Jessica-Nigri-hot

Rooster Teeth Starters Pt. 1

“ Life’s not a bitch. Life is a beautiful woman. ”
“ Oh dog dog dog dog dog. There’s a dog next to you. Please pet ot. It needs to be pet. ”
“ Where am I? What way up am I? ”
“ I don’t hate kids, I’m inconvenienced by them. ”
“ Brunch is how I learned to be a classy alcoholic. ”
“ I love hating people. ”
“ Tears make great lube. ”
“ Everybody was gay in the 90s. ”
“ You sucked my nipples! ”
“ On a scale of one to fucked up, guess where I am right now. ”
“ The ocean has no corners. ”
“ We are not moving on until I know what a blue waffle is. ”
“ I need to lay down and die now. ”
“ That was traumatic. ”
“ I cam here to tell clean, wholesome, family jokes, and you make me show my balls/tittys! ”
“ There’s nothing more relaxing than a coma. ”
“ Thanks or being the closest thing I have to friends. ”
“ Cool is an emotion. ”
“ I guess I’m a dumb bitch. ”
“ Gravity is bullshit. ”
“ I hate everyone equally. ”
“ People aren’t cats. ”
“ I have never stuck a finger in my asshole in a sexy way and sent it to a partner because they asked me to do it. ”
“ From sucking dicks to eating cake. I love it! ”
“ Considering this may be my last testament, tell everyone I know to go fuck themselves. ”
“ I’m only gay in my car. ”
“ They died being killed. ”
“ Call me the Titanic, because I’m sinking about you. ”
“ I’m sucking that big dick in the sky right now. ”
“ Virginity is like your GPA when you’re an adult. No one fucking cares. ”
“ Tired. Sleepy. Need money. ”
“ Get fucked, me. ”
“ I’m a lovely delicate flower, and also just fuck me hard. ”
“ I thought the moon was a mile away in sixth grade. ”
“ All the pretty things are broken. ”
“ You were born to be THAT guy. ”
“ France is in Italy, right? ”
“ How up is space? ”
“ Shiver me titties. ”
“ I have the reflexes of a potato. ”
“ I BLEACHED MY BUTTHOLE FOR YOU. ”
“ Cockadoodle bitch biscuit. ”
“ Is my finger suposed to bend this way? ”
“ You don’t get warmer than hell. ”
“ You look like you fingered Elmo. ”
“ Look at all those wack-ass trees! ”
“ I wish you were naked. ”
“ Are you havin’ my ass? ”
“ You can’t out-think someone who doesn’t think. ”
“ You’ve gotta fuck things sometimes! ”
“ I get turned on by people who can beat the shit out of me. ”
“ I was just thinking about horse dick. ”
“ Ding Dong, asshole! ”
“ With great power comes, uh, you fuck shit up a lot. ”
“ You can be beautiful on the inside and outside, you piece of shit. ”
“ I am concerned about everything. ”
“ Good lord on a bike. ”
“ Time to make like a tree and branch. ”
“ Here’s a fun fact about [[name]]. They’re dying from the inside out. ”
“ I don’t trust the sun anymore. ”
“ I didn’t think that Uno without dicks could be fun. ”
“ First one to pass out is a bitch. ”
“ Y'all are supposed to shut the fuck up. ”
“ I’m going to mars out of SPITE motherfucker. ”
“ I’m made of bad ideas. ”
“ I don’t believe in numbers because I think they’re stupid. ”
“ I agreed to a scary game, not a dildo in my mouth. ”