The Vampire Chronicles:Watch the Queen conquer, part II
Gabrielle de Lioncourt,the Wild One “Come on, stand up!” she said, those cold blue eyes flashing in the lights of the burning building at the mouth of the tunnel. And in that moment as love and resentment clashed with humbling fury, I was back at home hundreds of years ago, walking with her in those cold barren fields, with her haranguing me in that impatient voice. “Get up. Move. Come on.” “What are you going to do, if I don’t?” I snarled. “Slap me?” And that’s what she did. She slapped me.”
Claudia de Lioncourt, the Princess of Eternal Youth “Stay back!” she said again. And now she slid off the couch and approached him, peering down into his face as he had peered at the child. “Absinthe, Father,” she said, “and laudanum!” “Demon!” he said to her. “Louis… put me in my coffin.” He struggled to rise. “Put me in my coffin!” His voice was hoarse, barely audible. The hand fluttered, lifted, and fell back. “I’ll put you in your coffin, Father,” she said, as though she were soothing him.“ I’ll put you in it forever.” And then, from beneath the pillows of the couch, she drew a kitchen knife.
Jesse Reeves, the Heiress of the Great Family But what was this other being? The one who sat to the right of Maharet, who stood directly opposite Marius at the far end? Now, this one truly gave him a shock. The other twin was his first rash conjecture as he stared at her green eyes and her coppery red hair. But this being had been alive yesterday, surely. And he could find no explanation for her strength, her frigid whiteness; the piercing manner in which she stared at him; and the overwhelming telepathic power that emanated from her, a cascade of dark and finely delineated images which she seemed unable to control.
Rose de Lioncourt, the Flower from the Savage Garden Uncle Lestan said, “I’ll be with you, Rose, as long as you need me.” She woke in the night crying for her mother. He held her in his arms. He felt so strong, so powerful. They stood on the edge of the patio, looking up at the cloudy sky. He told her that she was sweet and good and beautiful, and he wanted her to be happy. “When you grow up, Rose, you can be anything you want,” Uncle Lestan said. “Remember that. This is a magnificent world. And we are blessed with the gift of life in it.”
A few years ago I happened to walk into a book store (those things people used to own in romantic comedies) that sold packs of those old trading cards they used to put out along with movies and TV shows.
You know the ones!
I bought all kinds of cool trading card sets for all kind of cool old media like Alf, The Simpsons, American Gladiators and strangely the actual American Military Operation “Desert Storm” (the first of the pending Iraq War Trilogy.)
Side Note —The Desert Storm set had a pristine card featuring then Secretary of Defense and future Vice President DICK CHENEY.
If you’re asking yourself “wow, that must be worth a ton of money” — you’re right, if you consider $1.75 a ton of money.
As it happened I worked on a TV show at the time and Keanu Reeves was going to be the guest the next night. SO I decided to buy the last remaining pack of Bill and Ted trading cards to get him to sign one!
Choosing a card for him to sign was a difficult task, as the bright paint pens we had around the office did not adhere to the surface of the cards so it HAD to be a sharpie, meaning I had to find a card the featured both Keanu’s character and enough light space for a sharpie signature. These details are boring, but then again, this is a story about Keanu Reeves.
I unfortunately had to pick a card from Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, the inexplicably insane sequel to Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
For reference the plot featured Pokémon-like aliens Bill and Ted met in heaven who combine themselves into 1 alien, then with the help of Death himself build good robot versions of Bill and Ted from department store merchandise to fight off the evil robot versions of them who were sent from a gym teacher in the future to murder their medieval princess girlfriends and win the battle of the bands (yes that all actually happened.) It’s as if the drug cocaine decided it didn’t need humans anymore and just wrote a movie by itself.
And here it is!
For anyone wondering, yes Keanu Reeves still looks amazing, smells amazing, and sounds amazing — even when he’s politely asking you to stop sniffing him.
And to answer your other question, yes he thought it was weird AF but was nice enough to sign it anyway.
On another note, I think he wrote “Jesse” on it so I wouldn’t sell it on eBay but jokes on him, according to Facebook 15,000 people like Bill and Ted and of those at least one is named Jesse. Retirement money, here I come!
Anyway, that’s my story, Happy Birthday Keanu! If anyone knows Alex Winters please tell him I want him to complete this treasure and maybe talk to me about Freaked for an hour or so. K bye.
Britney Spears was pregnant, Brooke Hogan had a grill, Shawn White had long hair, Rihanna had just got her big break, Pirates of the Caribbean ruled the box office and shows like One Tree Hill, The OC and Supernatural were all in there first or second seasons.