anonymous asked:

which d*ck is the longest/shortest...?

1. sehun, also known as exo’s bulge king; free the dick is sehun’s anthem

2. chanyeol - chanyeol isn’t only 185cm tall, his dick is also tall whenever it’s pointing to the sky

3. tao - his face screams gucci, his dick i’m prada you’re nada

4. kai - should kai put a name to his dick; just like a pet? jjongah?

 5. kris - his dragon will take you to galaxy

top five with images until here

6. yixing

7. luhan

8. jongdae

9. kyungsoo

10. baekhyun

11. suho

12. minseok


im scREAMING *internally of I’ll wake my family*

there's nothing brief about boxers

Author: darkalley

Genre: boxer au, smut, fluff

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Kyungsoo’s brother Seungsoo is a local champion boxer. Being head of the boxing club, Seungsoo often brings Kyungsoo to practice sessions, and it seems all the boys have adopted him as their little mascot. Kyungsoo has had a crush on Seungsoo’s training partner Kim Jongin for almost a year now.

Admin N’s notes: HOLY SHISUS - THERE IS BOXER!JONGIN ;A; and sexual tension and have i mentioned boxer!jongin lol yes  there’s only one chapter posted but IT’S SOOOO HOT o-<-<


Exo reactions to you calling them by another member’s name.

Sehun: Chanyeol? Really. Really (Y/N). How dare you call me by a peasant name. *silence* Do you even know my real name or is this why you’ve always been calling me jagi, uh? Don’t even talk to me anymore *you can be sure he’s gonna be bitching about it all night long*

Kai: (Y/N): Kyungsoo stop tickling me it hurts. *giggle* -Kai: So now my name is Kyungsoo, right? *flashes smile* I mean, he is my wife if we listen to the internet. Maybe he’s the one I should be tickling. *he’s gonna tease you all night long but in the end, he doesn’t really care*

Tao: *he went into the kitchen to get you some food and you call him Suho* *pops his head out the kitchen door* What did you call me, baobei? -(Y/N): um, trick question right? -Tao: that’s what I thought well Suho can get you some food then. *gives you the silent treatment the entire night*

D.O.: Kai, uh? Are you secretly a-what’s our ship name? Kyungin? Jongsoo? Kaisoo shipper ? Cause I mean if you’re okay with that, this opens a lot of doors for us both. Or us three. *you blush, hard* *he dies laughing at his own joke and kisses you on the cheek* -(Y/N): I didn’t know you were such a good improv actor. *gasps* -D.O.: HOW DARE YOU WOMAN.

Chanyeol: *he kept teasing you and you called him Baekhyun on purpose to show him how annoying he was being* Did you just call me Baekhyun? -(Y/N): Did I now or was your true nature showing and I got confused? *you grin* -Chanyeol: Are you happy now? -(Y/N): Kinda, yeah. -Chanyeol: Good I can keep annoying you then.

Chen: Ahahahahah you’re joking right. *starts complaining* What is this, when my girlfriend doesn’t even remember my own name, how am i supposed to react to that. -(Y/N): Oh come on don’t be a baby, there’s 10 of you, I was bound to make a mistake at one point. -Chen: THAT’S YOUR EXCUSE? That’s not an excuse, jagi, I’m sorry but no. *from now on, whenever he makes a mistake he’ll keep reminding you about that one time you forgot his name*

Baekhyun: Is that how you wanna play, jagi? You better watch out cause I make a pretty good impression of Satansoo, you’ll be impressed. Or rather extremely freaked out. So do you want to try again without calling me by the wrong name this time. -(Y/N): please Baekhyun, will you pass me the salt? *smiles satisfied* -Baek: Nope. 

Lay: Baobeeeeeeeei. Don’t play me like that. -(Y/N): What are you talking about Luhan? I don’t understand why you’re complaining. -Lay: Baobeeeeei, stop already. -(Y/N): Stop what, Fanfan ? -Lay: Stop it now, it’s not funny anymore. -(Y/N): Come on Jongdae, you’re no fun. *he sighs and ends up leaving you pouting* 

Suho: (Y/N): Please, please, please, Fanfan can you buy me this. -Suho: Hum, jagi, I think you got me confused there. I guess this card is going back in the wallet then! -(Y/N): Suho pleaaase, I swear I thought you were Kris. I mean he’s here shopping with us today, it was an honest mistake. -Suho: Oh because Kris buys you stuff often? -(Y/N): Well when you’re not around… yeah kinda. *he puffs, gives you his card silently and walks away* -(Y/N): Thank you, I love you! -Suho: Yeah, yeah.

Kris: You dare confuse me with that peasant Sehun. *he scoffs, imitating bitchy maknae* What are you laughing at? Do I have something on my face? You can’t handle this face honey. *you can’t stop laughing* -(Y/N): that is soooo good, I didn’t know you did imitations like that. -Sehun: That’s because he doesn’t. That’s a terrible me. -Kris: That’s a terrible me. *you bump his shoulder lightly and throw your head back in laughter* -Sehun: Bunch of weirdos. -(Y/N): I love you so much, cm’here. *kiss him all over*

Luhan: *confused deer* Were you serious or was it just to annoy me a bit? -(Y/N): What are you talking about? -Luhan: Eh, don’t be like that. Did you actually mistook me for Minseok or was it a joke. *holding back your laughter* -(Y/N): I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. -Luhan: Ok I’m just gonna pretend the last 5mins never happened.

Xiumin: Jagi, I saw a video where you told fans you were dating Luhan, what was that all about, uh? *half-pissed* -(Y/N): Hum, would you be ok with me telling you I just mixed up your names or would that be a wrong answer. -XM: Wrong answer. -(Y/N): Then it was a prank. -XM: *half-heartedly* Wow. You’re so funny I can’t believe it. They didn’t buy it though, did they? -(Y/N): No, no, they didn’t buy it. -XM: Oh ok. *forgets about it a couple of minutes later*

I had so much fun writing this. I think my favourite was Fanfan, I could just imagine him being that goofy and it’d be absolutely hilarious. Hope you enjoyed.

If you want a scenario, a ship or reactions, don’t hesitate, I’m all ears. :) ~Byye <3

anonymous asked:

Can I get an EXO reaction to their girlfriend being too into a K-Drama to give them attention? Thank you! :3

Xiumin: Ahh, my girlfriend is so cute when she’s all caught up in a drama…

Luhan: Have you seen “Back to 20″ yet, though? I was in it. Pretty darn good… I was super manly… great movie. Just saying.

Kris: I am soooo bored. SO bored. Hey babe, if you’re just gonna ignore me… can I go play ball with the guys?

Suho: That looks great and all, sweetie, but what about meee?


Baekhyun: I can watch you while you watch the drama, right? Heheh.

Chen: This is fun. I like this drama. Wow! That is a steamy scene. Let’s reenact that later! Kidding, kidding! [and the blabber continues…]

Chanyeol: Yep, ahahaha, this is greeeat. Yeeeah… I’ll totally just entertain myself. No worries…

D.O: What do you mean this drama’s better than “It’s Okay, That’s Love”?

Tao: [cuddles up in bed with you with snacks to watch the drama]

Kai: I’ll watch with you! Ahaha… that part’s cute… [slowly dozes off]

Sehun: God, she is lucky I still love her…