You shiver slightly. You could still feel the sensation when he had rubbed himself against your womanhood, making you go crazy.

You had begged for him to pleasure you, to make sweet passionate love to you. You had become a moaning mess under him, calling for him to do anything toward your hot body. You wanted to feel the burn his lips left on your skin. He, being a teasing bastard, didn’t do what your desperately wanted from him, he played with your body. Getting you excited, then quickly dissolve the sensation.  "You f*cking tease.“ You whisper, narrowing your eyes at him. Remembering his fingers running down your sides, across your stomach, up your thighs, made you begin to get wet. Tracing your arms, you wanted to feel his touch on your skin. But, you weren’t going to let him touch you, oh no. You wanted to get him back. For him to cry out for you. Him begging desperately for your touch, your mouth, anything you could give him. You wanted to see his face filled with pleasurable pain when you didn’t finish the job. Smirking,your brain come up with the perfect plan.

Quickly getting out of the bed, leaving the white silk sheet on the ground. You skin formed goosebumps as you felt the cold air bite against your nude flesh. Looking through the drawer where your socks were placed,  you found the object you were looking for. Running your finger on its cool surface, you felt victorious.  Biting your lip, you walked over to his side.Grabbing his left hand, you brought it over his head, slowly, connecting it to the hand cuff. Wrapping the handcuff over the bed post, you grabbed his other hand and connected it as well. Licking your lips, you pulled the sheet away from his body, exposing his glory to your eyes. Your eyes danced as you looked at all the tattoos his body had. The small bird on the hip, to the crown next to his collarbone. Getting on the bed, you hovered over his body; supporting yourself with your knees and hands. Leaning down, you began to place wet kisses on his neck, sucking behind his ear. Justin began to stir in his sleep, moaning softly. You didn’t stop.

Moving your lips over his chin, and to his jaw. You kissed every inch, nibbling here and there. Pecking his lips a couple of tips, your teeth attached themselves to his bottom lip, pulling it slightly before letting it go. "Mhmm…Baby?” Justin whispered, opening his eyes. “Where are-what the hell?” He mummers, fully awake, when he notices he can’t move his arms. Turning his neck, he looks behind him and sees the steel handcuffs. He was confused for a second, not remembering it. The handcuffs you had used before were smaller and pink with fur. These looked like real police handcuffs. Sitting on his legs, you wait for him to notice you. He struggles against the handcuffs, pulling, twisting his hands around to get them loose.  "(Y/N), why are my hands cuffed?“ he asked, tugging his hands harder. He hissed in pain as it began to rub on his skin. You ran your nail down his chest, then in circles.

You began to draw small patterns, lazy figure eights.  You began to trace the bird on his hip, looking at him in the eyes. His stomach tensed under your touch."What’s the meaning of this?” He asked, clearing his throat as he tried to act like he wasn’t being affected by your touch. Ignoring his question, you bring your head down, your lips a centimeter away from his hip. Wrapping your mouth around the skin, your suck it, and bite if a couple of time, wanting to leave him a love bite like you had all over your body. He took in a sharp breath, biting his lip as he looked at you. You moved your lips move, leaving wet kisses over his chest.“What….what are you going?” he asked, his breath shaggy. You smirked and pecked his lips.“Just returning the favor,” you whisper.

Moving away from his lips, you lie down on his legs, his now half erection in front of you.It was half way hard, already making its journey upward. You never really got used to his massive size. He was a large, and he knew it. “Look at this, you are almost hard already.” You giggle, and blow air on to the tip. “Fuck!” He cursed, tugging on the handcuffs.You lock eyes with him, as you run a finger over the veins.   “What, Justin?” You ask, as you saw his face. It was mixed with pain and pleasure. You mentally clapped in your mind, knowing you were a step away from making him crazy. “Don’t do that baby, don’t tease me.” He lets out, his breath sharp and raspy just like you wanted it to be. You give him a confused look. “I don’t understand? I’m simply giving you pleasure.” you reply, as your cub his balls with your free hand. You massage it with your fingers, keeping your eyes locked on him. Truth to be told, you had never given the time to pleasure his dick, he never let you do anything in return when he made you feel pleasure. You agreed, but that didn’t mean you stopped thinking about how much pleasure your mouth could have given him.

He groan out in pleasure as you massaged his balls, buckling his hips slightly. Grinning like a fool, you used your other hand, wrapping it around his large erection. Your eyes widen, your hand couldn’t cover some of it. His eyes opened, a dark hint in them.You moved your hand up and down, painfully slow.“Sh*t!” he cursed, biting his bottom lip.“What do you want, baby? Tell me,” you whispered, as you increased your speed a tad.“Your lips baby, I want your lips."Lying on the bed, and supporting yourself on your elbows, you brought your lips close.You pecked the tip, giggling when he moaned. You pecked around it, and down the base. "F*ck baby. Your mouth, please!” he cried, as looked at you with lazy eyes.

Hearing him beg for your mouth was music to your ears. But you didn’t do as he said, instead you took your hand away from his base. He growled in frustration, wanting your hands and mouth back. Supporting yourself with your arms, your leaned close, then kissed him with so much passion. He respond back, kissing with much force, Licking your bottom lip, he asked for an entrance. You parted your lips, letting him enter. Both moaning, you placed one hand on his hair, pulling it slightly.He moaned inside your mouth, before puling away.“Take them off baby, I want to touch you.” He mumbled against your lips. You smile, and shake your head.You felt a slight poke on your thigh, making you look down.His manhood was reaching its peak, white liquid on the very tip. The heated kiss must have sparked for excitement.

Sending him a wink, you went back to lie in his feet. You spread the pre-cum around it, making Justin grind his teeth together. “What’s the matter, baby?” you ask, biting your lip. “Please baby, you know what I want.” Shaking your head, you pout.“I don’t. Please do tell me.” You reply, as you bring a bit of his pre-cum to your mouth.You suck on your finger, eyes locked, before you let it go with a ‘pop’ sound. “Jesus Christ,” he let out.“Please, babe, suck me off.” he breathed out. Acting like you didn’t hear him, you tilt your head to the side. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.”He sighs, and licks his lips. “Your mouth, I want you pretty mouth wrapped around my cock.” He told you, breathing heavy as you rubbed him. You didn’t do it, wanting to hear him beg. “Please! Baby, I need something!” he cried, as he moved his hands against the handcuffs. “Let me feel your mouth wrapped around my cock, sucking it, and licking the base,” he explained.

“Let those wonderful lips make me feel magic."You waited, knowing he was going to say it sooner or later. "Please,"You smile. “As you wish.”You rubbed your hand up and down his base, slowly at first but faster. Wrapping your lips around the tip, you sucked on it softly, afraid you would hurt him. "F*ck, (Y/N),” he moaned, as he thrust his hips. You look in more of him, everything your mouth could handle. The rest, you used your hand. You moved back, leaving him. Sticking your tongue out, you licked around him, like a lolly, before taking him again. Seeing your lips wrapped around his cock, Justin could have cum right then and there. He never knew your lips could leave him at the peak of an explosion. As you moved your head up and down, your cheek hollow, he knew he wasn’t going to last long.

Reaching down, your massaged his balls, squeezing them a few times.  He was a moaning mess under you. Cursing and asking for more. Looking up at him, he growled trying to get the handcuffs on him. “Baby, I’m going to come.” he let out as he desperately tried to take the handcuffs away. “Move your pretty mouth.” He told you. Truth to be told, you had never tasted his sweetness. He never let you. But, he had tasted yours. And looking at his face that showed his pleasure, you knew right then and there, you weren’t going to stop. All you wanted was to taste him.Digging your nails into his thighs, you swirled your tongue around him, wanting to feel every inch of him.

“Ohh!” He let out, as he erupted hot liquid into my mouth. You hardly tasted the salty substance as you swallowed it down.You let go of his cock with a ‘pop’ sound, and licked your lips. He was a sweaty mess. His chest, neck, and forehead had beads of sweat on them. He breath deeply, making his breath at pace. You quickly unhooked the handcuffs of him, throwing them on the ground. Resting your head on his chest, your heard his heart rate go back to normal. He rubbed his wrist, that were red from the struggles he had put, before he wrapped his arms around you. “That was amazing,” he whispered into your hair, kissing it. “Do you think we could do that again?” He asked, his cheeks a light shade of pink. Laughing you  kissed his lips. “We’ll see.” You replied leaning back.

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Sorry for my slacking! School is ALOT to handle lol please request. I did not check this for mistake so sorry. Love yall bye!