when barry’s freaking out and pulls bruce aside and is like “um,, I’ve never done battle” and bruce says “save one person” and I just?? his FATHERLY INSTINCTS taking over!! I can’t believe bruce wayne adopted barry allen in justice league (2017)

Batdad Dadcanons

The first time Dick called Bruce Dad, Bruce practically melted, and enveloped his son in the largest hug he could.

The first time Jason called him Dad, it was after a fight, and they were already hugging. Bruce just smiled and wiped his nose.

The first time Tim called him Dad, Bruce cried, because this war of theirs had already cost Tim his real father and Bruce didn’t feel like an adequate replacement.

The first time Stephanie called him Dad, he got very confused. What do you mean, Stephanie, you have a father, he’s still around, but she just hugged him tight and said, no, he’s not my dad anymore. You are.

The first time Cassandra called him Dad, it was quiet, and subtle. The only acknowledgment was a nod of recognition on both sides.

The first time Damian called him Dad instead of Father, Bruce nearly had a heart attack. And immediately ran to grab a thermometer to make sure his son wasn’t sick.

The first time Duke called him Dad, it was a little hesitant. Bruce took him aside and explained to him, gently, that it was okay if he didn’t feel like a part of the family yet, he didn’t have to call Bruce Dad if he didn’t want to, but Bruce would always consider him his son. The second time Duke called him Dad came shortly after that, and Bruce cried.

The first time Terry called him Dad, Bruce asked him not to, because Warren McGinnis was the boy’s father for every purpose except genetically and Bruce didn’t want to take that away from him. Terry was secretly glad when Bruce explained this.

The first time Hal Jordan called him Dad, it was by accident in the middle of a firefight. Both of them stared at each other, and immediately agreed to never speak of it again.

Reasons to be happy today:

  • As we know, Bruce takes the “be prepared” thing super seriously, and it did come in handy back when the Justice League was first starting out, because he had plans for situations the rest of them assumed were outlandish… until all of them happened. 
  • “How do we fight sentient machines??” “I have a file” “The military is building a death ray???” “I’ll send you the file” “How would I know how to communicate with an alternate universe?” “Well if you read the file–” After a few years, “Bruce has a file for that” became a JLA joke, generally used to tell someone they’re being ridiculous.
  • “Okay let me get this straight… you think they were gathering information through spyware concealed in the shells of the garden snails outside the kitchen window” “Hey, Bruce has a file for that” [Bruce grumbling in the background]
  • To answer the obvious question, yes, it caught on around Wayne Manor too. His kids use it all the time, though admittedly with a little more wariness, because they’re all intimately familiar with just how extensive Bruce’s files can get.
  • “For a second I thought this was some kind of Freaky Friday situation” “Yeah Bruce has a file for that” “Really?” “No. Probably. Who knows at this point?” Variant editions such as “Dick has a file for that” and “Tim has a file for that” have also entered the community vocabulary.
  • Bruce does occasionally have a file for that. It’s hilarious. Further variations include personal burns like “She says the kid is his” “Okay I know for a fact Bruce has a file for that one” and “I just want to encourage communication, you know?” “Bruce definitely does NOT have a file for that one, can I get an amen???” Bruce doesn’t think it’s nearly as funny as everybody else does. 
  • *the Justice League is over at Wayne Manor having a meeting for some reason*
  • *loud explosion happens upstairs*
  • *lots of screaming*
  • *Tim can be seen running across frantically on fire*
  • Bruce: What is happening up there?!
  • Dick: We're okay! Don't come up!
  • *cue gun shots*
  • Jason: Put the fucking fire out!
  • *the sound of fireworks can be heard*
  • Damian: Why do you have fireworks in your room?!
  • *glass shatters*
  • Dick: Why did you push him out of the window?!
  • *more screaming*
  • Superman: Shouldn't we go help?
  • Bruce: Know which battles you should run from, Clark. They'll be fine. Let's continue.
Diana Prince is a Goddamn Dork™ headcanons

1. When she’s going from the top of a building to the ground floor, she never takes the stairs, or the elevator. No, she jumps, and lands with a MASSIVE smile on her face.

2. Will occasionally use her lasso to swing from things and pretend to be Batman.

3. Switches languages mid-sentence whenever she’s talking to Billy, just to see if he can keep up. He always can.

4. Whenever a group of children starts playing near her, she automatically and without fail joins the game. Parents have stories of the time they met Wonder Woman patiently listening to their children explain the rules of freeze tag.

5. Is well aware that she is the only woman that Hal Jordan finds too intimidating to flirt with, so she aggressively flirts with him instead just to watch him get flustered.

6. Worst puns in the Justice League. In 600 languages.

7. Makes frequent “when I was your age” jokes that refer to ancient historical events that she could not possibly have been there for.

8. Curates multiple fandom blogs on subjects as diverse as Greek tragedy, Star Wars, anime, and board games. Spends her monitor duty updating those blogs instead of working because “Athena will tell me if anything happens.”

9. Anytime a mythological figure is mentioned, no matter from what mythology or whether they’re real or not, responds, “oh yeah, they owe me money.”

10. Keeps stealing Bruce’s planes, because they all have cloaking technology that renders them near-invisible and she claims she “couldn’t tell the difference.”

I’m going to be collaborating with @chromapulse on some of these from now on, so if you’re enjoying this you should watch their blog too.