It's a wonderful but scary feeling


Jensen about being a bit uncertain about how to play Demon!Dean and how Jared helped him with that. [x]

Love is so scary. I once thought that I couldn’t live without you and now I go days where I don’t even think about you. What a terrifying feeling that something so strong can slowly vanish. I never thought I would be able to hear your name and not get dizzy. I really thought that I would miss you every day for the rest of my life. There was a time when I thought that if it wasn’t you I was meeting at the end of the aisle, the tears on my face wouldn’t be of joy. In a way, I am so thankful that we are as resilient as we are because I don’t think you and I were meant to be, no matter how many birthday, 11:11 and shooting star wishes I wasted on us. In another manner, it really freaks me out. I loved you so so much.. everyone I had contact with knows how much you meant to me. It is so scary that you can just get over someone. I never would have thought it possible but it is.. and in so many ways, it’s wonderful and in some others, it is simply frightening.

If you consider yourself someone else’s friend, don’t let them walk away in a sinking depression

If you’re any familiar with depression, you should be aware of how bad and harmful things can get if deep enough


i also keep teling people “oh i started smoking because it helped with the stress” but honestly, i started smokin because it stopped my mind drifting, it filled in the times when the i would think of something nasty, or depressing, or sad, the times when my stomach would drop, and churn, and all the happiness felt like it was leaking out of my body, it happened especially at night, right before i go to sleep. i got these sudden feelings, thinking of being dead, thinking of feeling absolutely nothing, and at first it scared me because i wondered maybe its not so different, and then i imagined just not even being able to think about it not being that scary, just thinking about blackness, and then id have another of the moments, where my stomach churns. and id have to rush out of bed, and out into the back garden to sit on the end of the decking to calm myself down, to remind myself im still alive for a while, and then when i started smoking, it helped, it meant i could just smoke to take my mind entirely off of it, like a sudden killer, its a horrible alternative, but i was desperate.

anonymous asked:

Hi I'm a F and i was wondering if you could give me advice on how to approach girls and how do I even know if a girl likes me or if shes just being friendly :c i want to be with a girl but im not sure and its scary so i feel like i always want to explore but im terrified so i just end up with guys or alone :/ not that i dont like guys but it would be nice to try being with a girl since i think about it a lot

When you’re queer and a girl it’s hard to flirt and a lot of queer girls are in the same boat as you. Honestly, my best recommendation to you is-if you’re of age- make an OKcupid to find some ladies in your area honestly. That’s where I’ve found the most luck and I remember going on it at first and being like “wow there are more gay girls here than I thought!” I was pleasantly surprised. What I would say though is be clear that you’re experimenting if you are, I know many queer women have felt taken advantage of by being experimented with without them knowing that’s all it was. Just be upfront.
Some irl flirting tips though- be forward, be respectful, try and mention that you’re bi or experimenting, be funny, confident, and act in the way you would want to be flirted with. Give her a good experience even if she ends up not being interested! And don’t get discouraged by rejection, just cause one girl says no doesn’t mean u suck or ur bad at it, but do respect all those who say they aren’t interested. Don’t push it.
I hope this helps!!!

anonymous asked:

Failure; but not in the most conventional way, failure because he has such a weigh in his shoulder, he feels responsible of his people.

Try to guess my character’s fears. 
They’ll have to answer honestly with yes or no
and rate out of 10 how scared of it they are.


                    ”I wonder if it can be considered scary?”

           He queries before falling silent, briefly contemplating over the strangers statement.
            “Though, its is quite… odd having others depend on you and most rely on while you do your best. Its a good feeling, only if by chance it falters as soon you have it all fall apart at the smallest mistake.”

Rating Fear: 10+

i have been trying to figure out why i feel so weird about all the end of glee and the klaine wedding (while i am so happy of course because endgame) and i finally understand and its just that all the actors and actresses and my favorite people for the last SIX YEARS—i wont see them on my tv weekly, like i wont even be able to keep up with them as much because life, and that is scary and it hurts because they were my role models and the people i looked up to

also its absolutely wonderful that klaine is together in the end but that also means we wont see them, like the end is THE END, there will be no more giffing and pictures and anticipation and heartache and excitement

the end is so emotional and i dont even know what to do about it. 

i did not expect this to happen to me

The Scale of the Universe 2

This is a neat tool/website that lets you see many things scaled next to each other. Starting wiht the size of us and the world we know, you can go smaller to the microscopic and atomic levels, and even to the smallest conceivable objects. Then you can go in the other direction and see just how big space is. And it scares me. The universe is just so big. There are absolutely no words to explain it. The music on this site is beautiful and wonderful and it. combined with the realization that we are so insignifigantly small is terrifying. I look at this site from time to time and the feeling i get is indescribable. It makes me want to throw up. It makes me realize how meaningless everything is. Its wonderful and scary. I get all weird and just… I don’t know. Take a look for yourself. I can’t explain how this site makes me feel, its something that needs to be experienced. I need to start coming here more often. I believe it can make me a better person. But damn, it sure is scary…

Nothing But Blue Skies

I am home, a wonderful feeling, despite the many challenges and aches I feel. I love life, with all its messiness and pains.

Serious complications kept me in hospital until I was finally released. Diabetic ketoacidosis is nothing to sneeze at! The hospital took a textbook approach to my carefully managed routine. The results were diabetic readings of 400-500. My normal range is 100 or so. I had a fever, I had spasms. I had a drug addict roommate that was so scary I had to ask to be moved, and will certainly write about! (Never cross a writer!)The hernia surgery was nothing compared to all this. Thank you one and all for your wings, prayers, angels and love.

Most seriously, I had a heart attack two days before I left. I thought my chest was swollen just below my neckline. No one I mentioned this to seemed concerned. I thought I was just being overly sensitive. Later I found that most women play down such things because, “it doesn’t seem like much.” Now I know better. My new cardiologist, Dr. Dahr, gave me a little test with a white board in my room. He stood there in his impeccable suit with a pen and wrote: “You feel these sensations again. What do you do?” When I said, I guessed I would call his office, he thundered, “WRONG! You go to the Emergency Room!” And so it goes. I feel humbled, dull and hard-to-teach. Amazing, since I have always been the quick study, the smart one.

As I was leaving, my surgeon, Dr. Woodbury, visited. He didn’t know I had been kept so long and was amazed to find me there. He’s a funny guy that all the nurses crush on. He checked my incision and said not to come by for an office visit, “In fact, stay away from me he said in a sexy growl. Stay away from guys like me.” My own physician, the magical redhead, Dr. Matalon from Jerusalem,  hugged and kissed me and told me he was proud that I survived.

With sadness, I had to cancel my poetry reading with Traci Gourdine. Lawrence Dinkins graciously stepped in to fill my space. I’m sure it will be wonderful.

Now, I am living in my bathrobe, which isn’t all bad. Quiet and relaxed, I am in the care of my granddaughter, the wonderful Brianna. Tomorrow, it will be Edith, and then Peter will be home for a couple of days. Life is very slow, but beautiful. Outside, the trees seem less stressed since the rains, the mountain seems slippery in its beauty. The blue skies belie winter’s grip, but it is warm enough inside.

I am alive, and that’s all that matters. Isn’t it?

anonymous asked:

Unfortunately, you did not give a clue of what troubles you right now. This is a general advice: stop for a moment and look calmly at the situation. If you really dislike something, take steps, maybe inconvenient ones, to get away from it. You always have a choice, even if it feels like you do not. On another note: I like your post "Animal Keeper"; good spirit.

Hey thankyou. I wonder if you are the same person whos been sending me nice messages. See, ive relapsed into my anxiety disorders and have been suffering from attacks. Havent had this for maybe close to 2 years alr. Thought i had recovered but its back for no reasons and only thing i can do is fighting against it and try whatever to not sink in to depression again but i cant avoid feeling like im back to square one. Its scary.

G. Freeze, you go numb faster.

R.  Men’s Rights Activists. Gosh.

E. No sleeping.

N. idk man they get pretty scary

Y. I think looks can matter in some sense. Now, I wouldn’t dislike someone because they are ugly.

M. Manipulate energy. Feeling bad? Some more energy. Someone annoying you? Electrocution.

O. One year. Its better to know them and get over the loss than never feel satisfied.

S. I would be the only person that can read minds, it would be easier to hide and use to your advantage.

T. Spanish or Russian something, something with simple rules and few exceptions.

D. Probably remain the way I am, and have a sense of curiosity and wonder.

L. The Beatles.

When will I let someone that close to me again that feeling of sharing yourself, indulging yourself into someone’s life, its so precious but so scary, you’re giving parts of yourself away wondering if you can trust you’re whole self with someone else’s whole self.

The Very Last CGS - Feb 19th, 2015 4:01pm

My last CGS was interesting. I don’t think “wonderful” or “horrible” would cut it, so I’m using that.

It’s been four years since I’ve been to the venue and it was refreshing. It didn’t seem as bad as I thought it would be, given its haunted history. I actually didn’t feel any scary vibes, which is a step up for me. The rooms were fine too, and my roombaes were the finest. 

The activities were eye-opening. I actually liked the day full of forums because most of the forums were accurate and just so real. It made me realize how to value life a whole lot more, as cheesy as it sounds, and I hope it made everyone else feel the same way.

I can’t go about talking about this trip without acknowledging the discrimination of our class from the batch. In all honesty, I push myself to not care and it works, but I feel like this doesn’t change anything. My classmates know for one thing that popularity is not the answer, so what we do is not try to make a name for ourselves in the crowd but instead just try to reach out. In CGS, the whole Boy Pick-Up agenda didn’t go as planned. In the end, still, nobody clapped for our class and nobody cared. That’s how we go. But that wasn’t even the problem! The problem we faced then was facing the last people who had respect for us, and by the end of our “performance,” even they were lost. And it wasn’t easy having to look at everyone in the eye that Talent Night because I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to see their looks of horror and doubt and disappointment because if there was one thing that this class needed, it was respect. Not popularity, fame or the wrong friends. Respect. And no one can stop me from saying that even then, we deserved it. If teachers knew how bullied we were by the rest of the batch, they would know our good purpose for saying all that was said. I truly hope that we end our senior year on a good note with those who deserve it, even if it means being hated by the batch. In the end, my classmates will make it to their dreams and that’s all that matters to me.

I’d like to take this chance to also clear out that I wasn’t able to say everything that I needed to during the class’ open forum because I was choking up too much. I didn’t want it to sound like the world revolved on me and my problems with the grade school dilemma, but I’ll be saving a lot of the small details for graduation letters. However, I think that I’ve said what I needed to. I just don’t want my classmates to hold back solely because they will be judged for being too good. You guys should have the right to achieve without limits. And like I said, you shouldn’t have to be sorry about the good stuff. When all is said and done, we’re leaving all these problems behind. I just duly hope that for the last few days we’re going to have in school that we follow the rules. My last post stands still to be true. 

Anyway, overall, this was the best CGS I’ve had. I certainly could’ve handled myself more efficiently, but I shouldn’t have to take out all the problems I have on this event. It was a trip worth spending my time on, and I would totally re-live everything except for Talent Night.

The Beauty in You

The beauty in you is something that can’t be written it can’t be described and it can’t be captured on film the beauty in you is something untouchable and intangible it’s like air it fills up your lungs and surrounds you but you can never catch it its intoxicating and confusing and wonderful all at the same time.
It’s like flying so scary at first but when you’re over the clouds and the world disappears and you’re so close to the stars nothing else matters.
The beauty in you is complex it’s the mystery that I don’t want to solve because then the magic is gone.
The beauty in you is frightening when something that awe inspiring lies before you all that you can worry about is how it would feel for someone to try and destroy that beauty.
The beauty in you is the only one. There can never be two and it cannot be replaced.
That’s the beauty in you