Excerpts from video of the "birth" and death of Candace Newmaker

Candace Newmaker died during the second week of the intensive sessions during what has been called a “rebirthing” to treat a non-existent condition called “attachment disorder”. Participating in the fatal session as therapists were Connell Watkins and Julie Ponder, along with Candace’s “therapeutic foster parents”, Brita St Clair and Jack McDaniel, and Jeane Newmaker (Candace’s foster mother).

This is the transcript of a video shown in court in the trial of Julie Ponder and Connell Watkins, who wrapped the ten-year-old girl  in a blanket, sat on her and killed her.

Timelined excerpts from the videotape of Candace Newmaker’s April 18 rebirthing session at the home of Connell Watkins in Evergreen. (Unless otherwise indicated, the comments are from Candace Newmaker.

00:00 – Therapist Julie Ponder tells Candace to lie down on the navy blue flannel sheet and get into the fetal position.

Ponder: So imagine yourself as a teeny little baby inside your mother’s womb and what it felt like. Warm. It felt tight because her stomach was all around you. (Candace is bound in the sheet, the ends twisted above her head and held by Ponder. She is covered by pillows and four adults begin pressing on her.)

01:25 – Ponder: What do you think you thought about when you where in there?

I thought I was gonna die.

Ponder: You thought you were gonna die in there?


Jeane Newmaker: I’m so excited. I’m going to have a brand new baby. I hope it’s a girl. I’m going to love her, to hold her and tell her stories…I’m going to keep her very safe… Every day we’ll be together and she’ll be with me forever.

(Candace is asked if she believes what her mother is saying.)

Uh huh.

(Candace is asked how that makes her feel.)


Watkins: If the baby doesn’t decide to be born, she will die. When the baby decides to be born it’s a wonderful thing.

Ponder: So little baby, are you ready to be reborn?

Uh huh.

Ponder: Come out head first. You have to push really hard with your feet. If you stay in there you’re going to die and your mommy’s going to die.

08:42 – Who’s sitting on me? I can’t do it.

08:53 – I can’t do it! (Crying). My hands come out first?

Watkins: Sometimes it takes 18 hours to be born.

09:36 – (Screaming) I can’t do it. I can’t do it! I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe!

10:16 – Whoever is pushing on my head it’s not helping. I can’t do it. I can’t do it. I can’t breathe. It’s too dark under here. Please quit pushing on my head I can’t do it. Somebody’s sitting on top of me.

10:50 – (Moaning) Somebody’s on top of me. Where am I supposed to come out? Right here? Where my finger is?

11:26 – I can’t do it. (Screams) I’m gonna die.

Ponder: Do you want to be reborn or do you want to stay in there and die?

11:40 – Quit pushing on me. Please. (Moaning) Quit squishing my legs. I’m gonna die now. (Screams)

Ponder: Do you want to die?

No, but I’m about to.

12:10 – Please, please I can’t breathe.

12:30 – I can’t do it anymore.

12:40 – Please quit pushing on me.

13:12 – I need some help. Help! Help me please.

Watkins: Are you feeling the contractions, mom?

Newmaker: I am.

13:43 – Where am I to go? Right here? Right here? I’m supposed to go right here? Please. Please. (Screams) OK I’m dying. OK, I’m dying. I’m sorry.

14:31 – OK, I’m dying.

14:38 – I’m going to die.

15:30 – I want to die.

16:08 – Can you let me have some oxygen? You mean, like you want me to die for real?

Ponder: Uh huh.

Die right now and go to heaven?

Ponder: Go ahead and die right now. For real. For real.

OK, I’m dead.

Watkins: It’s not always easy to live. You have to be really strong to live a life, a human life.

17:07 – (Labored breathing) Get off. I’m sick. Get off. Where am I supposed to come out? Where? But how can I get there?

Watkins: Just go ahead and die. It’s easier …It takes a lot of courage to be born.

18:26 – You said you would give me oxygen.

Watkins: You gotta fight for it.

19:50 – (Candace vomits) OK, I’m throwing up. I just threw up. (Vomiting) I gotta poop. I gotta poop.

21:24 – Uh, I’m going in my pants.

Ponder: Go ahead.

Watkins: Stay in there with the poop and vomit.

23:22 – Help! I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. It’s hot. I can’t breathe.

Newmaker: I’m so excited to have this baby. . I’m waiting for you, to love you and hold you…

Ponder: Scream, Candace.


Newmaker: Baby, I love you already. I’ll hold you and love you and keep you safe forever… Don’t give up on your life before you have it…

32:25 – 33:44 – Jack McDaniel repositions himself on a pillow over Candace’s head.

Ponder: Candace? (No response) (Takes another pillow from Newmaker.) She needs more pressure over here so she can’t…so she really needs to fight.

Watkins: Getting pretty tight in here.

Ponder: Yep…less and less air all the time.

35:39-40:00 – Ponder and McDaniel reposition themselves again.

Ponder: She gets to be stuck in her own puke and poop.

Watkins: Uh huh. It’s her own life. Quitter.

40:01: No. (This is Candace’s last word.)

McDaniel: Mama got you this far, now it’s up to you.

Watkins: Candace is used to making her life everybody else’s problem. She’s not used to living her own life.

Ponder: Quitter, quitter, quitter, quitter, quit, quit, quit, quit. She’s a quitter.

(Watkins leaves, Newmaker leaves. McDaniel takes Watkins’ place. Watkins returns.)

McDaniel: This baby doesn’t want to live. She’s a quitter.

(Watkins tells McDaniel and St. Clair to take a break.)

(Ponder and Watkins discuss someone who is stressed, then chitchat about their dream homes and a million-dollar property nearby that is being remodeled.)

Watkins: Let’s talk to the twerp.

(They unwrap Candace.)

01:09:53 - Watkins: Oh, there she is sleeping in her vomit.

Jeane Elizabeth Newmaker- Upon her arrest for criminally negligent child abuse. In a plea bargain, she pled guilty and was given a deferred sentence of four years.
Connell Jane Watkins- An acolyte of one of the earliest Attachment Therapists, Watkins gained nation wide prominence and reputation in AT circles, along with an unshakeable belief in her own abilities and judgment, to the exclusion of all others. She might change her surname to “Cooil” after finishing her sentence in 2017.
Julie Lynn Ponder- Nominally the leader of the fatal rebirthing session, she was the only licensed therapist in the room that day. She had been issued her Marriage and Family Therapist license from California just ten months before the killing. It was revoked a year after her conviction.
Jack Dudley McDaniel and Brita Lynn St Clair - en route to arraignments. The two were married shortly after they were charged for their part in Candace’s death. During her AT “intensive,” Candace stayed with them in their “therapeutic foster home.” Brita trained her as “your basic German Shepherd,” while “Daddy Jack,” an otherwise unemployed construction worker, supposedly took notes as Watkins’s “intern.”


TODAY IN THEATRE HISTORY: In 1986, the British invasion that started with Evita continues tonight as Me and My Girl “Lambeth Walk"s into the new Marquis Theatre in the Marriot Marquis Hotel on Broadway. Featured in this Mike Ockrent-directed reworking of the 1937 Noel Gay-L. Arthur Rose-Douglas Furber musical are Robert Lindsay, Maryann Plunkett, George S. Irving, and Jane Connell. Me and My Girl will win Tony Awards for its two leading players (Lindsay and Plunkett), but will lose the Best Musical award to another British import, Les Misérables. There will be 1,420 performances on Broadway.

For more on Me and My Girl, including a look inside the show’s opening nigth Playbill, visit PlaybillVault.com.

We Need a Little Christmas (Reprise)
We Need a Little Christmas (Reprise)

Angela Lansbury, Jane Connell, Sab Shimino and Roshi Handwerger stop the show cold with “We Need a Little Christmas” at the closing performance of the 1983 revival of Mame.

I thought about just uploading the song, but the scene is so charming and the performers so delightful I decided to post the entire scene (including reprise). (Scot Stewart is Beauregard Jackson Picket Burnside).

Happily Ever After
Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After” from Once Upon a Mattress (Original London Cast, 1960)

music Mary Rogers lyric Marshall Barer

performance Jane Connell

Jane Connell, who sadly passed away yesterday, will forever be Gooch for most musical theater fans.  However, before that she starred as Winifred in the original London production of Once Upon a Mattress.