JESUS-GOD-WHY

At 2P! Italy's funeral
  • <p> <b>2P! Germany:</b> Jesus, God in heaven, why didcha kill such a hot snatch? Hey, it's a joke, man. Jeez, people are so serious. Hail Mary, who aren't in heaven, bless sinners - so we don't get caught. Another joke, man.<p/><b>2P! Japan:</b> I prayed for the death of Luciano Vargas many times, and I felt bad every time I did it, but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah.<p/><b>2P! America:</b> Hi, I'm sorry. Not really. Technically, I did not kill Luciano, but hey, who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my high school to be a nice place. Amen. Did that sound bitchy?<p/></p>

anonymous asked:

Grimmons with "Look at me - just breathe, okay?" If you're up to it?? I love you're writing btw <3

If anyone asked Dexter Grif if he would ever sacrifice himself for anyone else in this stupid war he would’ve said “pfft, no.” 

Grif hadn’t volunteered to be here for the guts and glory or the shitty pay. Grif had pissed off God or the asshole running the local UNSC recruitment office and got himself drafted.  

No one would ever tell him he was noble and he wasn’t an idiot. His death would make no difference to anyone. They were so fucking disorganized they might not even notify Kai when someone inevitably killed him. 

Grif wasn’t like some morons who were here thinking they had a career. Some idiot who would let a madman carve up his body and make him a fucking cyborg so a teammate he didn’t even think liked him would live. Grif wasn’t that grade of stupid. 

So it was hard to tell who was more surprised, Grif or Simmons, when Grif leapt in front of him and took the bullet.  

Keep reading

Lukewarm is when you’re trying to balance or manage loving the world and the things in it and loving God by serving Him.

Serving God looks like humbling yourself to the point of washing your brothers and sisters feet, more realistically forgiving them when they have no idea why you would love them.

None of Jesus’ disciples knew why God loved them. They were all blind; all they knew was that they wanted to be with Him wherever He went because they didn’t have anywhere else to go, and of course your motive for wanting to be with Jesus must be greater than that.

The why behind your life determines the outcome of things. What you believe about yourself is how you’ll be. So if God can change your view of you through Jesus, your whole life is changed.

“Woah, woah, woah, that’s it?!”

“What are you on about, Michael?”

“Well I mean, what, we’re just gonna drop all these punks just like that?”

“As opposed to… doing something about of all of them?”

“Jesus Christ, Ryan, no- god, why do you always have to be so creepy. No, I mean, any one of them could have ratted us out to the feds that entire year, and none of them did. That’s gotta count for something.”

“So instead your suggestion would be we, what, take a walk down memory lane with them?”

“I mean he does have a bit of a point, Ry. They were with us through a lot.”

“Like?”

“Like the time those Fakehaus fucks hacked our blog

“Or the time you had a sleepover with the rest of the gents

“…it was not a sleepover”

“Yeah it was, dude.”

“Or all those times Kerry got mugged”

“Or all the dumb shit we said in the group chat

“Alright, alright, I get it. Well why don’t you just give them that page Kdin worked so hard setting up? It’s got everything all organized.”

“Aww but Ry that’s just not the same. I mean, these people were so cool! Some of them even made art of us!

“They made.. art?! These people should have been terrified of us!”

“I mean, speak for yourself Ryan, I wasn’t the one constantly doing creepy shit.”

“I do not do creepy shit

“…sure.”

“Well the people here didn’t seem to bloody care. Did you see how much fan mail Ryan got?? You’d think he was a model or something..”

“Okay that’s it I’m shutting whatever this is down.”

“Wha- Ryan! We’re in the middle of a-”

“SHUTTING IT DOWN.”

FROM ALL OF US AT THE FAKE FAKE AH CREW, WE WANT TO THANK YOU FOR COMING ALONG WITH US, AND TO SAY GOODBYE, AND GOOD LUCK.
THANK YOU FOR ROLLING WITH THE CREW. <3

fuckable

OVERVIEW

“I-I’m a virgin.”

Harry took that as a blow to the dignity of all males, his eyes going wide in pure shock. Sure, he knew she wasn’t the type for one night stands but he definitely didn’t think she had never done it with anyone.And for some reason, he felt like making up for it. He must be crazy.

or

harry thinks his best friend is way too fuckable to still be a virgin.

[alternate universe]

————————–

The relationship between Harry and Y/N was always one to question. They had been best friends since 9th grade, when Harry moved to America. Long story short, everyone picked on the dorky British kid while Y/N was the only defier. She admired his accent, thought it was cute even. 

And so of course, as you can image, Y/N didn’t have too many friends either. She was mostly a pretty shy girl, only letting her true hilarious self through with people she felt absolutely comfortable with. 

Harry was that person. 

“Styles, you better not have eaten all my fucking chocolates!” Y/N shouts into her apartment, remembering Harry sending her text during Economics that said something along the lines of ‘coming over. you have food and i don’t.’ 

He emerges out of her small kitchen - barely considered a kitchen to Y/N’s mother - with, sure enough, the box of chocolates in hand. He’s been caught red handed, giving a goofy smile as the shrugs his shoulders, “They weren’t that good anyway,” Harry reassures, remembering these particular candies were bought for her by a fuckboy whose only intention was getting in her pants. 

“You little bitch, I was going to eat those!” she groans, even though she knows they couldn’t have been that good to begin with. 

Harry thinks this is sorta kinda cute, seeing her get all flustered over practically nothing. “So, what was the assholes name again?” he makes his way over to her, pulling her down to sit on the small white sofa. 

“Jeremy Collins. Ugh, he was so dreamy and then he talked and all I wanted to do was cover his words and never have to hear his voice.” 

He laughed, never understanding her search for “the perfect boy”, “That bad? Damn, maybe you’ve gotten too accustomed to my voice.” 

She rolled her eyes, swatting his arm, “No dumbass, his voice was fine. What he said was beyond stupid though,” She laughed, resting her head on Harry’s shoulder, “I said: Not everything is about sex, I actually have a personality - and so he interrupted and said: Can your personality sit on my dick?” 

Harry quite literally fell back in laughter, snorting a few times as he clutched his stomach, “He actually fucking said that?” 

She laughed, knowing he never meant to hurt her feelings, just maybe her search for love. 

She stood up, mumbling about having to change out of the way too tight jeans as Harry simply nodded, scrolling through his phone while she was absent. 

When she came back, Harry noticed the outfit she chose to bless his eyes with. A tshirt that used to be his, barely-considered shorts, and some fuzzy socks with her hair thrown up into a top knot. Not that he had those types of feelings for her, but damn, did Y/N have perfectly long legs. Plus, her ass was hanging out of those “shorts” but who was he to complain? 

“What do you want to do?” she asked, looking up into his eyes. 

“Movie?” 

She nodded, turning Netflix onto her television while grabbing a blanket for the two of them. “What movie-” “The breakfast club.” Harry answered for her, smirking as she smiled at his remembrance of her all time favorite movie. 

Now, at this point, Y/N was snuggled up with her best friend, the movie about halfway through. Only, she was distracted by fuckboy #16 Jeremy as he kept flooding her imessage with ‘take me back’ texts. Harry noticed, but kept quiet knowing she would get agitated. 

“Ugh, what is this boy’s problem?!” She sat up, Harry following suit, “Now he’s saying I’m too innocent, not experienced enough? That’s such bullshit! I do things, like - like…” 

Harry tried rubbing her back, trying to get her to chill out a little and not worry about an irrelevant person. 

“How much have you done?” He genuinely wondered, thinking about it. 

She rolled her eyes and barely acknowledged the question, mumbling “Plenty of things.” 

He looked into her eyes now, the intimidation she never noticed before becoming evident as his green eyes stared back at her with insane wonder, “Like what?” 

She gulped, wanting to know why in the hell her skin was heating up, “Uhm, well - like…” 

He smirked, a whole new possibility flickering through his rotten mind, “Go on?” 

“Okay! God, Jesus Christ, Harry. Why the fuck do you want to know so bad all the sudden?” 

“You’re avoiding the question, babe.” 

She froze in place as she swore on her life he moved closer to her, the crush she developed sophomore year of high school flashing through her mind for a spilt second. “I-I’m a virgin.” 

Harry took that as a blow to the dignity of all males, his eyes going wide in pure shock. Sure, he knew she wasn’t the type for one night stands but he definitely didn’t think she had never done it with anyone. 

And for some reason, he felt like making up for it. He must be crazy. 

“Virgin? How the fuck…” He muttered, sincerely trying to figure out how that was even possible. Fuck, just look at her. She’s very fuckable. More than that, girlfriend material, the kind of girl armies should be fighting for in the thousands. 

“No one has ever felt like the one. They’re all assholes so-” 

The next thing Harry says surprises both of them, all the chemistry they always shared finally making sense, “Am I an asshole?” 

Of course, the true meaning behind this was, “I wasn’t fuckable enough?” 

Which, naturally makes her eyes widen as he seriously debates on whether or not she’s ever experienced any sexual pleasing, feeling like it’s his responsibly. 

Yep, he’s definitely going crazy. 

“So you’ve never even had an orgasm before?” He thinks aloud, throwing all his control into the trash. 

She rolls her eyes, standing up now and heading to the kitchen to get away from his never ending game of 21 questions, and maybe trying to get away from the urge to kiss him and let him be that one. 

“Still have fingers, Harry.” She calls from the kitchen, and fuck, he’s thinking all the things that shouldn’t be said in Church while those four words go straight to his dick. 

He stands up, debating his intentions as he finds her grabbing a can of soda out of the fridge, her ass on full display. 

And so with a final, fuck it, he meets her as he stands tall, still towering over her as her back is to him. 

He moves a strand of her hair and brings his lips to her ear, whispering the four words that have such a new meaning now. 

“You trust me, right?” 

And with that, she flips around and brings him down to meet their lips together in a forceful lust, surprising Harry at first, quickly responding as his hands find their way to her hips. 

Harry is thinking how in the hell has he never kissed her sugar sweet lips before and Y/N is thinking why she looked for so long when the perfect thing was right in front of her. Both of them thought the other was very fuckable. 

-

i’ll be creating a master list once i get a good amount of imagines completed but for now, you can search my tag #babymyharry and all my imagines will appear :)) it’s magic !!

edit: here is my masterlist 

yooo i might make a part 2 to this?? idkkk what to even call this bc likeee smut didn’t actually happen but?? if i made a part 2 there would fs be smut whohoo

KINDA LIKE THIS KINDA DONT 

- amanda;))

slick-churro  asked:

How would the boys react to someone handing them a bible and saying "you need jesus"

Mun m; I am finally getting to this- I’ve finally escape the clenches of Saeran Choi aka Unkown. Until I rewatch More blood I’m gonna put off doing the Mukamis and I need rewatch Diabolik but I can do them but only short.

Shu:
Shu look over at the person who handed him the Bible before he smirk. “What? I don’t believe in such idiotic things.” He said with a lazy tone before falling asleep.

Reiji:
Reiji look at the book before he narrow his eyes at the person and smack them with it. “I don’t believe I give you permission to come near me, I don’t believe in Jesus.” He said and went back to working with his potions.

Kanato:
Kanato look at the book then to teddy, he narrow his eyes. “I will murder you and shove my foot up your ass.” He said and threw it at their head, then laughs insanely.

Ayato:
Ayato laughs as he pull the person to him, dropping the book down on the floor; he digs his fangs into their neck roughly after a while he whisper in their ear. “I don’t need Jesus I just need your entire being.”

Laito:
Laito laughs as he heard their remake he brings them closer to him and grips their hip roughly. “But if there is just a thing as Jesus and a god, why isn’t he here to save you?”

Subaru:
He’ll blush and grabs the book snapping it in half. He would also push them away from him as he made a click with his tongue. “Who the hell are you talking about?!”

While the entire Bible is inspired by God (2 Timothy 3:16), He used human authors with different backgrounds and personalities to accomplish His purposes through their writing. Each of the gospel authors had a distinct purpose behind his gospel and in carrying out those purposes, each emphasized different aspects of the person and ministry of Jesus Christ.
—  “Why did God give us four Gospels?”, found on gotquestions.org
youtube

And Alexander wept, for there were no more worlds left to conquer…

Why does the writer encourage us to hold fast to our hope(verse 18)? If our holding fast was obtained and irrevocably secured by the blood of Jesus, then why does God tell us to hold fast? The answer is this:

1.What Christ bought for us when he died was not the freedom from having to hold fast, but the enabling power to hold fast.

2.What he bought was not the nullification of our wills as though we didn’t have to hold fast, but the empowering of our wills because we want to hold fast.

3.What he bought was not the canceling of the commandment to hold fast, but the fulfillment of the commandment to hold fast.

4.What he bought was not the end of exhortation, but the triumph of exhortation.

He died so that you would do exactly what Paul did in Philippians 3:12: “I press on in order that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.” It is not foolishness, it is the gospel, to tell a sinner to do what Christ alone can enable him to do; namely, hope in God.

-https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/hope-anchored-in-heaven

elphaba-masala  asked:

what do you think of the world cup draw? thoughts on the groups?

god i’m so unprepared for this summer

group A: I can’t wait for Mo Salah to rip suarat’s wig off infront of everyone

group B: WWE: spain vs portugal, the battle of the red cards (sksks i can’t wait)

group C: I think, probably the easiest group? but again that’s just my humble opinion, praying for Peru to snatch Griezmann’s wig

group D: group of death, iceland vs argentina or croatia will be lit

group E: either brazil win everything or brazil crumble 

group F: dear jesus god kill me why are germany in the group with mexico and sweden i’m going to be having italy nt war flashbacks while mats and oswaldo switch places halfway through

group G: READY TO SEE ENGLAND FALL NO OFFENSE ENGLAND NT MUTUALS

group H: Lewy is going to make James cry or vice versa and i’m not prepared to see that i love both of them

anonymous asked:

Ringo, I think you'll gonna die next year... I don't know why....

Thanks for the ask, or rather the premonition anon. I, the actual realio dealio here he is for realio Ringo Starr, may very well next year. I, cool Ringo, may die tomorrow. Ringo here doesn’t know when or how but if it comes so be it. My memory will live with my good music and amazing fan art. Peace and love and oh god I’m gonna die aren’t I have I done enough has everything I done been good oh jesus oh god why do I feel this way why is there this regret