Joy Behar

The View, Gillian Anderson
  • Joy Behar: You know, before we get to the book I have to say to you, Gillian. You know, I said it to you on the break I'm a huge fan of "The Fall" which is on Netflix, you really should wat.. [watch it]*applause*. They love it! And you know, I mean, you play this sort of a hard-nosed, you know, she is a tough detective. But, for some reason, and maybe because you are so good, you manage to get that sensuality in there, that sexuality. Look at her!(pointing at the screen where they are showing Stella Gibson) She is as hot as a pistol in this (Gillian is laughing at this point) but she solves the crimes. How did you... how did you manage all that?
  • Gillian Anderson: She is a woman. We are all complicated. Am I right?
  • -The View, ABC, 3/13/2017
When someone asks why a nurse is wearing a doctor’s stethoscope

Clearly, ‘’The View’’ needs to get a new point of view 

#nursesunite

Ladies of The View-

This is not my costume, and this stethoscope does not belong to a doctor.

This is worn by an RN, and my stethoscope is used on my patients far more often than any doctors’. You see, I worked hard for this. To put this on everyday is an honor. My job is not just a career, it is a calling. One that makes me cry when I get in the car to leave a 14-hour shift because I don’t know if my patients will make it through the hours until I return. I care so deeply I spend my off days furthering my knowledge because it is what I expect of myself to be the best I can.

On National Neonatal Nurses’ Day, I am reminded of the lives that have yet to be born that will rely on me to properly care for them- listening for the subtle signs of decreasing bowel sounds or the slightest murmur which could signal trouble. I put on my scrubs knowing that I am looked at by families for reassurance, hope, and calm in the face of the unknown.

I am not just a nurse and I take this job very seriously. I will stand up for the millions like me who deserve respect.

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The View Cast talks the Presidential Election results (Watch this!)

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Throwback Thursday: Rosie O'Donnell vs. Elisabeth Hasselbeck on The View.

Can you imagine these two on Coven?

St Maarten, I love you

We sent that photo to my dad’s email on my mom’s birthday so he could show her. He, of course, printed it out and showed it to her. This vacation has been great. Tomorrow is our last full day here. Then it’s back to NYC where everyday I sweat through everything I’m wearing and the whole God damned city smells like salty garbage. Ugh. To quote Lauren, “How can I go back to New York when I know a place like this exists?”

There’s been lots of drinking and lots of beach time. It’s really exactly what I needed after this shithole summer. This summer was the absolute worst. I think it had a lot to do with working a job 5 days a week that I hated more than any job I’ve ever had. It rained a lot today and I thought, I’d still rather be here in the pouring rain than stupid NYC. Oh, and two days ago I got my official rejection from the lit agent who contacted me via Twitter. She said she, “did not fall in love with the characters” in the first 2 chapters that I’d sent her.  I just drank my way through that one–but, it oddly inspired me to put more work into sending it out. Also, the crepes here are really fucking good. Tonight we’re making our journey to the French side of the island. Jess is excited to be able to say she went to France. Also also, Kevin, apparently, hates pelicans. He gets irrationally mad every time we see one.

I finally got vaguely brown today. I gave myself a haircut in the bathroom today as well (COOL STORY). I’m going to come back to NYC completely broke, pretty tanned and about 35 pounds heavier. So what? Who cares? Stupid things we’ve quoted on vacation: Mr Toilet Man from Look Who’s Talking Too, Fred Armisen on SNL as Joy Behar from The View and Sally O'Malley from SNL. On Tuesday we went night swimming in the ocean and Lauren turned to Kevin and said, “I don’t think you’ve said anything new all day.” He replied, no doubt, with, “So what? Who cares?”

Dear Michael Alig

“Prisoner #97A6595 aka Michael Alig is officially released from prison today. In honor of that occasion, I thought I’d jot down a few thoughts about life in the new millennia to pass along to him.

Dear Michael,

It’s a very different world you’re re-entering into. So much has changed in the 17 years since you last walked among us. For instance: We have talking pictures now! And cronuts!

Boys are cuter in the 21st century. And dicks are bigger. These are facts. If you don’t believe me, spend an hour on Tumblr. Another odd thing: EVERYBODY has killer style now. Kids in Peoria are as fabulous as the kids in Williamsburg. It’s all rather dizzying, and kind of depressing. When everybody is fabulous, nobody is.

OMG. Burger King changed their french fries and the world has never been the same.

Cabs take credit cards now.

We don’t use the “t” word anymore. (It’s “trans” now) And don’t even joke about it. The PC police will GET YOU. Also: “cisgender” is a thing now. Sprinkle it liberally into conversations to give yourself a bit of gravitas.

Viral videos, blogs, GIFs, memes – there’s a whole world waiting for you online. But the internet is a scary place. Things get weird fast. I suggest dipping your feet in slowly. Gently. Here are a few fun, soothing videos to get you going: David After Dentist, The Prancercize Lady, Charlie Bit Me, Sweet Brown, Two Girls One Cup…

Technology develops at light speed now, you don’t want to get left behind. You NEED a smart phone, a computer, a DVR, and a tablet. There are no two ways around this. And be sure to keep up on all the latest upgrades and gadgets. You don’t want to be like me. I still have an iphone 4. Its calculator is an abacus. My Grindr only has Pilgrims in my area who want to hook up. It’s OLD.

Things we don’t need any more: Phone books, dictionaries, maps, and encyclopedias. They’re all in your phone. IT’S CRAZY.
Things it takes awhile to get used to not needing anymore: Photographs, books, and newspapers. You’ll fight this, but eventually you’ll succumb. It’s a paperless world now. Adapt or die.

You aren’t going to believe this one: Clubs play top 40 now. Rihanna, Britney, Katy Perry. That’s it. It’s very sad. The scene has changed. Clubs aren’t the subversive pleasure palaces of yore. Now, it’s just a thousand shrieking girls taking selfies and dancing to “Wake Me Up” by Aviccii.

95% of your time in any given club will be spent having your picture taken. Seriously. It’s. All. You. Do. Picture after picture after picture.
Smile. Snap.
Smile. Snap.
Until you want to snap someones head off.

Speaking of clubs: You’ve become a bit of a legend since you went in (YOU’RE WELCOME) and you WILL stop the room the first few times you go out. It’s an odd sensation, but even odder is when it doesn’t happen. See, you’re old now, and although many of this generation were raised on Party Monster , sometimes you’ll find yourself in a room where everybody is completely CLUELESS. They’ve never seen the Geraldos or Phil Donahues or Jenny Joneses. They’ve never heard of Angel. They don’t know or care who Julie Jewels was. They don’t even know who Andy Warhol was. A 21-year-old at WOW had never heard of Moby. MOBY. It’s weird. The generation that has the greatest access to knowledge in the history of mankind is the one that cares the least about it. So there will be places where you go where NOBODY WILL RECOGNIZE YOU and NOBODY WILL CARE. And because you are no longer a cute little twink, 20-somethings will LOOK RIGHT THROUGH YOU. Or worse: SNEER at the old man. Joy Behar once said that after 35 nobody looks at you on the beach anymore, no matter how good you look. It’s true. And it’s true everywhere. My point: Enjoy the times people recognize you, because not being recognized when your old SUUUUUUUCKS.

What else… what else….

Something happened to the Twin Towers. They aren’t there any more. Ask around for the story.

If you need a conversation opener, try “gluten.” It’s all anyone talks about anymore. Say you’re thinking of going gluten-free, and see how people light up.

Obama wants us to cough into our elbows now, instead of our balled-up fists.

You’re going to need to download the following apps ASAP: Grindr, Scruff, Jack’D, Uber, Snapchat, Vine, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, spotify, Wikipedia, Moviephone, IMDB, HuluPlus, Fruit Ninja, and Angry Birds (dated, yes, but you need to catch up)…

A crash course on social media platforms:
Facebook is where you find people you went to high school with who now own pretend farms.
Instagram is all the people you avoid at parties posting pictures of their breakfast.
Twitter is just people you don’t know making pithy comments about serious subjects they know nothing about.
Pinterest is where morbidly obese cat ladies pin pictures of what Katniss would wear.
Tumblr is micro-blogging + gay porn for tweens.
And Vine is always just sx seconds of extreme torture.

Haterz gonna hate, of course, but the worst of the worst are YouTube commenters and Redditors. You have been warned.

Stay away from Beliebers, Little Monsters, and Directioners. They make holocaust deniers seem well-reasoned. And they will cut a bitch if you cross them.

Breaking Bad. You need to Netflix that shit NOW. (Also on your to-do list: Get Netflix.)

Movies. I was thinking of starting a #MoviesMichaelNeedstoSee on Twitter, because I can’t possibly list 18 years worth of important, life-altering movies off the top of my head, but here’s where to start:Donnie Darko, Bully, Gummo, Mysterious Skin, Blair Witch, Election, Jaw Breaker, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Apt Pupil, Hedwig, Spring Breakers, Funny Games, Happiness, The Rules of Attraction, American Psycho, Boys Don’t Cry, Velvet Goldmine, Fight Club, Bad Santa, Scream, The Ice Storm, Boogie Nights, Igby Goes Down, Rushmore, Die Mommy Die, Last Days of Disco, AI, Lost Highway, 28 Days Later, Pan’s Labyrinth, District 9, Capturing the Friedmans… and on.

Funny side note: Drug dealers almost always have Party Monster on. Or Kill Bill Volume 2. Literally WITHOUT FAIL. Every drug dealer’s apartment you will ever go to (and I’m not advising you to got to any… but) there they are. There YOU are. On a loop.

Drugs. Omg, there are so many new drugs that I’m advising you not to do. You can’t, of course, because you’re on A SPIRITUALLY ENLIGHTENED PATH now – planting trees in Angel’s name and building homes for orphans and whatnot. The last thing we need is for you to chew off some hobo’s face while high on bath salts. But there’s a WORLD of new synthetic drugs you should AT LEAST be aware of: K2, Salvio, Meow Meow…
OH. There is ONE drug that you really OUGHT TO TRY. You’ll just love it, I know it.
NO SIDE EFFECTS. And NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW you’ve done it.
It’s called krocodil.
Really, Michael, I’m just going to get a tiny, little gram of krokodil as a getting out present…. Thank me later.

Well. That should get you started.

All my best wishes for you’re newly rehabilitated life. Enjoy the new millennia, it’s been waiting for you”

xxx

-James St james

In response to "The View"

I have had a few days to mull over the ignorant words spoken by Joy Behar and the other women on that show.
I find I’m insulted, hurt and all together disappointed.
Insulted that they can degrade nursing to a “costume” and “doctor’s stethoscope”. My scrubs allow me to work. My work involves moving in all ways and getting covered in every fluid imaginable. I don’t think heels and fashion wear would be appropriate for CPR.
MY stethoscope is one of many tools I use to help patients. I can’t count how many times I have caught a murmur that several doctors have missed or how many times I’ve lent MY stethoscope to a doctor.
I am hurt that once again that nurses are degraded to stereotype. Nursing is a talent to be shared. We are not the idiots too often portrayed on TV.
I didn’t go to school for 6+ years to be a doctor’s eye candy, waitress or hospital servant. I am trained and educated to react to acute changes in patient conditions. It is my CAREER and my passion.
I am mostly disappointed a out how these women can degrade other women so casually. Women have so much to contend with socially and in the work place without these women adding their two cents.
But I am also proud about how the nursing community has come together. We have flooded social media with our response. We have shown the world our souls and compassion.

I am proud to be a nurse!

Now if you will excuse me, I have lives to save….