Jason Smith

An excerpt from One Day:

“Oh god,” Lucius groaned. “What did you do?”

The teenager wrung his hands, “Well, they asked for my name—”

“Yes?”

“—and I told them my parents were dead.”

Lucius and Tyler both stared at him for a good thirty seconds before erupting into laughter. The former leaned back in his chair until it tipped over. He held Tyler close as they toppled backwards, landing on the floor, both continuing to laugh. Tyler eventually rolled off of him, lying on his back. Jason’s face was burning. He grabbed a book and knelt down, shoving it in Lucius’ face.

“Are you trying to smother me with a book?” his guardian laughed. “That is both nonsensical and impractical. Are you sure you don’t want to be a supervillain?”

Lucius rolled over and pinned Jason down. Tyler jumped onto his back until they were all a tangled, laughing, dogpile.

They looked up as several workers approached, wearing incredulous frowns.

“Okay, we need to go,” Lucius summarized.

The three hopped to their feet and raced away.

It wasn’t until the car-ride home that Jason said, “Okay, so I’ll admit, that probably wasn’t the best pickup line.”

Lucius laughed so hard that he nearly swerved into the other lane.

“Trust me, Jason,” he said, grinning, “I’ve had much worse.”

Jason laughed at that. He looked down and groaned.

“What’s wrong?” Lucius asked.

“I forgot my backpack.”

Lucius sighed. “All right; let’s swing back around and get it.”

“No way,” the teenager yelped. “I’m never going back in there.”

“Jason, you need your backpack.”

“I’ll buy another backpack,” he said. “I’ll make another backpack.”

“Your homework was in it.”

“I’ll make another homework!”

“You’ll make another homework?”

“I’ll make another homework.”

Lucius shook his head. “Whatever you say, Mr. My Parents Are Dead.”

In which Jason is a good brother:

‘Lucius,’ Tyler signed, ‘can I get that toy?’

“Sorry, heffalump,” Lucius said, ruffling his hair. “Not today.”

He walked on ahead. Tyler sighed and signed, ‘Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?’

Unfortunately, Lucius couldn’t see him.

The boy pouted and turned to Jason. ‘Can you be annoying for me?’

Jason threw him a fingergun and a wink. “I’m on it.”

He raced ahead of their guardian and began to chant, “Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?”

“What are you doing?”

“Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?”

“You know that, to anyone else, you just look like a fifteen-year-old pleading for a stuffed antelope, right?”

“Please? Please? Please? Please? Pleeeeeeeeease?”

“All right, all right,” Lucius laughed. “Tyler, you can get the antelope.”

The boy grinned. ‘Thanks, Jason.’

“Any time.”

4

I want you to remember how you’ve made me laugh and sometimes cry, and I never want to forget how special and different you are and how you’ve touched my heart in a way that no one else could.

It turns out that Ellen Ripley isn’t the only awesome lady who can operate the Power Loader from the movie Aliens. Jason Smith created this very impressive power loader Halloween costume for himself to wear while his infant daughter sits in the driver’s seat.

Click here to watch a video of Jason and daughter operating their power loader.

“My highest priority was keeping my little girl safe, so the costume was designed for mobility and quick exit in case of emergency. The boots are basically cardboard slippers that could pop right off. With a shrug of my shoulders, I could pop the arms right off. What you can’t see from the video is that there are no bottoms on the robot arms, so my human arms were completely free and unimpeded. I could leave the claws hanging idle from the shoulder joints while I could address any of my girl’s needs. I would have had to take the suit off to changer her diaper, though!”

Jason’s daughter looks so comfy that we suspect she might even have a Class-2 rating. What a cute little overachiever.

[via Laughing Squid]