Independant-Living

anonymous asked:

When did you realize/decide you don't want to have kids?

once i got to college and starting living independently and realised how little i want someone else to depend on me

If you’ve been deeply affected by reading “My Family’s Slave” here are some general concrete things you can do.

1) Understand and tell other people that this is not only something that happens in the Philippines. It happens in many other countries. Probably on every continent. For example, in Haiti, they’re called restaveks. Across South Asia, many child slaves work in the textile industry. Don’t treat this as an individual personal failing done only by a few bad people when it’s a vast economic system that thrives in secrecy and which many of us indirectly benefit from.

2) There’s no true ethical consumption but you can at least not support industries, companies or entire economies heavily involved in modern day slavery. Cut out visiting Dubai, for example (although I don’t know anyone that rich).

3) Support transnational unions of service and domestic workers.

4) If you or anyone you know employs domestic workers, talk to them discreetly and compassionately. Ask what they need and how you can support them. Ask who takes care of THEIR kids. Keep your eyes open.

5) Look at any local laws that passively encourage these exploitative relationships and work towards changing them. Immigration law is a huge issue in this area. Undocumented workers scared to come forward because they don’t want to be deported, for example.

6) Fight for feminism and disability rights because women and disabled people are especially vulnerable. I remember in the 90s there was a vast Mexican slave ring that enslaved deaf Mexicans and made them beg on the subways in NYC for money. I gave money to some of these people not knowing that they were kept as slaves and had to turn all their money over to their slavemasters at night, and it shocked the hell out of me. Private charity doesn’t work - these people need living wages, independence, legal advocates. All fixes on a systemic basis.

okay, so I’ve seen multiple posts just today that were basically like “haha who ever said adulthood was having your life together and everything figured out, I’m 28 and real life is drowning me as much as it ever was”

and like…the answer to that is…adults. adults said that. generation after generation, the narrative from adults to young people has been, “you are a dumb kid who doesn’t know the world or yourself but I am a Grownup with Life Experience™, and that’s why you’re supposed to do what I tell you, that’s why I don’t need to listen to your thoughts and feelings, that’s why society imagines me as a full human being and you as something that’s going to grow into a full human being.”

there’s a great book all about this that I’ve had a lot of my students read - Childhood and Society, by a sociologist named Nick Lee. Lee argues that the child/adult binary is a socially constructed one, based, like any other such binary, on an imagined idea of clearly oppositional characteristics. specifically, he says that children are imagined as incomplete, unstable (as in their lives and experiences are constantly changing, not as in mentally unstable), and dependent, and adults as complete, stable, and independent. those characteristics don’t match up to reality if you think about them too hard for even a moment - no one is truly independent, adults’ lives aren’t stable, what does judging a human being’s “completeness” even mean - but it doesn’t matter, because our culture is so obsessed with believing in them.

and adults being forced to pretend they’re complete and independent and living stable lives is one of the toxic ways all this plays on people of all ages.

I really hope that seeing my generation talk like this - just flat-out admit that we don’t know what the hell we’re doing any better than we did ten years ago - means we have the potential to break this cycle. but honestly, entering my 30s and having seen so many people my age turn into those adults who act like they have life so well figured out compared to those dumb kids, it doesn’t seem likely. we might be a little better than we could’ve been, but too many of us are going down that tired old road of transitioning from talking about how much smarter we are than our parents to talking about how much smarter we are than our kids, just like every generation does when it hits this age.

I guess what I’m saying is, please, young 20-somethings of today, be better ten years from now than we are.

room for two- jjk(m)

Originally posted by rapmonsexpensivegirl

summer in New York has never been so hot.

(m)-mature / 6.5k words / roomate!jungkook / happy reading !

reqs;  jungkook accidental roommate smut? u accidentally buy the same apartment (it happens in dramas often) (+)  Can I request switch!jungkook smut? Like he starts out submissive and then bOOM! He’s dominant af


Summer in New York had never been more depressing. Or hot. Every step outside seems to melt the flesh from your bones, every memory you had of him peeled another layer off your heart. It had been three months of pure hell and although the heat made the thought of being close to anyone impossibly unbearable, you’d give anything to hold him in your arms again. But he had cheated on you, left you, and the best thing to do was move on. Or at least try.

The weather forecast predicted a humid rain, clouds shrouding the ominous sky and a layer of mystery covering the roof of your new home. Or the new home you’d be sharing with four other people. This is supposed to be the city of new beginnings and independent lives. Where one can explore themselves through the city. But sadly, as a transferred college student, the only thing you could afford was a share house in the middle of Brooklyn.  

Sucking in a deep breath, you grunt while lugging your large suitcase and duffel up the short set of stairs, banging on the door somewhat gracefully with your elbow. Almost immediately, as if you’d been waited upon, the door unlatches and an older, thinner woman appears. Her skin is somewhere between tan and gold, wrinkle lines around her eyes and mouth. The hair atop her head is swirled into an artful bun, small wisps of white-gray hair escaping the masterpiece.

“Just on time,” her voice is sweet, slow, and welcoming, stepping aside and waving you in.

Keep reading

So I ran
I ran from it all
you brought me happiness
you turned my skies a brighter shade of blue and you made my daisies bloom in every season

but
I am happy alone, too
I still have my daisies and the sky is still blue

maybe being alone is better than risking another broken heart

—  m. a.
2

Real Ciel and his fear (?) of being left alone. 
Ch129: “I will never leave you alone again”

vs.
Ch132: “Why do you leave me alone?”

((I think it’s interesting that our Ciel didn’t have any issues with leaving the Phantomhive family (his twin brother) and living an independent life on his own in London one day, whereas real Ciel was totally shocked just by the thought of being separated from OC!))

Cancer
There’s No Place Like Home 

Dorothy’s imagination is much like Cancer’s, becoming lost in a dreamy daze of lullabies and wickedness. On her journey through Oz she meets her many forms, the beautiful Godmother, that being her spirit guide, dwelling in her 4th house. Cancer is of course, the fairy god mother, the divine mother, when I am with some Cancer mothers I know I do feel them approach me in a pink orb, holding a wand of psychic prophecy and guidance. And the wicked witch emanates through Cancer, the dark mother coerced with jealousy. The individual can be intrusive, possessive, and unwilling to let friends, family, or children carry out lives independent of their own. Along the yellow brick road she meets her many children, the munchkins, that which she mothers over all, innocent and vulnerable. Through imaginary lands she meets her counterparts, seemingly the zodiacs cradling her side by side. The Scarecrow who is searching for a brain, the Gemini who she must integrate, that who has burned and lost their mind through overthinking. And then the cowardly lion, preparing for Leo, learning courage, faith, and bravery. To the Great Wizard of Oz she searches, knowing this magic would find her home. All Dorothy wanted was home. She finds the great wizard, nearly dazed by poison poppies, that of her toxic fantasies. The Great Wizard is forbearing, all powerful, or so it seems. This can be her duality, her shadow Capricorn, the great and the accomplished, triggering her fears of insufficiency, her knowledge that tremendous authority rests within her, that which she is scared to wield. What the Cancer doesn’t know worries her- especially when it comes to herself. The Great wizard is her, she balances on the zodiac’s most ascended axes. She is the Great Wizard, the Great Mother, the People’s Princess. When she realizes all is not what it seems - she returns home. Much like the inner and outer Jupiter journeys the Cancer makes, internally restless, externally homely. 

-C.

So we have here two strong female protagonists of a non-ecchi show made by the acclaimed studio KyoAni.

One of which is an all-powerful dragon with enough strength to destroy the planet and has literally taken a man down by episode 2. She also just happens to be a proud lesbian in love with the other protagonist for actual, deep and non-anime reasons.

The other protagonist is independent, lives on her own in Urban Japan (which is very hard to do, mind you) and is working in a “man’s field”, treated with equality and respect by her colleagues and is platonic friends with a male co-worker.

By Episode 2 they’ve basically adopted their own child.

But some otakus on Tumblr decide that they do not like the show because the titular shape-shifting dragon made a boob joke when asked about the form she freely chose herself.

Some communities are really hard to please.

  • Allistics: It's rude to ask questions about things that are very personal. Those things are private and none of your business, so don't bring it up.
  • Autistic person: I'm autistic.
  • Allistics: You don't have REAL AUTISM. What are your meltdowns like? How often do you have them? Do you wear diapers? Are you independent in the bathroom? Do you ever run into traffic? Do you bang your head on things, or self-injure some other way? Do you put random things in your mouth? Do you live independently? Do you get services at school or work? Are you on disability payments? When were you diagnosed?
  • Autistic person: I don't want to answer those questions because they're invasive and make me uncomfortable.
  • Allistics: That's rude of you. When someone asks a question, you're supposed to answer!
Hey I'm in a bad financial/housing status right now and you could help me by getting a free dog walk

I walk dogs for work and if someone puts in my referral code for a free 20$ walk and actually do the walk, I get 25$ from that, and 25$ would really help me out right now. The app is called WAG, if they have it in your city you’ve probably already seen ads for it. You can download it and put in my promo code ( ANNA3809 ) for a free 20$ walk and somebody will come to your house and walk your dog/dogs for you. You can either be home and let them in at the door or if u have a lockbox or spare key use that to give the walker access if you get a walk for when you’re not home.

I only get the 25$ if the walk is completed, unfortunately I don’t get the money just from it being entered. Also you should be prepared to pay like $2-4 dollars for the tip even though the walks free.

I recently got cut off from my home and my family and I was not prepared financially for finding new housing and living independently. Every 25$ is super super important to me and I appreciate it so much

TLDR; I’m a poor lesbian trying to find housing, you can download the dog walking app WAG and get a free walk that I get a 25$ credit for if you use my promo code ANNA3809

Reblogs would be very appreciated thank you dears 💕💖💕💖🐶🌈

Tips for people heading to college in the fall:

1. If you don’t know how to do your own laundry, now’s the time to learn. Read the wash instructions on your clothes, and follow them. Buy detergent ahead of time, and bring plenty of change or keep your student account stocked.

2. Bring washable cutlery, plates, and bowls, and kitchen utensils, like pots, pans, and baking trays. Also, bring dish soap and sponges, because chances are your dorm won’t have them.

3. A reusable water bottle is a must-have. 

4. In spite of what you may believe, all-nighters aren’t the norm, because they aren’t advisable. Get at least 6 hours of sleep, preferably more, on a regular basis. Late nights are an absolute last resort.

5. Disability services are available through most colleges, and they are there to support you if you need them. If you have a physical/learning disability, chronic illness, mental illness, or anything that requires additional support and accommodations, seek them out as early as possible. You will be able to request accommodations, whether it’s taking exams in a quiet room, extended deadlines, reduced course loads, or excused absences. The nature of your disability will remain confidential.

6. Although most colleges offer counseling services and other resources for mental health, they’re mostly short-term services. If you need long-term counseling or psychiatric services, use your university’s counseling center to explore local options outside your university.
  **If you have an insurance plan that covers mental health treatment, familiarize yourself with it, because not all practices will take your insurance. 

7. Contact your roommate (if you have one) ahead of time and set up some ground rules for living together. 

8. Eat regular, nutritious meals. If this means taking storage containers to the dining hall and pocketing extra food for the week, go ahead. You’re the one paying thousands of dollars to eat. 

9. Exercise. The freshman 15 is not a myth. 

10. You don’t need to drink yourself to death in order to have a good time. 

11. College is a lot less structured than high school, and it’s easy to lose sight of the importance of creating a routine. Try to get up and go to bed around the same time each morning and night, eat meals at roughly the same time each day, and keep track of your assignments. It’s a lot of responsibility and a lot of freedom, but you’ll need routine more than you think. 

12. Keep in touch with your support network from home, whether it’s family, friends, or old teachers. They’ll all want to know how you’re doing, and they’re all there to support and love you.

13. Don’t be afraid to approach professors for help, or to ask for extensions if you really need them. They’re there to help you, and your initiative and interest in learning will likely be well-received. 

14. Everyone struggles in college. You’re going to fuck up sometimes, and so is everyone else. Don’t beat yourself up when things go wrong, because you’re not the only one struggling. You are not a failure. 

distraction | osh [m]

Originally posted by fy-sexo-exo

oh sehun. reader-insert. 3,5k words. roommate!au. smut.

—sometimes you really need a distraction from college life, how lucky that sehun needs one, too

“Do me a favor, pick me up, take me out later / Are you down to be a distraction, baby?” —Kehlani, Distraction

requested by @sassyunicorns2 for the drabble game (although this one turned out to become a scenario ;;; the song is great btw!)

“I’ll make it quick—” you breathed out as you broke the kiss, supporting your weight on Sehun’s shoulders, “Unconventional sex, no feelings, no obligations. Are you in or not?” you shoot the question quickly, gazing into his lecherously dark eyes. 

“Babe, you could put all sorts of conditions. Right now I need you to take off your clothes and that quickly,” he spoke in between his panting, running his hands up your back, over to your neck to pull you down for another kiss. 


Keep reading

Dear young closeted lgbt+ this Pride,

If you live in a household where a part of who you are is unholy, disgusting or unnatural to your family: Do not endanger yourself by getting caught up in the excitement of Pride. You see videos online of people cheering in the streets and waving their lovely flags. And you wish with all your heart that you can be there. You see someone at your school with a button or shirt that proudly proclaims that they are not afraid. This does not mean that you should not be afraid. You watch as a lovely couple kiss and hug each other. You hear the words of encouragement to participate in the festivities ‘if you are proud of who you are.’ You can be proud of yourself for staying strong and happy and safe. You do not have to be loud and proclaiming like them to be proud.
Prioritizing your safety or staying quiet during Pride does not make you Not-Proud. Prioritizing your safety during Pride does not make you any less valid.
I know that I hurts. I know that it hurts soooo bad. I know I know. I know every inch of you might want to join in and scream that you love who you love. I know you want to shout it from the rooftops. But you cannot right now. I know it hurts. I know it hurts. Hold on.
If you are not sure that you are proud at all. If coming out to your family at this time in your life only puts you in danger- don’t do it.
Do not fall for the pressures that Pride brings.
To all you closeted kids out there that are afraid: I am proud of you. I am so so proud of you for staying strong. I am so proud that you have kept a smile on your face and forgiveness in your heart and I’m so proud that you are not becoming bitter with resentment in your misery. I am proud of you for being responsible and waiting until the time is right and you are financially independent or living elsewhere. I am proud of you. Be proud this month. But be safe too. Happy June♡♡♡

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips for people around high school age looking for jobs 15-18? Would be very helpful, thanks!

Before you do anything:

First impressions are one of your most powerful assets as a job hunter! No matter your age, your ability to carry yourself and to speak confidently will be admired. Unfortunately, the 15-18 age range is notorious for not being “adult” enough, so it’s very important that you work to set yourself apart.

1. Phone calls: Get comfortable talking to strangers on the phone ASAP. I’ve worked in customer service for eight years (four of which were spent in a call center), a good phone voice can make all the difference. Most potential employers do not respond well to “like” and “um”, many won’t even meet with you if you have “young” phone voice.

2. Correspondence: There’s a lot of correspondence that happens before an actual job interview takes place. Be prompt and courteous in all your correspondence, and always check your emails/texts for grammatical or spelling errors before you send them.

3. Looking older: Is there something quick you can do to make yourself look older? Maybe putting your hair up in a bun, growing a mustache, wearing glasses, etc. If you have a very young looking face like me, wear obvious make up.

4. References: Accumulate an impressive list of professional references. Potential employers always ask for references, but I’ve had several employers only call one of my references. Here are some people who you can ask to be your reference:

  • Your old teacher
  • Your old guidance counselor
  • Your old co-worker
  • An old camp counselor
  • Someone who trained you at a job
  • A family friend who owns a respectable business

5. Arrive early: Arrive significantly early for your interview. I recommend arriving a half hour before your interview, because it will set a nice precedent for your timeliness. If there is a receptionist or people working in the area that you are waiting, be chatty and ask them questions about the job. Offices are gossipy, so the more favorable impressions you make- the better!

6. Follow up: After your interview, wait several hours and send a nice email thanking your potential employer for the opportunity to meet with them. If you don’t hear from them within a week of your interview, reach out with an email asking if there’s anything else they need from you. If you don’t get the job, be courteous in your response to them and say something like “Thank you for the opportunity, I hope you’ll consider me in the future”. If you do that, they will consider you in the future!

Why you should never say “All men are...”

When third wave/radical feminists say “all men are assholes/rapists/etc.), let’s take a look at the facts.  There are 3.41 billion males in the world. While majority of women fall victims to the hands of males, there are just as many females guilty of being abusers. Here are a couple of statistics before you start attacking me.

  • - 40% of domestic violence victims were men (2004-2005, 2008,2009)
  • 43.4% of men were abused by their partners in 2006-2007. This rose to 45.5% in the following year, but dropped to 37.7% in 2008.
  • In 2006-07, 48.6% of men were subject to severe force during conflict with a partner.

Men are less likely to report abuse or rape because 90% of the time, they are not taken seriously. Second of all, do you know how much pressure they go through because men are EXPECTED to be strong and “manly”, so they’re expected to deal with rape or abuse?

Out of 3.41 billion males in the world, you think ALL of them are rapists and abusive? You think every single man in the world is capable of violence and danger? What about that husband who influences his wife to work so they can both be successful? What about that father who works long hours so his daughters have the privilege of being educated in the top universities in the country? What about that brother who is willing to protect his mother and sister from danger?

You all say “All men are this…”, do you have little brothers? Little male relatives? Do you categorize them in the same stereotype too? Do you look at him and go, “you’re gonna grow up to be a rapist”?

When you were born, did you realize that you’re 50% your father and 50% your mother? Had it not been for your father’s sperm, you would not have been here. Don’t give me BS that you’d be conceived in other ways, no you wouldn’t. If it wasn’t for your mother AND father, you wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t have been here.

I am aware, not everyone of us had the privilege of having good men in our lives, and I’m sorry that I cannot relate to abuse or rape victims. Majority of the men in my life made sure the women in their lives were independent, strong, stable, and not reliant on the men of the family. My father raised me by saying, “you don’t need a man in your life. You don’t have to please any men in your life.” That’s the motto I follow to this day. I don’t need men.

You all have tor realize that not all men are the same. You all saying all men are the same is EQUIVALENT to this:

“20/100 women raped or abused their partners, SO ALL WOMEN ARE EVIL AND BAD!!”

Lastly, If men can’t have a say in women’s rights, than women shouldn’t have a say in men’s rights.

I’m ready for y’all to fight me.