Isda

Dove sono cavallo e cavaliere? Dov'è il corno dal suono violento?
Dove sono l'elmo e lo scudiere, e la fulgida capigliatura al vento?
Dov'è la mano sull'arpa, e il rosso fuoco ardente?
Dov'è primavera e la messe, ed il biondo grano crescente?
Son passati come pioggia sulla montagna, come raffiche di vento in campagna;
I giorni scompaiono ad ovest, dietro i colli che un mare d'ombra bagna.
Chi riunirà il fumo del legno morto incandescente?
Chi tornerà dal Mare e potrà mirare il tempo lungo e fuggente?
—  J. R. R. Tolkien, Il Signore degli Anelli, Le due Torri

anonymous asked:

your story was so funny omg. do you have any more?

  • So i lived the town over from my high school, and had to catch the bus like an hour and a half every day to and from
  • (a movie. thats a fucking movie, every day, twice a day)
  • (I WAS TWELVE)
  • (commuter tragedy)
  • and because we were all stuck together for so long for like six years, we followed the natural inclination of teenagers to be fucking idiots at every chance
  • and we formed this group of bus kids
  • forged by ridiculous travel times
  • bonded in suffering the ridiculous rule of
  • our bus driver.
  • our bus driver was an old, old lady called jeannine
  • (nickname: the grinch, due to the time we were singing christmas carols and she got annoyed and declared that christmas was canceled.)
  • (CANCELED.)
  • (we put up a sign written in texta that said ‘NO CHRISTMAS - SIGNED, THE GRINCH’)
  • (she did not find it funny)
  • jeannine had been driving the bus since time immemorial
  • (and may have of, in fact, been one of the Old Ones)
  • (never confirmed)
  • (but i have my suspicions)
  • Jeannie ran a tight ship.
  • the tightest ship
  • jeannine was the generalissimo of bus drivers
  • she played this talkback radio station over the speaker system
  • and when we were being too loud or she was jut annoyed with us she would turn it up to deafening levels
  • and we would all block our ears, and then having gotten our attention she would turn it down and shout at us
  • when we were REALLY TERRIBLE
  • (like those two weeks after high school musical premiered and we used to have breaking free singalongs)
  • (yeah)
  • (I would have turned the radio up on our asses too)
  • she would park next to the city graveyard
  • (always the graveyard?)
  • (i dont know why)
  • (mental conditioning?)
  • (subliminal messgakng?)
  • and walk/hobble
  • (she was pretty stooped over)
  • (basically she was your standard old crone)
  • (potentially witch)
  • up and down the aisle tellin us how terrible we were
  • so anyway, one year jeannine goes on a two week break for surgery
  • (what surgery? We never found out. Various sources claim knee, hip or shoulder replacement)
  • (could have been a stay at a lazarus pit)
  • (stay woke)
  • and we get a replacement driver.
  • we called him nickelback because he played a nickelback cd over the speaker,
  • on repeat
  • every bus trip
  • EVERY.
  • TRIP.
  • how the hell’d we wind up like this?
  • so free from the reign of terror that was jeannine, we get a bit wild.
  • and by ‘wild’ i mean we:
  • talk above speaking level,
  • eat our food in the ooen,
  • someone busts out a guitar anyway here’s wonderwall
  • its one of these days,
  • that the Great Apple Fiasco happens.

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Osomatsu-kun ED Translation

The lyrics kinda descend into chaos so the final stanza’s translation is kind of iffy… 

[Edit] Fixed one of the lines

Osomatsu-kun Ondo
おそ松くん音頭

Even if Karamatsu wears Osomatsu’s pants
osomatsu no zubon wo karamatsu ga haite
おそ松のズボンを カラ松がはいて

Or Ichimatsu switches shoes with Choromatsu
choromatsu no shuuzu wo ichimatsu tokkaete
チョロ松のシューズを 一松 取っ替えて

Or Todomatsu draws eyebrows on Jyushimatsu
odomatsu no mayuge wo jyushimatsu ni kaite mo
とど松の眉毛を 十四松に描いても

Shee~h! They’re still identical sextuplets
she- yappari onnaji mutsugo sa
シェー! やっぱり同なじ六つ子さ

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we fight over small things. you hate me for being spontaneous and undecided to things mundane such as choosing between Max’s and KFC and I hate you for blaming me for everything like when your S7 phone got busted because you dipped it in sea water and yeah, how pissed you are because there are no fresh boxers available since I forgot to do the laundry…

if you think you are the only one with the list of grievances to tell, well, guess what? I have my list and I am to dry my dirty clothes out of the window as we speak.

1. you need to accept that we are living in small 2-bedroom, 100 square meter condominium and just like you, i hate living in boxed apartments but i don’t complain because others won’t even have a place or a warm bed to sleep for the night.

2. we have to let go of the other vehicle and use a single car and when I say “use”  i mean “use it wisely” since both petrol and parking are expensive nowadays, may I remind you.

3. I am sorry I forgot to do the laundry on the designated wash days. Do understand that last week was month-end at work and you know how constrained people are when this comes. and please, next time, I would appreciate if you help me bring the dirty clothes to the laundromat because I cannot do it alone. I am 5'4 at 120 lbs and carrying two big heavy duffle bags is labor intensive. You are 6ft tall and fit. if you can carry me in sex, I am sure, lifting heavy bags won’t be an issue with you.

4. I cannot eat meat all the time nay feed on spam and canned goods. I eat ulam and rice and ulam is either isda/gulay or meat/gulay. do you even realize the frustration i feel whenever i see pritong galunggong or laing or aodobng pusit being served and I cannot order those because for one I will be eating it lonesome and it wil be impractical so we have no choice but to order something that you eat and it all ends with pork… not even beef.

5. Of course I have to choose wisely between Max’s and KFC. Had i been single, i’d go Max’s anytime but now that I am tied to you and we need to save, it has to be KFC so sorry nalang kung madalas i can’t make up my mind because we are saving and we do no want to squander whatever inheritance our parents will give us…

6. and do not make an issue whenever i see my friends for lunch. they are my kababata and if we eat out, it’s dutch unless someone’s footing the bill. ben, I do not have qualms with you bringing your barkada at home and i like you going out with them as a matter of fact but please, my friends are like my siblings and they ground me. unlike one of your friends who had the gall to ask me  "magaling ka sigurong chumupa?“

but then you can’t read this and you don’t know this exists..

so there…

zodiac + angels

aries: Gabriel, Angelic Messenger || will grant wisdom for interpreting dreams

taurus: Hadraniel, Angel of Love || will grant you memories of enternal love

gemini: Gavreel, Angel of Peace || will aid you in making peace with your enemies

cancer: Cathetel, Angel of the Garden || will inspire you to love and be thankful for nature

leo: Charmeine, Angel of Harmony || will show you how to bring harmony into your life

virgo: Hael, Angel of Kindness || will inspire beauty, art and kindness

libra: Isda, Angel of Nourishment || will guide you in finding inner beauty and uniqueness

scorpio: Chamuel, Angel of Tolerance || will assist you in loving yourself so you may love others

sagittarius: Machidiel, Angel of Courage || will inspire enthusiasm for adventure

capricorn: Miheal, Angel of Loyalty || will lead you to friends who are trustworthy and loyal

aquarius: Dina, Angel of Learning || will create a thirst for knowledge

pisces: Nemamiah, Angel of Just Causes || will protect and defend the defenseless

note: angels do not want to be worshiped, but if you call out to an angel they will respond and help you without judgement. often times their responses come as the first thought that pops into your head after asking for help

Alam mo dapat kung hanggang saan ka lang sa buhay ng isang tao. Kung wala siyang ginagawa to keep you or magkaroon man lang nang kaunting pake. Then wala ka masyado dapat asahan sa taong ‘yon. Minsan akala mo okay lahat pero hindi dahil ikaw lang naman ang may gusto. Madalas natin ipaniwala sa mga sarili natin na kaya natin kasi iba yung pagmamahal na kaya nating i-offer.

Pero hindi pala ganun ang buhay. Kahit na may ginto pa o diamante ang pag-ibig mo. Kung hindi interisado ang tao, hindi niya talaga papansinin ito. Learn to accept the fact na hindi lahat ng gusto mo ay makukuha mo. Hindi lahat ng isda ay kaya mong binggwitin. At hindi porket kaya mong kuhanin ang bituin sa langit ay basta basta mo lang ito ibibigay.

FILIPINO TERMS
  • ANYONE: is the word used to define a person who was left behind.. "Bakit mo ko Anyone?"
  • ALONE: yun ung makikita mo sa dagat. yung ALONE.
  • BOTH: yung sinasakyan ng mga mangingisda.
  • PEACE: yung english ng isda.
  • EGYPT: yung pambansang sasakyan ng Pilipinas.. Egypt, "There's Egypt coming this way, Para!"
  • CARPENTER : Taga pintura ng kotse.
  • I SPEAK: Yung pang crash ng yelo.
  • VIOLET: ung gusto mo pang bumuli ng isa.
  • CLEMENCY: Yan yung maasim na linalagay mo sa pancit.
  • THE RICH ZOO: Ito ay klase ng kalsada na hindi liko liko. Straight lang.
  • PRINTS PRICE: yung binibili sa Mcdo at Jolibee. "Isang regular prints price nga po"
  • BIT HER: not sweet, not sour, not salty, not tasteless. "Ang bit her ng pagkain!"
  • LOVING FEET TWO: sumunod sa labing anim. Loving Feet too
  • TO WAITER: Isang uri ng social network site na pwede kang magfollow at mag-to wait.
  • SURVEY TEST: Yung tagalog ng ICE CREAM.
  • TIMELINE: Malungkot o walang sigla.. “Bakit ang TIMELINE mo?”
  • I SCREAM: eto yung tinatawag nilang sorbetes.
  • FOLLOWED: Ang sasabihin mo sa tindera ng load.
  • FEARFUL: ung isa pang tawag sa color violet.
  • KOREAN TEA: Yan yung nawawala pag nag- brown out.
  • A TRUST: yung lalakad ng pabalik at kabaliktaran ng abante.
  • MAKE DOUGH: Kalaban ng Jollibee.
  • LAUGH IS: Yan yung ginagamit pang sulat.
  • TWO WHILE YEAH: Yung ginagamit after maligo.
  • SICK RATE: Mga bagay na hindi mo maaring sabihin sa iba.
  • SI BEN 11: yung convenience store kung san ka bumibili ng slurpee.
  • SHE FEEL YOU: Yan yung gamit mo pangtotoothbrush.
  • PERSUADING: Ito yung unang kasal.
  • VAIN TEA: Yan yung tagalog ng Twenty.
  • GRABE TEH!: Is the force that causes two particles to pull towards each other.
  • LOW FEET: Sinasabi kapag nakakita ng astig na pangyayari o bagay. Ang Low Feet!
  • DEDUCT: Ang Pato.
  • SHE CAN: Kadalasang ginagawang adobo at afritada. English term ng Manok.
  • DUE CARE: Kalaban ni Batman.
  • SHE KISS: Dyan makakabili ng pizza. Kalaban ng Pizza Hut.
  • GRIN ITCH: Bilihan ng Pizza na kalaban ng She Kiss.
  • DEPRESS: Yan yung English term ng “Ang Pari”.
  • HAVE A: Yan yung sinasabi kapag maganda at benta yung joke.
  • MALICIOUS: Yung mali yung nasuot mong sapatos.
  • MY DOLL: Yan yung tinatanggap ng mga matatalinong mag-aaral.
  • THE VALUE: Yung susunod sa letrang “V”.
  • CALL THERE OH!: Yung gamit sa pagluluto ng kanin.
  • LOVE BEEN THERE: Favorite color ko. Light color ng violet
  • STD: Yung hindi ka gagalaw.
  • FAUCET: Isang uri ng lamang dagat na may galamay.
  • IN SEX: Example nito ay ants, bees, bugs etc
  • SHE CAN: English term ng manok.
  • CITY: Ito ay bago mag-Otsu. City.
  • A LIE: Sinasabi ng mga Chinese kapag nasasaktan.
  • LOVING A NAME: Yan yung kasunod sa Labinlima.
  • TO WAIT: tunog na nililikha ng ibon. To wait, to wait.
  • INNER ROW: Yan yung kasunod ng Pebrerow, Marsow, Abril, Mayow.
  • THE EGG: Kapag mag magaling siya sa iyo. The Egg ka niya.
  • CONTEMPLATE: Kapag hindi ganun karami ang mga plato sa kusina niyo. Contemplate.
  • COCONUT: Yan ang mangyayari sa chicharong nakabukas ng matagal.
  • EFFORT: Dito lumalapag ang airplane.
  • COPY PASTE BOOK: Kapag sobra ka sa pagpeFACEBOOK, sasabihin sayo ng nanay mo “Itigil mo na nga yang Copy Paste Book Mo!”
  • COUGH FALL: "Ang cough fall ng muka mo!"
  • THE EGG: Kapag mag magaling siya sa iyo. "The Egg ka niya."
  • PLACE: Yan ang salitang ginagamit kapag may pabor kang hinihingi... "Sige na Place!"
  • SWEETS: Ito ung pinipindot para mag on and off ang ilaw.
  • MENTION: yung bahay ng mga RICH.
  • WHY PIE: wireless device for surfing the net.
  • HIDDEN SOLDIER: isang brand ng shampoo.
  • CLAIRE: shampoo brand na kalaban ng “HIDDEN SOLDIERS”
  • ANYHOW: Yan ang tawag sa luto ng mga pagkain na ginigrill tulad ng ANYHOW na manok at ANYHOW na baboy.
  • DEVASTATION: diyan ka pupunta kung gusto mong sumakay ng Bus.
  • FUCK JUAN: yan ung malaking prutas na color green.
  • BIRDIE: Yung tagalog ng green,
  • TEA BALL: kung san tayo Kumakain.
  • CHARTS: pinupuntahan ng mga nagsisimba.
  • CHEAP KNEE: ung Public Utility Vehicle sa pinas.
  • CHEW PEE: yan sinisigaw pag tinataboy ang aso.
  • KPOP: "ang galing mo, kpop the good work!"
  • LONG QUOTE: Ito ung nararamdaman mo pag mag isa ka.
  • DELIVER: sa tagalog "ang atay"
  • THIN A PIE: Yung binibili natin sa Bakery.
  • CONTINUE: "Andami niyo kahapon bakit ngayon ang CONTINUE?"
  • BOO ONE: Tagalog ng moon.
  • MOST KEY TOO: English ng lamok.
  • CALCULATOR: Pag hindi nya pa masagot yung tawag mo, she will just calculator
  • YOU SEE: Tagalog ng cigarette.
  • LOG OUT: pag nahuli kang gumawa ng masama "log-out" ka!!
  • BARREL: Deadly weapon.
  • A SCENE: Yung gamit sa pagluluto na maalat
  • HALF-DAY: ang iyong nararamdaman pagnagkaroon ng sugat. Sentence form: Pare, nagkasugat ako, ang half-day. "Half Day".
  • JUDITD: yun yung fixed na date sa pasahan ng project.
  • DEAR TEH: Sa tagalog Marumi
  • CHOKING: Isang kainan na nagbebenta ng Chinese food.
  • SHOE TIME: yung palabas tuwing 11:30am sa ABSCBN. "It's Shoe Time!"
  • ANCHOR TEST: Babaeng host ng "Its Showtime"
  • BUYS GUN THE: eto yung isa pang host ng "It's Showtime"
  • SEE KNEE: panooran ng movie sa malls.
  • SHE FEEL YOU: yan yung gamit mo pag nagtotoothbrush.
  • WATCHING: Yung sa ACTION movies, Pag nag I-ispadahan sila, Yung sound effect! "Watching ! Watching! "
  • DEDICATE: (act of pasting) ito ay nangangailangan ng GLUE o kahit ano pang pandikit
  • PAY KEY: Kapag hindi original, “PAY KEY” yan.
  • SICK SEA: kapag nakakakita ka ng babaeng maganda ang katawan, eto ang sasabihin mo, "Wow, sick sea!"
  • TOBACCO: Yun yung sinasabi kapag tumaas ang timbang. Tobacco!
  • LITURGY: Ang pang pitong letra sa alphabet na ang kasunod ay letter H.
  • WEIGHT: Ito ay salitang ginagamit para di ka madaliin… "Weight!"
  • RECHARGE: Pangalan ng anak ni Anabelle Rama. "Recharge! Recharge! Asan ang kapatid mong si Rofa?”
  • CHAIRS: Pag may celebration at nag-iinuman sinasabi natin, CHAIRS!! Or CHAIRS kayo diyan!
  • BLOG: Kapag may nahulog mula sa 10th floor. BLOG!
  • HOSTESS: To answer a ringing telephone, you say, “HOSTESS?”
  • CAVITY: Yung lugar paglampas ng Coastal Road. Cavity.
  • FOLK FOLK: Ayoko husgahan ang mga FOLK FOLK.
  • SEEDY: Ang Munting Prinsipe. Seedy.
  • CATTLE: Kung san nakatira ang mga Printeta at Printipe.
  • BITS: Malanding babaeeeeng makati.
  • FULL BOW: Yan yung nilalagay natin sa muka para pumuti.
  • COMPOSURE: isang taong nagsusulat ng mga kanta.
  • SIN TEA: karaniwang ginagawa ng mga broken hearted.
  • MENOPAUSE: Yun yung mag mamano yung jejemon sa lola mo.
  • FOOLING HER: pag nalalagas ang buhok. Pangit shampoo ko, dami ko fooling her.
  • VAN YOU: Dyang naliligo, Umiihi at dumudumi.
  • FEW FEEL: tawag sa mga mag-aaral sa elementary.
  • BOW HULK: Tagalog ng hair.
  • FAST COW: Christmas
  • A NESTEA: sa tagalog, katapatan. A NESTEA is the best policy!
  • FULL LESS: humuhuli sa mga magnanakaw.
  • PART TEA: ginawa kapag may birthday.
  • THOUGHT BRUSH: eto yung panglinis ng ngipin
  • THOUGHT PEACE: eto yung nilalagay sa THOUGHT Brush
  • FETCH THE BALL: eto yung english ng Gulay
  • EAT MY NOSE FOR: eh di equals four!
You love it

Prompt: 

Summary:Phil didn’t mean to hear it. But whatever it was, it was hot as fuck.

Genre: smuff fluffy smut

Warning: smut (dirty-talking sort of), swearing

Words: 2, 186 words aha

A/N: it’s been ages since this was sent and im v sorry if I gave it so late. I was too busy with school and um procrastinating. Yeah. Nice. Again, welcome the bad smut. Translation will be said in the end btw (I apologise to all Filipinos who’ll read this and all Dan would say will just ruin the mood)

“Mum, for the last time, I don’t want to talk to them.” Dan frustratingly sighed for the hundredth time since his mother called. He thought this talk would end up quickly; but no.

She’s making him speak to his aunt and cousins while she’s on the line; because, apparently, his parents are in the Philippines, having a short vacation and staying over at a friend’s house.

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2

Kung ikaw ay nasaktan o sinaktan, paano ka nga ba makakapagmove on, Ireblog mo to, i-like mo, i-pin mo sa kwarto mo, sulat mo sa likod ng notebook mo… Eto na

#1. Accept.- Tanggapin mong wala na talaga, pano ka makakamove on kung iniisip mong may chance pa talaga. 

#2. Alisin mo sya sa paningin mo.- Iunfollow mo sa twitter saka tumblr. Unfriend mo sa facebook. alisin mo sa contacts mo o mas maganda pang magpalit ka ng sim card para hindi mo sya maalala at tuluyang makapagmove on ka.

#3. Manlandi ka ng iba- Entertain suitors, pero wag munang magjowa agad baka masaktan ka ulit, flirt flirt lang, landi-landi ng kaunti. 

#4. Isipin mong there is someone better than him/her- marami pang isda sa karagatan pati hipon madami. may makikilala ka pang better than him/her na mamahalin ka ng labis-labis.

#5. Aliwin ang sarili.- Magparty, Gimik, gala-gala din pag may time para makalimutan mo sya. have time for yourself, ikaw muna pansamantala… ansaya kaya maging Single.

#6. Itapon mo yung mga regalo nya- Be practical, idonate mo na lang sayang din yan. One way para hindi mo na sya maalala.

#7 Magfocus sa ibang gawain- Mag-aral ka na lang matututo ka pa o kaya naman magdrawing ka, magsayaw, tumambling, magluto, magtanim, kumanta, kumain ng bubog, gawin mo lahat ng magpapasaya sayo hindi yung lagi sya yung iniisip mo.

#8. Magpaganda/ Magpapogi- Pumuntang parlor, barberya basta dapat maganda/pogi ka para kapag nakita ka nya makita nya kung ano yung sinayang nya.

#9. Umiyak- Ilabas mo lahat ng iyan. iyak ka lang ng iyak hanggang mawala. set those pain free from yourself.

#10. Smile- Pagkatapos mong ilabas yung sakit. Tumayo ka at ngumiti, ipakita mo sa mundo na kaya mo ng wala sya. 

note: tandaan “Everything happens for a reason” siguro nagbreak kayo dahil kailangan mo muna ng time para sa sarili mo. wag mong isipin na mali sya sa buhay mo, he/she was never a mistake. wag magtanim ng galit, papangit ka nyan… SMILE lang.

THAT THING CALLED “PAASA”

Noong bata pa ako galit na galit ako sa mama ko kapag sinabihan n’ya ‘yung saleslady sa isang mall na babalikan na lang n’ya yung laruan na gusto ko tapos wala naman pala talaga s’yang balak balikan. Uuwi nanaman akong luhaan. Isang malaking PAASA nanaman.

Grabe pala ano? bata palang tayo na meet na natin si Paasa. Simula noon hindi na s’ya nawala sa tabi natin. Tulad noong: 

  • Akala mo aalis kayong pamilya para mamasyal, yun pala hindi na tuloy
  • Kapag naman natuloy, nagbihis ka pa ng maganda ‘yun pala hindi ka kasama
  • Kapag dumating na sila galing mall at madami silang dala akala mo may pasalubong ka, ‘yun pala wala naman talaga.
  • Kapag may pasalubong ka naman, pagtingin mo hindi ito ‘yung binilin mo o kaya hindi ito ‘yung gusto mo.
  • Kahit sa loob ng ref makikita mo s’ya e, yung akala mo ice cream pag bukas mo isda pala.
  • O kaya pagbukas mo ng ref, puro tubig lang naman pala.
  • Nag text ‘yung kaibigan mo otw na daw s’ya, ‘yun pala kagigising pa lang n’ya.
  • Nag text ‘yung crush mo, crush ka rin daw n’ya, teka, wrong send lang daw pala.

Puro heartaches at disappointments na lang nakukuha natin kapag nag e-expect tayo sa isang bagay na gusto nating mangyari pero hindi ito naabot ng satisfaction mong maarte sa katawan. Bakit ‘yung mga inaasahan natin ‘yun pa yung hindi nangyayari? Dahil lagi na na lang nating pinapangunahan ang lahat kaya ang resulta nasasaktan tayo. Hindi natin maiiwasang mag expect sa mga bagay na makakapagpasaya sa’tin. Tapos sa huli masasabi mo na lang. Tangina paasa nanaman.