Jealousy kills in the a.m

A/N) this is another text post continuation. If you haven’t read the latest text post on the blog, go to @sirius-and-remus-texting
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Sirius saw red. His face was contorted in rage. He stormed to the common room, leaving Chloe behind him, baffled.

He could he? How the hell could he just go out and find someone else? What the hell was wrong with him, thinking he would flirt with some girl? It had been pretty obvious that she had been coming on to him, but he wasn’t interested. It had been a couple weeks since they had said they loved each other, and Sirius had still been on a high.

But now he was lower than low. Remus just had a backup. How could he not be hurt by that?

And who was this ‘Alex’? When did they date? Why had Sirius never heard about it? He was left in a pool of confusion as he watched Remus stare him down with a smug look on his face. And then he had made it worse by asking Chloe to go with him. This was just horrible. He didn’t want to go with Chloe. He wanted to go with his Remus.

Well, not his yet. They had confessed love for each other, sure. But nothing had happened after that. They hadn’t really figured out where they were with each other. And Sirius was left wondering if he overreacted. But he couldn’t know for sure. It was too confusing.

When the time came for him to go pick up Chloe, Sirius was sitting in the common room with a dark look on his face. He was wearing dark rinsed ripped jeans and an olive green tee shirt with his leather jacket over it. His eyes were adorned with his signature gold eyeliner, his hair in gentle waves down his neck. He pushed himself off the couch and stalked down the halls to the main door, where Chloe was waiting for him. She looked very pretty with her long brown hair in curls, her makeup done lightly, and her knee length blue dress. But Sirius didn’t care. He wanted to see Remus.

He forced a smile onto his face and walked over. “Hey, someone looks gorgeous tonight!” He said. She blushed lightly. “You don’t look too shabby yourself,” she replied. They began their walk in silence as Sirius fumed. When they were half way there, Chloe turned to him. “You gonna be okay? I know you and Remus had some sort of argument,” she said. Sirius bit the inside of his cheek before answering. “No, no it’s good. We’re all good. Just enjoy the night,” he forced out. She looked at him for a moment before shaking her head lightly and smiling. They continued on their way to the whomping willow, where Sirius went through the routine he had gone through so many times of freezing the tree and sliding beneath it before helping Chloe get through.

They heard the music before they got there. It echoed through the dirt hole that they walked through, and Sirius could feel it vibrating his body. They continued and soon emerged on the other side, where James greeted them with wide arms.

“Pads!” He yelled, sending a confused glance at Chloe before shaking it off. “And who is this lovely young lady?”

“This is Chloe,” Sirius said. “She’s my… date,” he choked over the last word. James furrowed his brow slightly, but said nothing. “Welcome! Enjoy yourself! And don’t tell anyone unless you want me hunting you down,” he winked. Chloe chuckled. “Haha I’m serious,” he muttered as he walked away, joining Lily, who was casting glances at Sirius. Remus must have told her what happened.

Sirius casted his eyes around the room. There were a few trusted friends, Mary, Dorcas, Alice, Frank. They were all mingling and chatting. Sirius sighed. Remus wasn’t there yet. “I’ll go get us drinks,” he told Chloe. He walked over to the drinks table, avoiding conversation before picking up two butter beers and turning around.

It was like magnets had been placed on his eyes as they stuck to the door. Like all the air had been sucked out of the room at his arrival.

Remus, head almost brimming the doorway, was standing right there. Sirius felt a tension he didn’t know he had been holding, release from his body. Like all the anger he had felt that day suddenly sank to the lowest part of his brain to make room for this euphoria that was the sight of Remus.

A baby blue sweater hung from Remus’ shoulders, almost two sizes too big. He wore skinny jeans underneath or it that were also light with subtle rips along the thighs. His hair was partially covering his face, more on the side with the scar. With his hands tucked in front of his waist, he looked innocent and sweet. His lip was pulled between his teeth, and his eyes were searching the room. When they found Sirius, an emotion passed through them that Sirius was too far away to decipher. But Remus turned his head behind himself and said something to the figure approaching the doorway.

The pressure returned, but three times heavier when he saw who entered behind Remus. A boy almost a little taller than Sirius, and way hotter, Sirius bitterly growled to himself, entered the room. He had his hands stuffed into the back pockets of his jeans and a tight fitted black tee shirt hugged his chest. He was lean and muscular, very fit looking. His deep brown eyes matched his hair in shade, and his caramel colored skin made him a sight no one would have been glad to miss. He was smirking at Remus, who was looking at the ground between them.

Sirius turned his back to the picture. He couldn’t bear it, seeing Remus with some other guy. It was too… wrong.

He grabbed the drinks and returned to Chloe, who had started a conversation with Mary. But they, too were staring at the door. “Wow,” Mary said, eyes wide. She looked at Sirius in shock. “It hurts. Like looking into the sun for too long.”

Sirius glared at the boy next to Remus, and shoved the drink at Mary. He didn’t say a word as he drowned his, noticing carelessly that someone had spiked the drinks.

He slammed the cup down on the table behind him. When he turned around, he was face to face with Remus’ date. He jumped back in surprise, almost hissing in shock. The boy tried to suppress his laugh, covering it poorly with a laugh.

“Hey Mary!” Remus said in a friendly voice. “Hello,” Mary replied, eyes glued to the boy next to Remus. “This is Alex, my date,” he said with a smile. Alex inclined his head at Mary and then at Chloe. “Hi,” he said, his voice a deep baritone. Sirius averted his eyes to the ground. “Sirius, you didn’t say hi,” he heard Remus say. His lip formed a slight growl before he lifted his head. A sarcastic smile formed on his lips. “Hey there, Alex. Hope you’re well,” he sneered before turning on his heel and walking away.

He stalked to the stairs where Lily and James were sitting. “I can’t believe the nerve how dare-” he grumbled. Lily laughed. “You good, there, Padfoot?” She asked. Sirius turned his head to her, anger vibrating from his features. “No. I’m not good, lily. The guy I’ve been crushing on for the past four years knows I love him and is dancing with another guy,” he just about yelled. Luckily, the music was so loud that no one heard him.

The music.

Sirius’ eyes lit up in a delightfully scary anger. The song had changed, and Sirius knew it was time for revenge. Iris by the goo goo dolls pumped through the speakers. It was Remus’ favorite song.

Sirius wiped over to Chloe, grabbed her hand, and all but dragged her to the middle of the room where people were dancing. Shocked, it took her a minute to convince her limbs to move in a dancing fashion. Sirius caste a look at Remus, who was staring at him with a hurt expression. He forced the sadness out of his gut, but it began forcing his way up his throat. He twirled around until the song came to an end, keeping his eyes anywhere but on Remus. When the song ended, he hugged Chloe close to his chest and held her hand as they walked back to Mary. He smirked evilly as he continued his conversation until he heard Remus’ voice.

“Yeah, my old friends had some issues. Like flees for example,” Remus said loudly. Sirius turned to see Remus surrounded by some of their friends, James and Lily and Peter included. “Always whining, always dramatic. Probably got it from being the least loved child.” Remus added, sending a poison glare at Sirius. Everyone in the group turned to look at him, and suddenly, he was drowning.

The eyes followed him as he left the room and ran out the front door of the shack into the warm spring air. Hot tears rolled down his face as anger exploded inside of him. He fumbled around in his pocket for his cigarettes. Remus hated it when he smoked.

He lit one and inhaled as he watched the smoke travel into the dark sky and meld with it. The moon shone bright above him. His stomach twisted. He inhaled deeply again and tried to stop the sob from escaping him, doing so poorly and feeling it catch in his throat.

Anyone but Remus, he thought. If anyone but Remus had said that, he wouldn’t have cared. Probably would have laughed. But the violence in Remus’ eyes made it clear that he was trying to cut Sirius. And, as much as he hated to admit it, it worked.

“Sirius,” a voice said from behind him. He turned sharply away from the voice, mostly to hide his tears. “No,” he whispered. “Don’t.”

A hand touched his back and he recoiled. “Don’t you dare,” he hissed. The hand released his shoulder. “Sirius, can you listen to me?” Remus begged. Sirius let out a humorless laugh. “I was listening. Don’t come too close, Lupin. You might catch my fleas,” he spat venomously.

He heard Remus let out a shaky sigh and tried to ignore the urge to turn to him and hold him tight to stop the pain. “You should go back to your entourage. I bet your new boyfriend is wondering where you are,” Sirius muttered, hunching his back against Remus’ eyes. “No,” remus growled. “What do you mea-”

Sirius was cut off by Remus spinning him around. Suddenly, lips were on his own, needy and desperate and Sirius instantly melted, nearly allowing his knees to drop from under him. Remus threaded his fingers into Sirius’ hair and deepened the kiss when Sirius suddenly realized that this was wrong.

He shoved Remus away, almost whining at the loss of contact. His stomach clenched again and he realized it had only stopped when Remus grabbed him. “No!” He all but yelled. “That was a dirty trick!”

Remus clenched his teeth, his jaw jutting out. His eyes darkened, a single strand of hair over his forehead dancing between them. “I need you to listen to me,” he yelled in a guttural voice. “I need you to understand that I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry, Sirius.”

Sirius shook his head, fresh tears tumbling down his cheeks. “No. You can’t just say sorry, Remus. It’s still not okay,” he whimpered. “Sirius, how the he’ll else was I supposed to get your attention?!” Remus yelled. Sirius sniffled. “What?” He whispered.

“You flirting with Chloe sent me off! You told me you loved me, and then what? Nothing happened! I didn’t know what we were and you expected me to sit by while you flirted and laughed like I wasn’t even there?” Remus screamed in frustration.

Sirius’ jaw had dropped about half way through that rant. He was the one who had been stuck wondering what they were to each other. He was the one who had been tiptoeing around lately, trying to avoid pressuring Remus.

“Who’s fault was it that we didn’t go anywhere?” Sirius screamed back at him. “Every day I watched you go about your life like nothing even happened! You never even hinted that you wanted- And flirting? With CHLOE? I WOULD NEVER DO THAT! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PERSON DO YOU THINK I AM?”

Sirius began to breath shallow and loud. The silence between them was filled by the thumping music from inside, which must have been drowning out their screaming match. A soft wind whistled through the tress next to the shack. Remus and Sirius stared at each other, eyes wide, as they took in the words jut exchanged. Remus was the first to break the silence.

“So… you wanted us to be… us, this whole time?” He whispered, sounding defeated. Sirius let out a gaspy laugh. “Yes,” he said. “Of course. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Remus.”

Remus smiled. And then he laughed. And then he laughed a little more. Sirius began worrying whether or not he had just hopped the train to crazy town. His eyes were spiraling in different directions, his mouth wide with a strange kind of mirth. “R-Remus?” Sirius tried. Remus began gulping down air as he calmed himself down.

All at once, he rushed to Sirius. Sirius let out a surprised yelp as he was enveloped in Remus’ arms. He wrapped his arms around remus’ neck as remus wrapped his own around Sirius’ waist, burying his face in his neck.

“This whole time,” Remus repeated, muddled by Sirius’ hair. “This whole time.”

When they broke apart, both were smiling, wide and happy. The tightness in Sirius’ chest disappeared. It was replaced with a sweet and gooey feeling. Sirius placed his hands on remus’ cheeks, feeling the bones that stood sharply, and then running his fingers over the jaw. Remus was gazing down at him and running his hands through Sirius’ hair.

“Sirius, I love you,” he said. Sirius felt as through his face could split from how wide he was smiling. “I love you, too,” he whispered.

Sirius lifted to his tiptoes and pressed his lips to remus’. There was no desperation this time. Just pure joy. A sweetness to their lips. It left Sirius’ stomach in knots.

“So are we, like, boyfriend boyfriend now?” Sirius asked in a girly voice. Remus laughed. “Yeah,” he said sweetly. “I think we are.”

They broke apart, staring at each other once again.

“What do we tell Chloe and Alex?” Sirius asked. Remus’ face turned panicked for a second. “Oh yeah,” he muttered.

“They’ll understand,” Sirius tried to promise, just because he didn’t want Remus worrying. “Okay,” Remus said, uncertainty still clear in his voice.

Hand in hand, they walked back through the door together. Eyes all over the room turned to them, and Sirius suddenly became aware of the fact that there were still traces of crying in his face. He ducked his head, but felt a hand lift his chin. “It’s okay,” Remus whispered. Sirius took a breath. It was okay. Because Remus was his and they were next to each other.

When they approached Alex, they were surprised to see Chloe standing there with him. “Hey,” remus said, his confusion pretty clear in his voice. “Hi!” Alex replied, sounding rather chipper. “Hi,” Sirius said. Chloe looked up at him shyly. “Hello,” she said. Sirius glanced down to where Chloe was keeping her eyes to notice that her hand was linked with Alex’s. “Oh,” he said in surprise. Remus followed his glance. “Oh,” he whispered.

“So are you two-” Sirius began.

“You guys were busy,” Chloe rushed out, looking at Alex for backup. He looked between her and Sirius and Remus. “Yeah,” he said lamely. Remus raised his eyebrows at Sirius.

“Hey, excuse me,” Chloe said suddenly. “We aren’t the only ones!” She pointed to Sirius and Remus’ hands. “Besides,” she continued, her voice becoming quieter. “You two are kind of perfect.” She offered them a sweet smile, which they returned.

“Well, you two seem pretty perfect, too” Remus interjected. “Do you guys know each other well?” He asked.

“We were partners in defense against the dark arts for that dementor project,” Alex said. “Ah,” Remus replied.

Suddenly, James called out over the crowd. “ABOUT DAMN TIME!” Sirius and Remus looked over to him. “LILY, YOU OWE ME FIVE SICKLES! THEY STARTED DATING BEFORE WINTER!”

Sirius and Remus laughed, blushing. Then they took to the dance floor. “I made a request,” Remus said. “I think you owe me this song.”

Iris began to play through the speakers for the second time that night. Remus sent a wink over to Peter, who was standing by the cds. A girl wondered over to where Peter was standing with s cup, which she handed to him. “That must be the girl,” Sirius whispered. They looked for a moment before turning their eyes to each other.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said. “For all of this,” Remus shook his head. “No, this was my fault. I knew you weren’t flirting with Chloe. I just, I don’t know-”

“It’s okay,” Sirius promised. Remus smiled in relief before pressing his hands to the small of Sirius’ back, and twirling him around the dance floor. They spent the rest of the night dancing, staring at each other. They didn’t. Stop touching once, not even as they stumbled through the dorm door at 3 in the morning and layed down in Remus’ bed, where they cuddled and fell asleep together. Remus, with his nose in Sirius’ hair and Sirius with his lips pressed to remus’ neck.

Requests Please!!!

PLEASE SEND REQUESTS!!!! I have only a couple to work on (one. I have one) and I want some more!!! I currently do:

-Doctor Who
-Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts
-honestly more just ask and I’ll tell you!

My favorite characters to do are:

-Tenth Doctor
-Newt Scamander

I do male x male and female x female upon requests among others, and I write anything but smut!

Thank you!

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How Taylor Swift Played The Victim For A Decade And Made Her Entire Career

Ok, so Buzzfeed released this article about Taylor Swift on January 31st and here are some key points that really stood up for me. 

  1. On Taylor´s feminism: “But, as the Washington Post pointed out: “There’s a difference between being a feminist and calling yourself a feminist. Feminism is more than just supporting your girlfriends or churning out charming catchphrases about girl power; it’s a political movement, with political aims.”
  2. About Taylor´s squad: And, in actuality, her squad flouts inclusive feminist principles by being an exclusive club, and skews overwhelmingly white, slim, and heterosexual – and this is because Swift views feminism in relation to her own personal experience alone.
  3. Again on Taylor´s feminism: Far from expressing feminist values through actual, tangible means – such as, for example, speaking publicly about Kesha’s alleged sexual assault, offering an opinion on Trump’s campaign and election, or acknowledging the Women’s March through means other than a contrived tweet – Swift invokes feminism to ensure her posture as victim.
  4. On her feud with Katy Perry and the Bad Blood song: Put differently, she prevented the eruption of an undesirable rumour by creating a new one, which reveals Swift’s true genius: her ability to manipulate the lyrics and subjects of her songs in whichever way best suits her PR desires.
  5. On her feud with Nicki Minaj and the lack of recognition for black women in the music industry: Swift has become such an expert at building narratives that she doesn’t just see herself as the victim in stories explicitly about her, but the subject of every story. (…) She prioritised herself at the centre of a struggle faced by women of colour, while ignoring the fact that the system inherently benefits her.
  6. On the feud with Kim and Kanye about that line in Famous: The feud exposed the truth that white fragility is the most imperative component of Swift’s success. Performing white female melodrama has enabled Swift to establish her posture as victim and navigate any conflict with ease, devoid of culpability. But her conflict with West cannot be dismissed as an insignificant celebrity feud, leaving a trail of snake emojis in its wake – there are sinister undertones. It proved that Swift recognised the power her white womanhood affords her – presumed innocence and empathy – and used this to her advantage in repeated acts that she surely knew would damage West’s reputation and strengthen her own. Swift propagating this narrative of fragile white womanhood to villainise a black man is “ruthless” at best, and at worst, dangerous.

I think this article really explains why I don’t really like Taylor Swift and how her playing the role of the victim is really getting old and overused. No one believes she´s the victim and this has been shown ever since the ¨break up¨ with Harry Styles and overusing that one month relationship for over two years. And it became evident to the public how fake she really is with the Kanye and Kim feud and directly after that the whole deal with her ¨relationship¨ with Tom Hiddleston. So I finish this with the final paragraph of the article which summarizes my feelings in general about her. 

She’s all about narratives, and the reinvention of her image is the start of a new one. The question is, however, after being exposed playing the victim in plain sight for over a decade, will anyone believe it?