Famous Writers As Clickbait Articles

james joyce;
You Won’t Believe The Man Who Wrote A 265,000 Word Novel Chronicling A Single Day

franz kafka;
Man Fears Being Alive, What He Writes About It Is Terrifying

john keats;
Hopeless Romantic In Love With Love Wants To Fight Everyone

f. scott fitzgerald;
Man Struggles To Let Go Of Past And Is Too Idealistic, How He Deals With It Is Shocking

jean-paul sartre;
This Man Explains How Nauseating It Is To Exist

jack kerouac;
Idealistic Youth Goes On Roadtrip Across America And Learns About Himself

edgar allan poe;
An Inside Look At The World’s Saddest Man: His Romantic View On Death Will Shock You

Never mind all these beautiful historical dramas I want a modern day sit com about the Romantic poets like

  • Byron, Shelley, and Keats are roommates.
  • Byron is constantly a dick and Keats is constantly like “fight me” and Shelley is constantly exasperated. 
  • “I swear to God, George, if you even think about fighting him-”
    “Well he asked me to.” 
    “He’s also five feet tall.” 
  • Felicia Hemans lives across the hall from them and everyone thinks she’s really sweet because she bakes a lot and dresses conservatively but she is constantly lowkey throwing shade at everyone. 
  • Byron hates her because she’s better than him at everything. 
  • Mary Wollstonecraft also lives in their building and owns a lot of t-shirts with feminist slogans on. 
  • Every time she bumps into Shelley in the hallway he asks whether her daughter is coming to visit any time soon. He is much less subtle about it than he thinks he is. 
  • Byron frequently gets into flame wars with people on the internet. 
  • “George it’s 3am why are you still awake?” 
    Someone was talking shit about Pope.”
    “Not again.” 
  • At this point, Keats and Shelley have a script they can run through every time they open the door to a crying person asking why Byron never called them back. 
  • A running joke in which there is a loud noise every time someone says Shelley’s middle name correctly. 
  • Another running joke in which Byron and his sister constantly get mistaken for a couple.