on autism moms

I’ve joined lots of “autism moms support groups” on Facebook to try and teach people (who are often, but not always, allistic) more about autism and Autism $peaks, and I’ve noticed something that for some reason surprised me (even though it shouldn’t have).

the vast majority of the people in these groups care deeply for their autistic children and would give up their lives for them, just as they would for their allistic children.

and I post a lot about the grief and pain which stems from both of my parents crying out of grief when I was diagnosed with autism at 15 years old. thinking about that hurts just as much as thinking about when I tried to come out to them as nonbinary. maybe more. to this day I don’t have a clue why either of them cried beyond simply ableism. but something I’ve learned about many parents of autistic people, even including self-identified “autism parents”, is that a main reason they cry and a main reason they experience pain when they find out their child is autistic is that most of them are learning for the first time that their kid is living in a world that isn’t built for them. they’re afraid their kid is being or will be bullied, they’re afraid their kid won’t get a decent education due to lack of accommodations, they’re afraid that they as parents have been doing things wrong. you do get the occasional person who restrains their kid, or who videotapes them while they’re having a meltdown, or sends them to 40 hours of ABA a week. but when those types of people (aka the stereotypical Autism Mom™), the other people in the group are already at the child’s defense and trying to find a way to help the kid and get the Autism Mom™ to stop doing whatever it is that’s harmful and abusive before I, the autistic person who joined the group specifically to combat things like that, have to say anything. there are even people who are educated about Autism $peaks and tell people about what they’ve done and list organizations that actually helps Autistic people. there is still a very long way to go in these groups, but these people are, much more often than not, good people who try their best to help their offspring.

Today I joined Discord so I could talk to other people who were also into @CrankGameplays, and something happened that was amazing and awesome. For those of you who do not know, @crankgameplays basically set up one giant chat room with different chats going on all at once. I wasn’t going to join, mainly because I didn’t want to go through the hassle of signing up. However, today I finally caved and joined in. Most of the time what happens is you talk to people, you eventually have to leave for one reason or another, and its not really deep or anything. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but the group of people I was talking with were just as obsessed as I am and we somehow ended up talking for 3 solid hours. And we didn’t talk about random shit the entire time either. We got into some deep stuff, whether it was talking about relatives or best friends diagnosed with cancer and how to handle that, losing your pet and trying to move on, or talking about my depression that I’ve had for over a year. We supported each other and gave advice about stuff. And while yes, we did talk about some random crap, we really got to know each other. However, eventually people had to start leaving and stuff, and no one wanted to go. We wanted to be able to talk to each other. So before we left we all exchanged our Twitters and it’s been a grand total of 8 hours since, and already I get the feeling that some weird shits gonna go down eventually with all of us tweeting the same thing at Ethan or having huge conversations with each other with him tagged because we were replying to his post or whatever. It’s already happened a little bit. So anyway, basically I’ve made new friends, formed a support group with them, and had the one of the funniest times ever on Discord. I’m really looking forward to doing this more.

I know some of you haven’t watched Ds9. 

Do it. 

We that have seen are here to support you while you go through it. The pain, the suffering, the space family feels. The end of season 6 crying. The Far Beyond the Stars crying. You’ll cry. And then you’ll want to watch it again.

The Ds9 fandom on Tumblr is basically a support group already. Welcome, join us. 

❤️️Things to do instead of binge❤️

1. Call a friend.
2. Go for a walk
3. Drink a cup of tea/coffee
4. Listen to music
5. Paint your nails/toes — can’t binge with wet nails
6. Walk your dog or pet your cat
7. Watch a movie
8. Take a shower/bubble bath/hot oil treatment/shave your legs/tweeze your eyebrows — self-care time!
9. Organize your closet, your life!
10. Draw, paint, or color
11. Knit or crochet
12. Clean your house/apartment
13. Go window shopping
14. Read a good book
15. Put on music & dance it out
16. Go out dancing
17. Call your friends and have a dance party
18. Go to the gym
19. Stretch/do yoga
20. Scream into a pillow
21. Pray (if you believe in God)
22. Meditate
23. Join an online support group
24. Read a (non triggering) magazine
25. Go on tumblr and look at thinspo
26. Go on Twitter (if you have one)
27. Sing!
28. Get your hair done or do your own hair
29. Make thank you cards for people
30. Go out and take photos
31. Make a “to do” list and do those things — be productive!
32. Play video/phone games
33. Play scrabble/solitaire online
34. Chat with friends on Facebook or update your Facebook profile (if you have one)
35. Write a journal entry
36. Download new music
37. Give yourself a foot massage
38. Smell lavender
39. Pick flowers
40. Garden
41. Create a collage
42. Go bowling/miniature golfing
43. Scrapbook
44. Write an angry letter to somebody you are angry at — you don’t have to send it, just let it out

Feel free to add anymore that you can think of☺️

girlsarejustasstrong  asked:

Can I just say something? Monsta X's new music video killed me

Of course you can! Feel free to join our support group. I will bring cookies and wine. Apparently the video killed YouTube too because my boys had half a million views after 3 hrs then the views were frozen for like 9 hrs and now I see they’ve only gone up by like 2 thousand and I got news for ya YT that’s horse shit on a stick 😤

anonymous asked:



Ahhh. The sweet life of a One Direction fan.

good things have been happening this past week

went for a hike with doc in the snow that’s still hanging around WA

was accepted to be part of an art summit on gender expression

i’ve had all the time i could ever want to give vincent cuddles and attention and love

i even joined a transgender support group and met cool, safe, educated ppl

working on surrounding myself with the things that serve me

working on feeling ok

in other news: i am doing significantly better right now. im joining an online support group, i have a job, im making art, eating again, loving myself in a healthy way, reconnecting with people i miss and removing people i don’t need. following my horoscope is the closest thing to religion that i have right now and it’s helping me out so much. i feel like i can do what i need to do to get to a better place

Can True Love Be Estranged? Part 6

Author: And24Trina

Pairing: Calliope Torres/ Arizona Robbins

Rating: T

Summary: Callie and Arizona shared the love that most believe you can only experience once in a lifetime, stomped on too many times by life. Now they’re divorced and living on opposite ends of the country. Can true love really be estranged, or are the two women destined to find their way back to each other?

Chapter: 6/10

Disclaimer: Shonda created them blah, blah, blah… So, this one will be shorter but I’m hoping just as good as The Ride… Really hope you like it.

Thank you for all of the support for my story, and my mother. I swear, I can recall every second of my mother telling me that she had cancer… Gotta say, I don’t wish that moment on anyone, ever.


“I’m not alone.” Arizona didn’t bother turning to face the woman sat beside her. “I have my parents… and I joined a support group. Callie, I’m fine.” She could hear the brunette wanting to continue on, so she continued to cut her off. “After Christmas I need you to leave. Go back to New York, and I’ll bring Sofia back as planned. I didn’t tell you because I want you to be here.” She finally looked over. “In case I don’t get through this… I just… I thought you should know.”

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”


“You called me Cal… you’ve been listening to me ramble for almost an hour. I’m sure my kid winning the spelling bee isn’t the riveting conversation you called for.”

A soft, barely there smile etched itself in olive features. Even through the iPad screen it was clear to see that the smile didn’t reach expressive eyes. “I- -what? Of course I love hearing about Henry.’’

“Oh, come on Cal. You haven’t heard a thing I’ve said in the last ten minutes.”

“Henry won the spelling bee. Spelled a really big word.”

“Okay, so you were listening. How about we talk about why you’re in a hotel?” The read head pulled the glasses from her face, placing a tip in her mouth she questioned her long time friend. The brunette’s head jumped up, looking around at her surroundings with her bottom lip pulled between perfect teeth. “I thought you got into the Strathmore?”

“I did…” The ortho surgeon contemplated for a moment, until the penetrating gaze of green eyes and raised brows from her friend made her give in. “I just- -I just need some space right now.” She hoped Addison was satisfied, and would just leave things be. She didn’t phone her friend to talk about what was going on with herself, she just needed something to distract her from well… herself.

Green eyes squinted in thought, not able to hold in her thoughts. “From your girlfriend that you followed across the country to be with?” The brunette’s response only extended as far as a bashful look. “Okay… well where’s my niece?”

“In Boston with Arizona.”

“How is that all going?” Doe eyes held a curiousness, urging for further defining of the question. “The whole parenting from two different states?” Addison was starting to sense there was something to the dumbfoundedness of her friend.

“Arizona’s been great.” The red head surgeon was a little surprised by the positive praise falling from the brunette. “Sofia’s staying with her for a few more day’s and Arizona will bring her back for school. I actually spent Christmas with them in Boston.” Over the past few months if they ever touched the topic of the blonde, Callie was always a little miffed at the ‘invisible woman’ persona she was living. Callie had talked to her friend about the way her ex wife would swoop in and out of town without a sighting. How their communication had fizzled out to texts with single word responses if the conversation was to stray outside of very defined lines concerning the welfare of their child.    

But all of a sudden Callie was spending Christmas in Boston with her ex’s family, and was staying in a hotel because she ‘just need’s some space right now.’ Now the fetal surgeon was sure there was something going on. “Talk to me Torres. Be honest with me, what’s going on with you two?”

With the shake of her head the brunette tried to will away the sting of tears. Running a frustrated hand through dark locks there was an evident burden weighing on the woman. Opting to give the brunette a moment to gather her thoughts, Addison waited patiently. “She’s sick Ads…”

“Well you moved the kid to the other side of the country Cal… East coast winters are awful. What is it, the flu?” Addison shuffled through a few papers on her desk as she continued to speak. “Arizona’s a peds surgeon Callie, I’m sure she can manage.”

“Not Sof…” Defeat laced the brunette’s tone. “Arizona. She uh, she has cancer.”

A pale hand covered her forehead, fingers spread wiping at the sudden appearance of stress lines. “Oh no…” Green eyes closed for a second as she took in the words before returning to the screen. With one look at the computer she wished she could climb through the screen. Settled on the plush loveseat on the opposite end of the country, long legs were pulled up into her chest, arms wrapped securely around herself. “Cal, I’m sorry.” And she really was. The way her friend was curled into herself, Addison wished somehow she would’ve been able to console the brunette.

Closing her own eyes, raven locks swayed with the shake of her head. Callie tried to will away the vibrating pain in her chest. Resting her head on her knees, she turned her face to look out the window. The brunette couldn’t bare the sympathy being offered. It wasn’t her sympathy to receive. It wasn’t her body that was revolting against itself. She wasn’t the one that had to sit down and really be faced with her own mortality.

No, she was the one that separated mother from daughter. There was no worry over her health. She had everything… well more than she thought she’d ever have again. She lived in an upscale apartment in New York City… the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, very cliché, the lyrics remained at the ready every since the brunette had crossed the state line… Crossed the state line with her daughter, to join her girlfriend that had won the Preminger grant. Colleagues at her new hospital hung on her every move; she was the hottest thing since sliced bread.

But one visit to her ex wife and everything that was supposed to be in the plus column suddenly became insignificant. Instead of the happy that was offered through the medium of plane tickets there was an emptiness spanning uncharted depths. Arizona had been battling cancer. CANCER. And had only told her because she showed up unannounced after not being able to bare Christmas without their little girl.

What would’ve happened if she didn’t just show up on the Robbins’ doorstep? Would Arizona have even told her? They were exes, so really the blonde had no obligation to offer her personal life to the brunette. It was Callie that had sentenced their marriage to death after all. There they were in their therapist office; Arizona had poured out her heart. Offering realizations of a revived love. She’d reached a clarity… a knowing. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with the brunette. She would spend the rest of her life with her wife.

But out of nowhere that had all been shattered. Visions of future celebrations of wedding anniversaries dissolved. Plans to wake up early just to wake up her wife with morning sex became dreams that were completed by tears and disappointment when cold sheets were the only bedmate to be found. Callie ended their marriage and moved on.

Arizona didn’t owe Callie anything. Except they had a daughter together. Arizona should’ve told Callie sooner because they share a daughter. Fury built in the brunette with that thought. Callie had a right to know what was going on in the blonde’s personal life. She shouldn’t have to keep tabs via published medical journals. Not that she was keeping tabs… no, Callie just happened to stumble upon all of the journals that offered an article written by the double-board certified surgeon. Callie absolutely wasn’t keeping tabs. She shouldn’t have to anyways… because… because they… because they shared a daughter.

Deep down, Callie knew that was a weak argument. But she didn’t much care at the moment. Maybe unrightfully so, Callie was upset. She deserved to know. She deserved the chance to be there with the blonde while chemo coursed through her veins. Callie deserved… nothing. She didn’t deserve a damn thing. Arizona didn’t owe her anything, but had given her… what she thought was everything.

“What do you need?” Addison had sat patiently watching her friend battle through all the fog. Finally speaking up she pulled the brunette back into the present.

“What if…” crimson trails blazed through dark orbs, tears threatening to make a run for the border. Words failed. Full lips bobbed… voice unwilling to participate, refusing to offer the words. “What if…” The words wouldn’t come. “Addison.” The tears won, they broke the barrier.

“Oh sweetie.”

Sobs tormented the brunette. “Every one I love either leaves, or dies… I can’t do this without her Addison.” Expressive brown’s pierced the screen. “She has to be okay, she has to.” The words painfully climbed out barely puncturing the atmosphere.

“Have you talked to Pen-”

Hands wiped furiously at the tears, leaving blotches to testify for them. “She wouldn’t understand. She has her grant to focus on.” Callie cut in.


“She’s good Addison… she’s so good. We’ve been so happy.” Trying to offer more strength in her voice than was really there, Callie felt the need to explain. “This grant means so much… it’s so important to her.”

“What do you need?”

“I need her to live.”


“I can take her… It’s a quick train ride there and back. I won’t even be gone a day.” Arizona argued back.

“You have treatment in the morning Ari.” The man hoped that was explanation enough. His daughter was an adult… and adult with a child of her own. She didn’t need him bossing her around. But she did need him to still parent her. “I can take her. I’ve been around, ya know. Besides Sofia can show her old grand pop around her new school.”

“Dad, I can do it. I’m not going to let her down.” The blonde woman pushed away the mug that had been sat in front of her. “I haven’t missed a trip yet… Sofia depends on me to be there.” Both hand wiped at cloudy blue’s. Arizona was becoming frustrated. This disease was taking something else from her. Hadn’t it taken enough?

She was scheduled to take her daughter back home; school was set to resume on that Wednesday. But Arizona had her scheduled chemo session the day before. This appointment had been set before she knew Callie was going to give her the extra days with their daughter. Back when she determined that she would fight this, Arizona and Swender made a treatment schedule. Every three weeks the blonde was entered into treatment. The only stipulation was that her treatment had to be in the beginning of the week. She wouldn’t sacrifice spending the little bit of time with her daughter that she had. She just wouldn’t.

But Callie gave her a few more days. She didn’t know that Arizona was sick. Callie thought she was forwarding her ex wife a kindness. The blonde had set her free to go live her ‘happy’ and Callie felt indebted. But the gift was also a little too good. Arizona had always been the one to pick up and return her daughter home. They had a little see ya later routine, because it wasn’t ‘goodbye’ it was never goodbye. Goodbye was permanent, and Arizona wanted Sofia to know that she would always be there.

“Come on Bug, it’s just this one time.” Daniel pulled his chair closer to his daughter, a supportive hand found her shoulder. “Sofia knows you’ll always be there for her.”

“But I don’t know that!” Arizona couldn’t get her head to lift, the stream of tears weighing her down at the whispered words. “What if I’m not always there? What if I don’t come out of this?”



So? What did you think? I hope you liked it… let me know?? 


((My Sword Coast Legends girl Zarafay. Totally not a Drizzt clone because she uses a bow (that she got from a spider’s den because that’s hilariously appropriate for a drow) and her Ranger Companion is a summoned wolf c’mon. And her name totally isn’t the feminine version of Zaknefein because I was stumped. Um. Is there an anonymous support group I can join?

I’m just surprised that no one in-game has yet blurted out “drow!”. I blame the expansion pack not integrating well with the main game.))