Jaromir-Jagr,

so since bob won the cup with the pens in ‘91 that means he was probably friends with jaromir jagr. obviously jaromir jagr is still playing in the nhl and now jack is playing.

do you think that when they first played each other jack tried to chirp him about being old or whatever and jags was like “remember that stanley cup i won with your dad? i watched you take a shit in it with my own two eyes. shut the fuck up jaques laurent”

when jack called bob to complain bob just laughed until jack hung up.

I hate how the NHL treats europeans like it’s appalling to me. They treat Finnish and Russian players like villains (Laine and Ovechkin), they forget that Czech Players exist (except Jagr but even with him no one talks about his nationality), players from countries not usually in the NHL aren’t appreciated enough (Frederik Andersen, Danish), Zdeno Chara, Slovakian, is seen as mean and made fun of for his European features, and there is so much pressure put on Swedish players. There were barely any European representation in the all star game, and let’s not forget that they decided to choose 4 North American Blackhawks players over many many European contenders for the 100 list. The NHL is xenophobic. it’s there, and sometimes it’s not just the NHL but the fans as well.

10

hope y’all enjoy this! I certainly did :p my friend Emily here has no knowledge of hockey but is quite funny imo. sorry for anything that is insensitive. I tried my best to tag accordingly but if y’all have anything for me to add, don’t hesitate to say so. 

Things you probably didn’t know about hockey players (pt. 2)
  • In August 2011, Steve Dangle got to interview James Reimer over phone for his first article; Dangle was reassuring Reimer the interview would take only 10 minutes, but he wasted first 5 minutes just by fixing his recording program and then, when Reimer remembered Dangle’s voice from his LFR videos, what Reimer’s wife had showed him, they spent 40 minutes talking about random things.

  • In December of his rookie career, Phil Kessel learned
    he had testicular cancer, but he didn’t play for just 2 weeks, since his entire right testicle was removed immediately. This operation removed embryonal testicular cancer from his body completely, so he didn’t need any more treatments.  

  • While in Boston, Tyler Seguin was criticized for partying too much. So the Bruins arranged a guard to watch Seguin’s hotel room during the playoffs (2011) in order to ensure he didn’t go out partying. 

  • During Bruins’ 3rd penalty kill of 2nd period in Game 3 of Eastern Conference Final 2013, Gregory Campbell’s leg was broken by Evgeni Malkin’s shot. He still continued playing, though, specifically another 55 seconds of penalty kill, skating with the broken leg too, until the puck didn’t get to neutral zone. The entire arena did standing ovation after that.

  • Do you remember “Capitals Story”, the video from Christmas 2014 by Washington Capitals? The video wasn’t even supposed to be made. Capitals had planned to make a short movie instead. The plot had to show a story about two sons (Andre Burakovsky and Nate Schmidt), their father (Tom Wilson) and their uncle (Michael Latta) shopping Christmas presents. However, the reason why they declined the idea, is a mystery.

  • Roman Josi almost fought Taylor Swift’s security guys a few years ago, when Swift (his neighbour then) was holding a house party, he, drunk, tried to enter the house. Seth Jones and Taylor Beck successfully managed to take him back home. 

  • Jamie Benn used to bully and fight his older brother Jordie a lot because he was jealous– Jordie was always more popular in school and girls liked him a lot more. Jamie even knocked out Jordie’s tooth when Jamie was 12.  

  • Brendan Gallagher was so excited about his first NHL season, that he used to greet random Montrealers, in English or French, everytime he passed around someone. He stopped even before the start of the regular season, probably after some of his new teammates told him it was weird. 

  • When he became a Panther (Aaron Ekblad’s rookie season), Jaromír Jágr has transmogrified Ekblad with a malediction of absorbing other person’s age– so poor Ekblad is getting old really quickly now and Jágr’s getting younger. Jágr probably cleared his memory too. Let’s hope we won’t see Ekblad having his first grey hair by the end of this season. 
Pittsburgh Penguin Memes
  • Sid is part of most conspiracy theories for example he’s one of the lizard people running the world, he has a spot in the great doomsday bunker, he buried the treasure at oak island ect.
  • Every time someone asks Phil for a favor he’ll say “Well i’m a Stanley Cup Champion soooo…” 
  • Connor Sheary starts every story with “back in my day,”
  • Everyone does impressions of Mike Sullivan with really bad boston accents, it gets stronger every time Sullivan says he doesn’t have an accent.
  • Every time Sid does something good someone says “not like Connor McDavid though…” 
  • Matt Murray is trying to assassinate MAF. For instance if Murray walks up to talk to Flower someone will shout “WATCH OUT, FLOWER BEHIND YOU!” 
  • Everything Sid does is linked back to the number 87 a la conspiracy videos on youtube.
  • “Thunder Bay native Kris Letang!”
  • “Father, Son and Jaromir Jagr”
  • Whenever Phil does something good someone responds with “Amanda would have done it better/faster.” Phil agrees.
  • Saying “BoninoBoninoBoninoBoninoBoninoBoninoBoninoooooo” every time they address him.
  • Sidney Crosby’s dad is actually [insert random goaltender] bonus points if it’s a goaltender younger than him or around his age.
  • Whenever Geno does a really fast zone entry, all the players on the bench say “zoom zoom.” 
  • The penalty box is referred to as Sully’s office