Jess Moss


You know what the worst part about this is? It’s the party they’re having in the West Wing right now at my expense. They like to win, and then they like to gloat.
I’m sure you’re wrong. There are very serious men and women at the White House. There’s no cause to gloat.

The Outshot: Randy Moss’ Face

A listener named Clement Chow saw me ranting about this face on Twitter, and suggested I write a piece about it for my show Bullseye. So I did. You can hear the piece at 54:40 in this episode of the show.

I’ve gotta talk for a minute about Randy Moss’ face.

Because I know this is radio. I can’t just show it to you. But you’ve gotta believe me. It’s amazing.

Maybe you don’t know who Randy Moss is - he was a football player. A wide receiver. Now he talks about football on TV. 

The other day he was talking on ESPN with Trent Dilfer. Dilfer was a quarterback.

And for context here: Moss is black, Dilfer’s white.

The two of them were talking about Colin Kaepernick. He’s the 49ers quarterback who’s been taking a knee during the national anthem to protest racism in America.

And Dilfer said this thing I’m about to play for you, and Moss made a face. You’re about to hear Dilfer talking, but it’s important you imagine the look on Moss’ face. Like you wouldn’t believe this face.


Moss’ face was like… eyes narrowed. Brows furrowed. Mouth pursed. Stare at full blast. Full on-laser beams shooting from his eyes. He looked like a cartoon character with steam coming from his ears.

And maybe it was just the “I’m really paying attention face.” But oh boy did it look like the “You must be playing face.” The “you gotta be kidding me” face. Or the “This dude can’t be for real face." 

And this face went viral.

Because listen to this.


What does that even mean? The unity of the team is more important that racism? I mean, seriously?


This is a classic white people move. The call for unity. I say this as a white person. We love to tell people who are pointing out racism, who are protesting inequality… that they’re trying to tear us apart.

But Randy Moss’ face says it all.

Because us white people don’t have to live with racism. We don’t have to see it. It’s transparent to us. We can choose not to see it. As long as we’re not saying the n-word or writing "whites only” above a water fountain, we think we’re cool.
Our skin color means we can choose to look past wealth disaprities, or job discrimination, or discrimination in the legal system, or cultural hegemony, or any of a thousand other ways we are given the upper hand by our laws and culture.
But people of color know what’s really going on. Even rich people of color who get to be on TV like Randy Moss. And if people of color say something about racism, we say back that it’s an attack on unity. That they’re not doing their part to hold the country together. They’re not turning the other cheek enough.
But why is holding the country together their job? That’s what I think that face meant. 

This whole you’re promoting division thing is a trick. It’s a feint.
Protesting racism isn’t what tears us apart. Racism is what tears us apart.

Protesting racism doesn’t tear us apart. Racism tears us apart.

So Randy Moss made that face. That YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MIND face.

Here’s the deal, my fellow white people. And yeah, people of color, relax for a minute, take a break, have a sandwich. This part is between me and Trent Dilfer and all my other whites out there.

White people: it’s not people of color’s job to protect us. It’s not their job to make us feel better. It’s not their job to end racism. Ending racism is OUR JOB. We made it. Let’s unmake it.

When someone tells you about racism, whe someone protests racism, THEY are not the source of the problem. The RACISM is the source of the problem.
And we are the source of the racism. And we have the power to change it.
So Trent Dilfer: I believe you that you care. I bet you’re a good dude. I thought you seemed smart and brave when you played for my favorite team, the 49ers. Most of us are good people of good will. I believe that.

But let’s be real right now. 

Don’t want racism to get in the way of football? Let’s work to end racism.
Don’t want racism to tear our country apart? Let’s work to end racism.
If we really want unity, it’s time for US to step the heck up. Unity is within our reach. If WE step up.

You know who already stepped up? Colin Kaepernick. A brave multi-racial black guy with white parents who knows exactly how this stuff goes down on both sides of this divide. In a way that you and me Trent never will. In a way that none of us white people ever will.

Kaepernick’s telling us something. He’s asking us to do something. Let’s listen. Let’s take action. Let’s take responsibility. This is our problem. And there’s no better time for change than now.

OK: that’s all I got for white people right now. Sorry for the haranguing. I want you to know I’m not perfect, and  hope you know I love you.
OK, people of color I hope you enjoyed your break. I love you too. Welcome back.

Now everybody: I have one last proposal for unity. Let’s all go check out the look on Randy Moss’ face and laugh our asses off together.

Quotes from INTP Characters


Man does not live only in the empirical world. We must seek the ephemeral or why live?
Dr. Victor Frankenstein from Penny Dreadful

I would solve a friend’s problem… then also find a way to keep them from ending up with a new one.
Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran High School Host Club

Standing… standing at the edge of uncertainty and peering into the void. Now tell me, how did it feel?…Beautiful.
Edward Nygma, Gotham

Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.
Galadriel from The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit

Point I’m trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant, and all-round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of the beautiful, and uncomprehending in the face of the happy, so if I didn’t understand I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody’s best friend, and certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing.
Sherlock Holmes from BBC’s Sherlock

I don’t have time to argue! I’m doing this, so get out of here!
Mako from Legend of Korra

I’m Hatake Kakashi. Things I like and things I hate? I don’t feel like telling you that. My dreams for the future? Never really thought about that. As for my hobbies… I have lots of hobbies.
Hatake Kakashi from Naruto and Naruto Shippuden

I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.
Jane Eyre, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Just promise me we won’t do anything else with them. I want to go back to being weird. I like being weird. Weird is all I’ve got. That and my sweet style.
Maurice Moss from The IT Crowd

It’s getting a little West Side Story here, Dean, and I gotta warn you, my dancing skills are not up to snuff.
Jess Mariano from Gilmore Girls

Maybe he knows there are some roads you can’t come back from.
Ben Urich from Marvel’s Daredevil

Sometimes I feel like I’m just like a boat upon a winding river. Twisting toward an endless black sea, further and further. Drifting away from where I want to be. Who I want to be. 
Wirt, Over the Garden Wall

I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends.
Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter

Did ever occur to you that we don’t wanna get in touch with our feelings? That actually feeling our feelings might make it impossible to survive in here?
Poussey Washington from Orange is the New Black

Every time I deal with another person, I’m reminded how little control I have over my life.
Shizuku Mizutani from My Little Monster

Awkward is my specialty. 
Charlie Brown, Peanuts by Charles Schulz 

When bad things happen, I know you want to believe they are a joke, but sometimes life is scary and dark. That is why we must find the light.
BMO from Adventure Time

You lot, you spend all your time thinking about dying, like you’re gunna be killed by eggs, or beef, or global warming or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible - like maybe you survive.
Ninth Doctor from Doctor Who

Only a Sith Lord deals in absolutes. 
Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars

Seeing is not the same as knowing, and we must know for certain before we act.
Gaius from BBC’s Merlin

You’re not the Marco Polo of bullying me. You’re just another tourist taking pictures of a great big wall.
Abed Nadir from Community

It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.
Jean Luc-Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation

People who claim that they’re evil are usually no worse than the rest of us… It’s people who claim that they’re good, or any way better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of.
Elphaba, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire 

Just because someone stumbles and loses their way doesn’t mean that they’re lost forever. 
Charles Xavier, X-Men: Days of Future’s Past

t’s simple, really. As with any RPG, tabletop, electronic, or otherwise, the key to survival is to allow oneself to be shaped by the assigned environment. In doing so, a broad range of capabilities are acquired, allowing one to flip the script and use said capabilities to shape said environment to maximum longevity. I’m saying I’m in the process of said step two. I’ve changed, adapted, I’m a survivor.
Eugene, The Walking Dead


Ginger Snaps fans!!! I have in my possession a copy of Fangoria from 2000/2001 with a pretty great article on Ginger Snaps, with some rare photos and interesting tidbits about the making of the film. They make a few mistakes, like crediting Chris Redman as playing Ginger’s boyfriend, instead of Jesse Moss. Still a really cool article!