I kind of wanted to post an SSS tonight but the last time I posted an excerpt I was informed (by a reader who’s convinced that I’ve already written the whole chapter, as fantastic as that would be) that the teasers are “highly irritating” and have ruined the story. And while that was the minority opinion, it still wasn’t very nice to hear.
Plus I don’t even know what to share anymore. A cozy Everlark moment feels like a worthless teaser because there’s no excitement about it. A meaningful Everlark moment feels too spoilery and I’ve already given away some big scenes from the chapter, and any snippet that isn’t Everlark-centric isn’t interesting to the majority of readers.
I am so, so glad I have Astaroth and Evie in my life,
I’m so glad they’re here in the midst of a lot of chaos, like the last bits of my childhood are crumbling apart, and it’s something I’ve been dealing with for a few months but then Bandit’s passing sort’ve tossed the final stone into the pond and the ripples haven’t quite settled down yet. They’re such good dogs and I’m glad I have dogs that are well-mannered even on my off days and who love my friends and who are loved by my friends and who do a world of good in healing an aching heart.
Because it’s difficult to express in words how it feels to other human beings. It’s a private journey to lose your heart dog, and you know you’re not alone but you kind’ve want to be alone in that moment, you want to deal with it your own way, and you can’t tell anyone else in words what it’s like so no amount of syllables you string together will have any impact in making them understand you, and I think trying to form words on the matter would be more frustrating than silence, because the whole thing involved your heart and soul and no one else knew or loved that dog the way you did. They wouldn’t even come a fraction to the intensity of your feelings. And it’s difficult to fathom a being that loved you so much being gone, one of the few beings who loved you more than anything else in this world, and a love so pure that they never, ever expected anything else in return but your time and company and affection.
Of course I’m sad but I’m also happy and it’s so, so bittersweet because I got the long haul and a lot of people don’t so I am 100% absolutely grateful for that; it’s just been something I needed to deal with myself, personally, in my own way. I want to know people care and are thinking of me but I don’t want to talk about how I’m feeling because, as I mentioned, I can’t string the words together, it’s such a catastrophic mess of emotions, both good and bad and everywhere in between on the spectrum.
And it’s okay because I have amazing grief counselors on my remaining two dogs who don’t need words, theirs or mine, to comfort me; they are not Bandit by a long shot, I mean I’m pretty sure Evie would sell me to the circus for life if it meant she could get a couple belly rubs from a toddler, but I don’t need them to be him or replace him or even be my heart dogs; they are so beneficial and important and loved as they are and for who they are. They are amazing dogs and I can only take so much credit for that. I’m still a pretty new, pretty inexperienced, probably pretty mediocre dog trainer but they respond so well and do so good and give me so much and I try to give them everything back, which is partially why they’re so spoiled, but some days I just feel like I really don’t deserve them. They’re my friend without needing my constant involvement - a good snuggle on the couch in silence is good enough for them. I don’t have to make explanations and I can expect to never be judged because they don’t care about mistakes I’ve made or if I say the wrong thing or if I’m not feeling up to communicating or anything like that, they’re just happy to be there, have a ball thrown for them, go on a serene walk in the woods, get fed. To live with them is not labor, it’s not work, it’s not too much effort; it’s honestly a joy and a privilege each and every day. The trade off for any work put in is more than worth the effort. I could not have picked two better dogs out of all of the dogs in this entire world.
I don’t think I can watch TWD anymore. It was just bit much for me tonight on the gore and physiological level. I really only started watching because of Richonne, so I’ll still keep up with it through their tag.
also, imagine gaigel in a band, just messing around and having fun
Gaige would play the drums because that’s just who she is. She’s loud and you need her to make life fun and whole. It’s a punk band and she punks herself out and angel convinced her to wear red lipstick. Angel sings because haha it’s a pun and puns are really great and her voice is really soft and I feel like they’d sound like flyleaf or maybe this other band I listened to a really long time ago and all I remember is a line about God and a candle on the album cover. Angel wears black lipstick and they practice and then end up messing around and kissing and cuddling and Gaige likes to set angel on top of the base drum because it makes her at “the perfect kissing level.”
@sayallfiend Thank you! I’m sure it will be. Things have been pretty good lately tbh.
PS FFX-2 is still kicking my ass? I’m going back to X so I can name all my aeons silly things are run around fighting fiends in CTB instead of this barbaric ATB system TwT
SO I’m trying to write to get my muse back in place to write the next chapter of my other fic. AND the fabulous mel-loves-all asked me for a Oliver suspenders and sexy times. I didn’t think I could do it but I didn’t want to let Mel down… SO I am NOT a smut writer, this is only the second time I’ve ever wrote smut. BUT I hope you enjoy it :)…
THOUGH I do need apologise that it has angst because my muse really can not do angst free right now (it’s how I’m coping so sorry). SO if you haven’t seen season 3 DO NOT READ THIS… It also contains slight spoilers for 3x17 so again do not read…
Word count: 2,160 Rating: M (Seriously 18 and overs, contains sexy times) Summary: When one thing leads to another at the Diggles wedding reception, Oliver and Felicity don’t expect things to turn out the way they do.
Also Story under the cut again because of sexy times :P.