It's a wonderful but scary feeling

so wow!! i’ve had this blog for … just shy of three months and i’m already passed 600 followers – – that’s absolutely insane!! coming into this fandom tbh i thought it’d be really scary bc the show was so wonderful so i figured the fandom’s indie rp-ers would be filled with wonderful blogs && people ( i was right ) and i’m just trash but you guys all welcomed me in with open arms && made me feel so at home here!! && i’m just here to thank you all so much for giving me a wonderful three months here and hope that we can have more fun times together in the future!!!

MY CINNAMON ROLLS ( special mentions )

arcanumrosa – – megan i was so tempted to put you after somebody else just to spite you. but yeah i know we don’t rp much anymore because of the severe change in fandoms but you’re probably the closest friend ( and longest one tbh ) and i will always love you v much ok bye

beyondreflection – – also so i know you and i don’t rp that much anymore bc of fandoms again but phob you’re great okay one of my best friends ever and tbh we had some hella good times roleplaying in the ff fandom and aioshfds you’re a great friend

skailegend – – oh god paige you’re perfect ok. your clarke is amazing and i love when we talk on skype, it always leaves a huge smile on my face. we’ve been talking for quite a while and you’re definitely one of the people i feel closest to in this fandom and ahhh you’re just amazing.

fraternus – – ok nikki though. god she’s amazing; a really great friend of mine even if we haven’t been talking that long. we do talk like everyday and it’s jsut so wonderful because we always have something to talk about and we kind of connect on some topics rellamy and god she’s a wonderful bellamy screams i’m so happy i get the chance to talk to you and roleplay with you

MY FAMILY ( close friends )

♕ ; outsiidxr ; valianthuntress ; hxdaleksa ; nothinglikeyxu ; thelxstsavior ; chancellorisms ; guardiisms ; takemybxdy ; spacewalkiing ; rdxwson ; sylvane ; lamourhaine ; enduringfirst.

MY ALLIES ( blogs i admire && want to do hella stuff with )

♕ ; deadaregone ; unluckythen ; spacestoner ; guardianiism ; ofabnegation ; ofwxrriorblood ; undevelopedisms ; ncncriminal ; fallenpeacemaker ; raisedbetter ; ofpenderghast ; lunarpelted ; flooredunder ; reclaimingsecond ; bxsicphysics ; earthmedic ; earthsfirst ; commanderiiisms ; thxmatriarch ; startswithfire.

anonymous asked:

Pumpkin I'm graduating high school in FOUR DAYS and I can't handle this :'(

Sorry for my delayed response to this, anony. I hope my answer is of some help and still relevant to you.

Around 3 weeks ago, I graduated from University. I was really excited and relieved and happy. But I was also terrified.

Because school is all I’ve ever known. Like ALL I’ve ever known. And now somehow I’m supposed to let go of that existence and have a new one. 

I’m guessing that’s probably how you feel. High School has been your existence for most likely the last 4 years. You had friends that stood with you and were always there. You had teachers you’d grown and learned from. You had familiar buildings and schedules.

And now all that’s gone. 

That is scary.

But there’s also something amazingly wonderful about moving on from this old existence and going towards a new one. 

Its not like starting life anew. More like just getting another adventure in life.

You’re going to meet new people and learn from new instructors and familiarize yourself with new settings. You have a chance to change things that weren’t so cool about high school but repeat things that were.

And I think what’s pretty awesome about new adventures is that they don’t have to be completely cut off from the old ones. Take old friends on this new journey and revisit old places. Continue to gain knowledge from past experiences. You don’t have to forget the old. Make it apart of the new.

I know it’s daunting. And it’s okay to be scared. I think all adventures should be a little frightening. Because when they are, you know you’re putting yourself out there. You know you’re going outside your comfort zone. You know you’re throwing yourself into the “new”. 

You can do this, love. I know it.

“Adventure is out there!”

anonymous asked:

ur tags on the no volume control post made me so happy, cos i get so much shit for my lack of volume control and u made me feel like its okay thank you

B do not be ashamed of it you are wonderful and the lack of volume control trait is endearing and not something for you to ~~~change ok it’s definitely okay. i’ll fight anyone who tells u different. 

Love is powerful but so are other feelings and they change people…and that’s scary. I wonder how my parents were like before me…before each other…before they fell in love. How were they like? What were their interests? Who were their friends? What were their dreams, their hopes for life? Their favorite color? Simple questions I find myself unable to answer about the people I love the most…people who love me the most. Then I realize that what I felt was an obligatory love, its real, yes, but…different. Its a different kind of love you’d feel for a lover or a friend, it’s inbred…like you were programmed or made to love these people. The love you have for a lover or a friend is just as real but…not the same. Friends are people you chose to love. How does that work? Amongst all the other human beings and your mind just goes “Hey, this one’s pretty cool” and your heart’s just like “yea, I’m gonna love this person”. That is why this love is powerful, because the mind chose and your heart accepted and it resounds throughout your whole being and this special feeling is just materialized from…nothing. Strange isn’t it? This nothing can change your everything. That’s scary…not because you can’t explain it but because you can’t control it. How can you? Control something you can’t explain or even begin to comprehend.
But through God everything can be explained. Then you think about it more and realize underneath all these differences love is…love. So where does this love come from? God. He loved us first and that’s why we can love ourselves and the people around us. Just like how he made us to love our physical family, He also made us to love our spiritual family. Are your friends not your siblings in Christ? Is your significant other not a child of God? So am I wrong to say that you were made to love the people you love right now? You didn’t choose to love your family, but at the same time you did; you chose to love your friends, but at the same time you didn’t. Now, how does that work?

Was asked tonight what my definition of what it means to love was. This is what I wrote.
“Love to me is a blessing but a curse. A blessing because of how much love can impact your life. Of how much happiness it brings to you. The wonderful feeling of it, the feeling of caring for someone so much you would do anything for them and the same goes for who loves you in return. Love can be a "curse” because with love, comes tough times and sometimes not everyone is able to get through those tough times. I’ve seen it. Whether it be in breakups, divorce, suicide and even more. Love is a powerful thing and its scary, but if you can get through those tough times, its so worth it. Yes, I love my family and all my friends, but at this stage in my life I’m still learning what it’s like to actually fall in love with someone. Maybe this isn’t my defenition on what it means to love, but this is my defenition of what love is to me. I’m still young, and I have many years a head of me and maybe along the way I’ll truly find out what it means to really love. “

I love it when she suggests things that implies that she trusts me, that shows that she is really trying. Her trying to open up and trust me is what melts my heart. I know it doesn’t come easy and the idea that she gives it a go makes me feel so happy. Im soo very very proud of her for giving it a go. So proud of her for allowing herself to be so happy because she deserves that. Im just so proud of her for getting out of bed and fighting everyday so successfully. Its selfish of me but I like knowing because being in the dark is scary as hell. No matter what tomorrow holds; she will be apart of mine. She is incredible and everyday I wonder how I got to be so blessed.

Just Would Like To Say.

I really should not say this but.

Please for all you suicidal people, for the love of god please don’t do it or do anything to your beautiful skin. It’s to lovely for scars or anything else to harm it.

I went through it all, I sat there holding sharp objects to my arms and wrists I wanted out so bad, It was not worth it to be honest, the pain was hurting me so bad the words, hate, bullying life was not good then, but I held on for a while.

I actually nearly killed myself one night it’s scary, dark, horrible, and its sad to think all that wonderful life you had being born into the world and dying so young with a full life ahead of you. To do great things.

I cut my kneck It has the smallest scar you can’t see It felt so horrible feeling that blood drip I held my kneck and just sat there crying what the fuck have I done to myself and why did i do this selfish act just to stop hearing the words of haters going in my ears for 7 years.

It was so wrong, please get help, talk to me or talk to someone in the whole fan base we are here, we are here to stay and help you get through this nightmare we will support you all the way. Don’t hide it all away.

Don’t hide the pain any longer than you have too, it will build up and make you do something you will regret for life.




Do you ever wonder how other people see you ? The weird thing is that they wont ever see the real you, just the part that you of you which relates most to them and if they dont find any of this parts, they automatically dont like you or feel nothing towards you. And its kinda scary cause some people decide to show many parts of themselves so many people relate to them and want to be their friend but than there are some people who are scared to show their parts so they end up lonely. But than again, some people like to be with other people who have qualities which they lack so theyre seeking these qualities in these people hoping one day they will get them too. In this end its all in our hands, we can choose what part of ours will be shown to who

anonymous asked:

Okay i know this is really weird and its personal thats why im on anon but ive been getting anon questions from somebody who goes to my school but i have no clue who they are and they're telling me some pretty scary stuff it makes me feel really awkward that i literally hang out with my bf in the library bc of it and i was wondering if you knew how to track them or something so i can block them and at least tell my school counselor this is serious please help!!!!

To be honest anon I don’t know how to make it stop because Tumblrs messaging system kind of sucks but there are people online that could possibly track the anons IP address to help you out but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal but if this anon is scaring you to the point where you’re feeling harassed and scared that’s fucking illegal too soooo yeah and if you find someone who can help keep it on the down low , I’m sorry I’m not much help but I hope you find someone who can help you out because that’s not cool that someone is that much of a douche bag to harass you like that. And of this person is harassing you to the point where they’re sending you death threats that’s EXTREMELY illegal and the person could be arrested but keep me updated anon to make sure you’re ok


Spanked down too many espressos.
Remember scree sliding as a kid, wonder if the gorge is still there?
Fuck it, my boots are already on, it used to be scary jumping off the cliff and feeling everything sliding out underfoot, it felt so high! But i was like 8yrs old… 
How high can it be now im a growd up?
Guess i’ll find out, its only a few miles to walk, i could feasibly walk out on broken stumps that used to be legs :D

The message I will never write

Dear meow, would you mind tagging *the thing I have to describe indirectly, because the name makes me uneasy even on the better of days* because after the place we visited last weekend it gives me more wrongfeelings than usual and even though I haven’t installed anything that allows blacklisting posts, knowing that it is tagged and I could blacklist it if stuff get worse makes me really feel better.

Thanks a ton.

In case you’re wondering if this is about you, nope, it’s not, neither of the people reblogging the scary stuff from time to time follow me.


Yellow for a scary starter  Red for a violent starter (i’ll do in between and yeey chance to touch pre!House of M verse)

Erik knew of the power the synthezoid held in his gem but right now his usual strategic mind was filled with rage and seething anger. He clenched his hand stopping the Vision as he flew towards him forcing him to a half and with a flick of his wrist caused his arms to bent unaturally. “I always wondered if you feelpain” he snarled the vibranium in his body making the synthezoid easy to hold under control from moving, sure he could still use the gem but what did it matter.

“Where were you” he snarled staring into his eyes with only one thought on his mind, to Genosha were Wanda slowly was slipping more and more into her madness. “You claimed to care so why were you not at her side. Looking at her as she lost EVERYTHING . “ His arm came to his sides as he pulled the Synthezoid down to the floor. “They want to kill her. Your team mates. If I have to watch my daughter die, so will you“ he spoke and released the android from his powers.

Answer me!” he yelled at him with all the pent up rage he had seething inside.

A thunderstorm of emotions raged in the android’s chest; the changing of the seasons apparent with each false breath he took. He was smarter than this, too clever to lull himself into the false belief that Wanda could have children without the natural process. He was a robot, he was synthetic, there was no way for him to give her a child and yet he had let the dream wash over him as they raised two beautiful boys. He was happy to believe that perhaps she had gained them by unsavoury means, even if he didn’t truly believe it himself… there was no other explanation though, and he was too content in this domestic bliss to look deeper into it.

They were Wanda’s children though, truly,– and simply his wards as he loved each of them unconditionally—but he was not a mother, and he was not Wanda and there was no way for him to understand how she truly felt. This lose was monumental. 

Vision had expected resistance, he had half expected Quicksilver to meet him half way and attempt to destroy him, but he had not expected Magneto himself to be the gatekeeper to Genosha.
Before the android could even open his mouth to tell the other to move aside his body was contorting unnaturally, the will he had over it gone as his mind was all but left to seek out refuge in the shell that was his body. He was twisted horrible, metal cracking from pressure as he felt the heat of pain touch at the gate of his mind. His expression was unchanged with the torture though; body falling helplessly to the ground as he mustered his strength and all but pull himself through the dirt and the grim past the other.
“Let me pass,” the robot strained his expression hard as he stared at the mutant, limbs crippled in the other’s metallic grasp. He hadn’t the time for this, “where is she? Let me pass.” The android repeated unwisely, his mood swaying nowhere but to Wanda.
He did not care if his body was destroyed, if his mind was ripped apart, as long as he had a fiber of his being left he would strain to get to her.
She needed him not, but with the last of the strength he wanted to help her in the smallest way possible.
“Take me to her,” Vision commanded, his tone breatyh and hard, the words of a man holding back his anger. “I will destroy you if you stand in my way.” He was helpless here, he knew it, but if he was forced to kill the mutant before him—Wanda’s father—then so be it. Nothing was going to stop him from seeing her.

PERSONAL POST im just so happy

so i met a guy about a year and a half ago. up until 6 months ago i was too afraid and nervous to talk to him because i didnt really know him and he didnt talk to me because he is just a generally quiet person unless he knows you. eventually we started talking. then, three-ish months ago things started changing. we clearly both felt things for each other and it was so new to us that we didnt quite know what to do with ourselves. this boy makes me feel things i didnt know existed. i get non-stop butterflies and even looking at pictures of him brings a rush of warmth over me. i feel it in my heart and its so wonderful and scary at the same time. he makes me realize i can be the person i want to be. he makes me happy to be alive and i appreciate things more now. i dont know how it can even be possible to feel this amount of emotion for someone. i look at him and its like seeing the ocean or like cliff diving for the first time. my thoughts are all over the place and i have no words that can explain what i mean. i want to talk about him all day and see his smile and trace the veins in his arms and feel his warm body by mine and just be alive with him. this is all so crazy to say but i need to just say it. i guess i dont even care if this is just an infatuation and i dont care if it will only last a few months or a year or two years. or however long. i would not care if he broke my heart. i know it would hurt like hell but to have had the privilege of this boy being in my life and being mine is enough for me to be happy. i love this i love this i love this i cannot say it enough.

i feel like i’m falling for you, this is a scary feeling. what if i fall to my death? what if i drown? what if you walk away? what if you drop me? but then there’s what if you catch me. i guess a time woll come where i’ll take the leap and see what happens. but until then i’ll keep wondering the what if’s.