• Darcy:She probably thinks I hate her now. I’ve waited my entire adolescent life for a date with this girl. You know, Elizabeth Bennet. And I decide to close the evening with a wave.
  • Bingley:It was a nice wave.
  • Darcy:At the end of a date? C’mon. There’s no such thing. You only get one shot with a girl like Lizzie. I got mine and I blew it.
  • Bingley:Which means you have nothing to lose.
  • Darcy:Nothing except my last shred of dignity.
  • Bingley:Oh no. I think that’s gone.
Literally the only three things you need to know about Jane Austen

1. Her first major novel (Northanger Abbey) was written solely because she was so salty about how dramatic and cliche and formula Gothic novels were. You know what I mean. Every castle is foreboding. Every villain is awful but can’t bring himself to kill the heroine because she’s Too Pure. Every middle-aged female companion wants to do the heroine in. The heroine is Pure and Perfect and Is Good At Everything Young Women Should Be and recites quotes and/or the Bible whenever she’s in danger and that makes everything better. All butlers are evil. Jane Austen wrote a book specifically to go “THIS is how NORMAL people react to things!!!”

2. “She never changed her opinion about books or men”

3. “As a girl she wrote stories, including burlesques of popular romances” and you know what that means. Jane Austen started off writing smut fanfiction. If that’s not writing reassurement that you can be great no matter what you choose to write, I don’t know what is.

(Both quotes from the Penguin Classics version of Northanger Abbey)

2

“That moment in 2005′s Pride and Prejudice when Elizabeth and Darcy are arguing in the rain and both their chests are heaving and with every word they’re moving closer and closer together and Elizabeth shouts “You’re the last man in the world I would ever be prevailed upon to marry!” and she’s like six inches away from Darcy and even though he’s completely crushed he looks at her lips and tilts his head slightly and she catches her breath and her mouth sort of drops open a little like GOD DAMN IT JUST KISS ALREADY” - @bethofbells (original post)

Side effects of reading a Jane Austen novel
  • An improved vocabulary
  • A general feeling of happiness
  • A higher set of expectations for a possible partner
  • A hatred for the names Wickham and Collins
  • An enthusiasm for dancing 
  • A love for introverted male leads
  • A fear of going out in the rain, as it may lead to a very serious illness
  • A desire to take walks in the countryside
  • A newfound love for the word “ardently”